Warrior Babes The Second

The LA Branch

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The Boss
 
Big Wig
 
In charge of it all
Took the offer
A new business all his
Kind of a cool place
A buinch of cars are his
Just pick and choose
Able to go out in daylight
Special protective glass all around

Second Chance
 
Unlife Anew
 
Came back somehow
At first he was incorporeal
Unable to touch at all
Almost sucked down below
Became solid once again
Unsure of his future
Possibly human in the future
At loose ends at this time

A New Life
 
Hello Assistant
 
Not thrilled with being called secretary
She prefers to be called an assistant
Threat of death
Just fine with secretary
Able to see the sun
Through the special glass
Making it in the world
So many benefits
Types like a superhero
Not among the judgey
Keeps the same hours
As her boss
Plus she needs the dental plan
Creatures of the night unite
Even off the human blood

The Lawyer
 
Chosen
 
Feeling out of sorts
Unsure of his place
Just the one that punches
He was chosen
Gets all lawyerd up
Full of the knowledge
Plus some crappy music
Good for elecution
Also full of demony knowledge
Kicked ass at his first trial
Sure there is no evil up there
Just a whole bunch of knowledge
That wasn't there before
It's still him underneath

The Liasion
 
Eve
 
Pops in out and most unwanted
Can't trust her working with the big guys
A child of the Senior Partners
Their to do their bidding
Falling in love along the way
Causing her to lose her job
All her perks like immortality cease
Only the man she loves is taken away
 
The New Liasion
 
Marcus Welby
 
A well dressed man
With a menacing presence
Comes in with not a word
Running for her life
Shoves his fist through a chest
Finally speaks up
Looking for her to sign
Terminatined her employment
Along with all the benefits
Super polite and oh so creepy

Equal Opportunity Saver
 
A demon hunting, helpless saving dysfunction family
 
Helpful Tips
 
1. If you need to have a private conversation with the few people you know and turst make sure you sweep for bugs first.
 
2. If you believe you are being followed make sure you aren't even if you are late because it's better to be late than spied on.
 
3. Be aware that just because you all have been put in charge of the law firm that doesn't mean that there aren't people or whatever out to get you.
 
4. Make sure none of the employees are masking their evilness. Do a sweep for drugs that can mask them while singing for Lorne.
 
Angel: The Boss
 
Secretary/Assistant: Harmony Kendal
 
She must check with Angel before she does anything to make sure there aren't any more screwups.
 
Wesley Wyndham-Price: Research and Intelligence Department
 
Magickal Books: Each one ties into a discipline within the Wolfram & Hart archives.
 
They can conjure an anything, not just Wolfram & Hart's own stock.
 
Secretary: Jennifer
 
Winifred Burkle: Practical Science Department
 
Lorne: Entertainment Division
 
His office is a carb-free zone.
 
Charles Gunn: Lawyer and Demon Expert
 
His mind was enchanced with comprehensive knowledge of the law. The degrees are forged but he's the real deal. He has also been enhanced with demon knowledge. Being able to play golf is all part of the mojo the big boys installed.
 
Angel's Plan
 
We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram & Hart because it's a powerful weapon and we'll figure out how to wield it. Sooner or later they'll tip their hand and we'll find out why they really brought us here. Meanwhile we do the work our way one at a time. We deal with whatever comes next.
 
The Departments
 
Internment Acquisitions Division: Grave robbing which brings in mucho dinero. It has been shut down. Novack turned a lawyer into a bucket o lawyer when he tried to turn away their biggest client Magnus Hainsley who had a contract with the firm.
 
Voodoo Division: Make sure that you check employees for voodoo dolls that look like you well you know why.
 
Hourly sweeps are done by Mystics to ensure against spectral intrusion. But it can be blocked by certain experts in the black arts which pretty much makes them useless.
 
Non Human Resources: Mistress Riva
 
Psychics are one of the advantages of the corporate teat.
 
To avoid vamps killing humans they are randomly tested and those test results go directly to Fred.
 
Operational Training and Research: A room equipped with automated training devices. You don't have to test a subject by just allowing her to pop you.
 
Hospital: All patients are in good hands or claws as the case may be.
 
Room equipped with automated training devices. You have to just tell the one in question like in the case of Illyria by having her pop you one.
 
Advantages
 
Psychics are one of the advantages of the corporate teat.
 
Wolfram & Hart jets can travel to England in four hours.
 
We're changing the system from the inside. Fred
 
Wolfram & Hart has offices in every major city in the world.

The Conduit Tips
 
1. You can't reason with the conduit.
 
2. It gets really pissed off when you don't do what it wants.
 
3. It packs quite a punch and can deal out a serious beating.
 
4. Not big with the sharing of information.
 
5. Don't ever try to deal with it because you won't like the results.
 
6. The physical form of the conduit is determined by the viewer so don't be surprised if you see yourself looking back at you.
 
I am not your friend. I am not your flunky. I am your conduit to the Senior Partners and they are tired of your insolence. Oh, yeah they are not here for your convenience. Deals are for the Devil.

The Senior Partners
 
The Senior Partners aren't very patient.

The Senior Partners don't take betrayal lightly. Charles
 
You can hide from the Senior Partners but not from the DMP and not from our many, many ears. Charles
 
Eve: Liasion to the Senior Partners
 
Multidimensional Corporation
 
We're a business and have a bottom line. Now you can take your new client list and start hacking away from the top down. A lot of our clients are demons and almost all of them are evil. It's always more complicated than they seem champ. I mean you could shut this place down but then you wouldn't have it anymore. The place closes down the conections dry up evil goes next door. This is the catch I'm explianing the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See in order to keep this business running you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients most of them anyway happy.
 
You're on the in's now. You can stop the worst of it maybe find some new solutions to some old problems. Come on isn't anyone excited? This is a crazy time of fun. The most powerful evil around has given a pivotal position over to its sworn enemies.
 
Angel's Phone
 
You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press 1 or say goat.
 
To sacrifice a loved one or a pet press the pound key.
 
Special Opps Team
 
Headed up by Agent Howser who is now dead.

Charles The Lawyer In Action
 
Thank you. Your honor the defense moves for a mistrial. Your honor that's the second prejudicial remark you've made against the defense since I entered the room. You are your honor. I'm asking that you recuse yourself from this trial. No judge shall be appointed to try any case concerning a business colleague or employee. Permission to approach the bench. The highlighted portions indicate stock in Oriental Bay Exports which is owned by Lorison Incorporated which in turn is owned by a consortium that includes the defendent Corbin Fries. I found out and I've been on the case six hours.
 
Lawyer Knowledge
 
McKracken vs the state of Maine 1954
 
Any financial dealings shall be deemed the responsibility of the interested party regardless of number or function of employees unless said party has been judged mentally incapable.
 
Permission to approach. And furthermore the strain on my client's several businesses has forced Oriental Bay Exports to shrink its holdings of late if Mr Fries is convicted the interest your honor has in it would represent the controlling interest. I would prefer not to present the rest of our findings in front of the jury.
 
Agent Howser's Last Words
 
You really think you can solve the problem, come into Wolfram & Hart and make everything right. Turn night into glorious day, you pathetic little fairy. That's exactly what you are. You're miniscule, a dust mote on the shelf of that great institution. You think I'm just a trigger happy jerk who follows orders but I am something you will never be I'm pure. I believe in evil, You, your friends, you're conflicted, you're confused. We're not. That is why you are gonna lose. Because we possess the most powerful thing in the world conviction.

Internal Archives Classified Histories

Dark Soul
 
Therre are over 3200 different references. Four of them are about Angelus.
 
Dark Soul 182
 
The Reaper Mathia McVane
 
European aristocrat 18th centruy became a doctor. Nicknamed the Reaper for performing unnecessary surgery on his patients. The kind that you don't recover from. Word spread of his unorthodox practices. Fled to California still under Spanish rule at the time. His arrival coincided with a rash of brutal ritualitistic murders. Pieces of the victims placed in a manner suggesting an intimate knowledge of the dark arts. The slaughter continued for the better part of twenty years. The perpetrator was never caught at least not by the authorities. Wolfram & Hart took him out because they needed his blood. Representatives from Wolfram & Hart were looking to build a new branch in what would eventually become Los Angelese unfortunately a Spanish mission was already resting on the sitie the seers recommended. They needed an appropriate sacrifice to deconsecrate the grounds. So this place is built on the blood of a mass murdering psychopath. He was made solid and put in permanent storage.
 
If there's anything that Wolfram & Hart excels at it's keeping their unmentionables unmentioned. Eve
 
Historical Narrative Prophecies
 
Shanshu
 
It tells an epic apocalyptic battle where the vampire with the soul who plays a major part in that battle and there's a suggestion that the vampire will get to live again. The text isn't specific about the battle. Any vampire who has a soul who isn't a ghost.

Helpful Tips
 
 1. When doing flyers for a party: 'Wolfram & Hart wants to be up your alley' sounds like a bus station pickup line unless of course that is what you were going for and that's the location of your party.
 
 2. Don't bottle stuff up because you might end up punching the Halloween decorations. Inanimate objects that look evil are not necessarily going to be evil.
 
 3. Don't neglect the few that you know you can trust. After all it's just against all the others at the firm. Stick together and hang out on occasion instead of being all work all the time.
 
 4. Have a drink once in a while and let your hair down because it helps to relieve the tension of working in an evil law firm.
 
 5. Have someone keep track of your meetings to avoid those awkward naked moments.
 
 6. Make sure you are the only one who has a key so people that are unwanted don't show up when you are needing some private time.
 
 7. It's a really bad sign when your reflection starts talking to you.
 
 8. If you are looking waxy eat a bagel.
 
 9. If you kill a demon with blood that stings when it hits the skin take a nice long shower to get all squeaky clean.
 
10. Have the Transooning Furies pop by for a visit to cut down on the violence to avoid little snags like your friendly neighborhood empath demon going all crazy after having his sleep removed.
 
11. Don't allow people in that are wearing suits that are skinned from people or demons because that's just gross not to mention the potential smell factor.
 
12. A good host doesn't make judgements.
 
13. One person doesn't have to be the host of everything that's why you have your friends to back you uup when you're out of sorts or going a bit crazy.

Lorne On Parties And Fun
 
Yeah you know Angel I don't have super  human strength and I'm not a fighter. Quantam Physics makes me nauseous. I barely made a passing grade in Mystical Studies. But I'm on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help even if you don't.
 
Procedures Done
 
They are stored in the Psyche Component Storage Facility
 
Sleep Removed: In and out in twenty minutes with no scarring.
 
Not recommended especially if you're an empath because things can get really ugly.
 
Inner Ear Removed: Madeline in Accounting had this procedure done so go to her to find out how it went.
 
Sleep Disorders
 
Empath
 
The effects of long term sleeplessness on the subconscious mind of an empath can be catastrophic. Under normal conditions Lorne has the ability to read peoples destinies but now I think he's writing them. So what instead of receiving he's transmitting. And that's only phase one. If you sever the empath from his subconscious for too long that subconscious it can manifest. Big, bad, ugly twin and not in a good way.
 
Charles On Image
 
We got to show all the big bads that the new regime is here to stay. For the most part it boils down to image and imagewise if the party doesn't kick ass we lose face.
 
Demon Contracts
 
Demon law requires blood signatures on all documents.
 
Just by signing and losing a little blood accomplished:
 
Bankrupted a company that dumps raw waste into Santa Monica Bay.
 
Started a foster care program for kids whose parents have been killed by vampires.
 
We've done more good here in a month than Angel Investigations did in a year. Charles

Helpful Tips
 
  1. Don't go through middle men since they are usually clueless.
 
  2. No cash. No product.
 
  3. Ask to meet the big wig.
 
  4. Don't hog all the guns.
 
  5. Make sure everyone has a weapon before you go all 007.
 
  6. Practice using a gun so you can hit your target.
 
  7. When hiding hit the floor so you don't get hooked.
 
  8. Tell the boss who you plan to take with you since it's only polite to clear it with him first.
 
  9. Some protective gear wouldn't be a bad idea like a bullet proof vest perhaps.
 
10. Remember that some memories are your's alone so don't be so hard on the guy since he doesn't remember what he did and after all he did it for the right reasons he just didn't do it in the right way.
 
11. Don't mention having sex with a robot since it's just not the best thing in the world to reveal since your secret will be out.
 
12. Some people are just not comfortable with the whole hugging thing.
 
13. Trace radiation can mean a bomb or a self destructive device.
 
14. If you're a spook you don't have to leave the building if there's a bomb scare.
 
15. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
 
16. Sometimes the lights just go out. It doesn't mean that you're being pulled into Hell.
 
17. Attack priority only goes when you're fencing.
 
18. A sign that something is wrong is if your father who doesn't miss an opportunity to put you down actually asks for your opinion.
 
19. Spike is able to punch someone if he concentrates hard enough to make contact which is big news when it comes to a spook.
 
20. Losing your free will makes you nauseous but it's only temporary once your will has been restored.
 
21. Mentioning the whole killing thing upon becoming a vampire isn't a good idea although the intent was to help it just doesn't help when it's a human that killed his father even though it turned out to be a robot although it was a sweet thought.

Helpful Tips
 
1. A nooner is needed especially if a bloke has been incorporeal for quite some time and it's with his ditzy ex.
 
2. If someone starts bleeding tears clock them in the coconut before they do the same to you or most likely much worse.
 
3. A Code Black means that the building is being sealed off so no one can leave or come in.
 
4. A howling abyss is a horrible sound and should be avoided at all costs.
 
5. Don't finger the robots because you don't know what may happen as a result.
 
Prophecies
 
A translation of a prophecy is like comparing the King James Bible with the original Aremaic or Hebrew.
 
Most of the flavor and subtlety of usage, historical context has been stripped away.
 
Bogus Shanshu Prophecy
 
The root of the tree will split in two and each then will seek nourishment from the buried river. Storm unleashed the balance will falter until the vampire with a soul drinks from the Cup of Perpetual Torment. He will have the weight of worlds upon him binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation or destroys it. The vampire will have his past washed clean and live again in mortal form. There is not wrong the drinking of the cup is predestined. That can't be changed. Whoever drinks from it was meant to. And when one is confirmed as the central figure of the prophecy the universe should realign itself. Housed in the hidden city of Petra. Disappears during the Crusades. Surfaces again in the Vatican. Vanishes in the third year of the Inquisition. It's in Nevada. Death Valley to be exact. The earth will flash and mark the appearance of the cup at the columns and the desert will swallow cup and house whole. And the fat lady will sing them all.

The New And Improved Wolfram & Hart
 
Welcome to the LA branch of Wolfram & Hart the oldest and most powerful law firm in the city. Founded in 1771 deconsecrated by the blood of mass murderer Mafias McVane. Wolfram & Hart has put roots down in this glamorous city that grow deep and branches that reach right into the heart of every major corporation including Yo Yo Dine, Weiland Yotani and News Court. That captain of industry we own his soul. That fabulous movie queen she owes us her first born. But times change and Wolfram & Hart is changing right along with them. Under our new CEO Angel we're focusing less on power and more on using their power for good. We have a zero tolerance policy for killing that and includes you mister. Yes our esteemed president has made it clear. This is a new company for the new millennium and he wants to work with you. If you don't kill we won't kill you. That's right no more employee sacrifices. At Wolfram & Hart you're part of the family now. You can work your way up the ladder and there'll always be a hand to help you up it. Every life and unlife is as important to our new management as their own. So go ahead relax and enjoy your new Wolfram & Hart family because at our firm everyone matters. You matter. Buddy you're going places.

Random Blood Tests For Human Blood
 
Little gadget that pricks the finger that knows if you've drunk human blood so beware and stick to the pig's blood.
 
Rules
 
  1. Nobody in this office gets away with murder not anymore.
 
  2. The hardest part of the job is terminating an employee to save corporate American from evil.
 
  3. Don't speak a language you don't have the hang of or you just might say, "Be disemboweled!" which isn't very good when you're trying to work out peace between warring demon clans.
 
  4. Employees who are evil beware! Remember that Eli in Accounting was beheaded due to the fact that he was dismembering virgins for his own amusement.
 
  5. To avoid a nasty stain when terminating an employee lay down some plastic first.
 
  6. Don't knock out employees and lock them in the closet go to someone for help with your situation since it might be something that can be worked out much easier and less painful for those who are suffering headaches.
 
  7. It's bad luck to get things going before we cough up a little eye for an eye action. If you don't have the actual killer a substitute in some instances can be acceptable like a vamp staking.
 
  8. Always do your homework there is a reason that they say knowledge is power after all.
 
  9. Sometimes throwing money around can solve problems but don't do it all the time.
 
10. Lose the alleged and save it for the court room.
 
11. When you need a whip go to Danny.
 
12. Think fast on your feet when the knowledge escapes you and just wing it since no one will likely notice if you know how to do it right.
 
13. When bad names are frowned upon call the person a bad person since it always works and puts your point across anyway.
 
14. Be careful when going in the White Room since you may end up getting knocked around by yourself.
 
15. Making a deal can really come back and bite you on the ass big time in the extremest sense of biting you on the ass.
 
Demon War
 
This is war two demon clans the Vinjees and the Sarbens they've been battling it out fir five generations. Way back when clans got along ok shared a few hundred miles of desert traded live stock and every partied together once in a while. Then a Vingee used the wrong fork at a Saraven bonding ceremony. The Sarbens took offense and they've been slaughtering each other ever since. They're pretty finicky about manners. But the clients ahve agreed to negotiate a truce here tomorrow. Demon Rights Activist by the name of Tobias Dupree got involved. He's liasion to both clans only guy in the world they all trust and he called us for help. The Vingee and the Sarbens are notoriously visicious. Why not let them wipe each other out? Hey I got no love for these guys but we manage to push through a peace the whole demon world's gonna know we got game. Obviously both clans are sensitive to the smallest slight. We don't dot an i or cross a t this whole thing can explode in our faces. 
 
Fred's Finds On Tobias Dupree
 
Significant postmortem battering. Suggest prior relationship with the victim. Consulting coroner puts time of deat at approximately 1:30 a.m. which...Bite marks are 17 milimiters apart. 6 mililmeters deep on the right side of the neck. The size and depth of the wound indicate a female vampire.

Lucian Drake
 
Preemptive strike before he and his followers go underground. Wes
 
Evil Warlock: The longer we wait the more powerful he becomes.
 
There are at least two initaties in his inner circle who would jump at the chance to overthrow him.
 
A evil warlock and a cult leader. He's got over a thosuand followers. We're pretty sure they sold most of their children down the Hades River in return for some serious demonic mojo. One more religious fring group stock piling weapons but in this case the weapons are black magicks of the most dangerous variety. Not so much stopping as redirecting their energies. See a cult this big has connections alliances if we can confront them directly it can be very bad for business. But if we eliminate their leader covertly. Then they spend the next billing cycle fighting among themselves to hack out the new pecking order.
 
Weapons In Space
 
THere is an orbital microwave cannon up there focused to the sattelites communication signals into a pinpoint beam. It can raise the temperature of the targeted area a 1000 degrees in less than five seconds.

Lawyer Talk
 
Yes I know but he wouldn't have pled no lo contendre if he knew about the exculpatory evidence being withheld by the prosecutor. Look, look set up a meeting with Judge Berton closed chambers. Well screw the D.A. he's the one trying to pull a fast one. Let him read about it in the paper.
 
Half the cases that cross our desk are settled out on the links before they ever make it to a trial. Charles
 
Nine holes instead of a jury of your peers. Just what the founding fathers had in mind. Fred
 
Well sometimes you got to work the system before it works you. Charles
 
Charles On Their Move
 
Look I know our move to Wolfram & Hart hasn't been all flowers and candy. But we've been able to do some serious good while we're here. Lives saved, disasters averted. With all our fingers and souls still attached. End of the day. I'm thinking we made the right choice.
 
Options Regarding Eve
 
1. Firing which is a generous one.
 
2. Keep her and limit her access.
 
It's not what I believe it's about the evidence. Charles
 
Charles On Eve
 
She's liasion to the Senior Partners. You don't get to be that without serious juice. Move against her without solid proof and it can end in a long bloody fight.
 
Plans For Eve
 
1. Restrict her access.
 
2. Keep a closer eye on her.
 
3. See what she's up to.
 
4. Play her like she's been playing us.
 
Finding A Killer
 
1. His name
 
2. His past
 
3. His whereabouts
 
4. Everything
 
5. Search our files.
 
6. Talk to our contacts.
 
7. Raise the dead if we have to.

Fred Tracking
 
He's been here. Picking up loads of trace signatures. Hair follicles, enzymes. and something blood but it's not his, it's..
 
Client: Greenley up on a charge of racketeering.
 
He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. And he's evil. What are the odds? Angel
 
Wes With The Knowledge
 
Five holy women. This wasn't random. It's ritual. These jump dimensions. Also not shockingly our client practices black arts. He's escaped through a pandimensional doorway. Disappeared into any one of infinite universes.
 
Helpful Tips To Stop Clients That Butcher And Bail
 
1. Have your equipment calibrated to track stuff in and out of this dimension although it may take months it could come in handy to avoid more innocent people from getting butchered so they can escape and you won't be out another ten million bucks.
 
2. See about keeping the client confined in some way to avoid them leaving until the trial and don't be fooled if it's a somewhat minor crime compared to others since they might get desperate and butcher five nuns.
 
3. It sucks big time but sometimes the bad will wreak his havoc and you won't be able to stop it but do the best you can since that's all you can really do.
 
4. Remember how worse things would be if you weren't running the show and what kinds of horrors would be done if there weren't good people there to do what good they can.
 
5. At times you may want to quit but you can't since doing good is your destiny and you can't save everyone and besides there has to be a balance between good and evil since one can't exist without the other.
 
Angel's Fed Up
 
That's it. I can't do this anymore. Any of it this. Living with it. Running Wolfram & Hart. I quit.
 
I'm resigning. Set back Wes? Status quo. Evil wins. And instead of just wiping it out we negotiate with it or worse for it. Not that you aren't doing your jobs. It's that we shouldn't be doing these jobs in the first place or I shouldn't.
 
Gunn's Thoughts
 
Let's saw we've all had a bellyful. Any thought about what'll happen if we try to bye-bye. The ramifications I mean. You think the Senior Partners are just gonna let us breeze on out the front door. I'm saying we knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this gig. Let's not start pretending that this was some lease with an option to buy. Ok maybe I don't. It's 'cause I believe in what we're doing. We all got something out of this.
 
Glyphs
 
Protection runes dervied from the Enochian alphabet. Symbols some kind of concealment spell. Clouds before the all seeing eyes. They protect the bearer from being viewed remotely from higher powers, seers, mystics. Or, transposed to today any means of modern survelliance. They allow you to walk through without being seen by video cameras and security systems don't even know anyone is there which is seriously bad.
 
Code 7
 
It's a fail safe. They built a fail safe. Look the Senior Partners were never certain they could keep you under thier thumb, so they created a fail safe. Housed it in the sub-levels of the building. I don't know what it is exactly but it's huge and specifically designed to destroy you. (Angel) The only way to shut it down is in the chamber itself.
 
Setting Alarms Off
 
If you set off the alarms loud noise, red lights, and zombies looking to party are what you get.
 
The blue button shocks you so avoid pushing it.

Eve Report
 
Tactical swet her hangouts, and our locators ran through their usual voodoo. Each came back with the same result: Eve has vanished.
 
She did leave swearing vengeance. That usually doesn't go well for us. Wes
 
The Scheming Prince
 
Right about now Lindsey should be boiling in his own filth.
 
Now That's A Surprise
 
Oh, calling the patient before midnight on a Friday? Careful, gang we might get to have social lives.
 
Wes's Big Plans
 
Speak for yourself. I've got five or six hours of spell detailing to do.
 
Gunn's Big Plans
 
I've got a mess of briefings to go through.
 
Fred's Big Plans
 
I have to redo the Trask Experiment. Knox really dropped the ball on that one. So much for social lives.
 
Well, we should we at least meet here in a few hours and talk about some work some more? Angel
 
Lorne On The Sky Bar
 
Well I'm out of here. If we're working there's a client party down at Sky Bar with my name all over it. You been to Sky Bar lately? It's all frat boys and television executives.
 
We have enough work for tonight. Let's not worry about yesterday. Wes
 
Note: Improve security pronot to avoid more very unwanted guests.
 
This place might as well be a bus station. Angel

Fred Has A Case
 
Eleven children between the ages of five and eight hospitalized due to collapse over the last three weeks. None of them have woken up. I'm working under the assumption that this thing's mystical in nature.
 
It's a good idea to find out if there's some link between all of the victims like them all collapsing during the same TV show.
 
Children's Epidemic
 
Seven kids, comatose each with a semi-rictus of the facial muscles. I haven't been able to isolate a causitive agent. Well I've been down the strictly physiological route, number crunched all the victims charts. Even had our hospital contacts send over blood samples. I've pulled all their plasma apart. No indicators on the cellular or subcellular level.
 
Fred's Thoughts
 
Listen about the epidemic, might not be mystical. Knox found a systematic endocrine dsyfunction common with all the children similar to the effects of an obscure rain forest pathegen. So I put in a call to the C.D.C., and...
 
Your wish, Dream Boat my command. I know most of the show runners in town and none of them are really up to this sort of big league sinister... Lorne
 
Angel's Little Problem
 
I do not have puppet cancer! Come on guys this is a serious situation. I'm a puppet, and there are children's lives at...Hey it's Smile Time!
 
This tranformation may have altered your stress response mechanism. Wes
 
Translation
 
He's saying that you have the proportionate excitibility of a puppet your size. Gunn
 
Smile Time Creator
 
Gregor Framkin: Yeah real rags to riches started out in a garage with a couple of used couches and a glue gun. He turned it into a puppet gold mine.
 
Angel Means Business
 
Wes put the special ops team on Red Alert. I want helicopters and tear gas. This is war.

Losing It
 
Bit by bit he notices
Losing the knowledge
Upgrade going all wonky
Not wanting to lose it
Back to the doc he goes
Has been given meaning
Not just the muslce anymore
Ends up making a deal
To make things permanent
But it comes with a price
He's willing to pay
Not knowing what's to come
 
Gunn And Lorne Confronting Framkin
 
We're onto you. Understand? We're gonna shut you down. Well for starters violations of the provisions of section 5568C set forth in chapter 15 of the Children's TV Thing! You turned my boss into a frickin' puppet!
 
Yeah well a fight suits us just fine, Papa Smurf. We're gonna let the entire world know what you're up to. Lorne
 
The Answer
 
It's a hidden carrier masked by a spell that turns the TV into a two way conduit with direct access to the viewer. Fred
 
That's how he's been draining energy from the children, and judging from the stregth of yesterday's signal... Wes
 
Framkin's ready to take out the whole audience. Fred
 
The object that you described in that secret room is most likely a repository for the childrens life forces. We'll have to break the binding magick on it. Wes
 
Which should free those children and reverse your puppet problem. Fred
 
Evil Show
 
Not him. Them. Framkin's not doing this. It's the puppets. They're demons. The show is possessed. Smile Time's ratings hit an all time low last year. Framkin made a deal with some devils to bring it back to number one. Dead sure. Every contract signed with the lower planes is filed in the library of Demonic Congress. You just gotta know where to look. Pretty trick legalease too. Framkin must have missed some of the fine print. Which allowed them to take over everything including Framkin. These particular devils have a very distinctive M.O.. You see the last few seasons of Happy Days? Point is you wanna take out Smile Time, take out the puppets.

Wolfram & Hart Records
 
There's nothing that's not in our records, except what came before the Old Ones.
 
Charles Means Business
 
You're not hearing me. I know you got healers working for you. I don't care if the Old Ones scare them. I don't care if the Old Ones kill them. Get their asses down here or you're gonna be in a world of hurt. No I am not talking about a lawsuit. I'm talking about bones that go crunch.
 
Not a telporter: No characteristic displacement of the atmosphere around here.
 
The Sarcophagus
 
The Gem: Time. The markings refer to a series of consively time intervals. This gem is a focal point to the sarcophagus. It might be useful if isn't already drained.
 
Gunn's Big Regrets
 
Then take it back. Everything you put in my head the law, all the knowledge, take it back. Take more leave me a vegetable. I don't care just bring her back. Please bring her back.
 
Dr Evil
 
There's nothing to bring back. Miss Burkle's soul was consumed by the fires of resurrection. Everything she was is gone forever.
 
A Piece Of Paper
 
It was just a paper. I was losing it everything they put in my head. Everything that made me different, special. And he could fix it make it permanent so I signed a piece of paper. It was a customs release form. I didn't think anyone would get hurt. I couldn't go back to being just the musle. I didn't think it would be one of us. I didn't think it would be Fred.
 
The Gateway: Wolfram & Har threw a lock over the gateway. They're big on things happening on their time table.
 
Wolfram & Hart in Illyria's time they were weak barely above the vampire.
 
Nothing from Wolfram & Hart is free. Wes
 
Provisio on Contract: The CEO of a Wolfram & Hart branch can invoke Rapio O Salvas order basically says you're taking custody of an employee. It's not usually used for protection but it should work.
 
Eve On Wolfram & Hart And What She Is
 
There are layers upon layers at Wolfram & Hart Angel things you'll never understand. What am I? I'm a child of the Senior Partners created to do their bidding. To watch, tell them what I see, pass on messages to you if there are any.
 
Wolfram & Hart Holding Dimension
 
Their version of a penalty box that they put people they are unsure to do with. Take the Camaro which will drive you there. You have to find the wrath to get out.
 
This isn't Hell it's the burbs close enough. Spike
 
It consists of the same thing happening over and over again. You have a wife and a kid. You go outside to pick up your paper and wave at the neighbors, before walking inside you pick up your son's skateboard, inside you do some homework with your son and then your wife asks you to get a lightbulb in the cellar which of course wigs you out, each day your heart is ripped out by an ugly ass S&M demon so you have quite the collection piling up on the floor. You wear a necklace so you have no idea who you really are and where you are. If you go in for someone you have to leave someone behind and when that person starts to forget the door will close.

Marcus Clears The Air
 
Let's be clear on this things run differently now. I'm no little girl. You and I won't be making love on this couch any time soon. Now with that in mind how can I help you?
 
The Deal
 
Yes you did. They took your son, your raging psychotic son gave him a new family, changed his memories, changed everyones memories actually in order to give him a new life a normal life. We couldn't be happier. The Senior Partners honor their deals and believe me they have no desire to upset such a profitable partnership.
 
Wes Observes Illyria
 
She's either counting oxygen molecules or analyzing the petrie dish she just put into her mouth or sleeping I can never quite tell which.
 
What To Do Regarding Illyria
 
1. Test her powers.
 
2. Study her.
 
3. Figure out what she is.
 
Spike's Data On Illyria
 
Glad you asked so far I've established that she can hit like a mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time, and uh possibly taunt the plants.
 
Cybersvale: One of the go to warlocks when it came to the magickal mojo specializes in memory restructuring, mind control, temporal shifts.
 
Built Memories
 
When Connor was fine he got lost in a department store. He wandered off while his family was shopping. It scared the poor child nearly half to death. Yes but he remembers it happening. He remembers screaming in the middle of the store. He remembers his mother rushing towards him. And he remembers his father sweeping him up into his arms. I did. He is some of my finest work.
 
Olan Window: It's a fascinating little spell. It allows you to see the past as it once was. You have to be careful with it though. If it were to brak around someone whose mind had been altered then all his old memories would come rushing back.
 
Wes On Illyria's Progress
 
She has the power of a God. She ahs the ego of a God. She was ruler of the world after all this sort of thing goes to one's head.
 
I am making progress there's distance of course she'd never accept any of us as peers but I afford her some amusement at the very least. It may be why she's here. I wouldn't presume to know what she wants but I understand the resource the power she represents. If we could just find some way to integrate her to convince her to...
 
Spike Knows The Diff
 
You ain't her. I can see it. Lord knows I can smell it and I got no problem hitting it.
 
That time stop thing's a royal bitch but I'm starting to cess out her million year old moves cheeky mix a little Tae Know Doe, little Brazillian na jitz zu ancestorally speaking.
 
The Apocalypse
 
The thousand year war of good vs evil is well under way. Evil just hasn't told anyone about it yet which is probably why they're winning. Oh by the way we're apparently on the wrong side or the right side if you like winning.
 
Ever heard of the term appointment? Angel
 
Surgical Strike
 
Illyria destroyed elven torture units before she found your man, two troop carriers, ice cream truck, and eight beautifully maintained lawns not to mention dozens of employees rendered useless to the company. Oh we will. The damages are coming directly out of this division's profits. Congratulations in one swift stroke you've gone from leader of the pack to staggering at the rear. Angel you're a motivated go getter at the top of the corporate ladder why don't you figure out what comes after.

Demon Pact With Amanda
 
They found me. They said that they had these seer people, people who told them that my baby was some kind of holy one. They said it was a prophecy. Well they're really religious. I mean their religion not the God one but they've been really supportive. They're always bring me special shakes and vitamins. Open about being demons
 
Any demonic pact should be entered into with caution. They can be riddled with obscure clauses and double talk. Charles
 
Amanda's Sitch
 
Listen I've had this talk before belive me. I know it sounds bad giving up your unborn baby to a supernatural cult but see they're entire nation belives my child is their next you know like the Dali Lama. They're gonna worship him. He'll be cared for better than we could ever and he'll be someone. Somebody important. We'd never be able to give him that. Mr Gunn we can't afford this baby. My husband he was hurt at work brain damage doctors say incurable. We're scrapping by on food stamps and disability. But the Brethren they say they can make him whole again. Make him remember who I am. I mean how does a person turn all that down?
 
The Thell Brethen leader makes Jim Jones look like a Sunday school teacher. Charles
 
Marcus On Illyria
 
Illyria and the Partners go way back. They don't want her here. They don't want her anywhere at all. But they consider this to be your problem so have a nice fight.
 
Gordabock: The child will be pampered, worshipped, and fed a holy diet of berries, panda meat and urine (consecrated urine of course). And on the eve of his 13th year he will be prepared for the Rites of Gordabok. It's a ritual sacrifice.
 
Wes On Illyria's Condition
 
She is unstable overloading to be more accurate. The fusion between her demon essence and her host's body seem to be deteriorating. It's as if the human part of her can no longer contain the demonic pwer within. She's gonna self destruct violently and soon. The good news is that the crack in her engine block may give us a chance to get to her. This is a mutiree generator. It creates a pinhole to an infinite extradimensional space a negatively charged pocket universe that should draw her radiant essence, her power into itself by process of...
 
Gunn On A Delicate Matter
 
It's not garbage it's a body and there's a bloody gang war coming our way if we don't get it back. It's the remains of the Cappa De Familia of the Goran Demon Clan. That's 'cause the Cappa was human tolerant kept a low profile more interested in profit than mayhem. Died on a business trip in Italy. We need to go there retrieve his body, and return it to his family in the next ooh twenty-six hours.
 
Or what he gets deader? Spike
 
No he stays dead. They die. They pupate. They live again. But only if the proper rituals are performed by the immediate family. If the Cappas body isn't returned in time the rituals won't take so long Cappa hellow power vaccum.  Rival Clans they aren't as tolerant of humans. If we do this it all stays cool.
 
The Immortal
 
The foulest evil Hell has a property for. He's also very territorial. The vilest wretch this side of Mt Everest which he's climbed several times. When you're dealing with him you get a satisfactory outcome. He doesn't do spells. He considers them dirty, dirty tricks for dirty people. He is a stallion in the sack and can easily get girls to agree to a threesome for instance Dru and Darla although they turned down Angelus and William. Also he wrote a book that's supposed to be a life changer.

Wes's Report On Illyria
 
She's overcompensating, posturing. Her powers are weakend but she's still unpredictable. Perhaps more so unstil she learns how to adjust. We have to be careful not to agitate her.
 
Wolfram & Hart has an office in Rome that looks identical to the one in LA.
 
CEO: Yolana Seeskiblanki
 
Italian Wesley likes the napping.

Rome is supposed to be civilized where kidnappings happen and ransoms get paid leading to everyone going home hapy.
 
The CEO thinks Spike is the very meaning of handsome and hey who'd disagree that can actually see with their eyes.
 
The CEO believes gypsies are filthy people that she will speak of no more along with the spitting.
 
Brute force will only get your precious heads smooshed. Yolana
 
Sometimes you have to put your faith in a higher power. Yolana

Client: From the days of Holland Manners. Senator
 
Believes in diversity among employees so vamps are among her employees.
 
 Assistant: Ernest who prefers virgin blood
 
Wes With A Case
 
There's been another fatality in Funnville. That abandoned amusement park downtown. Third victim in as many nights teeth marks strong indicate a Boritz demon. This last victim was a teenage girl a runaway she was ripped apart.
 
The Competition
 
A Gulf War veteran and bronze star recipient. Mike Conley believes ethics and integrity matter. Finding solutions to problems in our educational system, health and child care services. And Mike Conley believes in work and in home. Your home is his work. He's looking out for your childrens interests.
 
Senator Bitch
 
I had a lock on the chick vote. I didn't claw my way up from Hell and get installed in a human body just to have some pedophile steal my senate seat. Not yet but the public better think he is when you guys get through. Hell convince Conley you got some kind of brainwashing capabilities don't you.
 
Angel On Business
 
Do I really have to explain this to you people? We're in the business of business oil, software, worldwide wickets, the product doesn't matter it's the game that matters. Get to the top be the best, have the most, win. You're still missint the point. Of if I was Angelus half of you would already be dead just for the fun of it. You wanna know the know the truth is there's only one of us who ever understood how things really work.

Angel On Cordy's Gift
 
With a kiss though it didn't hit me till later that night. One shot deal. She put me on the path showed me where the real powers are. But I couldn't see who they were. And then Fred died and then and I wasn't gonna let that be another random horrible even in another random horrible world. So I decided to use it to make her death matter and it worked. I'm in. I've seen the faces of evil. I know who the real powers in the apocalypse are. Well that's true. They were a machine and that machine's gonna be here long after our bodies are dust. But the Senior Partners will always exist in one form or another because mankind is weak. We are weak. The powerful control everything. Except our will to choose. Look Lindsey's a pathetic halfwit but he was right about one thing. Heroes don't accept the way the world is. The Senior Partners may be eternal but we can make their existence painful. They're the machine and the Black Thorn runs it. We can bring their gears to a grinding halt even if it's just for a moment. This isn't a keep fighting the good fight kind of deal let's be clear. I'm talking about killing every single member of the Black Thorn. We don't walk away from that. We do this the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They'll make an example of us. I'm talking full on Hell not the basic brimstone kind we're used to. No you don't. Ten to one we're gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can't bring down the Senior Parnters but for one bright shining moment we can show them that they don't own us. You need to decide for yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this. Can't do it without ya. So we'll vote as a team. Think about what I'm asking you to do. Think about what I'm asking you to give.
 
Spike: Kill e'm all. Burn the house down while we're still in it. 

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