2001-2002
Entry One
Dear Diary
Well I'm writing on paper now. I just traded in one cave for another.
No more writing on walls for me unless it's really important and there isn't any paper lying around to get it down. It is
hard to get used to being back since it seems like I'm in a dream. One of these mornings I think I'll wake up only to find
that I'm still in Pylea hiding out in that cave. It is so great of Angel to let me live at his hotel. Well it's not like he
doesn't have plenty of room. So many rooms and now one is my home. It is so great to be back where I'm not a slave with a
collar around my neck and a sack for a dress. It's nice to have people to talk to. I've been getting out and I had the best
time with Angel at the movies. This time went a lot better because there were no guys threatening to kill us. I will never
get sick of tacos. In fact I want to pinch myself when I eat them since there's a chance they could turn into bark. I don't
know if I'll ever get used to being back since it could all go away. I may wake up back in that cave and discover that this
has all been a dream.
Entry Two
Dear Diary
So Angel has a gypsy curse and the girl he loves and thought was dead
turns out to be not dead. It's really sad when you think about it. He loves this girl and can never be with her. It's just
so tragic. Love isn't all that it's cracked up to be since it leads to pain and loneliness. I'm glad that the whole bodies
being turned into mush bones was stopped and Angel was put back where he belongs. So it wasn't really him that hurt me like
that. I've run out of room on the walls which is a good thing since I shouldn't be writing on the walls anyhow. I know that
I did it for so long when I was in that cave that it became sort of comforting and it was so familiar for so long.
Entry Three
Dear Diary
It was good to see my parents although I flipped out there for a while.
It's just been hard adjusting to life after being trapped in that hellish place. Well my walls are empty now of words and
have fresh paint on them. I'm turning it into a place to live instead of a place to hide which the cave was so I'm gonna make
it homey. I've figured out that I belong here and the others want me here even though I'm such a goon bird. My invention worked
and I got there just in time to use it since the others weren't sure what it was. They thought it might be a toaster which
isn't such a bad idea really. Weapons that allow you to make snacks in case you get hungry before the baddies come along.
I'll probably have nightmares for a good long while. I ran out because I was hoping that those fives years were just some
bad dream but they weren't. The good thing is that I'm back in LA and I'm no longer a slave or a runnaway. I just need to
take little steps. I'm doing pretty well since I'm able to go out by myself so that's good. This is so exciting to be part
of something so important.
Entry Four
Dear Diary
Since Wesley didn't return my calls I went to see him since he needs
to come back to work. He totally blames himself which shows just what a good man he is. It just saddened me to hear him cry
like that. I'm certain he'll be back tomorrow. We all needed a break after that Billy thing. He won't be bothering anyone
anymore. I'm just glad that Wesley wasn't hurt too badly. Charles is fine too though his head was hurting there for a while
and he needed some aspirin but he's as good as new. He was really something how he was trying to get me to hit him so he wouldn't
hurt me. Well I'm gonna eat tacos every day for the rest of my life and never get sick of 'em. It sure beats bark. I'm finally
settling down since I'm not all jumpy and sitting under tables like I was. I'm finally accepting that this is real and I'm
home with a place and with a purpose.
Entry Five
Dear Diary
Now that's something I never thought I'd see a pregnant vampire. That
Darla is pretty darn scary so no worries about me getting anywhere near her. I looked at that chart Charles told me about.
Pretty wild stuff with her being staked and brought back as human only to be dying and being turned back by her granddaughter.
That is a lot to wrap your head around. So it looks like Angel may get a chance at what he's been deprived of for centuries
unless it's something evil but the child is alive and has a soul which is a good sign I hope. Well it's certainly never boring
around here. It must be so amazing to have lived so long and seen all the changes that have taken place over the years and
decades and centuries. So many changes he has experienced over his very long life. It also has a downside because you see
people you care about grow old and die unless of course your turn all those you love into vampires. I would imagine that would
hurt what with the sharp teeth and all.
Entry Six
Dear Diary
Now that was tragic and beautiful all at the same time. I can't even
say words at what happened since Darla staked herself to save her child. And of course that Holtz guy from two centuries ago
with a crossbow was no laughing matter. I wonder why he let Angel go if he was that desperate for revenge. I mean he did try
to kill us all when we were at Caritas. It was a boy and a human one at that. His name is Connor. He's like the belle of the
ball since we all want to get snugggley time. I found a great bakery to make Cordy a cake for her birthday. I just love surprises
and cakes of course which I haven't had in ages. I can't even remember the last time I had some. We should have a little fun
among the carnage.
Entry Seven
Dear Diary
We got some awful news and on Cordy's birthday too. She's been hiding
just how badly the visions have been affecting her. Such a true champion to suffer in silence and keep on going even though
it was killing her. She is truly brave and strong to have lasted this long. Now she has a little demon in her so now the visions
are a piece of cake and won't kill her. That cake was so delicous that I'm going for another slice even though it'll be my
fourth. Well I can't let it go to waste and Angel won't eat it since he doesn't really eat since he's more of a drinker.
So everything is right as rain whatever that means. There are some really strange sayings out there.
Entry Eight
Dear Diary
That was too close. My head is still attached to my body which I am
very grateful for. We really should be careful about what clients we take on. We did earn that money though. So the site is
up and the clients are coming our way. Wesley and Charles showed up just in time. Those weird things were like garbage cans.
I really enjoy spending time with Charles. I feel so comfortable around him. He's so sweet and very brave. Maybe I'll ask
Cordy for some advice since she's smart about stuff like that. I think he might be interested but I'm not sure and I don't
want to make a big fool of myself. Five years in a cave didn't exactly help with how to act when you're with a guy. For all
I know he thinks I'm a total dork and is just being nice.
Entry Nine
Dear Diary
What an evening this has been. We go to the ballet and of course it
wasn't a normal one what with the girl being trapped and forced to dance for over a century the same thing over and over again.
The spell has been broken but there was good in this evening. Me and Charles kissed. He likes me he really likes me and doesn't
think that I'm a dork after all. That was a surprise to have Groo show up like that since I've always thought that Cordy and
Angel belong together since they have such moira. I guess you never know when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm just so
excited about Charles since he's so wonderful. Breakfast tomorrow is going to be different what with the kissing. I just can't
wait to see if we kiss again. What am I going to wear? I'm just being really silly since he likes me not what I'm wearing
after all.
Entry Ten
Dear Diary
I guess I won't be looking at a tree without wondering if it's gonna
suck me down into the ground. Angel was great because he allowed himself to be impaled to save us not to mention Groo. I think
Angel's feeling a bit out of sorts what with Groo coming and wearing his clothes. That had to be one of the strangest demons
ever and how did it get that computer anyway? It was a really good one. It is so wonderful to see Angel with his son. At least
he has one of those things he never thought he'd have. I guess it's too much to want it all. You just have to be greatful
for what you got and I have more than I ever thought was possible. I never thought I'd escape that cave and that nightmarish
place. That was so sweet of Angel to let Cordy go on a vacation with Groo. It's funny how things have changed over this past
year. I'm actually home and I won't wake up and find it all gone. I haven't had a nightmare in a really long time and Charles
is a big part of the reason why.
Entry Eleven
Dear Diary
It was go great to hear Charles call me his girl. I'm his girl and
that makes me happy beyond words. He'd even choose me over working with Wesley but I don't want that to happen. All of us
are a team although we could continue on our own if we had to. It just wouldn't be the same. I'm just glad that I wasn't alone
during that earthquake which can't be good since they tend to be followed by something bad and there's the prophecy Wesley's
been working on. It's gonna be a bumpy road but I have Charles to help me through the rough patches.
Entry Twelve
Dear Diary
Well Angel didn't kill Wesley although I can understand why he'd want
to. This was the only child Angel will ever have and now he's gone. I'm just angry about the whole thing. Wesley should have
told someone about this. I wish Cordy would come back but I know Angel doesn't want to bother her but he needs her so much
right now. Angel just sits in that room all alone which is so sad and none of us know how to help since we can't get the baby
back for him. I shudder to think what that Quor-toth place is like for an innocent baby. I think I'll gather up Wesley's stuff
and go to him since he should know that the prophecy was a total fake. I understand why he did it but this is his fault for
not trusting his friends.
Entry Thirteen
Dear Diary
That was such a sweet couple. They've been married for three centuries
and are still totally in love. It's such a beautiful thing. It's nice to see that especially with the way things have been
like around here. I warned Wesley to stay away since I'm sure Angel would probably kill him. I'm glad that Cordy is back since
she has that special connection with Angel. It's been pretty slow around here which is good since this is a time to take it
easy and deal with what's happened. I do feel a bit guilty because I'm so happy with Charles. The thing about happiness is
that it can get pulled out from under you like a rug.
Entry Fourteen
Dear Diary
Whew that mess is finally over. Charles broke up with me to protect
me. I just knew it had to be that even though the others weren't so sure. It's just so odd that he sold his soul for a truck
and it doesn't even have air. He figured he had no use for it but now he knows better which is great since his soul is priceless.
In a way this was a good thing because it got Angel back to doing what he does best which is helping people. As painful as
it must be he needs to go on with his life and for a really long while it's gonna be tough but it's supposed to get better
with time. I wonder who said that first since it's so dumb since that's the last thing you want to hear at the time. So Charles
and I are just fine and the making up part was really fun. Well we watched the sunrise well sort of because most of the time
we were smooching.
Entry Fifteen
Dear Diary
I'm gonna talk to Cordy about Wesley. Maybe she can talk to Angel
about it. Ok maybe Angel won't forgive him but Wesley shouldn't be alone right now. He was only doing what he thought was
right. Yes it was totally wrong and all but he only did it because he cared. I don't know. Something has to be some but I
don't know what. It's just that he was the brains of the operation and with him gone that would make me the brains and I'm
not sure if I can deal with that. Things are just so confusing right now and I feel a bit torn in two different directions.
I'm not even sure if I should stick my nose into this but I do care and I can't just sit back and do nothing.
Entry Sixteen
Dear Diary
Well I didn't turn into a huge pile of sand like Phil Spivey from
Inglewood did. So this is a harsh lesson on avoiding black magick at all costs. It's a big no no since it comes with a price
that does bite you on the ass but sometimes a person feels it's worth the risk. Maybe Cordy and Charles are right about the
Wes thing. He made the decision and it backfired big time. Maybe in time but it's not my choice since it wasn't my child that
was stolen so I don't really know how that felt. That was pretty scary to have that thing take up residence in my body. Wow
Cordy went all glowy and killed all those nasty critters. Now that wasn't a family reunion a person would want. That was totally
unexpected to have Connor show up all grown up like that when he was just a baby a short time ago. I'm sure that Angel will
find him and they'll have a chance to talk without the fighting. It must be strange for him after living in Hell all that
time since it was longer for him obviously. But it's great that he's back. I just love Charles for going to Wes to help save
me. It sounds like things didn't go too well. Maybe in time who knows since I don't but my fingers are crossed.
Entry Seventeen
Dear Diary
Well that ended well. Things were up in the air when Connor ran off
like that but he came back oh yeah I mean Steven since that's the name he goes by. It's gonna take a bit getting used to the
new name. I didn't think he'd have such good hearing. I guess with two vampires as parents you end up with excellent hearing.
I'm glad that Holtz left because he's scary. It's a shame that Lorne is leaving but I can't really blame him because Connor
I mean Steven isn't too fond of demons even the good ones. I'm gonna miss him and his singing. I think I can help with Steven
since I have an idea of what he went through. Things must be so strange for him since he can't remember living here with us.
I'm planning a picnic for me and Charles. We deserve a little alone time and since there aren't any clients this would be
a good time to hit the beach. A blanket spread out on the sand under the shade of one of those giant umbrella's with the ocean
and the crashing waves. I'll get all our favorites and it'll be great. A little play time among the other benefits of being
alone. I think I'm actually blushing at the thoughts that are popping into my head. So I need to splash some water on my face
and then I'm off to get our food.