Shades Of Cordelia

Warrior Babes The Second

Shades Of Cordelia

Meeting Buffy

Hi I'm Cordelia. If you're looking for a textbook of your very own there's probably a few in the library. I'll show you around come on. So you're from Hemery right in LA? Oh I would kill to live in LA that close to that many shoes.

Cool Factor

You'll be ok here if you hang with me and mine you'll be accepted in no time. Of course we do have to test your coolness factor. You're from LA so you can skip the written but let's see Vamp nail polish? So over. James Spader? (He so needs to call me.) Frapacinnos? (Trendy but tasty.) John Tesh? (The Devil.) That was pretty much a gimmee but you pass.

Fashion

Willow nice dress. Good to know you've seen the softer side of Sears. No wonder you're such a guy magnet.

Fitting In

You wanna fit in here the first rule is: know your losers. Once you can identify them all by sight they're a lot easier to avoid. And if you're not too swamped with catching up you should come by the Bronze tonight. The Bronze it's the only club worth going to around here. They let anybody in but it's still the scene.

Helpful

I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Fost the woman with the chest hair because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker.

Totally dead. Way dead.

Regarding Xander

Don't you have an elsewhere to be?

Eew

Morbid much? I didn't ask.

Uncool

My Mom doesn't even get out of bed anymore and the doctor says it's Epstein Barr. I'm like please it's Chronic Hepatitis or at least Chronic Fatique Syndrome. I mean nobody cool has Epstein Barr anymore

Stick Attack

God. What is your childhood trauma?

Excuse me I have to call everyone I've ever met right now.

No we're going to the other cool place in Sunnydale. Of course we're going to the Bronze. Friday night. No cover.

Psycho Looney

But you should've been there last night. 'Cause I ran into Buffy, and could she be any weirder? She attacked me! Do you believe it?

Why do we have to devise these programs? Isn't that what nerds are for?

So anyway, I come out of the bathroom and she comes running at me, screaming with a stick. I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you! I swear! Buffy, well, she's crazed. Well I exhibit no surprise.

I'm Better Than You

Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist? Do I horn in on your private discussions? No, why? Because your boring.

Boys

Senior boys are the only way to go. The guys from our grade? Forget about it. They're children, you know? Like Jesse, did you see him last night, following me around like a little puppy dog? You just want to put him to sleep. But senior boys? Rowf! They have mystery. They have what's the word I'm searching for? Cars. I'm not the type to settle, you know? It's like when I go shopping. I have to have the most expensive thing, not because it's expensive, but because it costs more.

Interrupting

Hello! Miss Motor Mouth can I get a sentence finished?

One dance to the lame loser just to prove how humanitarian I am. Besides it's all dark so I'm unlikely to be seen.

Her Spin

Well, I heard it was rival gangs, you know, fighting for turf, but all I can tell you is they were an ugly way of looking. And, Buffy like knew them which is just too weird. I mean I don't even remember that much, but I'm telling you, it was a freak show. You shouldv'e been there. It was so creepy.

Enough with the hyperbole after all sometimes being on fire actually means just that.

A girl set on fire during tryouts take you one step closer to my inevitable.

Dream

I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad adored by every varsity male as far as the eye can see. We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we wither and die. Shh! If your supreme klutziness out there today takes me out of the running, you're going to be so every beyond sorry. Have a nice day.

You shouldn't drive when you're getting a case of not being able to see since that way lies badness.

Hey I'm really sorry you guys got bumped back to alternate. Hold it. Wait. No, I'm not. Ooh those grapes are sorry.

Bump With The Hip

Knock the other girl's tray out of her hands and claim the empty seat by the cute Owen.

Not all plans turn out quite right.

Take advantage of a certain someone horning in when she doesn't turn up because she obviously knows she can't compete.

What a disgusting display. Is that really appropriate behavior in a public forum. I mean, I've never seen a girl throw herself at a guy like that.

Seeing Angel For The First Time

Ooh. Hello Salty Goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after all I'm through with him.

Flourescent Lights

I didn't think yearbook nerds came out of hibernation till Spring.

Fruit Or Vegetable

Hi. Sorry to interrupt your little undead playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project.

I wouldv'e asked Chris to help me but then that would have brought back too many memories of Daryl. Of course, I have learned to deal with my pain. Hello. Can we deal with my pain please?

So a tomato is a fruit well that's done.

Why is it that every conversation you have has the word corpse in it?

Darn I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were going to be digging up dead people sooner. I would've cancelled.

I'm Back

Yeah. That chick's in rough shape. You'd think they'd give Miss One Foot In The Grave a private room. Which brings me to hey couldn't you stick me someplace that smells a little less like amnoia soaked death?

A Mystical Coma

Oh yes you do. I'm a vision of hottliness. How weird is that? You know if you can stand the horror of a higher power hijiacking your mind and body so that it can give birth to itself really recommend them. Last year. Yeah. I remember everything pretty much. At least until I slipped into Slumberland. Maternal instincts aside I hope you kicked its ass for me.

Pay Attention

And you know something when higher powers send you coma visions you better pay attention.

The Low Gets Lower

So you two are groin buddies? And I thought Darla was rock bottom.

Sleeping Not

Oh no sleep for me I slept enough for one lifetime.

Doyle

First soldier down. Doyle pissed me off so righteously going out like that, but he knew. Knew what he had to do. Didnd't compromise. Used his last breath to make sure you'd keep fighting I get that now.

Bizarro Much

Spike's a hero and you're CEO of Hell Incorporated. What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in? I naturally assumed that you'd be lost without me. But this? You just forgot who you are.

Who Angel Was

I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was let's face it a not small portion of time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in that um the guy I knew.

Oops I almost slipped with something that should be left unsaid.

Dumb Idea

Remember how I said, let's not have your department looking for these symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me cracking the books? Well that was dumb.

Didn't Miss This

Ok this part I didn't miss cryptic poetry.

Bleached Blonde Wonder

Heard you weren't evil anymore which kind of makes the hair silly.

Excuse me who bit who?

Let's go Lilah Junior.

I Mean Business

Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks. Which are stunning by the way.

Wow that girl may be evil and all but those are some great shoes.

No One Tells Me What To Do

Yeah, save it Angel. You can order me around all you want, but I know my rights. And I wanna see a lawyer.

I can't say that I'm all that surprised that the Golden Boy has returned for some payback.

Goodbye Lilah Junior

It's really been a pleasure. Let's not keep in touch.

As odd as this sounds I think I might have preferred Lilah to this junior version.

You Are Someone Too

Boy I really fall for dumb ones. Well you made the list gorgeous and you needed some help.

One last kiss before I go which will be all I ever get but it's something.