Warrior Babes The Second

Morgue

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Most pretty girls that turn up in the morgue are dead.
 
Forensic Attendant
 
1. Retrieves the body.
 
2. Weighs it.
 
3. Measures it.
 
4. Attatch the toe tag.
 
5. Charts the vitals.
 
6. Checks the standards: head hair, pubic hair, nail clippings.
 
7. Put the body in storage.
 
It's called the Crypt. It's where every unnatural death in the city comes to rest waiting for an autopsy. Davis
 
Take a peek inside you know you want to.
 
Working in the morgue for the graveyard shift is ironic but it'll look good to the medical schools.
 
Thirty-two dead bodies still makes you all alone not to mention a little on edge especially when one of them talks to you.
 
If you hear something coming from the crypt go for the latest  addition.
 
If the dead body isn't there she's not dead yet.
 
Let me get this straight in the eight hours since you've started working here you've decided to solve all the cases very ambitious. You know what I did today I bought socks. Davis
 
Working in a morgue kinda cuts into the post college slacking off.
 
Nothing impresses the boss like showing up on time.
 
There's always another body ready to go to the morgue.
 
Don't shake hands when you're gloved and bloody.
 
The morgue might not be Party Central but things will pick up.
 
Working in a morgue is kinda dead.
 
A year with a low death rate should be a good thing but the years following going up like a skyrocket makes it bad.
 
There's nothing more brutal than seeing a dead child.
 
Sometimes the job chooses you.
 
Some girls just wanna learn so a lot of questions are asked.
 
We're all someplace for a reason just sometimes we need to accept what that reason is. Davis
 
Not that I'm not cool with the whole concept of corpses speaking to me but if you're gonna ask for my help now would be the time. Tru
 
Always make sure there's a vacancy where the dead guy was before.
 
4
 
Some people belong in the morgue and others don't.
 
I've seen a lot of strange things here very little shocks me. Davis
 
Surprise picking up dead bodies is part of the job description although it should have been mentioned when the job started.
 
First Dead Body Advice: Don't think so much.
 
I memorize everything I can if they ask for help I lose the body and the evidence. The only thing I can go on is what I remember. Tru
 
After thirty-nine days at the morgue you should take the day off.
 
Forensic Simulator Program: It helps investigators recreate a crime scene that has been tampered with or destroyed. It can give you height, weight, sex but it takes a few hours.
 
A job at a morgue is not only easy but can also lead to sucking big time.
 
Not as creepy as I'd thought it'd be. Meredith
 
When symptoms set in like shortness of breath and sweating that means the person is running out of time.
 
Don't let in a guy with a murder victim because he might be trying to remove evidence which could lead to a whole world of trouble because desperation can drive a person to murder.
 
If the hospital is too far away go to the morgue.
 
I can't work on live people they freak me out. Davis
 
I am perfectly capable of prepping a body solo. Tru
 
We don't have rooms. We have drawers. Davis
 
Morgue Etiquette
 
1. Don't lock yourself in a crypt because that's just ooky.
 
2. Don't ask how much a corpse goes for on the black market.
 
3. Don't touch the sterile instruments.
 
4. Don't touch the body that needs to be autopsied.
 
5. Don't speak to the dead bodies because they aren't gonna talk back if you aren't someone with the calling.
 
Well maybe your job isn't as obvious as we thought. Perhaps someone is supposed to die today. Davis
 
I can't deal with this. I'm not in the business of deciding who is and who isn't supposed to die. Tru
 
People always say things happen for a reason well that reason is fate and fate by defintion is immutable. Maybe you're just here to make sure that fate gets its way. Davis
 
Ah Valentines Day somehow in the morgue it seems more romantic. Lindsay
 
Pick up death certificates at County Records.
 
Get out of the morgue once in a while so you know when you're being played by a girl with a pretty face.
 
Yeah it's never easy coming to the morgue. Davis
 
It's easy to come to the morgue when you're dead.
 
Never leave your computer unattended 'cause some people will take that as an invitation to snoop.
 
When your shift ends you should go home and get some sleep.
 
Jack On The Job Perks
 
1. Decent place to work.
 
2. Resonable on call hours.
 
3. Steady turnover.
 
So uh this is the uh sign in room hub of most of the activity not today obviously. Davis
 
LFD is the only way to do your primary filing.
 
Just so the functionally literate wouldn't drink my soda. Tru
 
Don't hire someone who has a perpetual habit of being late to work and not showing up and moving on to another job because that is not a good sign.
 
The one place you don't want to go on a family outing is to the morgue because the means someone died.
 
It'll get easier. This doing what we do. All these people get taken before their time sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. Tru

Digital Autopsy Capture: You scan the body with the camera for any visible signs of trauma then enter the name and case number into the database.
 
Live Scan Machine: Used to log fingerprints, flat panels, and take hand depressions.
 
Read the manual for the whole scoop.
 
Warn the new guy about the vending machine and tell him where he can get food that's actually edible.
 
An occupational hazard of working in the morgue is talking to yourself.
 
When No Body Is Recovered
 
Well under certain circumstances a coroner's office can declare a person dead without a body it's called a Certificate Of Persumptive Death.
 
You'd be surprised at how demanding dead people can be.
 
Well according to my research relived Wednesdays are a statistical rarity. I was gonna make it your regular days off. Davis
 
Planning to fake your own death spend the day at the morgue for info under the guise of it being research for your next movie.
 
Everyone eventually passes through the morgue at some point.
 
Avoid morgue humor when you mention the dead person as feeling worse than you do 'cause it's not funny.
 
It's sad when no one claims the body.
 
The left lung is smaller than the right to make room for the heart 'cause the heart always comes first.
 
Sign a notarized statement so the body can be released from the morgue.
 
Don't play with anything in the morgue.
 
Once your secret about being Death is revealed you get taken off the payroll.

It takes a certain type to work in the morgue.
 
Treating A Cadaver
 
1. Every cadaver has a story.
 
2. Treat it with respect.
 
3. You'll be privileged to learn from it.
 
No morgue talk while eating.
 
I find that cadavers tend to get noticed in public. Davis
 
Security Crypt: That is where high profiles cases are kept.
 
Now you got your body I have a morgue to run. Davis
 
A morgue can be absolutely fascinating to one in med school.
 
Well we don't exactly uh reopen case at the morgue. We do like to educated ourselves about what happened. Davis
 
When the AC goes out resist the urge to walk around naked unless you're completely alone which could change at any time after all people are dying all the time.
 
Nothing says class li ke a picnic in the morgue.
 
When it comes to saving a life it's ok to be late to the morgue.

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