Warrior Babes The Second

The Widow Twanky's Tulips

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Girlie Makeover
 
1. Lose the facial hair.
 
2. Come up with a name.
 
3. Don't forget to shave your legs and armpits.
 
4. Dress the part.
 
5. Work on a girlie sounding voice.
 
6. Giggle a lot if you don't know what to say.
 
7. Cry to get a place in the company.
 
8. The cuts on your face are from waxing.
 
9. No men is so not a problem.
 
10 Remember how to sit properly.
 
11. Don't oogle the dancers.
 
12. Make sure you have your melons handy.
 
13. Improvise so you don't get caught.
 
14. Always make sure your shoes match your tail.
 
Language Of Dance
 
Honestly I've seen more creativity in a wet kipper. Now girls remember dance is like a language you must use your bodies to speak. And what does the body say? It says ooh ooh I'm euphoric, ooh ooh I'm melancholy but above all girls you must use your bodies to tell the world in no uncertain terms I am a woman.
 
A dancer must smile while performing.
 
Girls must take a break to catch their breath.
 
I was going to say, "May I help you," but it appears events have passed us by.
 
Show me your particulars means what dance steps do you do.
 
Good Dances To Know: Mambo, Tango, Joanie
 
I'm the Widow Twanky known thoughtout the western world as Laughing Lizzy the Sailor Surprise.
 
Widow Twanky's Rules
 
1. We do two shows a day and after the second show I like my tulips flossed and in their pajamas and in bed.
 
2. No alcohol and no junkfood. Your body is a temple and I will not brook the sullying of its porticals on my watch.
 
3. No men.
 
Big Tulip Welcome
 
Howdie do sisters!
 
Start fresh from the top after a break.
 
Rest your best features.
 
Pay attention to the steps and you'll pick it up in no time.
 
Cupcake's Song
 
Some girls die for diamonds
Some guys go for gold
If you want the key to my heart
Just listen to what you're told
I don't need tons of jewels
A ring or bell is for fools
To make our two hearts beat
Feed me something sweet
I crave lots of candy
Cupcakes and cakes are dandy
Let me lick your lollipop
And you can try my lemon drop
So if you dip into my cookie jar
We'll go far kisses and hugs just ain't enough
I want a bite of your cream puff
Ooh don't make me repeat
Feed me something sweet
Feed me something sweet
 
No gambling or taverns for my girls.
 
Smuggling sweets is a big no no the punishment is to stay in your room all day.
 
No one buts me!
 
Tug on ear to put my point across.
 
Think about the ramifications of your ingestatoroy overindulgence.
 
Come on your legs aren't painted on.
 
Just smile and pray to the Gods that he doesn't recognize you when you come face to face with the guy you're hiding from that wants to kill you although there may be a twist and he ends up falling for you.
 
Come on girls hurry along too many bubbles can make you go blind.
 
No stroking of poodles on my watch.
 
I just love a strapping young buck.
 
And who do we think we are today Xena and Gabrielle? Chop, chop now come on girls the stage awaits.
 
The Hootchie Kootchie Jiggle Wiggle should be no trouble at all to experience dancers.
 
It's just a fancy way of saying get naked.
 
Are there any married men in the audience? Well get home to your wives you should be ashamed of yourselves.
 
The show must go on.
 
Doing The Jiggle Wiggle When You're A Couple Of Guys Posing As Girls Tips
 
1. Just fake it and do some wiggling and grab the fans to hide the boys.
 
2. Cover front and back to give that air of mystery and so you don't actually see anything.
 
Have a light supper on the nights you perform.
 
Lying isn't good with wooing the girl.
 
Come clean even though it could end badly.
 
Don't eat desset on the first date.
 
Don't accept a dinner invite from a guy when you're pretending to be a girl especially if it's the guy that wants you dead although he may give you his family jewels which will totally make it worth it.
 
When I'm a few girls whort I improvise and join the show myself.
 
Make sure the legs are high in the air but not too far apart.
 
Those two gentlemen stuck out like sore thumbs now really I know a man when I see one.
 
All those years of dancing comes in handy when butts need to be kicked.
 
Not quite as a I planned but we were a hit.
 
Well all men should walk a mile in womens shoes and learn a thing or two. Don't you agree sonny? Well goodbye boys and remember I'll always keep a warm spot open for ya. You come back any time.

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