Fred's Diary

Warrior Babes The Second

Fred's Diary

2001-2002

Entry One

Dear Diary

Well I'm writing on paper now. I just traded in one cave for another. No more writing on walls for me unless of course it's really important and there isn't any paper around to get it down. It is hard to get used to being back since it seems like I'm in a dream. I'll wake up and find that I'm still in Pylea hiding out in that cave. It is so great of Angel to let me live at his hotel. Well it's not like he doesn't have plenty of room. So many rooms and now one is my home. It is so great to be where I'm not a slave with a collar around my neck and a sack for a dress. It's also nice to have people to talk to. I've been getting out and I had the best time at the movies with Angel. This time went a lot better because there were no guys threatening to kill us. I will never get sick of tacos. In fact I want to pinch myself when I eat them since there's a chance they could turn into bark. I don't know if I'll ever get used to being back since it could all go away. I may wake up back in that cave and discover that this has all been a dream.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

So Angel has a gypsy curse and the girl he loves and thought was dead turns out to not be dead. It's really sad when you think about it. He loves this girl and he can never have her. It's just so tragic. Love isn't all that it's cracked up to be since it leads to pain and loneliness. I'm glad that the whole bodies being turned into mush bones was stopped and Angel was put back where he belongs. So it wasn't really him that hurt me like that. I've run out of room on the walls which is probably a good thing since I shouldn't be writing on walls. I know that I did it for so long when I was in that cave that it became sort of comforting and it was familiar.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

It was good to see my parents although I flipped out there for a while. It's just been hard adjusting to life after being trapped in that hellish place. Well my walls are empty now of words and have fresh paint on them. I'm turning it into a place to live instead of a place to hide which the cave was so I'm going to make it homey. I've figured out that I belong here and the others want me here even though I'm a goon bird. My invention worked and I got there just in time to use it since the others weren't sure what it was. They thought it might be a toaster which isn't such a bad idea really. Weapons that allow you to make snacks in case you get hungry before the baddies come along. I'll probably have nightmares for a good long while. I ran out because I was hoping that those five years were a dream but they weren't. The good thing is that I'm back in LA and I'm no longer a slave or runnaway. I just need to take little steps. I'm doing pretty well since I've been able to go out without anyone else so that's good. this is so exciting to be part of something so important.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

Since Wesley didn't return my calls I went to see him since he needs to come back to work. He totally blames himself which shows just what a good man he is. It just saddened me to hear him cry like that. I'm certain he'll be back tomorrow. We all needed a break after that Billy thing. He won't be bothering anyone anymore. I'm just glad that Wesley wasn't hurt too badly. Charles is fine too though his head was hurting for a while there and he needed some aspirin but he's good as new. He was really something how he was trying to get me to hit him so he wouldn't hurt me. Well I'm gonna eat tacos every day for the rest of my life and never get sick of them. It sure beats bark. I'm finally settling down since I'm not all jumpy and sitting under tables like I was. I'm finally accepting that this is real and I'm home with a place and a purpose.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

Now that's something I never thought I'd see a pregnant vampire. That Darla is pretty darn scary so no worries about me getting anywhere near her. I looked at that chart that Charles told me about. Pretty wild stuff with her being staked and brought back as human only to be dying and being turned back by the granddaughter. That is a lot to wrap your head around. So it looks like Angel may get a chance at what he's been deprived of for centuries unless it's something evil but the child is alive and has a soul which is a good sign I hope. Well it's certainly never boring around here. It must be amazing to have lived so long and seen all the changes that have taken place over the years and decades and centuries. So many changes he has experienced over his very long life. It also has a downside because you see people you care about grow old and die unless of course you turn all those you love into vampires. I would imagine that that would hurt what with the sharp teeth and all.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

Now that was tragic and beautiful all at the same time. I can't even say words at what happened since Darla staked herself to save her child. And of course that Holtz guy from two centuries ago being there with a crossbow was no laughing matter. I wonder why he let Angel go. I mean he did try to kill us all when we were at Caritas. It was a boy and a human one at that. He's perfectly healthy and normal. Such a sweet little guy. His name is Connor. He's like the belle of the ball since we all want to get snuggley time. I found a great bakery to make Cordy a cake for her birthday. I just love surprises and cake of course which I haven't had in ages. I can't even remember the last time I had some. We should have a little fun among the carnage.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

We got some awful news and on Cordy's birthday too. She'd been hiding just how badly the visions have been affecting her. Such a true champion to suffer in silence and keep on going even though it was killing her. She is truly brave and strong to have lasted this long. Now she has a little demon in her so now the visions are a piece of cake. That cake was so delicious that I'm going for another slice even though it'll be my fourth. Well I can't let it go to waste and Angel won't eat it since he doesn't really eat since he's more of a drinker. So everything is as right as rain whatever that means. There are some really strange sayings out there.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

That was too close. My head is still attached to my body. We really should be careful about what clients we take on. We did earn that money though. So the site is up and the clients are coming our way. Wesley and Charles showed up just in time. Those weird things were like garbage cans. I really enjoy spending time with Charles. I feel so comfortable around him. He's so sweet and very brave. Maybe I'll ask Cordy for some advice since she's smart about stuff like that. I think he might be interested but I'm not sure and I don't want to make a big fool out of myself. Five years in a cave didn't exactly help with how to act when you like a guy. For all I know he thinks I'm a total dork and is just being nice.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

What an evening this has been. We go to the ballet and of course it wasn't a normal one what with the girl being trapped and forced to dance for over a century the same thing over and over again. The spell has been broken but there was good in this evening. Me and Charles kissed. He likes me he really likes me and doesn't think that I'm a dork after all. That was a surprise to have Groo show up like that since I've always thought that Cordy and Angel belonged together. I guess you never know when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm just so excited about Charles since he's so wonderful. Breakfast tomorrow is going to be different what with the kissing. I just can' wait to see if we kiss again. What am I going to wear? I'm just being really silly since he likes me not what I'm wearing after all.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

I guess I won't be looking at a tree without wondering if it's gonna suck me into the ground. Angel was great how he allowed himself to be impaled to save me and Groo and Charles. I think Angel's feeling a bit out of sorts what with Groo coming and wearing his clothes. That had to be one of the strangest demons ever and how did it get that computer anyway? It was a good one too. It is so wonderful to see Angel with his son. At least he has one of the things he never thought he'd have. I guess it's too much to want it all. You just have to be grateful for what you got and I have more than I ever thought possible. I never thought I'd escape that cave and that nightmarish place. That was so sweet of Angel to let Cordy go on a vacation with Groo. It's funny how things have changed over this past year. I'm actually home and I won't wake up and find it all gone. I haven't had a nightmare in a really long time and Charles is a big part of that.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

It was so great to hear Charles call me his girl. I'm his girl and that makes me happy beyond words. He'd even choose me over working with Wesley but I don't want that to happen. All of us are a team although we could continue on our own if we had to. It just wouldn't be the same. I'm just glad that I wasn't alone during that earthquake which can't be good since they tend to be followed by something bad and there's the prophecy that Wesley's been working on. It's gonna be a bumpy road but I have Charles to help me through the rough patches.

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

Well Angel didn't kill Wesley although I can understand why he'd want to. This was the only child Angel will ever have and now he's gone. I'm just angry with the whole thing. Wesley should have told someone about this. I wish Cordy would come back but I know Angel doesn't want to bother her but he needs her right now. Angel just sitting in that room all alone is just so sad and none of us know how to help since we can't get the baby back for him. I shudder to think what that Quor-toth place is like and how it'll be like for an innocent baby. I think I'll gather up Wesley's stuff and go to him since he should know that the prophecy was a total fake. I understand why he did it but this is his fault for not trusting his friends.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

That was such a sweet couple. They've been married for three centuries and are still totally in love. It's such a beautiful thing. It's nice to see that especially with the way things have been around here. I warned Wesley to stay away since I'm sure Angel would probably kill him. I'm glad that Cordy is back since she has that special connection with Angel. It's been pretty slow around here which is good since this is a time to take it easy and deal with what's happened. I do feel a little guilty because I'm so happy with Charles. The thing about happiness is that it can get pulled out from under you like a rug.

Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary

Whew that mess is finally over. Charles broke up with me to protect me. I just knew it had to be that even though the others weren't sure. It's just so odd that he sold his soul for a truck and it didn't even have air. He figured he had no use for it but now he knows better which is great since his soul is priceless. In a way this was a good thing because it got Angel back to doing what he does best which is helping people. As painful as it must be he needs to go on with his life and for a really long while it's gonna be tough but it's supposed to get better with time. I wonder who said that first since it is so dumb since that's the last thing you want to hear at the time. So Charles and I are just fine and the making up part was really fun. We watched the sunrise well sort of because most of the time we were smooching.

Entry Fifteen

I'm gonna talk to Cordy about Wesley. Maybe she can talk to Angel about it. Ok maybe Angel won't forgive him but Wesley shouldn't be alone right now. He was only doing what he thought was right. Yes it was totally wrong and all but he only did it because he cared. I don't know. Something has to be done but I don't know what. It's just that he was the brains of the operation and with him gone that would make me the brains and I'm not sure if I can deal with that. Things are just so confusing right now and I feel a bit torn in two different directions. I'm not even sure if I should stick my nose in this but I do care and I can't just sit back and do nothing.

Entry Sixteen

Dear Diary

Well I didn't turn into a great pile of sand like Phil Spivey from Inglewood did. So this is a harsh lesson on avoiding black magick. It's a big no no since it comes with a price that does bite you on the ass. Maybe Cordy and Charles are right about the Wes thing. He made the decision and it backfired big time. Maybe in time but it's not my choice since it wasn't my child that was stolen so I can't really know how that felt. That was pretty scary to have that thing take up residence inside my body. Wow Cordy went all glowy and killed all those nasty critters. Now that wasn't a family reunion a person would want. That was totally unexpected to have Connor show up all grown up like that when he was just a baby a short time ago. I'm sure that Angel will find him and they'll have a chance to talk without the fighting. It must be strange for him after living in Hell all that time since it was longer for him obviously. But it's great that he's back. I just love Charles for going to Wes to help save me. It sounds like things didn't go too well. Maybe in time who knows since I don't but my fingers are crossed.

Entry Seventeen

Dear Diary

Well that ended well. Things were up in the air when Connor ran off but he came back and I mean Steven. It's gonna take a bit getting used to that name. I didn't think he'd have such good hearing. I guess with two vampires as parents you end up with excellent hearing. I'm glad that Holtz left because he was scary. It's a shame that Lorne is leaving but I can't really blame him because Connor I mean Steven isn't fond of demons even the good ones. I'm gonna miss him and his singing. I think I can help with Steven since I have an idea of what he went through. Things must be so strange for him because he can't remember living here with us. I'm planning a picnic for Charles. We deserve a little alone time and since there aren't any clients this would be a good time to hit the beach. A blanket spread out on the sand under the shade of one of those giant umbrella's with the ocean and the crashing waves. I'll get all our favorites and it'll be great. A little play time among the other benefits of being alone. I think I'm actually blushing at the thoughts that are popping up in my head. So I need to splash some water on my face and I'm off to get our food.

2002-2003

Entry One

Dear Diary

Things are so screwed up right now. I'm trying to keep things together but it's really hard. Both Angel and Cordy are missing. They disappeared around the same time but I don't think they are together. That would be so romantic if they were but I know they would have called or left a message or something so we wouldn't worry. We're going to have to give up Cordy's apartment since we can't afford to keep it. Dennis isn't too happy about that but I have no choice since we can't afford it. There have been so many dead ends but we're not giving up. Poor Connor is desperate to find his father so the search goes on until we find Angel. Cordy's car was found abandoned on the freeway with no trace of a struggle which I guess is a good thing. It's like she just vanished without a trace and left her purse behind. Something strange happened I just know it. I've tried calling Lorne but haven't had much luck since he either doesn't return my calls or he gets off fast and asks about Fluffy. I can't figure that out. Maybe it's slang that I don't know.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

I can't believe that Connor trapped Angel in a box at the bottom of the ocean. What a rotten kid. I wanted to do more than shock that little prick. He just sat back and watched us go after all those leads no matter how shaky and he knew where Angel was the whole time. He totally played us and we took care of him and he stabs us in the back. I bet he got a real good laugh at our expense. Angel kicked him out. I personally think he should have knocked some sense into him. So one person has been found but still no sign of Cordy. I guess I'll just try Lorne again. Maybe he got a swelled head with his big show in Vegas. Wow it was Wesley that found Angel. Maybe that is a good sign since it would be nice to have him back but that's not my decision. He didn't stay though so it looks like he may not care after all and that he only saved Angel to make up for what he did to Connor.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

I kind of lost it but with good reason. I took charge because no one else would. It scared me to death when I saw Charles lying there on the ground with his heart stopped. That girl recharged him which was such a relief. We found out where Cordy is. She's in another dimension and is happy according to Angel. So we're all bummed because she won't be coming back. She's a Higher Being now but we all miss her especially Angel. Angel is really taking it bad. I just know that he was finally going to tell her how he feels and now he won't ever get the chance. I don't think Angel wants to let Cordy go. If anyone can find a way to get her back he will.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

I don't think I'll want to go to Vegas again anytime soon. I like to think I'm a fairly smart person but that whole Fluffy thing went over my head. I had no idea he was sending out an SOS. Well Lorne is free of that horrible place. Angel and all the others have their destinies back. Charles liked my Lornette outfit so it might be put to use minus the green paint. I love Lorne but painting myself green isn't my idea of fun not to mention how hard that stuff is to get off. We got quite a surprise when we got home since Cordy was there and she had no idea who she was or who we were.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

I was stunned to find out that Wesley has been doing Lilah. I wonder if he'll ever come back since it looks like he's gone over to the dark side. Angel has forgiven him and did give him a chance to come back and he did save Angel's life. So I would think things would be able to be worked out. Maybe in time but I'm not so sure about now. Cordy is with Connor of all people since he was the only one that was straight with her. That is such irony. So if we had told her what we do she wouldn't have run off screaming into the night. I wonder what he was doing in the hotel anyway. I'm still a little miffed at him anyway so I'm worried about Cordy staying with him. He did try to kill her that one time and I just don't trust him. That wasn't too smart of Lorne to bring that brain eater client of his over. So she's back which is great but her mind is blank. I know it hurt Angel when Cordy wouldn't go back to the hotel. Well I better get ready for my date with Charles. He is such a sweetie and he rememered our anniversary. I just love this guy. I just know that he'll do something romantic.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

Whoa my head is just spinning with all that's happened. I got an article published which was so exciting and things just went down from that point. I found out how I got to Pylea. It turned out to be my favorite professor. I just bet he got a good laugh at my expense since I gave him all the gory details of being sucked into another dimension. I was so excited to have my article published and on page nineteen too plus giving a speech except for the part where I was nearly sucked into another portal by those tentacles. If it wasn't for Charles and Angel I'd be who knows where. I'll probably never know how many people he did this to and whether any were in Pylea with me and got their heards all blown off. So anyone who was too smart for him got sent off to Hell so I wanted to pay him back. So I went to Wesley since I knew Charles and Angel would never go along with my plan. He was there for my speech which was so sweet of him. I must admit that I do miss him. I was all set to send my professor off to get a taste of his own medicine but Charles snapped his neck like a twig before he was sucked down. He was afraid of losing me but with the roles reversed I could say the same. We didn't tell the others. So now I don't know how I feel about this since I am kind of mad that he took my choice away from me even though he did it out of love. I don't know what to do with this.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

It's like we all took a trip backwards in time without going anywhere. I was craving a joint something bad and it's not like I was a pothead or anything. It was just a thing to do every so often so I wasn't thought of as a total nerd and it gave me a hell of a trip. I'm just glad that things were set right before blood was shed. That was pretty rotten of Connor to go after his father like that. Not a surprise really since he did put his father at the bottom of the ocean and lied about it for months. Lorne is feeling better which is great and Cordy got her memory back even though things got a bit strange. Something bad is coming and it's really bad since I saw the terror in Cordy's face when she ran off. She obviously has a lot to take in but why couldn't she do that here instead of going over to his place which is probably where she is right now.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

I was so scared when I saw the fire raining down thinking that the world would end and I'd never see Charles again. I just needed time to think. It was such a relief to see Charles walk in so everything else just melted away. Things have been strained but I refuse to let that rip us apart. I just love him so much and we can get through this. I can't sleep right now and Charles is taking a nap. I keep looking over to make sure he's there. It was a rough night for the guys. There's a new demon in town and this one sounds really bad probably would be fair to say he's probably the worst. I probably should see if I can get some sleep since we need to figure out a way to kill this demon. That stuff from W & H is dizzying. So it'll be book time for sure so we can find out what we're dealing with. I know that it's not good since fire raining down is like the ultimate in bad signs.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

It's good to have Wes back even though things are tense with him and Charles. He just has this wealth of knowledge and knows so many languages. It's just too much pressure to do it all by myself. That was a gruesome little trip we took to W & H. I know all those lawyers were evil and all but that was so disturbing and even they didn't deserve that. The beast can turn the dead into zombies which isn't fun to be locked up with. That is strange that the beast slaughtered them all instead of teaming up with them. Well the important thing is that we all got out safe and found Connor. It was so strange to be in the white room one second and the next we were standing in the hotel.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

I needed some time from the researching since my eyes were going all bleary. Lorne is baking some muffins. He is such a great cook. So we figured out what the beast is up to and hopefully the others will be able to keep Manny safe and sound. He wasn't exactly my idea of a deity. I guess it being modern times and all that the deities would change with the times but he looked like a tourist to me. Well Lorne's coming with the goodies so I'm gonna have a snack before I hit the books again.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

This is so very bad. The sun is gone and the idea about using a portal was a total bust. Well we now know why the beast said the answer is among you. There is some connection with Angelus. Since we're fresh out of ideas we're doing a really bad one. Downstairs that Shaman is extracting Angel's soul. I didn't feel like watching. I've only read about Angelus so I know he's really evil and probably one of the worst vampires like ever. So strange that a dear friend is turning into this stranger. I just hope this works since we can't find anything out about the beast.

Later

It's done and the soul is all swirly and floating in a jar which Wesley put in the safe. It's so odd that a soul is like this ball of light. I would have thought it would be bigger or something. I just thought it would I don't know be the size of a person or something but I guess that would be an aura. A camera's all set up so we'll be watching him. Since Wesley has studied Angelus he's gonna be the one to talk to him.

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

That was such a bad idea. Angel's soul is gone so it's gone from bad to worse. Angelus got very chatty and shared some stuff. I'm not sure which is more disturbing Cordy having sex with Connor or Wesley having sex with Lilah. That's a real tossup the kid you were like a mother to or an evil lawyer. It's looking like we'll have to kill Angelus especially since he's on the loose and we have no idea how to get his soul back. So strange that Cordy's spell didn't work. So much for the Powers helping out. I don't know why I didn't Charles about Wesley kissing me well except for the not wanting to referree another fight between the two. Charles broke up with me but I guess that will have to wait since getting Angelus is our priority and getting the sun back of course.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

I met an actual vampire slayer. It's the bad one that was doing some serious time in jail. I guess that's what we need since she has the extra strength thing going for her. She kinda gives me the creeps since I've heard all about her. I guess the fact that she's in jail shows some kind of change. She sent Connor back which isn't the best idea since Connor can sniff out Angelus. So the rest of us are just waiting around and Lorne's making muffins again. This waiting can drive a person crazy not to mention the research that's pretty much going nowhere in helping us. We have no idea who the big bad is. I wonder if they got Angel since Wes changed his mind about killing him which kinda relieves me because I didn't want him killed. Oh my god it's daylight. They did it. I'm going out to see that beautiful sun.

Entry Fourteen

Dear Diary

Well that didn't go as I was hoping. I just miss Charles so much. I want to go back to when we were together and happy. I know I should have talked to Wes and set things straight but I wasn't expecting him to kiss me or something. I know there can nothing except for friendship between us and I'm sure he knows that but he feels the way he does and it just sucks because he deserves to be happy. It's just not gonna be with me. Ok this probably isn't the best time to think about romance but I love Charles and I'm not gonna let a bump in the road stop me. Ok it's more than a bump since things are pretty crazy around here. I wonder if Cordy's ok. She's been in her room a lot lately kinda like I was when I first came here. Except she isn't writing on the walls like I did. I don't even want to think about what Connor may or may not be doing with her since it's too disturbing but at least he goes and checks on her. I guess the whole situation has really gotten to her not to mention being shot in the leg by Angelus makes a girl not feeling very sociable.

Entry Fifteen

Dear Diary

So much has happened since the last time I wrote in here. At least that creepy Jasmine has finally been taken care of but even weirder almost is finding Lilah at the door and offering us the evil law firm. I am curious about this offer since it could be helpful with all those resources at our finger tips and maybe we could help Cordy wake up from her coma. I think I'll go myself but I don't know if anyone else will. For all I know I'll be the only one waiting for the limo. I wonder what an evil limo is like anyway. I suppose this could be a trick but I guess you got to take risks and I have to see what this is about since it could help us out. I hope someone besides me comes otherwise I may chicken out. I know Angel isn't thrilled about the idea but you have to look at the big picture. I mean it's the intent of the person in charge that makes a place evil or good right so if he were in charge they'd be working for good even though it was rooted in evil for centuries.

Entry Sixteen

Dear Diary

Well I guess great minds think alike since everyone showed up. I must say that I was impressed with what I saw. I can't believe that I'm in charge of a whole section. It seems like all the others were impressed too although I wonder who Angel was talking about this Connor person. Oh well it looks like we have a new headquarters. It was a little strange to live in the same place as you work but it was convenient since all you had to do was walk down the stairs. I think they have apartments for each of us but I'm not sure since my head is spinning and I wasn't paying all that much attention because I was too busy looking around. Angel took off I'm not sure where but I think he may have gone to Sunnydale since something big is going on there. I just want to sleep for like a week and not see any creepy crawlies for at least a few months. I think we have all more than earned a vacation. But I have no idea where we could go I guess I could ask the guys if they are up for a trip but I feel kinda bad about leaving Cordy being in the coma and all. Maybe I could go for a quick trip to Texas to see my folks since it's been a while and I really miss them. It would be great to stay there for a little bit and relax and see the old neighborhood.

2003-2004

Entry One

Dear Diary

I'm not sure about this whole thing. It's so weird to be in an evil law firm that evil people turned over to the good guys. It's so big and I keep getting lost. The lab is giganamous and I have no clue what's going on most of the time and I'm in charge. Knoxie seems sweet but he could be evil too since it still is Wolfram & Hart even though it got a face lift. Well they couldn't leave all those zombie lawyers and other icky things laying around I suppose. It's a good thing we have Lorne so we can weed out the most evil. Who knows maybe we can use the resources at our fingertips to try and help poor Cordy who's stuck in a coma. I guess that is a perk of being here since the resources are utterly amazing. Who knows if this will work out but I guess we gotta try because of all the resources that we didn't have before and now do. It's just so strange that I'm in charge of a whole department me the boss the one that people come to. I'm not sure how I feel about that since that is so overwhelming.

Entry Two

Dear Diary

Talk about strange Angel opened the mail and out popped an amulet and Spike an old pal of Angel's well sort of well not really but in a strange way they are kinda like family. He's like Spike's grandfather. Angel failed to mention some stuff well I guess it's like sibling rivarly what with them being in love with the same girl. I don't know what I can do but I'm gonna try and help him. It must be awful to be trapped in this inbetween state. I sense that he's changed after all he did get his soul back and not in a cursed way so that means well that's really none of my business. I still think that he's here for some reason, some destiny to fulfill.

Entry Three

Dear Diary

Well this kinda sucks we have to sneak around to have private conversations and some poor girl got attacked by a werewolf. Not to mention the fact that some really bad people tried to eat her. That is just too gross. There are just things you shouldn't eat and that would be one of them. We finally got to see Angel's place and it's got this great view. It was nice to just hang out and kinda have some normal time since it's been really crazy around here. I still don't know what to make of all of this what with our very own spook popping in and out and being in a law firm that's evil so much. I wonder if the evil will soak into us and infect us like a virus. I do wonder why they just decided to hand it over like this. I don't really trust that Eve talk about irony when it comes to her name. I do know that I want to help Spike. Angel is stuck in the past regarding his feelings towards him but I sense goodness about him and after all he was with a Slayer so he can't be all bad right. Well I'm tired so I guess I'll try to catch some sleep which is so hard to do these days.

Entry Four

Dear Diary

Well this has been one hell of a day. I thought it would never end and still I haven't helped Spike but at least we found out about that creepy Reaper psycho that was pulling on Spike. He totally proved that he was worth saving I mean he saved my life instead of becoming solid again. Sure he may have had a slight moment of hesitation but who wouldn't since he's still in pretty much the same situation as he was before. Ok I've been spending money left and right but aren't these people whoever they are really rich so who cares if I spend some money especially when it will help someone. I am determined to keep trying because I feel that I need to do this. It's the least I can do for what he did. I think I can see what Buffy saw in him. There is just something about him not that I'm falling for him or anything I can just appreciate that he's an interesting and quite unique guy. Maybe that's why Angel is so grumbly about him but now he has to realize that this man has changed just like he changed. People can change even vampires and I mean he did go after the soul on his own instead of being cursed and all so that should say something. I'm just babbling when I should be working or really I should be getting some sleep but I'm not sure if I can sleep since that Reaper was so creepy and now he's in storage and although I know he can't get out what if he does. I mean this guy was into some serious black magicks which means it's possible. I should just stop now because I'm freaking myself out and I should be doing something besides babbling on like an idiot.

Entry Five

Dear Diary

I've decided to go out for drinks with Know. He's sweet and I am in desperate need of a night out. There haven't been many of them. It's just that I've been so busy trying to help Spike. I can see that he's destined for great things but of course it would help if he were solid again. Maybe I'll come up with something else to help him. I just need to give my brain a rest and start fresh tomorrow.

Entry Six

Dear Diary

Well I'm not sure about Knox. I think it's because he's been at Wolfram & Hart but there's something about him that I can't quite put my finger on that's telling me not go go out with him again. He's kinda a disappointment since there have been screwups that I end up having to redo. Well it's great to be the boss of my very own department but it does have drawbacks. The one thing I am certain of at this point is that the only ones I can trust without a doubt are Angel, Wesley, Charles, Lorne, and Spike. I know I haven't known him long but the fact that he saved my life when he could have been solid again says a lot about his character. So yet another another handsome man saves me from a monster. I wish Cordy was around so we could go out for a girls night. I haven't visited as often as I should have mainly because I've been too busy but I will. I'll fill her in on what's going on since it doesn't hurt to talk to someone in a coma and it might help.

Entry Seven

Dear Diary

It seems lately that all of our lives are consumed with work. It's like a balancing act on what should get done and not doing so much good that we put the place out of business. It's like we need to add a dash of evil in order to do good. I do at times wonder if we made the right choice. Would they just let us walk out of here if one day we all decided to leave. I'm hoping that the good outweighs the bad. The world has to have a balance of the two since you can't have one without the other although having it tipped more in good's favor would be better.

Entry Eight

Dear Diary

Well that was interesting. I went out for drinks with Harmony. For a soulless vampire she's quite nice. Ok I didn't like getting bonked on the head and all but that got all straightened out. I actually admire her for going off humans since that must be awfully hard but she's doing it. I do feel bad about that poor man that got killed. Jealousy can be quite deadly. I went to see Cordy and her condition is the same. She's getting the best care so maybe one of these days we'll get good news. It's been such a long time but people have woken up after being in a coma for years. Wes is really looking good these days. I've been trying to give him signals but he isn't getting it so I'll probably have to get up the courage to make a move unless someone bonks him over the head with a clue.

Entry Nine

Dear Diary

I'm glad that Spike was made solid again. I can tell that he's a good man. I know Angel would wince if I said this but in some ways they are alike. That Slayer was really scary and I didn't even face her. I wonder if she is beyond help. I can sympathize since I lived through a hell of my own. That was so horrible what was done to her and it was a human monster instead of a plain old monster. That Andrew guy was interesting but I don't like the fact that he double crossed us. That girl needs some seriouls help the fact that she cut off Spike's hand among other things is proof of that. With our resources we could ahve found her a hospital that could have helped her or at least tried to. So that girl with the goofy name has made her feelings pretty clear. I wonder if Willow feels the same way. I really liked her although for some reason she thought I was hitting on her which I haven't figured out yet. She was sweet and all but I just don't swing that way since I like the boys. But she was nice and all and if she's happy then I'm happy for her.

Entry Ten

Dear Diary

We got the best news ever. I haven't written in here for a bit but a really good thing has happened Cordy woke up. She was beautiful as always. It was like she had a glow about her. I guess the coma agreed with her. We all went down for drinks but Cordy and Angel never showed up. I guess they wanted some alone time. Can't blame them for that. It was quite a day with Angel nearly dying and all and to think it was an evil Texan. that just ain't right. Wesley was so amazing doing that spell to remove the tatoos. I have to admit that was a pretty clever way to hide. Well I'm sure the Senior Partners aren't too happy with him. I wonder what they look like. Are they even human? I'm guessing I probably dont want to meet 'em.

Entry Eleven

Dear Diary

Oh this is too horrible for words. Cordy's gone she died and as a favor the Powers gave her a day to say goodbye. I cane in and expected to see her with Angel but he was just sitting there at his desk looking absolutely heart broken. He called us in and told us. My heart felt like it fell to the ground. This is so terrible she was so young and full of life. I mean couldn't that little bit of demon in her have saved her. Angel is just throwing himself into his work to try to ease the ache but it just breaks my heart since they had such moira.

Entry Twelve

Dear Diary

Well this is interesting Angel has been turned into a puppet and he is so adorable. He'll be back to normal and maybe he's finally gonna give Nina a shot since he now knows she has feelings for him. Some guys can be so clueless Wesley included. It doesn't matter if a guy's smart or not he can be dumb about some things. It felt really good to save those kids and spend all that time with Wesley. For an evil show I really loved that math song it was so cute. I've got it stuck in my head now. I know that Cordy's looking down at us and is happy at the good thing we did. I just know that she's an angel all in white and glowing with wings. She was a special person and I will miss her and I know she was cheering me on when I made my move with Wesley. I just know that that is something that Cordy would do and it's like I heard her whispering in my ear telling me to go for it. So I made my move since he was absolutely clueless so I kissed him and it was magical. I just know that this is the start of something really special.

Entry Thirteen

Dear Diary

I am so happy that I finally opened my eyes and realized what an amazing man Wesley is. I'll always love Charles but it just couldn't work out especially after what happened but no unhappy thoughts for I am the happiest I have been in I don't know how long. He is such a great kisser. I'm actually getting a social life back. We had a picnic and I think he's planning a surprise for our first official date that will be at night and all proper like. This is all so exciting that I feel like singing. I don't ever want this feeling to end.