Warrior Babes The Second
Team Angel's Handbook


Girls are nice. Angel
Tips On Acting Drunk
1. Make sure you have a drink before you which you will drink from.
2. Babble and hit on the guy next to you and say he reminds you of your ex girlfriend that he has pretty eyes or something.
3. Pretend you're looking for your big and shiny car and then go into action to rescue the girls from the vamps.
Don't be afraid to mention a need for a breathmint if the guy's breath is rank.
Guantlets worn on both writs are excellent for holding stakes.
To avoid pesky sunlight make sure you have a bat cave with access to the sewers.
Bed time stories can be told even if a person isn't sleepy.
Helping people is good but being cut off isn't so good because a victim might one day turn into a snack.
We've all got something to atone for. Doyle
Everyone has regrets about something.
Client Tips
1. Get involved and make with the grownup talk.
2. Practice your people skills so you become good with people which is key.
3. Good reflexes can impress a girl.
4. Asking a girl if she's happy isn't a good opening line.
5. It can give the impression of stalking so be careful how you approach the girl you are trying to help.
6. If you're gorgeous you can pull it off.
7. Don't leave the paper with the vision info on it since the wrong person might find it like the person you're trying to help and she could end up dead.
Some people are just lonely.
Be careful who you trust.
Once a vampire always a vampire since it's not like you can cure it so it's a lifelong commitment.
Others very likely have the same car as you so pay attention and make sure you remember where you parked to avoid the embarrassment of trying to make a quick getaway in the wrong car.
A good left hook can be quite effective.
When at a party make sure to grab some food for later if you're broke.
You should have a tissue around but a dish towel will do in a pinch for wiping away tears.
It's a good idea to get a computer for research instead of breaking into the library all the time not to mention the fact that it's more handy.
Don't go chasing after someone into the daylight or you'll go flamey and your secret will come out.
A gun isn't very effective against a vamp although some pain will be involved.
Try to stay positive even when things are seriously bleak.
The messenger should at least drive.
If a house is lacking in mirrors and there are heavy drapes all over the place don't walk run away immediately before you become this guy's next meal. Say that you have to powder your nose and get the hell out.
A grappeling hook is a handy thing to have.
Some gates won't open even if you crash into them with a ca.
It's fun to push a vampire out of a high rise building to test the theory about flying.
It's kinda rude to call a person only to hang up but on the other hand just hearing the voice can rip at your heart.
It's good to have a friend when you're new in town not to mention the whole paying job thing
Even a stiffener can be helpful.
Brooding works better in the dark.
Everyone deserves a night of fun.
When making business cards make sure the picture actually looks like what it's supposed to be.
Be careful when handing out business cards since the wrong idea might be had about what services you offer.
You shouldn't be so judgey of people.
Practice your social skills since, "Are you in need of rescuing?" tends not to work.
Instead of sitting alone in the dark you could always turn on the light.
Some gifts can't be returned.
Violence can sometimes solve a problem.
It's a really bad idea to meet a guy in a bar and go home with, then sleep with him since there can be dire consequences like oh your life for instance among other things.
It's a good idea to know how to type when using a computer since it makes things a lot easier if you know where the keys are.
It's nice to apologize when you've been rude.
Don't tell a girl not to go somewhere that you plan on going since that's just plain sexist.
It's hard to meet people because the whole trust factor is an issue.
Some demons can be very nice since not all demons are created equal.
Guys that call girls dowdy suck especially if they aren't exactly Mr Yummy. Who gave them permission to determine a girl's beauty.
Even vamps can get their ass kicked.
Things aren't always as they appear.
If you need to hit the cop to escape apologize beforehand.
Girls have girl parts and boys have boy parts.
To make things more legitmate get a license and maybe put it in the name of your human pal.
Lonely people try to make connections since it's only human nature.
Know when you're walking into a trap.
Flesh coming off along with a bloody shirt isn't a turn on for girls just get away very quickly if you see this guy coming your way.
If the grappeling hook doesn't work a gun can come in handy when you need to get out of a locked room.
If being set on fire won't bring the nasty guy down fire a few rounds to make sure it's dead.
It's hard to get to know people. Angel
Sometimes a person just wants to go home.
Turn off the lights for more effective brooding.
Sometimes a vamp just wants to brood.
Don't run through dark alleys in the dead of night.
Some guys actually keep their word.
An invoice is just paper so save the celebrating until you get the actual money.
A vampire doesn't need a hat and gun since the fangs can be quite effective all on their own.
If you are given the Ring of Amarra or another piece of jewelry with special powers don't destroy it since it could come in handy later on.
Some topics are best avoided know them and keep mum about them.
I think the trick is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby man. Cordy
Make sure you have read the book before you start quoting from it.
Be careful with who you call my little Bam Bam.
There's a time and place for everything.
Even if a vampire isn't invited they can still do damage to your building like burning it down.
Nicknames can be quite revealing about a person like Frankie Tripod.
If you don't want to speak to someone say that you have to get your other line.
You need to have faith in yourself.
Love shouldn't come with 911 calls.
If you're avoiding people disguise your voice and say something like House of Pies.
Sometimes you need to beat the info out of a guy.
Even slow learners eventually catch on.
A most effective way to torture is to play classical music which can drive anyone nuts. Try Mozart Symphony 41 for the best results.
Skin is best when it's attached.
A psycho need not lie.
Everyone cares about something.
Even vamps need to go out for fresh air sometimes.
Most things that live and breath hate the dark and love the light. Torture Demon
Remember that the sun hates everyone so vamps avoid it and everyone else make sure to use sunscreen.
It's through the pain that we find the truth of who we are. It strips us of our defenses. We are made innocent again like children. Torture Demon
Even a total psycho can say things that make sense.
Make the pain go away by staking your torturer.
Needlenose pliers can really make you scream.
It's always best to have a back up plan since you'll be double crossed if you deal with a vamp that isn't to be trusted.
The freezer and the toilet tank and places where people tend to hide their valuables but not everyone does that since the sewer is another place to hide something important.
Keep away from holes in the ceiling since you hair will get set on fire.
Hospitals only specialize in humans not vampires.
When running out into the sunlight run like hell and get in the water ASAP to put the fire out.
A promise is a promise and should be kept at all costs especially if it involves killing the one that tortured you.
A business should be run like a business like for instance charging the clients.
Blood isn't free if you don't drink from humans.
Last week's coffee can melt your esophogaus.
Try adding some color to your wardrobe since the black on black look can be intimidating to some people.
Not everything has to be creepy and supernatural but it usually is.
Some things don't bear too much thinking about.
Beware of psychos that can remove their body parts just to be on the safe side check around for a floating eyeball before you get undressed.
Just because a person doesn't have a record of violence doesn't mean a person isn't a raging looney.
If you are going undercover avoid saying yuck even if what the person is saying is very yucky.
When you severe a limb you only have so long to reattach before it atrophies.
Stalking is #4 on the mens fun thing to do list.
It can help to be able to get into the head of a psycho stalker.
It's ok to steal from psychos.
If you're just out for a walk you tend not to lurk in the bushes.
Be careful of unwanted hands in the bed.
Have a weapon handy just in case you wake up with a pair of hands.
Some things just give you the shudders.
Don't mention the fact that your boss is an expert at the art of stalking.
Steel boxes are handing for packing away psycho parts.
No one likes getting their limbs cut off.
If the doctor that operated on you asks you out just turn him down because it can lead to major badness.
Whiskey can be relaxing and send you into sleepyland.
People need people.
Always grab a weapon when you hear a noise.
Stand up to your psycho stalker and believe that you're strong and that he's weak.
If you're low on money reuse the coffee filters.
The best thing a client says is, "I never want to see you again."
You can always find something to celebrate.
The blonde ususally gets the job when you're on an audition.
Some peole just take more of an effort to get to know.
Brown water is a really bad sign along with the roaches which just screams that you need a new place.
Doyle On Priceless Things
It's all about money. What about friendship and family and all those things that are priceless like they say in the credit card commercials.
You can't reason with a demon that's collecting a debt that you owe him.
Some demons are very focused on their job.
A drawer not only holds stuff it can be used to hit someone.
Having nowhere else to go is pretty much your last resort.
Everyone is capable of stinking.
A well groomed vamp always has the best in hair care products.
Even the homely fellows need to get a chance.
Like it'd kill him not to see himself. Cordy
No wet towels on Angel's leather chair to avoid grumpiness.
Never peel off the floor or redecorate the place that you're staying at until you get a place.
It's not nice to trick people but sometimes you need to so you can figure out what's going on.
Sometimes a demon is easier to deal with then people.
You don't want to live in a place where there is chanting at four in the morning and the bathroom is all public.
If a place is perfect beware of badness like the place being haunted.
It's polite to introduce yourself before you attack someone.
You may not be able to get blood out of a stone but you can out of all living things.
Don't challenge an angry ghost.
If you tell a vamp that he's totally invited even without a place he can come in when you get one.
Being observant can come in handy.
Don't believe everything you hear.
Ghosts can trick you with the voice of a person you know.
Not all ghosts are like Casper although some can be quite friendly like Dennis.
Some murders can appear to be suicides.
Always have change handy in case you need to use a pay phone.
If you pick up the phone make sure you know what to say.
You can never have enough bile and lungwort lying around.
Latin may be called  a dead language but it often turns up in spells so it's not so dead after all.
Sometimes you need to get in touch with your inner bitch.
Demons may lie even if you've made a deal with them.
It's really evil to wall up your son just because you hate his fiancee.
Some walls just need to be knocked down.
You never know what lurks behind a wall.
It's a good idea to invest in a good deadbolt.
Some people are just better with their hands.
Some people just have bigger bladders which comes in handy for those long interrogations.
Time is of the essence.
Wear rain gear when cleaning up demon parts.
Ok am I wrong in thinking that a please and thank you is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment. Cordy
After a dismemberment a nice long bath is essential.
It's possible to brood and show a little interest in the feelings of others. Cordy
Just because a person is reserved doesn't mean he doesn't care pulse or not.
A lame attempt is better than nothing.
Going through coroner's reports can give a person the weebies.
Don't dress like a road flare since it's not the height of fashion.
Some guys do notice new shoes.
Beware of a guy with a talking stick.
Just because someone is called little doesn't mean he is.
Big girls do cry so do guys for that matter.
Sometimes a person just needs a hug.
You aren't judge when you go all vamp by your friends.
If you work for a vampire expect a lot of late hours.
You should be clear with your finger signals.
Sure he ate his parents but they didn't taste like chicken since the only thing that tastes like chicken is chicken.
It's very rude to beat up on the cop that releases you from jail.
The police station should never be closed since evil doers never take a holiday.
Ugh isn't a magic word or even a word for that matter.
There's always time to be considerate of others. Angel
Body language can be quite revealing.
You can be a rainbow instead of a painbow but it's all up to you.
When you're recovered from the talking stick just say you're fuzzy on the details.
Some people are in need of the whammy from the talking stick.
Some people like to spend the evening curled up with a good book.
A guy with money doesn't equal happiness since he could be total dullsville.
Possession imply wealth just like saying a guy is rich.
Just because a person is half demon doesn't mean he's not a great guy.
If your date's a bust say you're not feelign well and have him drive you back to the place you work because your car is there.
A coward that runs at the sight of a vamp isn't good husband material.
When in doubt shoot the vamp in the foot so you don't hurt the one you're helping.
Blue Boxes for Life: Tiffanys
You should at least buy the guy that saved you a Mochachino.
Everyone has some potential.
Some people go by their last name since it's more fitting especially if the guy has a girlie name.
Your demon half can show up as late as the age of 21 which is a real shocker if you've been raised human.
A good friend is a person that does a favor without charging.
Some girls just dig demons even the red ridgey kind.
Some people actually say what they mean.
Playing Charades at a bachelor party is kinda lame but it could be fun.
If you're going to a bachelor party for the new guy in you're ex's life bring a friend of the supernatural kind.
It's good to know other demon languages since it could mean the life or death of a friend.
The third grade tends to come with actual children.
Inviting a person to a party and trying to eat his brains is just in poor taste.
It is quite handy to have a photographic memory.
Throwing a vamp out the windom won't keep him out of the way for long.
Some guys just don't like hugs.
It's really bad when you get locked into a box and get injected in the head the makes you go numb.
You don't use shrimp forks for eating brains you use a soup spoon for better scooping.
No guy ever wants to be cannabalized.
Go all pincushion face for extra strength.
Sometimes it's best to say nothing.
Someone with a heart beat needs to cheer up the down in the dumps guy.
Nice guys don't always finish last. I think it. I say it. It's my way. Cordy
Sometimes a piece of wood is need to level a desk not for suicide.
A girl will be a little upset to find out the ex came to town and did a little stalking and left without even saying hello.
Being able to smell blood is a handy skill.
A stake is a lot handier than a fighting axe.
Mutant Ninja blood can make a vamp feel weird.
Seeing your ex who happens to be the love of your life can make you confused.
Heartbreaking sewer talks should be avoided just hunt and kill.
The Lone Bar is where demons go to get patched up.
There is a cure for vampirism after all it's called Mohra demon blood mingling with your own and voila heartbeat.
Sometimes dust is just dust.
Sweep under the desk to avoid silly mixups.
Everything becomes more real when you're suddenly mortal.
If your tummy is killing you don't keep snacking on the chocolate no matter how good it tastes.
The Oracles
The Gateway to Lost Souls is located under the Post Office.
1. They are finicky and unpredictable.
2. When you get in don't dilly dally ask your questions and get out.
3. The lowly messenger can't get in but the warrior has a shot because his heart is pure.
4. Light the stand and say, "We beseech access to the Knowing Ones.
5. If you're invited the doorway goes all glowy which means come on in.
6. Time runs different in there so it may appear that you haven't gone in at all when you do get out.
7. Don't forget to bring a gift but if you didn't your watch will always work since the girl likes time.
Throw caution to the wind and give in to temptation.
Seeing dead bodies as a mortal turns the stomach.
Being suddenly mortal takes time to get used to especially when it comes to fighting minions from Hell.
To drum up business shoot a commercial.
When writing the cuecards make sure to double check the spelling so you don't end up with rats when you meant rates.
Brooding doesn't pay the rent.
Even if the heart isn't beating doesn't mean it can't break.
Carrying the memory of a swallowed day is quite a burden especially when a guy gets his greatest desire but gave it back to save the love of his life.
A real hero will make the greatest sacrifices.
You never know your strength until you test it. Angel
You should tell the girl about you being half demon before you ask her out to dinner.
You can't keep secrets from each other. Cordy
Pretend you're playing Charades if a vision strikes and you're outside with a person going by.
Fear can be smelt if you have the nose for it.
Demons can be the ones that are being help since they can be good.
Vamps don't bite unless they're hungry.
Losing yourself and hoping it'll all go away never works out.
Not all Brachens have a good sense of direction.
To appear to be on the side of the Scourge appear to kill the demon by snapping his neck.
Vamps are the lowest of the low on the demon food chain.
The Scourge are not only bloodthirsty psychotic killers they aren't too bright since they can be fooled.
Bargain with the guy that owes your boss money so you get some of the money owed.
No good deed goes unpunished.
When in a hurry steal a bike and motor.
Expect a slap when your secret gets out without you telling her.
The greatest gift a guy can do is give up his life to save the lives of others.
The good fight yeah you never know until you've been tested. I get that now. Doyle
Everyone should have a special coffee mug.
Sharing grief with others is the healthy and normal thing to do.
Candor is always appreciated.
Vampires and Coffins According To Angel
Coffin I hate that stereotype. Vampires don't sleep in coffins. It's a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. In fact you know we can and do move around during the day as long as we avoid direct sunlight.
Audition Tips
1. Don't cry during your audition unless it's required but a stain remover needs no tears only a happy face.
2. Remember that being able to remove a pesky stain is a happy event.
It's in poor taste to point a crossbow especially if it can easily be knocked out of the hands.
Leather can make the man plus it really goes with the bike although it can lead to chaffing issues.
Some feelings are private so don't go poking around in a person's head because that's just plain rude not to mention creepy.
A lone wolf such as myself never works with anyone. Wesley
Even lone wolves need help every now and then.
Being multilingual comes in handy along with some cash for a bribe when you need info.
Signs Of Frustration
1. Grinding teeth
2. Sighing
3. Grunting.
PTB: Powers That Be
Just because a demon's name is Barney and he seems harmless doesn't mean he is.
Don't be so revealy with some strange demon even if he's a client.
Stuffy Rogue Demon Hunter can come in handy.
Knee a guy and if that doesn't work try screaming.
Don't just stand there like an idiot look around for clues.
To stall for time during an auction where your eyes are for sale try to up the bidding and start a bidding war.
Don't ducktape a dagger to your ankle since it won't be pretty when you try to get it off.
Kill the competition although someone else can outbid you.
If a knife isn't handy use a horn to cut the ropes.
Screaming gives the illusion of being a bad ass.
Something sharp in the back gets rid of the evil demon every time.
Iron to decrinkle the paper that has the picture you drew and frame it in honor of a dear friend so you have a little piece of him around even though he's not.
Stall leaving until you get invited to breakfast.
Just because a person is on a liquid diet doesn't mean he can't be a great cook.
Even vamps can have nightmares.
Some nightmares are actually reality.
Nobody likes a smart ass rogue demon hunter. Cordy
It's sad to state the obviousl.
Talking to a chair implies that things are slow.
If someone stops yammering that is a sign of something being up.
Bags on a vamp isn't a good sign.
Avoid the sun if you're a vamp since it causes you to burst into flames.
If you're human it's a good idea to use sunscreen before going out into the sun.
It's not fun to get inside the head of a psycho but it's sometimes a necessary evil.
It's very rude to come in a vamp's place of business with a stake when you have no proof that he's gone all evil again.
Staking and beheading a vamp is overkill not to mention impossible since one or the other will make the vamp turn to dust.
Fear makes the blood taste better.
Better safe than cocktails. Cordy
Eating your family after becoming a vamp is always the sweetess so savor the moment.
It's a good idea to find a police radio which you'll find in a police car so you can keep track of your cop pal.
Don't go off with strangers since ou could end up dead.
A gun is pretty much useless with vamps unless the bullets are made of wood of course.
Just because someone is a vamp doesn't mean he's not a person with feelings.
There are some things in this world that you're not ready to face.
Be careful who you invite in.
A long trench coat is a sign of a vampire.
Yank the curtains up so you don't get dead if a vamp is in the office.
No one likes a cheesey hack prosiac vampire that goes on and on.
When doing your vamp homework go to the Anciect Eye for fun facts.
No one likes a bitchy cop.
Breaking into another vamp's lair doesn't require an invite.
Composite sketches are usally a terrible likeness.
Most girls don't like to be sniffed at.
200 years is plenty long enought to stick it to your daddy.
It hurts to have a big chunk of wood shoved through you even if it doesn't hit the heart.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
People really do change. Cordy
A good friend will kill you dead if you go all evil.
Hum or make some noise when sneaking up on a person.
Some times it's an evil free night.
Be careful with your Bavarian Axe.
The third time isn't always the charm.
I don't lounge all that well. Angel
Make sure you have the right place instead of going on about demon spawn and eggs.
We fight termites wherever they might roam isn't the best excuse to give after you've broken into the wrong house that has people watching TV.
Killing things can be very bracing.
It takes time to find your way especially if you just inherited visions and lost someone you really care about.
Being called gay just adds mystery to a guy.
Even hot spots can become boring.
The guy with the big bag of fame and fortune is fleeting so don't hold your breath.
No matter how late it is where you are it's early somewhere.
If your ghost turns the lights up and messes with the radio take it as a warning and have the guy leave after you have a drink.
Everyone loves a juanty polka.
Threaten to play Evita starring Madonna to stop your ghost from killing the mood.
Sometimes it's not about jealousy.
Sometimes not being alone is sorta the problem like waking up very pregnant with demon spawn.
Flash the cash to get answers.
Being pregnant can make you grumpy not to mention the whole whoosh factor with a not so normal pregnancy.
Amniotic fluid that eats away the tile is a really bad sign.
Beware of smelly money.
If things get weird you should ask questions.
Pregnancy can be really strange like your spawn starts talking to you and you develop a craving for blood.
If you're hungry order a pizza.
It's always fun when a guy begs to have his ass kicked.
A book is excellent for knocking a guy out.
Slay the demon and poof no more evil pregnancy.
Some demons are harder to kill than others but there is always a way.
Brush up on your target practice since you just may need it.
Demons aren't always in the mood for a chat.
Give a little TLC to the one who just had an evil pregnancy.
Best to get back on the horse. Wesley
You're stronger than you think.
Men are evil. Cordy
LA is full of self serving phonies. Cordy
Sex is bad. Cordy
It's ok to get a little misty eyed every so often just blame it on allergies.
Actually in Hell you tend to know a lot of the people. Angel
If a crate is marked Danger Hazardous Materials do not open don't open it since badness could follow like being burned to death.
Pay no attention to the strange sounds coming from the marked crate unless you want to become dead.
People gathered together for parties in olden times.
I got two modes with people bite and avoid. Hard to shift plus I can't get too close I mean with women. Angel
It's a sad state when the geeky rogue demon hunter is cooler than you.
Don't hug the vamp that gives you a job.
Have a hanky ready at all times.
Visions can take a lot out of a girl so keep aspirin and ice and wate handy to recover from the skull cracking pain.
Find out everything you can about a situtation so you don't jump the gun and help the bad guy.
Two grappeling hooks that shoot from your wrists make climbing up walls a piece of cake.
If you find a stash of cash in a dead guy's office take it since he won't need it.
Put numbers on speed dial and keep your battery charged.
Cell phones were cooked up by a bored warlock.
Blend in by taking off the coat and share your knowledge of the paintings.
Keep your ah ha's to ah ha's of triumph.
You incinerate a few guys someone's gonna start asking questions. Angel
If you start heating up take a long cold shower.
There's a time and place for everything.
Sometimes you just have to follow your nose.
Teach your vamp boss how to use the cell phone so you can contact him.
Sometimes a guy just needs to take a shower.
Here's the plan we go in I start hitting people hard in the face. See where it takes us. Angel
It's always good to have a plan before you go out to fight the bad guys.
Sometimes it's best to just open the door so you don't fall on your face.
I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not. Angel
Everyone needs help sometime.
Don't hit on a girl that could accidentally burn you from the inside.
It's in poor taste to leave the people that are trying to help you to die.
You should thank the guy that saved you from being castrated before you drive off.
Be careful when squashing the bag of coffee beans since they could end up on the floor and knock someone on his ass.
Some people turn groveling into an art form.
Helping the innocent shouldn't be limited to just one dimension.
Don't eat Cordy's brownies unless you want to break a tooth.
A vamp tends to be more of a drinker than an eater.
Don't use an extinct demon knife to cut brownies.
Some brownies can be used to throw at people.
If you're not unflapable go ahead and flap.
You don't always cry when you're bleeding.
Be careful when snooping through the garbage since you might get a fright and bump your head.
Green glowy stuff will be at a house where one of the people inside is possessed by a demon.
No one could have said demon pooo before I touched it. Cordy
Demon poo can't hurt you although it's kinda pretty to look at.
Children's Rhymes should come with a rating system.
Lizzie Borden was possessed by a adolescent Ethros.
A father doesn't have to be possessed to be a mean son of a bitch.
The first step in confrtonting a demon is getting him to show himself. A little cylus ecalyptus powder ingested by the host and he goes grr and the head spins around essentially. Wesley
Put the powder in the brownies to find out who is possessed since everyone loves brownies.
No it was full of roasty goodness. Angel
Hide brussel sprouts in your napkin or your mashed potatoes.
I use chocolate because it's brown which gives them their name brownies. Angel
Some cooking secrets aren't worth sharing.
A person can just choke on a brownie or whatever he may be eating.
If the food was really poisoned everyone would go all grr.
Binding powder ingedients should be kept in the pantry for easy access.
Place the plastic down before you pour the binding powder to form a circle since it's too late once you start pouring to bother ask.
Demonic Possession Tips By Angel
1. Do not break the circle.
2. It's important he'll try to get him to come to you.
3. Don't do it.
4. Don't touch him.
5. He's been exposed.
6. He's angry.
7. He'll kill you if he gets a chance.
Some nuns have the ability to sense vampires.
Ethros are very smart and dangerous even more dangerous than vampires.
Think before you speak so something really dumb doesn't pop out.
It's vulgar to throw a cross to your friend who is a vampire.
If the elevator doesn't work just take the stairs.
Listen to the ones that know what they are talking about.
There's no blind Tibetan monks around when you need them.
Rick's Majick N Stuff provides all your magickal needs but sometimes a substitution is in order although it doesn't always quite work out the way you hoped.
When someone is possessed they are able to skim the mind which is a mere parlor trick but they can really mess with your head.
Being stabbed in the neck with a cross really hurts.
Blessed Be is a Pagan Greeting.
It's good to know what you're looking for.
Mute Chinese nuns do good work like with a Shorshack box.
Wrap your hand in a cloth to avoid a flaming hand.
Go all vamp face and say, "Get the hell out," to give the exorcism a little oompth.
Just say what you mean in simple enough terms so everyone gets what you're saying.
Not planning to kill to willing to kill if needed is a good thing.
Even demons are capable of losing hope.
Never leave matches lying around where an evil child can get them and set a fire.
If the suspect is dead there's no point in reading him his rights.
It takes time to get used to the idea of demons being real.
People have a way of seeing what they need to. Angel
Checking up on someone can be a sign of caring but not always.
You should pay attention to conversations.
Some demons are non violent, articulate, and gentle by nature.
Maybe it was just have a bad skaky rag day. Cordy
Some people prefer to say evil thing instead of a demon.
There are not, not evil things.
Running a two by four through someone can strain things between people.
Stalking is at times a necessary evil.
If you get a security system use it.
It can be a bit disorienting when you claw your way out of your grave.
One person's dream is another's nightmare.
Praying won't save you from being a snack for a hungry vampire.
A deliberate cautious approach will be the most sensible plan. Wesley
Sometimes backup isn't needed.
Having an alarm announce various doors and windows being ajar while demons are coming in can be seriously annoyed.
People seem taller when you're alive and smaller when you're dead.
You can never have too many weapons when killing evil things.
Sometimes not much goes into the name like the website on demons called Demons, Demons, Demons.
Apparently lawyers from Wolfram & Hart aren't listed in the demon database because technically they aren't demons but they are evil and sorta human.
There's a dozen species indigenous to LA alone.
So there's still a place in this world for traditional research. Wes
Go to www.archfiend.org: Where the lonely and the slimey connect.
A richly deserved reputation for handling the unusual helps bring in the clients with nowhere else to go.
Nice touch to bring a finger to add a hint of realism to your "story".
Know when a person's totally lying and leading you into a trap so you don't fall into it use your senses.
Wheat grass is supposedly good for the digestion so it's useless for vamps.
Teeth tell a lot about the bones. Jack
Some demons don't like talking.
If you're keeping a vamp prisoner at least provide him with some blood since vamps need to eat too.
Some humans are just plain evil.
Ice keeps the swelling down.
People who pay to watch fights to the death are seriously deranged.
Pretending To Be Cops
1. If you need tickets into the illegal fight pretend to be a cop but don't forget the badge to give that touch of realism.
2. Come up with names: Detective Andrews and Detective Yelsew. Don't forget to mention to you partner: Show 'em your badge and write down their license plate number.
3. Talk like a cop: 4 3 niner Peter, Charlie, Edward.
4. Claim to be doing the couple a favor by letting them know about a planned raid.
5. Ask for the tickets and let them know that you are doing them a big favor by sending them home.
6. Don't say: "Something's gong down tonight. Something with the man." If he does cover by saying: "We're not at liberty to say. I think that would be a wise thing to do, sir.
Just because something's illegal doesn't stop some people from doing it.
These Octavian matches date back to the Roman Empire. Wes
Demons don't always play well with others.
To unlock the bracelets forged by ancient sorcerers use an ancient key or make one.
Some people need to be put in their place.
Why put off till tomorrow what you can do today? Angel
Even family can be expendable.
Making A Key Tips
1. To avoid getting shocked again hide under the table and use pliers to hold the item you're trying to use to open the lock.
2. If there is no shock it's too thick so try something else.
3. You need something supple enough to thread the locking mechanism but strong enough to spring the release.
4. Apparently horsehair from Keanu the Palamino does the trick.
It's impossible to sneak out of a theater when only a few are in the audience.
If you're in a play you should at least learn your lines by heart.
A really bad play with even worse acting can last an eternity.
Vamps tend to be culturally retarded so TV stars etc are unknown to them.
When you want to picket an idiot network that cancelled your show make sure you wear comfortale shoes.
Don't turn down an offer of payment for saving someone's life since we all need money.
It's a let down when no mention is made of you rescuing a star.
There are seasons in LA.
Some people are just night people.
Practice your fake visions to make them more realistic.
Vamps are people too well sorta.
Be wary of a person that doesn't freak when they find out you are a vampire.
Movies aren't shown in the alleyway they tend to be shown in the theater.
You shouldn't have to pay someone to love you.
Nobody stays young forever except for vampries.
A killer doesn't use blanks unless he's a fake.
Don't squeal in public.
Don't give a person the lowdown on becoming a vamp even if it's a celeb you absolutely love.
Be careful who you link arms with when sipping champagne.
Spilled champagne on a shirt is cold but fun.
Spilled champagne doesn't ruin one's wardrobe.
It's important to get to the point.
Some aren't meant to be happy because things get really ugly if they do.
Don't think all vampires are like the friendly one with a soul.
Synthetic happy pills only cause sheer contentment and bliss temporarily.
It's mean to mock one's stuttering or bad acting.
Water doesn't melt but holy water does burn the fleash and make it steam not to mention the screaming.
Chain your boss to the bed until he's not evil again but release him when he's back to normal.
Some things are best left behind so you can just move on.
Yes one can and did grow a pair.
Be careful on the girls you try to pick up because you may win a trip to the hospital.
A birthday present can totally change a person.
Do the right thing to avoid dying.
Your friends won't be there for you if they've been cut up and incinerated.
It's nice to send out a thank you card since it shows appreciation.
You don't change a guy like that. In fact generally speaking you don't change a guy. What you see is what you get. Scratch the surface and what do you find more surface. Cordy
Having a soul doesn't automatically mean a person will do good.
Be careful of psychotic girls in clubs.
Some people just need a little guidance along with a little push in the right direction.
Sometimes a guy just needs to be comforted.
Renumeration is just another word for payment.
Nothing says success less than splitting the bill. Cordy
When a whacked out Slayer tries to kill your boss it's very wrong. Cordy
A head's up is a good idea just in case the psychotic Slayer comes to town.
It's a good idea to think things through.
When sneaking into an evil law firm dress the part.
Always leave people guessing.
Leave immediately if your ghost won't let you in since he's warning you about a psycho.
Capachinno keeps some people up.
Sometimes a person can surprise you.
In some instances it's ok to hit a girl like if she's a Slayer and a bad one to boot.
Being tortured by a psycho can reveal how strong you really are.
Don't scream for the torturer because that's what she wants.
It's always better with audience participaton. Faith on Torture
A broken picture frame provides a great sharp piece of glass ideal for torturing.
Being psychotic can make a girl look all worn out.
Give your employees time off while you're houseguest is a psycho that you're trying to help.
The one that did the hitting is to blame.
Being elbowed in the face is a lot better than being tortured alway avoiding both would be just peachy.
The police are ill equipped to deal with a Rogue Slayer.
I do not however understand why the woman who brutally tortured me last night this morning gets pastries. Wesley
There are far more humane ways to deal with a rabid animal. Wesley
We're not in the business of giving up on people. Angel
Detectives tend to do things like detecting.
Make sure you have the right name when calling someone something. Remember that Mulder is the believer and Scully is the skeptic.
It always helps to have someone that knows what you're going through.
If one is newly out of a coma sleep isn't big on her list.
Asking for help is the first step.
No smoking allowed so lighting up is very rude not to mention smelly and gross.
Sacking someone impies that you are being blamed.
Some people can just live on popcorn.
The Council is cheap since they send their operatives by coach.
Be more specific when you ask a question since you may get an answer to something else although it may be something you really need to hear.
Leave off the gee when making an attempt to apologize to the guy you nearly tortured to death. You actually have to be sorry to add that hint of sincerity and remorse.
There's some things you can't just take back no matter how sorry you are right. Faith
You might find out you can apologize and actually mean it.
Some demons bleed red just like humans.
Things aren't always as they appear.
Punishing with a severe cuddling never works.
You apologize to me I will beat you to death. Buffy
Some things can't be apologize for.
A cry for help is when you say help in a loud voice. Buffy
Never trust gun toting maniacs.
Some people just refuse to listen to reason.
A perfect way to get back at the guy who called you a pounce is to inject him with the hypo he was given along with a good punch in the face.
Sometimes you have a right to vengeance.
It's cruel to flaunt your boyfriend and the fact that you're getting on with your life when your ex can't do the same.
Peace is not an easy thing.
It's nice to smell money every once in a while. Cordy
When you throw a part you should know the guests.
Social skills don't come naturally to everyone.
Dungeons and Dragons is a role playing game.
If a guy is a nerd it's pretty much public knowledge if you're rich and widely known.
Vampires aren't allowed to indulge in demon brothels.
Don't say a person's name sounds good in your mouth.
Don't stake first and ask questions later.
Don't judge a guy just because he's a vampire.
Some pictures you just don't want to frame.
Take a look at the huge check to make you feel better.
No one likes a lecturing vamp.
In order to survive you need to be smart.
Don't be afraid to go for the heart.
Daylight doesn't always protect you from the vamps.
When on a stakeout pretend y ou're somewhere else like the beach with a very tan lifeguard instead of some smelly homeless guy pushing his cart.
Kill anything that moves isn't always the best plan.
Have a cell phone handy to call for help when you get locked in a meat locker and remember that you actually have it.
Sometimes it's best to make a deal in order to save lives.
Be careful of psycho blind chicks with freaky eyes since they can sort of see.
Anticipating actions before being carried out is a handy skill for a fight or a date.
A client being represented by Wolfram & Hart pro bono is a sign of her still working for them.
It's not easy to fight evil when it doesn't get put behind bars.
Somethings you just can't fix.
Even vamps need a little pep.
You always have a choice. Angel
You have to make a decision to change. That's something you do by yourself. Most people they never do. Angel
Gettting yourself killed can imply a change.
Some guys like things that are extremely dangerous.
Even evil lawyers can get scared.
Better safe than sorry.
If your instinct says take it do it but get out quick as a bunny.
To throw the evil chick off balance stand still so she can't see you and then make your move.
Some people get testy when translating.
IF you find something funny mention it or try laughing.
Every self respecting Dungeon Master has a shiny cape.
Apocalyptic prophecies aren't exactly a science. Wesley
When a vision strikes reach for the pain killers and get some water for vision girl.
Enough with the scratch -n- sniff visions. Cordy
A prophecy does come from on high.
Sometimes a person just wants a donut.
It's a good idea to get a bunch of donuts in case someone steals your donut.
It's a good idea to make a photocopy of the ancient scroll just in case it gets stolen.
Everyone needs a hobby even your friend the vampire.
If you get the feeling you're being watched you could very well be.
Sometimes a rant is in order.
Hospitals really suck especially when people you care about are in one.
It's traditional in the human world to humor people who've done favors for you in the past. Gunn
You can't always judge a vampire by his fangs.
Latin is not such a dead language after all since it tends to often turn up in spells.
Some choices are wrong.
Sure you may be holding the power but soon you could be handless.
Don't believe everything you're foretold. Angel
Recharge the brain cells by eating.
Break out the champagne for good things like finding out that you get to become human again.
At least one person has come to LA to grow old and he couldn't be happier about it.


Some people skulk professionally.
Sometimes a slap is a good thing.
Watch where you throw a dart.
Quanaid demons love muslces and mirrors.
Sloth demons don't sacrifice adolescents.
Don't handle the breakable knicknacks.
If you break it you should replace the unicorn.
If you're eternal you don't need to work out.
Say bless you after a person sneezes.
N.D.U.O. means Nasty Demon Of Unknown Origin.
Just because a demon is nasty looking doesn't mean he can't be one of the good guys.
Don't yell at the ghost that's trying to help ok he's dead but he does have feelings.
Sometimes it's good to go outside the box.
Sometimes you just gotta sing.
A karoake bar can be a sanctuary.
There's more to life than eating your young. The Host
Some demons don't have tongues.
It's all about the coat.
Caritas is Latin for mercy.
Not being able to sing doesn't stop those from singing.
Anagogic means one is psychic and connected to the mystic. When you sing you bear your soul he see sit. Wesley
Singing isn't about your pipes it's about your spirit. The Host
Three things I don't do: Tan, date, and sing in public. Angel
Talking is sometimes better than attacking because you may do something you'll end up regretting.
The good demons should wear badges or have some kind of greeting to let the others know that they are on the same side.
Obscure visions really suck
If a person saves you from a vamp it's common courtesy to say thank you.
Soaking up the guilt is only natural after killing one of the good guys even though it was an accident and an honest mistake.
Even demons can be Buddhists.
Running is often a good plan.
Demons tend not to knock.
A gun is a weapon but with two n's it can be a person's name like in the case of Charles Gunn.
We set'up up we knock'em down. Cordy
Even a vamp can have a bad day.
If singing will help save someone's life a person that won't sing will sing.
Don't feel guilty for an honest mistake since everyone makes them.
Pick a song you know like Mandy and because it's kind pretty.
Even the toughest guy can be a sap.
I only tell you what I tell you the rest is up to you. The Host
If you're pregnant it's not a good idea to be wandering down the street at least use the sidewalk or maybe a bus.
Once able to ride a horse always able to even if it's been a century and let the horse know so you don't make a fool of yourself.
Duck so you don't get knocked off your horse when a guy comes at you with a very big stick.
A sword through the gut hurts like hell but doesn't actually kill a vampire.
Part of the job is bleeding.
We shouldn't be keeping score. We're not running a race we're doing a job one soul at a time. Wesley
Not killing someone when you really want to is a really good sign that you're on the road to changing for the better.
Don't dwell on having to sing in public.
The road to redemption is a rocky path. Faith
Try something new like adding cinnamon to the blood.
You don't evict someone because he gives you the heebie jeebies especially if he pays his rent.
Turning away a family simply because they are black is utterly ridiculous not to mention the whole not making sense thing because they are the same as white folks only with a tan.
To keep your blood at its freshest keep it nice and chilled.
Showing a gun doesn't always work with the whole scare factor.
Some people want to be left alone so they can brood in peace.
It's not that vampires don't photograph it's just that they don't photograph well. Cordy
Listening to a polka over and over can lead to you blowing your brains out or it could be that whispering in your ear.
Using a pillow to muffle the gunshot doesn't work with a vampire that lives next door.
The death wishers usually tip better like they know they're not gonna take it with them anyway. Bellboy
It's a bad idea to store a dead guy in a meat locker.
Wallpaper could drive a person to suicide.
Asking for peanuts means you are craving something salty.
If you're thinking about peanuts you're probably not suicidal.
Everyone has something to hide.
Close minded people really suck.
Feeling like nothing is pretty darn rotten.
Fear makes people do stupid things. Angel
Some guests check in and never check out.
Some demons have to be made coporeal in order to kill it.
If a TV's black and white there is no way to tell the color of a person's hair.
Vamps can walk into public places uninvited.
The Van Helsing Jr Number tends to not work.
If the body doesn't fit push him until he fits.
The vamp gets a discount when he's trying to do something good as in free.
Using something big and heavy will do the trick when killing evil things.
Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile. Wesley
Say please when asking for something and nothing else or it might be thrown to you because you are just being annoying.
Ignore the paranoia demon's whispers.
Be careful where you store your blood because a lynch mob may come after you.
A benefit of being a vampire is that if you're hanged it won't kill you although it'll leave a mark.
Even a vampire's feelings can be hurt.
When the residents and staff kill you you tend not to give a crap about helping them.
Watch out for the tentacles.
Some people may look the same but they aren't.
You can't really blame a person that's under the influence of a paranoia demon.
Everyone is paranoid to some extent although some are more so than others.
Sometimes a guy likes to go for a medley to liven things up when singing.
A vamp practices singing in the shower since the mirror is out.
Just because a heart doesn't beat doesn't mean it can't break.
Talking about money can make some girls go warm.
Staff off the streets after sundown unless you know what's out there and you're ready for it.
Don't wear a new outfit for some slaying.
Who doesn't love Denzel? Angel
Humans like a nice, warm cozy room to curl up with a book.
Moonbathing is better than sunbathing because it doesn't damage your skin or in the case of vampires doesn't turn them into flames and later piles of dust.
Never leave home without at least an axe in your bag.
Never park a car with the keys in the ignition because that's an invitation to steal.
Make a car thief work for his steal.
Be careful who you attack because it just may be some guy.
Depending on who you are being attacked by a hot naked guy could be fun.
A weakass Lady Smith battle axe isn't so weak after all since it did crack a guy's skull.
Mace can come in handy so make sure to carry some in your purse.
Don't be such a wanker prove how manly you are by wearing the pink motorcycle helmet.
Be careful who you invite to a party.
Everyone's invited on a flyer is an open invitation to vamps.
Everybody needs a little fun now and then.
Some people need discipline to survive. Gunn
It's not a good idea to pull the glass out of your neck.
Apply pressure to the wound to slow the bleeding.
A head butt will reveal the vamp within.
Sometimes describing a certain demon as ugly really falls short.
If demon pus and blood are on your keys just hotwire the car and get new keys.
You can't fire me I'm Vision Girl. Cordy
Most people don't drink coffee at 10 at night.
Angel is just a name.
Some people are different from most people.
Monsters at work can actually be a literal thing,
Don't flex your manly boob muscles while you're being bandaged up.
You can't think when you're impales with a rebar.
Time to broaden your horizons. Angel
Don't try to impress a person with your lack of knowledge.
A vampire should be up for longer than three hours.
Some fashion trends need to be forgotten.
Some aren't so easily shocked.
Some people just shouldn't have money. Gunn
Ugly ass furniture is a serious abuse of money.
Be careful when leaning against the door since the person can die while you're leaning and you end up falling through the doorway.
Some guy's are a no bone.
Floating or spinning the bad guys until they puke instead of squashing them even if they deserved it is a much better idea.
I like my men less fruity and more spendy. Cordy
Pour hot coffee in the bad guy's face.
Friends don't hire friends to rape a kill a person.
You can't always win.
A vampire that keeps nodding off is a bad sign.
Even a vampire can be sensitive about his age.
What if every time you identify the demo in one of your big old books we gave you ten bucks or a chicken pot pie? Cordy
People prefer to be paid with money not chicken pot pies.
If I sit I'll throw up inside my head. Cordy
Sometimes it's just best to stay standing.
Not everyone will get your humor.
Everyone has some kind of hobby.
Every person that kills the big uglies gets paid.
Never buy a dog plow and never get in the middle of a religious war. Gunn
Good advice is good advice even without an Uncle Theo.
Watch my back means watch my back not keep on beating the dead guy.
Off his game is an expression not in the literal sense of the word.
Getting abducted by aliens could be a lame excuse to cover up an affair.
If you think a person is cheating they probaly are.
Be nice to potential paying clients.
Don't mention clowns and the big talking hot dogs.
Everyone betrays you. That's not what eats at you in the long winter's night. Darla
 Some people enjoy chasing the bizarre and grotesque.
Not everything is worth getting paid for. Angel
Food requires money.
He can smell you so lies won't work.
The Joys Of Undercover Work
1. The public humiliation.
2. Running from the hotel security staff.
3. The nifty little outfit which seemed to tell so many conventioneers, "Pet me I'm a whore."
You gotta do whatever it takes even singing.
Some people just talk way too much.
Cranky doesn't mean someone will turn evil.
Convents they're just a big cookie jar. Angelus
Killing is so merciful in the end isn't it? The pain is ended. Eternal torment. Angelus
There are exceptions to every rule.
Actors are people too.
Exceptions can be made to his cub scout code every now and then.
We specialize in urgent. Wesley
Everyone has a few skills.
Just because the guy is dorky doesn't mean he's a secretary.
Don't make eye contact just keep going.
A briefcase can be used to stop the elevator doors from closing.
Walking real quick isn't a good plan.
Weird ass things happen all the time even without you knowing.
I'll sing if I have to. Angel
A friend should call or at least write.
Make sure you find the right guy before wasting time with him.
Appearances are important to everyone.
Wearing all black solves the pesky problem of matching.
Tips On Playing A Vampire
1. Vamps don't whine.
2. Remember that you must be invited in.
3. Have all the mirrors covered so your cover won't be blown.
4. Downplay the whole curse thing so you get the girl.
5. Remember that a cross is supposed to burn your hand.
6. Lose the glasses since vamps as a rule tend not to wear them unless they are sunglasses.
7. It's never to late to go shopping when you're a vampire.
8. Don't forget to return the coat you borrowed.
Every time there's a new threat buy a new bookcase.
One good spell would melt the gold it's best to go with iron.
Sometimes you can find your answer ina magazine.
Being turned into a vampire isn't a gift.
Some things aren't so special
A fishing rod is good for catching people as well as fish.
The key ingredient of rescuing is to leave.
Swamis don't hit they swam. Cordy
Yeska is not a Goddess she's a Davric demon.
Release her or die. Wes
Know your lines and don't step on the other guy.
I'm not a enuch. The curse isn't all the clear.
Give a good punch to daddy since it's the least he deserves after trying to kill you.
A hefty trust fund will help a long way in that whole almost being killed by dad thing.
No one says squire anymore but the newspaper does.
Reflected glory that's my thing. Cordy
If you keep drawing the same face over over and over again that implies an obsession.
Sometimes it's good to share.
Even Cordelia can have a point every now and then.
Some people just love a view.
Very few vamps grow old enough to get a bat nose.
Just because you made her doesn't mean she'll choose you over the stallion.
Remove sharp items from a room where a crazy is.
When I bit into him I heard the ocean. Dru
Make sure you cut clean to the bone. Put the blade in the wall. Angelus
Things can't always be as they once were before.
Even evil lawyers want to help out every now and then.
We'll drain the piety right out of them. Darla
I smell fear. It's intoxicating. Dru
Instead of praying run like hell to save your necks.
It's good to have someone that understands and knows what you're going through.
Giving someone eternal life is no favor.
You can't be what you're not.
There's not enough hours in the day for brooding.
It's good to get out every now and then.
Even psycho vampires have names.
At least be polite to the vampire since he is trying to helpyou.
Do your homework when pretending to be another vamp.
If you're paid you do what the guy that's paying you tells you to do.
I could use a sweater something dark. Angel
Knitting is a handy skill and the needles make excellent weapons.
Pay attention otherwise you may end up looking like an idiot.
Know the name before you speak it.
Some color in one's wardrobe is sometimes a necessary evil.
Nobody touches the glasses or the hair doll. J Don
Remove the sunglasses before staking the vamp.
It's all about the hair and the ride.
There are two kinds of funny: funny ha ha and funny peculiur.
I hate waiting got anyone to eat around here. Angel as J Don
It's good to make sure you're not followed by the cops.
No one like a back seat surfer.
Shrouds are an after you die kind of outfit. Cordy
Some things just love to hit.
Take as much time as you need when handling nitro.
A steady pair of hands are best when dealing with nitro.
The sound coming from the basement could just be the dryer.
A lie can be told if you want to avoid the nagging.
Tea doesn't solve the problem of an obsession.
Motel public accomadations so a vamp doesn't need an invite.
When you're desperate you do what you have to do. Angel
The chase can be exhillirating. Darla
Drink when you feel my heart start to slow. Darla
When it comes to mind games vamps are amateus compared to evil lawyers.
It's polite to wipe your feet before entering.
It can be fun to throttle someone for information.
There's another way and I'll find it. Angel
If it was good news one would appear happy or at least be smiling.
Even vamps get testy at times.
It's hard to find someone that can make a good Sea Breeze.
You can't give what was already given.
To avoid confusion use names instead of pronouns.
Some people are more weirded out by a granddaugher revamping the gradmother.
As a plan standing outside the door and making remarks is a bit weak.
Whole planet pretty much made up of dirt. Cordy
A nursery is more of a birth place than a death place unlike a cemetery which is much much a dead place.
Tossing your granddaughter/mother is very rude.
It's hard to do a second staking.
It's good to have something sharp on hand.
It's a good idea to have an accurate head count so enough crab cakes are ordered.
Jumping off a building won't kill a new born vamp.
Humans tend to feel warm while vampires don't unless they've recently fed.
Pull over when a vision is in progress or at least slow down the car.
Even vamp girls love to go shopping.
What To Do If A Guy's About To Go Snap Crackle Pop
1. Take the gun away from the guy and remove the bullets.
2. Smash the radio.
3. Drop the gun into oil so it can't be used when you leave.
4. Speak soothing words like: Listen I'm not here to hurt you kid. And Morgog's not the way. Morgog couldn't find his way to his hairy spine hump without a road map. So don't go killing yourself he's not worth and you got you know many reasons to live. I bet.
Some missions are best avoided since that way leads badness.
The ringing is actually a cell phone not you.
Why settle for a spree when you can have a massacre.
Some things said are later regretted especially when it gets you dead.
It's so hard to find good help nowadays.
Be careful who you offer your hand to because you just may lose it.
Very sweet she was like clover and honey. Dru
Moisturize for beautiful skin.
It's ok to come out when the police come.
Sometimes not being able to make up your mind and staying in the dressing room can save your life.
Even a room of evil lawyers can be crouching in fear.
Some people care but don't mind dying.
In our new digs we have to put in a people cellar. Dru
Spank us till Tuesday. Rrr! We promise to be bad if you do. Dru
It's amazingly easy to not really care when it comes to locking a bunch of evil lawyers in a cellar with two hungry vamps.
Sometimes a guy will push away those he cares about such as firing to protect them from him.
If you're not in a union you can't file a grievance.
If you job doesn't have a name make one up like a Renowned Specialist in Supernatural Aid and Rescue.
Make sure you join a union or form one if there isn't one.
A gigantic trust fund helps with the healing process.
He's got cow eyes big and black. MOO! Dru
I loathe being used. Darla
Sometimes a girl just wants to have some fun.
Bragging can lead to your untimely demise.
If you're feeling frustrated go out and stake some vamps.
Make sure to order a Bloodless Bloody Mary or you may end up with actual blood in it.
I was in the neighborhood when you live fifteen miles away is a pretty weak excuse.
It's nice to share in the embarrassment with friends.
It's better to be pathetic with friends than being along in your patheticness.
Obessions don't just blow over. Wes
Drunkenness causes strange thoughts.
My ass is not pansy.
Earth to retards. You have an obsession you pretty much squeeze it into your schedule no matter what. Cordy
Stop fighting and sing and end with a group hug
Tequilla is really, really evil.
If a vision strikes on top of many Tequilla's it's pretty dumb to ask the girl if she's all right.
Finding A Girl In Danger
1. Start with the basics.
2. First examine the area for any tell tale signs of a particular kind of uugh.
3. If all else fails go with the blood trail going up the wall.
Can't a woman wreak a little havoc without there being a man involved?
Run if the lighter gets thrown into a puddle of gas unless you like the thought of going up in flames.
Break a hydrant to put the flames out.
Don't overstay your welcome.
Don't mock the symbol that was created for the business cards.
Make a logo that can't be mistaken for something else.
Dynamite can come in handy at times.
It's a good idea to put together a weapons pack with all the essentials.
Fire isn't always breathed it could come out the other end so be careful.
Demon lairs no invitation necessary. Angel
There's always an angle.
Lose the bean bag chairs and take an interior design class to get some taste.
It's polite to knock instead of slamming the door into a guy.
Just because you don't see someone in the mirror doesn't mean there isn't someone there.
Stuffy names don't go over big.
If too many uninvited guests pop up it's time to get a new lair.
You can't have a good party without a fight.
If you have no one else around rehearse with a coat rack.
It's hard to record people that are seriously paranoid.
Expect a slap in the face from the one you used.
Watch out for hanging dead plants.
Passing out flyers is a good idea but make sure you have a working phone first.
Make sure you know what you're doing before messing with the fuses unless you want to end up in the dark.
Don't dwell on fainting and that little bit of vomit just move on.
Carpet mold is unforgettable unless you actually have it.
Math is evil and only for masochists.
Sometimes there just isn't enough Lysol.
Art is it's own reward. Host
Gotta give the people hope.
It's not a really good idea to break up with a guy on your anniversary after getting a gift of jewelry and giving him a sympathy bone as a parting gift.
Some experiments fail for the benefit of humankind.
When things are gloomy stop trying so hard and just wallow.
Use candles when you don't have lights.
Sometimes you just need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in silently.
Mention the client first especially when the people are all doom and gloomy.
Money it cures everything but boredom. And food cures boredom. Virginia
Some moments are a Yeeha moment.
Yelling and throwing a book doesn't always work.
To explain your green skinned and horned demon friend just say he's a mascot.
A soury pussy mode can start to grate after awhile.
It's ok to run down a evil demon in your car.
Hitting a high note can help with fighting off the big uglies.
Some people are just clutter people.
The wheel keeps turning you can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse. Soemtimes they get better. Host
Some people just want the wheel to stop.
Notes coming one after the other is what makes music.
Sometimes it's nice to just sit down and have a beer.
Cut loose after doing a good job but don't turn away the guy that needs help.
Enjoy the quiet while you can.
It's good to specialize in something like the strange.
If you were bitten by a demon that caused a big creepy eye to appear on the back of the head that once removed leaves a bald patch wear a hat until the hair grows back to avoid embarrassment and questions that you really can't answer.
A third eye in the back of the head could be handy but it's pretty ugly.
It's kinda bitchy to say the guy didn't really help you when he gave you $2.5 million in cash.
Just walking down the sidewalk isn't a criminal offense.
A head that keeps talking once its been kicked from the body is a bad sign.
Keep a guy in the loop.
Simple plans can be quite effective although dumb ones not so much.
Killing a deall cop really isn't murder since he was already dead.
It's a good idea to have backup.
Learn martial arts so you can kick the ass of the bad guy and toss him out.
911 doesn't just mean the cops it's also for an ambulance or a fire truck.
Give words of encouragement to the guy that was shot.
If you're boxed in make your own way out like driving through the gate.
Bullets don't kill zombies.
Some jobs make you crazy.
Getting shot causes some serious pain along with a lot of blood.
Being dosed with morphine is bloody lovely.
Me well I'm just the type of guy who hates to see good blood go to waste. Angel
Some guys are just hired to do the slaughtering and saying the prayers.
When doing a ritual in Latin just sound it out since it doesn't matter if the person speaking it doesn't have a clue what's being said.
Just to be nice don't charge for the mandrake.
Some rich people are bitchy but they get slaughtered by what they refuse to believe in just like anyone else.
Lunch time is the time for lunch.
A vamp needs some time to recover from being set on fire.
There are two ways to keep blood fresh: 1. Keep it cold in the fridge. 2. Drink straight from the body.
Stock up on the yak bile so you don't run out at 10.
Be creative when you run out of ingredients.
Most anything that can manifest in order to move in this dimension can be killed. Kinda a down side of being here and that of so called musicals of Andrew Llyod Webber. Host
Some things can be sensed without being psychic.
Be polite when you go for a book.
If you've been shot in the gut don't stand up suddenly since you'll end up tearing your stiches.
Sometimes you just can't explain when people are clueless about what is out there.
You never know what you'll find at a yard sale.
That's right Angelus go towards the bleeding mortal because that's smart. Darla
The ring's not about vengeance Angelus it's about power. We'll get to the vengeance part soon. Darla
Standing up to someone is good but sometimes it's best to use a stern word instead of actually standing up.
Bandages are used to keep one's insides from falling out.
Keep mum about your wound and try not to wince or there could be more pain in your future.
Getting your guts ripped open followed by a breakup sucks big time not to mention the whole pain thing.
Sometimes you should just let the phone ring and let the machine pick up.
Have holy water handy at all times.
There's always another apocalypse to look forward to.
Some go on in one form or another with surprising results.
Sex doesn't always produced the desired results.
Hot human blood will wash away the foul memory of having a soul.
Perfect despair doesn't make the soul go away it saves you.
It's kinda rude to thank the guy that saved your life in one breath and in the next tell him to get out.
Some things are just slated to happen.
The powers aren't as specific as you may like.
If the door is open and the lights are out leave and call for help.
Some visions just aren't very helpful.
If you're in a wheelchair due to an injury put some weapons in a more accessible place to avoid owiness.
Use a broom for those out of reach weapons.
Just keep it short and sweet when you're in danger.
A scream would imply that your upstairs neighbor is home after you fired a shotgun.
Try to avoid the bumps because it hurts when you're still recovering from being shot.
A gut wound isn't a laughing matter.
Looking up things in books isn't as easy as it appears.
Saving a little girl is a good thing.
Look behind you doesn't work when someone has a third eye in the back of its head.
On a Friday night getting bitten and having a third eye on the back of the head is at the top of the list of things you don't want to do.
The place that isn't firmly on top of your head would be your ass.
You bond when you fight shoulder to shoulder
The word pad can also mean message pad.
Use a pencil to make a rubbing of the last thing written down or you could just read the carbon.
If a bunch of demons come y our way it's a good idea to motor.
It's not fun being mowed down by a lawyer in a truck.
Get off the street to avoid being run over again.
Some words are best avoided in certain situations.
A sledgehammer is excellent for smashing a plastic hand.
Sometimes you get caught when you're trying to rescue someone.
Everyone feels like an idiot at times.
Sometimes you just need to sit and absorb.
Man atonement's a bitch. Angel
Words can hurt even a vampire.
Change is good sometimes. Harmony
It's a good idea to let a person know about an old friend who is now a vampire.
Give someone the benefit of the doubt before condemning one.
Giving a person the night off tends to be done by the boss.
Drinking too much may cause strange things to pop out of the mouth.
Pizza is the cure to hunger for humans while blood is the cure for vamps.
Apologizing is a good first step.
Look into the concept of person space.
Gum chewing and popping can be annoying.
Don't rip out a page from a book to put your gum in especially if it's a very old book that can't be replaced.
Even vamps can be sucked into the whole pyramid scheme thing.
Well yeah like takes funny turns sometimes. Cordy
Spilling blood on the keyboard is very bad.
Some nicknames fit really well.
Just because a girl's named Harmony doesn't mean she has any.
A O Neg at Caritas is superb.
Go nuts do 'em both when you can't decide on one song.
No woohooing in the back seat along with excessive chatting.
If you want to fight evil killing or maiming humans tends to be a big no no.
A vampire with a soul is better than one without one.
Some vamps can sense a soul.
Watch out evil here comes Harmony! Harmony
Tune out all mental road blocks.
Picking a lock is a good skill to have.
A crossbow through the throat won't kill a vamp but it'll hurt like hell but the second one aimed at the heart will do the trick.
It's nothing personal I'm evil. Harmony
No one likes to hear I told you so. Doug
Be willing to give a person space for as long as they need it.
People need time to heal.
To get a certain girl to forgive you give her a bunch of new clothes.
Having a gay man's taste can come in handy big time.
Visions featuring a guy poking out his eyes takes a lot out of a girl.
Calling hospitals to ask if your uncle checked in with a knife in his eye just won't work.
Hospitals only give out information to relatives.
Speaking up can sometimes land you with the calling up places job.
Calling Hospital Tips
1. You need a name.
2. Say your uncle might have had a maniac episode.
3. Have a story to gain the person's sympathy so they'll spill.
People asking if they can get you anything just means they care.
A small gesture that shows you care is getting a bunch of food so you don't have to ask that dreaded question.
A smiling vamp is a nice sight.
Happy people don't put knives in their eyes.
Just because a guy is an evil lawyer doesn't mean he can't be talented in singing and playing guitar no matter how much you may despise him.
When you gotta sing pick something short.
Don't joke about singing Stairway To Heaven.
Music can be enjoyed by all demons and humans alike.
Resentment is such an ugly emotion. Host
Detectives find out stuff.
NCIC: National Crime and Information Center
When you're in charge your methods aren't questioned.
If you're a detective you shouldn't have to hire a PI when you should have a friend on the force.
It really helps to have a friend on the force.
Parole officers tend to see a lot of scumbags.
A little gratitude goes a long way towards the person who saved your life.
It isn't always about killing evil lawyer boy.
You need to learn to play with others.
A vamp could live off a guy for a month.
Some people are great at moping.
Put the bad guy in the trunk.
Never leave home without your laptop.
Step out of the way when a guy wants to break the window.
Work off some of that aggression. Angel
Things don't always work out like you think. Angel
To have a little fun put a sign on the back of the truck that says Cops Suck which so isn't the least bit immature.
Some people will only try raw fish when Hell freezes over.
Oh yeah the public thing it happens when you go where the people are. Gunn
Bright and open places lead to staring.
I'm not cheap I'm just old. I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a buffalo, and a tavern wench. Angel
Some sources are he/it.
Imported wine goes straight to the head.
If using a flamethrower avoid tight spots so you don't burn your fellow fighters.
When you're the boss you get the final say.
Sometimes it's best not to call attention to yourself especially when you're after a big nasty Haaklar.
Don't jump to conclusions about a shawl until you get a good look at it.
If you get sick at the dinner table it can't hurt to ask if it'll be taken off the bill.
Don't gawk while on the beach set even if it makes you feel like you're outside.
If the director is an ass give him a piece of your mind.
Just because you're a director doesn't make you God.
It's not a good idea to ask the specs of a demon unless you want to actually hear about it otherwise just ask how to kill it since it's a much shorter answer.
It really sucks to be doing a number and have a ugly demon ruin it after popping out of a portal.
Horrible. Not the Haaklar the power walkers. I mean walking I get but power walking why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Angel
It really sucks when a power walker attacks you after you save her from a demon because she was offended by you killing it.
Libraries aren't Snoresville.
I don't do big and crowded.
Don't open a strange book and start reading from it.
Those willing to submit to traing can track demons by reading its waves.
Your mind can be channeled to identify a demon's aura and it can also be used to help people find their destinies.
Don't mock Landock because he doesn't like it.
Patience not really a virture with my people. Lorne
You don't always have time for a plan.
The Draakan's bite contains a powerful venom deadly to my people. The antidote is back in Pylea. Lorne
It's pretty difficult to use a sword when you can't raise your arm.
Calling a Draakan a kitty is pretty darn silly.
A sword thrown through the head tends to do the trick when you want to kill something.
Sometimes you just know.
Just in case burn your buddy that got attacked by a vamp.
There's obviously not gonna be any big swirly hole jumping without a big swirly hole. Wes 

Putting a note on a parking meter that says it's broken is a good way to avoid paying.
If you specialize in things not of the norm it's understandable to be a little obsessed with demons.
I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives but we have work demands. Wes
Who's got time for love when you're out there doing it with the demons? Gunn
Thinking before you speak can be a good thing especially if want you say comes out so very wrong.
You should go to Vegas and get hammered instead of going to Sri Lanka.
Killing demon monks can be theraputic.
Don't forget to bring gifts back from your vacation/spiritual quest.
Rats have beady eyes with beady teeth and they have little tails that go swish swish so avoid them at all costs.
Sometimes a scream is a happy scream.
A girl loves a necklace that brings out her breasts.
Venturing Into The World
1. Take small steps.
2. Coming downstairs and hanging with the others for a while.
3. Nothing to be scared of.
4. You're safe here in the hotel.
You don't have to write absolutely everything down. Angel
The screaming can also imply a vision which takes a lot out of a girl.
Life's about making choices. Elizabeth
If you really love somone you'd be willing to die to save the person.
Visions can be deadly especially if you're human.
Girls have a stronger threshold for pain than guys.
Life's full of surprises.
If a girl's still wearing the locket after two hundred plus years it's the forever kind of love.
Real detectives have sources.
Some weapons are real dust catchers.
Don't put the hurling axe in the basement.
Coming out of your room is good but sometimes you should stay in there.
If the vamp doesn't go poof it's not over.
The Cure: The heart gets cut out which renders the vamp invincible to sunlight and stakes for six something then he dies.
If your coat gets caught on something when you're on the run just leave it behind.
Lay a false trail with blood.
The subway sounds grumbly when in the sewer.
A cell phone sounds really loud when you're in the sewer.
You get crappy reception in the sewer.
Just because you caught the train doesn't mean that you're home free.
Crutches can make a handy weapon.
You honor your love's memory by continuing the fight.
A drink could actually hurt instead of help.
Add lemon to spice up the blood.
If you can grade sincerity you can come out from under the table.
It takes time to get used to using a fork after being trapped in a Hell dimension.
Even evil lawyers can have great taste in clothes and shoes.
Tell the evil lawyer to piss off.
Building violations just doesn't seem all that scary.
I've been forking with gun.
Some things have double meanings so get your mind out of the gutter.
H is a fascinating letter. Fred
Figure out what the demon is afterwards.
Next time we hitting the last place first. Gunn
Don't use the word Dick say Detective or PI.
Fancy flipping and a little hollering may not intimidate but the claws popping out is creepy.
You can't ignore what's happening. Angel
Killer visions are: Gross. Yuck. Unclean.
Trust the guy with the idea especially if he has a big brain.
Hey I just follow orders not matter how tough the job is.
Some people are a big fan of Sound of Music and demons too like Lorne for instance.
Exterminating as a rule doesn't happen at night.
Just because you're snippy and bitchy at times doesn't make you a bad person.
An excpetion can be made on that whole no killing humans rule.
The good guys should wear lapel pins or something.
The coin and the key they actually work together to transport you in and out of the dimension.
Any mission involved with Wolfram & Hart can't be good.
Stick the key through the coin to open the portal. Your weapons unfortunately won't make the trip with you.
Sure 'cause it'd be too easy if I could defend myself. Angel
Sometimes you need to agree to disagree.
If something goes wrong pop goes the weasel.
Sometimes a girl just feels like cooking like Eggos for instance.
You have to deal with the consequences when they happen.
If a vampire gets pregnant anything is possible.
Men are such babies. Darla
There's a first time for everything just because something has worked in the past doesn't mean it'll always work.
How To Apologize
1. Don't bring notes. It totally detracts from the whole sincerity thing.
2. Practice and memorize the notes that have been written down for you so you sound real.
3. Be sincere even if it kills you.
4. Buying donuts always helps since who doesn't enjoy donuts.
5. The most important thing is to use your own words or be one fine actor to make it seem real.
Even a demon can be traumatized after being upside down in the sewer which lands him a ticket to Therapy Land.
Any demon violence is impossible in Caritas. Lorne
People sometimes need time alone but five years is way too much.
Being sucked into a Hell dimension makes a girl uneasy about going out into the world once she's back at home.
You wouldn't bring donuts to someone you were planning to kill.
Things aren't always so simple as just going out and slaying the big bad ugly. There are in this world there are shades of gray.
Killing randomly isn't such a great idea.
Just because one isn't human doesn't make it evil.
There are enough monsters in LA without a portal opening up.
Sometimes words may be taken literally so be careful of the wording.
Killing demons is well and good but you shouldn't have fun doing it.
Don't pick a song called Crazy to sing.
Humans can do the whole violence thing in Caritas.
Don't judge a guy by his skin and horns.
People can be monsters too.
Losing the mission isn't good.
Man we used to face death because we had to. Now you go chasing it down now for the fun it. That ain't right. Gunn
Practice your shooting skills.
It's about the mission.
Some guys deserve getting their heads bitten off.
A lecture sounds different coming from an English guy.
No you'll prove I can trust you when the day comes you have to kill me and you do. Angel
It's nice to take a stroll.
A bargain hunter enjoys the two for one deal.
Jumbo popcorn is a must at the movies.
I'm not a eunuch. Angel.
Set the girl who has a crush on your straight.
$350 for a six month trial membership at a gym isn't a good deal.
Sometimes the job has perks like questioning some cute guys.
Pilates was like Tae Bo in 1999.
Live in the now.
I'm a private investigator. I work with a team. Angel
Signs That Angel Isn't Himself
1. Be very suspcious if your friend is acting very strange.
2. He doesn't call you doll.
3.  Angel as a rule doesn't go for hugs.
4. Angel usually doesn't eat food.
5. Angel wouldn't be paying for the food since he's cheap.
Tips On Letting A Crush Down Gently
1. Keep it simple.
2. You're not like other men. Mention the whole curse thing that seperates you from other men.
3. No romance in the workplace.
4. It's a good policy to knock since you never know what you may walk into.
5. Don't avoid the talk although if you wait to long you may get out of it.
There's something about brewed tea that you simply can not replicate with a bag. Wesley
Just because it appears to be a guy's name doesn't mean it's a guy.
Escort is the classy way of saying hooker.
All men pretty much are dogs.
Angel Doesn't
1. He doesn't flirt.
2. He doesn't get hot and heavy with evil lawyer chick.
3. He is well aware that he's a vampire so he doesn't need to do homework on the subject.
Pretty Skany Woman is a more accurate title for a movie about a hooker.
It's very trashy to be with one guy and then go off with another especially if he's your boyfriend.
Not everyone likes to be bitten.
Make sure you get permission before bitting
When you're trapped in the body of a really old guy you tend not to be as mobile.
A tazer is handy when you need to knock someone out.
The downside to being a old guy is the need to pee often and the multiple heart attacks.
Your heart grows weak if you don't use it.
Heartache and disappoint are best avoided.
Be careful of how you treat the weapons.
If you want to know the time get a watch.
Love isn't always enough.
Some people like the sewers.
Flash cards can come in handy.
You really should know the difference between a small Rodentias demon and a poodle before you spear it.
We can find anyone. Gunn
Tips On Running Away
1. Choose a new name to reinvent yourself. Oragimi Plastic is already taken but there are endless possiblities.
2. It's a good idea to pick a place to go so you aren't at the bus station wondering where to go since you just may get caught in the act.
3. If possible have money since you need money wherever you decide to go.
The word fat doesn't always imply to a person's weight since it could be phat which is a totally different thing.
Sometimes your aura just screams.
A cell phone ringing is a dark sewer can startle a person so put a ring tone on it to make it less scary.
Why force a showdown when you don't have to?
Wait to tell the story later if you don't end up dead.
Use a bus to make road kill of the nasty demon.
Use bleach after touching a nasty demon head.
A person that is excited about being patched up is a dork.
Angel's the champion and Wesley's the brains of the operation. And Gunn's the muscle. And Cordy's the brain. Fred
No one ever laughs in the morgue.
Build a condon in the sewer for y our vamp friend.
It's possible to pretty much feel all the different emotions there are all at the same time.
Throw away the shirt with bug guts away or keep it as a memento but laminate it or frame it or something to avoid a smell.
It's best to make an exit before you go all runny.
Great Parents Do's And Don'ts
1. Being very nice is key since no one likes mean parents.
2. They were parents. Being an actual parent is a plus.
3. Loving is also a key ingredient.
4. Being supportive is most important since you can really end up messed up if no one is supportive of you.
5. Don't grind into a tiny self conscious nub.
6. Constant berating is very, very bad.
7. No one wants to hear a never ending tirade of debasement and scorn.
8. Don't lock your kids in the closet.
Things are just never normal around here. Cordy
A nice quiet kind of crazy is very soothing.
I could soothe your ass off pal. Cordy
Anyone would be crazy if they had eggs in the head.
A random thought can lead to quite the handy invention.
When painting if you go vertically you get those ugly drops.
It never hurts to be prepared. Cordy
If you want to know the cute girl better ask her over for dinner without the others.
If you like the girl just tell her.
Avoid looking at crime scene photos if possible.
To get into a walled estate you could sneak in as security guards or jump over the really high fence while the others wait for you outside.
I'd talk to you with my finger but I like both hands on the wheel while I'm driving. Cop Chick
You can't barge into a police precint and go all Terminator. Cordy
Rough up the asshole that says the beaten woman had is coming.
If the mild mannered English guy starts acting odd run like hell especially if he's been handling evil blood. 
Rules On Dealing With Evil Men Like Billy
1. Never leave him alone with your girlfriend.
2. Keep him away from your pets.
3. Don't ever let him touch you. Like if he wants money leave it on the table and walk away.
4. Remember that his evil mojo works through saliva, blood, and touch.
Some guys are melodramatic.
Melodrama is exaggerated emotion.
Know the difference between a demo and reality.
Lose the shoes when you're hiding from a man gone crazy from evil blood.
Set a trap for the guy who's coming after you with an axe.
When hiding under a bed keep very quiet.
Poke him with something sharp followed by a swift kick to the groin followed by more running.
Pants are not just for guys.
Knock the guy out so he doesn't hurt you.
It takes time but you get used to being creeped out and comforted at the same time

You aren't responsible for your actions when you're under the influence of evil blood.
Even a guy needs to cry sometimes.
Bring a little bloom into the darkness of the basement with fake flowers.
I'm a vampire you can't hurt me. Angel
Breaking and entering is such a negative term. They're simply retrieving some missing pieces from the Niassin Scroll just to make sure that the end is coming. Angel
Breaking And Entering
Step One: Dobbermans are happily gnawing on steak. Alarm and vid lines are disabled. No infrared. Caught a break there.
Step Two: We cut a hole in the glass, snake the mini cam in, scan the interior. If it's all clear, we disable lock bolts on the side door thus completing step three.
Note: Check door to see if it's unlocked before going through the steps.
If I was priceless I'd be in the vault. Gunn
Juggle the Cyopian Conjuring Orbs to make the guy talk and drop at least one.
Always want to give them a big finish. Gunn
Be careful who you offer blood to.
A kicking in the tummy isn't the first sign of hysteria.
A book doesn't always provide the answer.
Be carful who you talk in front of since it can bite you in the ass.
Cover demons and humans when you do a no violence spell.
If a green guy feels blue he could eventually turn aquamarine.
Born out of darkness to bring darkness. Lorne
Being pregnant and a vampire doesn't make her less of a vampire.
We put out heads together and figure out how to fight this thing. Wes
Lying and deception really piss off a girl.
We tried to sto her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces. Gunn
Oh I love children. I could just eat 'em up. Darla
Teach the vampire how to use voice mail.
Don't leave home without your pager.
You may have the face but you don't have the hunger. It pounds. You can't make it go away. You can't stop it. Darla
A pregnant vampire gets super strong and has a thirst that can't be sated.
You can't strangle a vampire.
It's rude to throw the cup of pig's blood at the wall.
Gosh I'm the luckiest vampire girl in the whole world. Darla
Having a soul doesn't always mean good.
Nothing says romance like sharing a baby.
Know when to shut up.
If the baby is being protected nothing can hurt it.
A really big mallet can come in handy.
Punch the vamp bitch that bit you.
You need to figure out the whole situation before making a move.
Even a vamp who likes pain doesn't like the whole labor thing.
Get a demony doctor that knows the vamp girl parts.
It's a bad idea to hold your hand over a flame since it could lead to burning and major owieness.
Don't mention two heads during an ultrasound.
We're surrouned by vampires actually means that.
Don't let them kill us sounds like a good first step. Gunn.
Remember that vampires have great hearing.
Raised up from darkness to bring darkness turns out be Holtz a blast from the very distant pass like two hundred years ago and he hasn't aged a day.
Things can change a lot where two men switch places one turns evil while the other one is now good.
Vampires may not breath but they are prone to mood swings and threats of tossing people out of the car.
A smack tends to hurt but it can wake a person up.
A tire iron not only works for fixing a flat tire it can work as a weapon when you're surrounded.
Some demons are really dumb that's why they hire themselves out as minions.
Holy water doesn't work on evil lawyers ironically.
A grenade comes in handy whe you need to make a quick exit.
Most vamps tend to be free range evil but there are exceptions to the rule.
Don't highlight an ancient scroll unless you're using a yellow highlighter.
Well when it comes to sacred prophecies it's always gonna be more of a interpretation than a strict translation.
Gorge entrails behind the bar next to the marachinos. Lorne
Scary things tend to be used to giving people quite a scare.
You don't just get half a miracle do you? Angel
Honsty isn't always the best policy.
If the baby stops kicking that's not a good sign.
You lied much better when you didn't have a soul. Darla
It's handy to have a pal that can read a guy when he's singing.
You can be outside and chuck things inside Caritas to make the place go up in flames.
Sometimes vamp strength is essential in making your escape.
Sometimes it's not always ok.
Baby Proof Hotel
1. Safety covers for the outlets.
2. Kid proof the locks on the weapons cabinet.
If your place gets destroyed twice come on over to the hotel since someone has to get the blame and you need a place to live.
As a new daddy you're a little stingy with the holding.
If you don't know what it is and it's sharp go ahead and throw it.
You need space to change a diaper.
Keep the S-E-X talk away from the baby.
New fangled diapers with fasteners are quite handy when you know how to use them
Know Who Poses Threat To The Baby
1. Holtz
2. Wolfram & Hart
3. Vamp Cult
4. More Ninjas
May Pose Threat To Baby
1. Order of Phillius
2. Beltar the Cremator
3. Piper Beast
4. Frank: local mobster that specializes in kidnapping
5. The Scourge
6. Lilliard Demons: they make a broth from the bones of human children, strong magick linked to lunar cycle
Babies cry a lot so patience is key.
Erase can also mean squish and kill in a violent kind of way.
Putting a stake in a vamp which causes him to go poof is a classic.
Sometimes there is only one step although there tend to be more steps most of the time.
Soulless beasts tend to be bred to maim and kill.
Ask for help even if you need it even though you want to do it all yourself.
A fire bomb is a loophole around the Sanctuary Spell.
Always install an emergency exit down in the sewers a mystical barrier that opens and closes with a password.
The Pylean word for hedge hog means something different in English and causes one to giggle.
Newborns Needs
1. Needs to see a Dr
2. Needs a newborn checkup
3. Needs a Vitamin K shot and a PKU test
4. To circumcise or not to circumsise
If your green pal hears a hum something is up.
Flourescent lights with green skin or any skin is all bad.
Big blank stares are a big fat no to your questions.
There is always a technicality.
Evil guys that like kids are creepy.
Stop Crying
1. Try the teddy bear
2. Sing to him
3. Talk to him in soothing tones
4. Make faces
5. As a last resort go with vamp face which will soothe him
Not everyone is a day person.
Major blood loss tends not to be the result of a mugging.
Ah oh I got some earplugs put 'em in and slept like a baby. Cried and wet the bed all night. Lorne
Shaping your hate into an instrument of vengeance may sound like fun but it won't be.
Sitting around waiting to die isn't much of a plan.
Put on a good show and provide a distraction to keep the baby safe.
A flame thrower is key when killing the big nasties.
A teddy bear in a blanket can be mistaken for a baby.
A sacrifice may be required to save a life so think fondly on the teddy bear who blew up.
Every kid needs a name and in modern times also a last name.
Being a bargain hunter is a good thing.
The one who does the blowing up should clean up his scorch marks.
Less yammering more scrub. Gunn
You should always keep Extra Stength Ick Remover around to clean up the inevitable ick.
Dirty people not touching the baby. Angel
Champions do important things.
It's not a good sign when you pop out of your body after having a vision.
If you're out of your body you can't be heard.
A mystical problem should have a mystical solution.
Ghosts don't sit they tend to be more of floating types.
Some girls don't like talking about their underwear.
Things aren't always hidden in the underwear drawer.
Contacting the powers is a muddy not to mention dangerous area. Lorne
Try jumping into a body when the person's asleep so you can write a message on the wall but be quick since you'll pop out.
Sometimes the fancy way of saying something sounds better.
The horn grows back in a couple of days but it still hurts to have it ripped off.
The conduit is a bunch of annoying voices.
Leaving too soon can leave you with the wrong idea.
Higly organized peole don't forget things.
When a guy is flustered he may have some slips of the tongue.
Don't do a Retrieval Spell especially if you've spilled Diet Coke and have to improvise since you'll end up summoning a no eyed demon instead of daddy.
Getting an alternate reality may be good for you but bad for those you care about like Wes losing an arm, Angel getting the visions and all crazy in his room, and Fred is still stuck in Pylea.
Some things never change like the need to consult books.
Repression can be a good thing.
The suckiest job in the world can sometimes pay the bills.
Get a piggy bank for your change and don't forget to check behind the cushions.
Bold and tasteful aren't always exclusive.
Check the flyers to make sure the right phone number is on it before you pass them all out.
This town's full of people who have problems. Angel
It really sucks when you call for help and you get a pizza place.
You can only have one number one priority.
Don't spread yourself too thin.
Everyone has their odd quirks which can include flying nuns.
Feeling something is better than feeling nothing.
Keep a paper and pen handy for incoming calls.
The dad can stalk to if he's a zombie.
Some vamps prefer money to blood.
If someone puts a screwdriver through your hand pull it out.
Check to make sure the check is good before doing the job.
Don't work on too many cases at once.

There should be someone to hold down the fort.
Firewater is another way to say liquor or alcohol.
Special Firewater is used to loosen the tongue of my Garwak snitch. They light the water on fire and there's chanting and a bong and look out Houston. Lorne
Your breath gets stinky after drinking the special firewater.
Be weary if fifty grand is offered but accept it.
Knowing You Belong Together According To Gunn And Wes
1. It just feels comfortable.
2. You read all the same science journals.
3. You laugh at the same dumb jokes.
Dead Guy Stalking Possibilities
1. Witchcraft
2. Black magick
3. Voodoo
4. Zombie efication
5. Demon possession
6. Even vampirism
7. Why because perhaps there's something he wants to tell you or maybe he just wants to eat your brain.
Flesh eating zombies are a myth.
Zombies merely mangle, mutilate, and ocassionally wear human flesh so there's no reason to be frightened. Wes
Oh I really couldn't I had eyeballs and insects for breakfast.
The taking of trophies from your victims is lame but a nice try with the spooky lair.
Make sure to secure the sky light as well as the entrances.
Try talking to the zombie so he can have closure.
Nobody likes a puting dead guy zombie.
Never read a girl's diary.
Forgiving the girl who posioned and killed you is kinda sweet in a morbid kinda way.
I don't fight unless I get paid. Angel
There is more to being a champion than good deeds and happy endings.
Sometimes being really smart can cause you to lose your head.
All members of the team need their heads attached.
It's important to know if things have groins but be careful if they are made of tin cans.
If you cut off the snake's head you piss the other snakes off.
Money's important but it's not everything. Angel
What's important is family and the mission. Angel
There's gotta be some fun in our lives. Cordy
Crush Signs
1. You daydream
2. Googlie eyes
3. You have seen nothing lovelier
4. Find her graceful
5. So full of life and those eyes make you feel like you're the only man in the world.
6. Make your move when the iron is hot.
Stop feeling your hot iron and make a move.
A girl likes a complimentary every now and then.
If something slips be a gentlement and pretend you didn't hear.
Some smiles are scary.
I saw their production of Gisselle in 1890. I cried like a baby and I was evil. Angel
Gunn On Ballet
This is tutus and guys with their big ass packages jumping up and down.
Seeinging a real ballet live it's like another world. Angel
Don't use a guy's phrase when the trust is gone.
Don't mention having your first sexual dream about the Mouse King.
Even guys worry about what they wear and how they look.
Some guys don't want to be called pastries.
Make sure you're aware of which iron is hot.
Try something new you may find yourself loving it.
I'm just gonna have to go with my patented sudden burst of violence. Angel
A punch to the face is quite effective and it doesn't cost you a dime.
Reach out for the girl's hand but make sure you don't grab the other guy who is reaching for the same girl's hand since that can be awkward.
A moan can mean someone's in pain or someone's in fun so know the difference.
It's time to run when the guy who's not supposed to be too happy looks really hot so run away from the room where you are posessed by horny spirits.
Have the ballerina change the ending to end the spell so all the dancers can finally rest in peace.
Often the power center is in the form of a necklace.
Yeah you love her that much start a website. Angel
Making googlie eyes can make the pain go away.
Be careful how you say somethinng so it doesn't come out wrong.
It sucks when the girl kisses another guy.
You can't always predict things.
A trick of the light they don't actually get smaller until they're very, very old. Lorne
His birth was foretold how many people can say that. Angel
Some guys don't like their weapons handled.
Everything being so bright that your eyes hurt is a sure sign that you're falling hard for the cute girl.
An experienced warrior should be an asset unless you're a little jealous and you get the feeling that you're being single white maled what with him wearing your clothes and having the exact same haircut.
If something is wounded it bleeds which is way better than bread crumbs.
Where's a piece of jewelry that will allow you to go out in the sunlight when you need it?
It really sucks when you can't do a damn thing except for standing there and watching.
If you're engaged for eight years that doesn't mean your guy won't cheat on you.
If Witchcraft's involved we should look into it. Wes
Witchcraft doesn't automatically mean evil.
Office romances can be complicated but go for it since the options are limited in your line of work.
Three isn't very one of a king.
The strength isn't in the hair it's in the muscles.
Be careful with the porn sites since you may be doing cyber sex with a big old tree demon.
Lay off the smoochies until off hours or you're not on a stakeout.
Just smile at the guy wearing your clothes that looks way too much like you.
Being lonely really sucks.
It's handy to have the video camera on so you can replay it and find out what happened.
Having a tree suck you down into the ground is not a good thing.
Demon Brothel Enchanted Room: Everything that happens in there every touch, every emotion, every desire is extended for maximum pleasure. Book for that special someone.
Some guys are happy to be in chains.
Your coat is singing. Groo
Don't go charging in and yelling since that's a sure way to get impaled along with a ruined shirt that isn't even your's to begin with.
It's a good idea to take a nice, long, warm bath after being sucked under ground by a crazy tree demony thing.
It sucks when you're not the chosen one.
It's a bit annoying when the girl doesn't believe who really saved the day.
Keeping mum makes you the true champion.
Just look at your beautiful baby boy to feel better.
You can't believe everything you translate especially when it comes to a prophecy.
Number the pages so you don't lose track of the order in case they get knocked off the desk.
The noise from a vaccum cleaner can soothe a baby with colic.
Place a recording of it in the crib if you have other kids.
Always better to have a second pair of ears to see if any questions were forgotten.
Remember to let go of the doctor's hand when you thank him.
Memorize the credit card number so you can buy things off the web.
No one likes a bigot since things aren't always black and white.
The once good can turn evil and the evil one good and no soul can be used as an excuse for the human.
If the wizard won't do it because it's the right thing to do add an obsene of money to get the job done.
Too much book staring can be crazy making.
Go out for a walk.
Relax after all the work you've done.
Matching making while sweet may not always be a good idea when the guy only has eyes for you.
We're not here to date we're here to do a job.
Bogus Half Assed Recon
1. Look for anything suspicious.
2. Look for small dark places where somebody could get grabbed.
3. Black out vans or cars.
4. Pale bumpy people with sharp teeth.
5. Always be aware of your surroundings.
6. Just because the sun is up doesn't mean you can't run into vamps although it's not likel unless you go somewhere dark.
It's not too greedy to want the great girl and the great job.
There are different kinds of tingles.
A guy breaking into a building tends to be suspcisous.
Never leave especially when you really like the guy.
After a double slaying it's nice to hug you honey.
Don't talk to the hamburger until all the people have left unless you want some idiots to laugh at you.
A hamburger can be a statue.
Evil hamburgers can't be taken literally since it's not clear cut devouring his child means the pig's blood is spiked in cryptic speak.
Stand up to the cranky hamburger.
If you're not sleeping very well try some Chamomile tea.
Don't say yes when the woman who's in bed with the enemy asks you out although the lonely part was a nice touch.
Apparently humans are good for killing if associated with the vamp you have a mad on for.
Cutting out a guy's tongue is lame not to mention positively so dark ages.
Some have trouble making the distinction between who is an enemy and who isn't.
Prophecies are iffy and can be messed with.
The low scary voice can give one trouble when trying to be convinced of their believability.
Sometimes you just got to go for it.
Emotions can cloud your judgement but they can also make you stronger.
Some things are worth the risk.
If you translate a prophecy that says, "The father will kill the son" for the love of Zeus tell someone.
You pick them up when they fuss. Angel.
The best thing about owning a hotel is there's plenty of rooms. Angel
I say we put a chain and a combination lock on the weapons better safe than sorry.
Do your homework before you declare humans evil
On come on take it like a demon. Angel
Signs That The Blood's Been Spiked
1. Increased strength
2. Drinking more
3. Mood swings
4. Your son starts to smell like food
Hey vampire needs to drink something red doesn't make me a bloodaholic. Angel
If you want to talk to someone don't stalk him.
A mirror doesn't always tell you when someone's coming up behind you.
You know Lilah there are so many things I could do to you. With transfussions I could keep you alive indefintely. I do have some expertise in this area. My own son. How could you? Angel
Evil people do evil things like spiking your pig's blood with a touch of your son's blood.
Evil lawyers always pay for the drinks.
Try talking to someone like a person you just may be surprised at how well it tends to work.
The thing about a game face Lilah you wear it long enough it stops being something you can put on and take off. Angel
It's strange to be declared a sworn enemy when you never met and don't remember swearing.
Be careful who you hum in front of .
Did you come here to fight or should I make some tea? Angel
Doing a screeching thing followed by punching and kicking when as a rule you aren't big about the fighting thing is sometimes a necessary evil.
Don't trust the psycho chick since you could very well end up with a slit throat.
Emotions running high can make a guy go a little nuts especially when an innocent baby is involved.
Be ready by having a baseball bat handy.
Signs That He's Gone For Good And Finding Out Why
1.  No toothbrush.
2. No razor.
3. No Mossberg 12 guage he kept in the closet.
4. There had to be a reason for his betrayal.
5. Diaries can hold the answers.
6. If he hasn't answered the first 40 times it's unlikely he'll answer but keep trying just in case.
7. Also he might not be answering because his throat was slashed.
If you're incoporeal you don't have much of a handshake.
To avoid confusion file in a system where anyone could find what they're looking for.
If you find a guy with his throat slit at least call 911 before you rob him.
If you don't have the resources to conjure up the dark power kidnap a bigwig from Wolfram & Hart.
Even though it's been a while since you tortured someone it all comes flooding back when the need arises.
Good Torturing Tips
1. Sharp things to be used for poking.
2. Wolfram & Hart employees barely qualify as human.
3. Sometimes all it takes is bringing a sharp object close to the eye to make him talk.
Violence isn't always the answer but it often is.
For some people there's just no happy.
Even a psycho can have a moment of compassion.
Remember that there comes a price with the whole dark mojo.
It's better to look in one dumpster than the whole dump.
Instead of painting the pentagram on the floor use some butcher paper to avoid a stain that will be impossible to remove.
Some people are just gluttons for punishment.
The Quor-toth can only be opened on time if it's tried again the whole universe could go kablooey.
It's pretty freaky the first time you see your name in a true prophecy. All carved in blood on an official scroll. Sahjean
It's all in the wording.
The one sired by the vampire with a soul shall grow to manhood.
You do the best you can with the info you have.
Some things are pretty impossible to forgive even if it was done out of love with the best intentions.
If a client has a strange name spell it phonetically so others won't have such a problem.
Still times like these, it's good to keep busy. Throw yourself into work, stay active. Lorne
Everyone has a phobia about something.
Even demons sometimes need reading glasses.
Never sell your soul for a truck no matter how cool the truck is.
Be careful about signing away your soul since it'll come back and bite you on the ass.
When you fall in love you pass your soul to that person
Remember that if you do black magick there is a price to pay so be willing to pay it.
Tell someone that you plan to steal away the baby before actually doing it.
Don't trust a pyscho even if she is a girl and looks beaten since you may end up with a slit throat.
Don't feel guilty about being happy while someone you care about is in the dumps big time.
Pancakes and waffles can be the way to a girl's heart.
Having your soul removed really really hurts.
Let people know that someone can by since it could be very important.
There's no need to state the obvious.
Who's a guy gotta kill to talk to the boss around here? Angel
Keep up on the demon killing and if all fails sic the entire casino on the guy.
The great guy that loves you makes you melt.
Pomegranite mist is the wrong color for a hotel room.
Maybe you'd like a change you know for a change. Fred
Don't mock the guy with good color sense.
Sunburst Splendor is a hue more worthy of a champion or perhaps Purple.
If something is all burnt up throw it out.
It does snow in certain parts of California.
If you don't have any cases you can't neglect them.
Somebody outta be downstairs in case a walk in should walk in 'cause uh we get those sometimes. Angel
Sometimes it's better to call first to avoid badness such as turning into a big pile of sand.
If you have a pentagram painted on the floor paint the floor red so it blends in.
You don't mess with dark magicks and expect to walk away like it didn't matter. Cordy
There's always some cosmic price to using dark magick.
Everyone needs to vent now and then.
When soaking and scrubbing doesn't work you've got a serious case of ring around the lobby buy a big ass throw rug or maybe a piece of furniture to cover it up.
Doing what it takes is what you need to do at times no matter the cost.
Juice bars don't take credit cards.
Ebola is forged in monkey poo.
Alcohol gets out the sluggy thing.
Time goes by faster in Hell dimensions.
I command you close doesn't close the rift even though you have discovered new powers.
The worst spot in Hell is reserved for those who betray.
Being raised in a Hell dimension makes you different like collecting body parts for instance.
If a fat guy asks you if you want to play teddy bear in the hole run away of if you're up for it beat him senseless.
Do's And Don'ts Of New World
 1. Don't point your crossbow launcer thing at your father and pull the trigger.
 2. Lose the animal skins and the the parts since it's nice to slice off a person's ear even if he is a big asshole.
 3. Talk to someone since you need time to adjust and someone to help you out while you figure out this new world.
 4. Don't run into the street and jump onto the top of a moving bus since that's just not done not to mention people will think you are totally nuts.
 5. Do clean up since dirty isn't appealing especially if it comes along with stinky.
 6. Even if a guy's an asshole doesn't mean you should kill him unless it's self defence.
 7. Try new things like choclate since it's one of the best things in the world.
 8. A spoon may not be used for eating since it can be used for other things like oh say drugs.
 9. It's good to make friends.
10. Actually give your dad a chance to prove he's not evil.
11. Kissing is fun but the girl dying not so much.
12. In LA you don't have to pull your knives when something wakes you up.
13. The white stuff in the packet is very bad stuff quite deadly in fact.
14. You're more like your father than you realize it whether you want to admit it or not.
15. Don't punch your father since all he's guilty of is loving you.
Being a dimensional magick expert has a side effect where you are there one minute and poof you end up elsewhere.
Don't believe the evil man who is the one responsible for you growing up in a Hell dimension.

Talking doesn't always work especially when a guy is missing an ear the violence is a given.
If you're missing an ear try wearing a hat.
A tear in reality big cosmic no no. Mistress Meerna
Use goggles to avoid getting smutz in your eyes.
A hat can also be used for a bad hair day.
If the so called evil vampire saves your life that's a pretty good sign that he's not so evil after all.
If you survivied a Hell dimension you can pretty much take care of yourself.
You need to put money in the metal box or beat up the box to get some food.
It's good to have something to look forward to like killing something.
Well sometimes nothing is the best something. If a thing's meant to be sometimes it's best to just let it happen rather than try to force it. Lorne
If a thing's mean to be then how can it be faced? Groo
Some people are sneaky with the subtext.
Some calls can't be held.
Vamps like to dance too.
Hesitating can be a good thi ng.
Good reflexes are a must. 
Angel's Advice About Vamps
They don't need to breathe or make any sound. You gotta be careful.
It's good to be able to handle yourself in a fight.
Some people are just really dumb and blind to the truth.
Scary not only comes in big it also comes in short.
A father should  be with his son on his first trip to the ocean.
If a child was born of two vampires he takes after them like having the ears of a bat.
No invite required in public accomadations like a sleazy motel.
Don't trust the psychotic man even if he's really really old.
To relieve tension gently and then more rapidly massage your schlug-tee.
Seeing isn't always believing.
There are worse things than killing someone.
Some Pylean words sound dirty but they mean something perfectly innocent.
You really should buy a TV and live in the now.
Heed the green guy's warning.
Wear a burkha to avoid turning into a pile of ash.
Be careful what you teach your son because it could bite you on your ass big time.
If you lose your balance you lose.
A vampire doesn't roar.
Close your eyes feel it. Where's the attack gonna come from? Angel
I am wrong. For you. I am not the one you love. He is. Groo
No matter how painful it can be you have to face up to the truth.
Some people get cranky if you talk during a movie.
Never skimp on the butter on the popcorn because that is just wrong.
Some don't qualify as human.
Some guys whistle when they're happy.
Guys that are really happy hum.
Check to make sure it's not perfectly happy by pinching him on the arm.
A vampire doesn't need to check his breath since he doesn't breathe but just to be on the safe side pop a breath mint to avoid blood breathe,
Phones may be handy at times but they can also be evil after all they were invented by a bored warlock.
A girl gets wigged when everything freezes.
When a person says "Talk to me" that implies the use of actual words not the punching of the face.
If your son locks you up in a box and sticks you on the bottom of the ocean restrain yourself from snapping his little neck and realize that it isn't totally his fault since he grew up in a Hell dimension.


Back in Pylea they used to call me Sweet Potato. Yeah well the exact translation was fragrant tuber. Lorne
Strange dreams are had when you're stuck at the bottom of the ocean.
To family as long as it's not mine. Lorne
I'm gonna have to go all glowy and kick its ass. Cordy
Some moments you just want to freeze.
Work on crossbow skills but always have a back up like the stake guantlets.
You have to think about more than yourself.
LA isn't Quor-toth so learn the rules.
He who uses the axe cleans it even if it isn't dusty or bloody.
Some people just shouldn't say dog or bro.
Some versions are better than others.
Spending a few months in the ocean can drive a vamp a little crazy.
Getting information is a finesse job. He's a blunt instrument. Gunn
Sometimes you just need to rant.
You make a choice and have to live with it.
That didn't suck. Well maybe just a little. Lilah
Snack break's over. Time to get back to work. Lilah
And Wolfram & Hart does its best work after dark. Wes
The sun is bad for your complexion ask Angel. Oh right you can't 'cause of the whole wanting to smother you with a pillow thing. Lilah
You would think kidnapping a son wouldn't have such a negative impact on a friendship. Wes
You thought you were doing the right thing. I hear that can be very confusing. Lilah
That part of my life is dead it doesn't concern me. Wes
Keeping a girl chained up in your closet is a serious sign of going over to the dark side.
Well I guess anything is better than sitting around in my cage all day with nothing to do but fill my bucket. Justine
Everything changes. Wes
Try to make the best of a bleak situation.
Slitting a guy's throat can change a guy not to mention making him more sexy.
We all get what we deserve. Wes
Threaten to take away the bucket to make your slave girl behave.
Word is nother word that some people shouldn't use.
You never let your guard down. Gunn
If he ain't dead I'm gonna kill him. Gunn
What you see does matter.
And jumping off a six story without busting your coconut kinda sways me to the side of not just a boy. Gunn
Having the nickname the Destroyer isn't a good sign.
Sometimes there isn't a later.
The ocean is a beautiful thing but not when you're trapped at the bottom of it with no way out.
Remember they're paying to see the green. Lorne
If I miracle ear anything I'll send up a smoke signal. Lorne
Make sure Fluffly's getting enough love. Lorne
Being locked up in a box at the bottom of the ocean screws with your head big time.
After a major betrayal the least you can do is find that guy that's been trapped at the bottom of the ocean.
Don't be surprised when he instinctively grabs your throat when the box is opened.
A vampire can exist indefinetley without feeding. The damage to higher brain functions due to prolonged starvation can be catastrophic. Wes
Know when to yell and when not to yell.
Just because you think someone's gonna yell doesn't mean that person will yell.
When peole care they worry when you take off without a word.
Don't let the face that you're an alpha male go to your head.
When the phone rings answer it.
Life should be beautiful and radiant. No matter how hard I try everything I touch turns to ashes. Angel
Sometimes an encouraging hug is needed.
Hallucinations can be entertaining.
You want to bitchslap sour puss voer there for practice I'm your cheering section. Lorne
Just because he sais, "I should have killed you" doesn't mean he's talking to you.
Always have a camera handy for those special moments.
Providing him with your blood is the least you can do for a man you betrayed big time.
A growing boy is always hungry.
Sometimes you need to give someone a piece of your mind.
Being a slave can end if you start living your life.
Some people feel absolutely nothing.
Listen to daddy when he's talking.
The truth has a better sound to it. Less nasal you know? Angel
Instead of kicking his ass like he deserves kick him out of the house.
Talking can really take it out of you.
It's way harsh when you can't touch and you're stuck with parents who just leave you with not a sign of giving a damn.
The place will smell of lemons if someone gots a little crazy with the floor polish.
You should have seen the size of the dust bunnies under Cordy's bed more like dust sperm whales. Fred
It doesn't hurt to take a whiff just in case you can track her down.
Try to stay positive.
Banished to the ocean depths by your ungrateful snot of a son. Fred
Time with some corporeal punishment and a heavy mallet may sometimes be needed.
Thing should be where you left them.
Sometimes it takes a person a while to forgive especially something major like kidnapping even if it was done with the best of intentions.
Knowing where to look is  start.
What should I do then? Send her a gift, a sacrifice, unholy fruit basket? Angel
Some doors are there one second and gone the next.
Dinza is one creepy thing and not someone you'd want to see more than once and never if you can avoid it.
If your touch is deadly always wear gloves.
If you don't see nipple then it's discreet.
Some people just love those swizzley things.
There's always room for negotiation.
I am a professional and we professionals don't like taking the bone. Gwen
To get your point across ruin the twelve thousand dollar watch.
Some people draw better than others.
Beat the snitch to get the building plans.
Just because we know where it is doesn't mean we can get to it. Fred
Make a list when you are out to steal something.
Security Devices
Survelliance cameras
Electric gates
Laser sensors
Hand print sensors
Armed Guards
Chance In Hell Operation Shopping List

Rapelling hooks
Yeah but it it's an auction house couldn't we just you know ebay it? Gunn
I think my lungs have coffee. Gunn
I'm still working on a plan but so far it involves being sent to prison and becoming somebody's bitch. Fred
Being strong always helps.
That's my girl large and in charge well teense weensey and in charge. Gunn
Don't forget to put your lipstick on before going out.
Some guys are turned on by bad girls and their evil plans.
When in doubt blow the fuses with your electrical touch.
Climbing up a building is actually much harder than it looks on Batman.
When in doubt pull all the wires.
Make sure everyone knows their part and what to do and most importantly which direction to go in.
Warn the guy before you knock him out.
Behold the power of positive thinking.
It is totally cheating when you go all electrical and bring the gate down.
Fibbing: It's lying but classier.
I'm a freak. Gwen
You can jump start his heart by touching him again and giving him a charge.
Instead of kicking the girl in the face try asking nicely for her to move although it was nice to apologize beforehand.
Even though you kicked him out doesn't mean you won't be watching over him.
You know I was just telling somone how I deeply care for the homeless. Lilah
Guilt is its own punishment.
When you have no one else to turn to going to the evil bitch is always an option.
You know what I find interesting the fact I can smell you and Wesley all over each other. Angel
Give her an hour to deliver.
If  no one with a pulse was around then no pulse guy would Flash Gordon you to the hospital.
You just what just electrocute me now because I don't know what kind of alien female thing... Gunn
Seeing someone you love die is very upsetting even if he's brought back.
Ok after I kick your ass I'm gonna ask about that.  Gwen
Some people aren't that toastable.
The heart starts pumping which leads to kissing.
I'm not slow. Gwen
Some people can't take a joke.
Some people shouldn't be allowed to say freak.
It's handy to be trapped with a vamp to save your ass combined with the electro hands.
Some people just aren't that easy to kill especially when you don't know who you're dealing with.
Getting double crossed is expecting it's a hazard of the biz.
What I don't appreciate is being called a freak. It is my word. I get cranky when people like you use it. Ever been struck by lightning Elliot? I've been struck by lightning fourteen times. It's not my fault. I just attract it. You know what also attracts lightning? Maggoty little norms like you. Gwen
So you're a freak boo hoo so what. I think you've already figured out I'm not the poster boy for normal. Angel
There are other freaks out there so freak unite.
Things aren't always as they appear.
It takes time to figure out who you are.
Drop something to provide the distraction so the kid gets his vamp but drop out of sight so he doesn't see you.
I'm not skulking. Angel
Sometimes you just don't know where you're going.
Everyone deserves a vacation.
Las Vegas is some peoples idea of a spiritual retreat.
Only two of the Blue Man Group are demons.
Some will just assume that he's wearing makeup when he's actually a demon of the freindly variety.
It's ok to get a little overexcited because the man's a good singer.
There could be a reason your green friend dissed you.
You're just a tickle me cutie! Lorne
Hey you kow I did have a life before you guys came along. Angel
To avoid singing suggest a game of Black Jack.
To take the edge off have a drink.
For an evil man pink slipping a girl has a totally different meaning.
Some prisons look nicer than others although it doesn't make it less of a prison.
Sorry to disappoint Lilah but I'm not waiting at the door with a scowl and a burnt potroast. Wes
Funky packages don't come cheap.
I don't need it to be cheap I need it to work. Wes
There's always time a little dirty talk.
Relax sit down play a few hands. Gunn
Success can make you forget the little people but that's not always the reason.
Smile to get green girl to agree to give your pal a note or at least assume that's what she did.
Mindless drones at the slots can be a bad sign.
Vampire senses don't carry across dimensions.
If I had your head for numbers I'd be counting numbers too. Gunn
If you say that you're fun can wait to ease your honey's mind it just means that he's run out of chips.
Getting a beating doesn't count as better luck.
If some stupid security guard says, "We don't cotton to stalkers around here freak" then they so deserve to be beaten bloody.
Go all vamp face to give the goons a good scare.
Give them a few things to remember you by like a punch to the face and knocking them flat on their ass.
This place was so much friendlier when the mob ran it. Angel
Just because things change doesn't always mean for the better.
If a person walks into the middle of the street acting like a zombie some major badness is afoot.
To find out what's going on with your green pal dress up as a Lornette so you can go see him.
Just go with it when the guy assumes you're there for a pre show diddle with the green guy.
Not all demons bite.
Make sure you're all green to avoid embarrassement.
Fluffy is not a showbiz catch phrase.
Code Word Fluffy: Fluffy the dog you don't have. The universally recognized code for I'm being held prisoner. Send help!
Be careful about throwing a chip.
The evil casino chips work on vampires as well as humans as long as you have a destiny that people would be willing to pay for.
Being creative can really help out in times when you want to go somewhere and you're not equipped to fight with the guys at the door.
Code Green means the green guy's escaped.
Suffice it to say we're dead if we don't get our fannies out of dodge. Lorne
Wolfram & Hart is that weirdo law firm in LA.
I was there before. Now I'm here. Angel
Comapny's coming kids and I don't mean my Aunt Gert. Lorne
Always take note of where you parked the car write it down just in case you forget.
Know your uh oh's.
Now we do that fighting for our lives thing we do. Gunn
Break some lights with a serious note to cause a distraction so you can get away.
Wait to hear the entire story before you get all judgey.
Generally speaking when you lose in Vegas you don't get it back.
Three cherries means you get your quarter back.
White flag's up you got me. Grind your organ I'll be your monkey. But you get nothing from me if you hurt anyone else. I swear it. Lorne
Try to knock some sense into zombie boy by having him hit the jackpot.
Winning the jackpot is a pretty good haul for someone with no destiny.
I put a quarter in the slot and I pulled that little lever.
It's a lot of quarters when you give a guy his winnings all in quarters.
Seeing loved ones in danger will snap you into action.
Break the glowy ball so everyone gets their destinies back.
You should collect the winnings that you won.
If you're drunk and surly you may be mistake for one of the band.
A fried peanut butter and bananna sandwich is a really gross combo.
Sometimes you really need a nice hot bath after a very long car ride especially if you still have green paint on you.
No more road trips for at least six months. Gunn
A person really has to pee after five and a half hours in a car.
It's handy to have someone join you in your bath to help with those three hard to reach spots.
If you get stuck try calling AAA.
The creepy kid may just be there to help.
Thank the kid for his help after all he did save you and your family.
It's very rude to break into your father's hotel and spy.
It sucks when you get what you want most and the girl has amnesia.
Seeing a doctor doesn't always solve the problem.
Never forget that we live in a world of demons and icky things.
Yeah sure let's be smart I want her to remember who I am before I freak her out with the whole I'm dead, drinks blood part of my resume. Angel
Smiling and waving can be creepy not to mention the sharp blade on the floor isn't very comforting.
The machine is handy to pick up calls but sometimes you need to answer the phone.
It's hard all around when a loved one's got amnesia.
If you hear singing go the other way to avoid the possibility of being freaked out beyond words.
No one likes a drooling demon that eats peoples brains.
Don't forget to hide the blood.
Sometimes you just can't squish squash fast enough.
Some kinds of mayhem a person will do for free.
You should should spill the really real.
Black Russian is a drink.
Things may be weird and scary but realize that you're among those who love you.
It's not a vampire with a soul and his gang of wacky sidekicks.
It's a bad sign when the green guy gets even more green and skedaddles.
A Higher Being can't turn you into a rat.
I am not a sidekick! Gunn
It's that bad. Goodnight. I got nothing just a splitting migraine a tummy full of rattlesnakes and a strong suspicion that I'm gonna lose my lunch again if I don't start drinking myself silly. Lorne
Sometimes drinking yourself silly isn't enough.
It's a bad idea to take off with the creepy boy.
Some people flee instead of running.
What I got from Cordy was condensed a big fat tummy clenching onion from Hell. The more layers you peel the more you cry or vomit in this case. Lorne
Connor Tells Cordy What She's Like
You like shoes and donuts and you're very brave.
Well who doesn't love donuts.
A bit careless misplacing her after all the effort to find her. Wes
When you find a human they can wander off quite easily.
A fresh start doesn't sound so bad with a blank head and not knowing all the crappy stuff.
Set traps for the evil Ninjas.
Catching the girl makes you quite the stud.
That's right monkey boys don't mess with the big dog. It's better than sidekick. Gunn
Trying is appreciated.
Nobody likes being played.
Let's just say I could have Lorne's brain in a jar but I left it in his head 'cause he's a friend of yours. Lilah
If there is no trust you can't be played.
Give the green guy some TLC while he recovers from having his brain sucked.
Screaming's a Texas thing.
I'm not a champion. I'm just a regular old karaoke sing empath demon. Lorne
Next time they might not stop with a little gray metter.
Try using the fron door instead of sneaking around like a rate.
Don't forget the fuzzy slipers to warm up the tootsies.
When you're a cow slave you don't want anyone to see you at all. Fred
It takes time to put the pieces together.
It'll work out and it'll all be for the best. It will. Five years of unendurable torture and mental anguish aside I I hadn't been sucked through that portal I never would have figured out my string compactification theory. Fred
Even getting sucked into a Hell dimension has a silver lining.
Strings need to compactify.
Oh look a bribe how thoughtful. Wes
Sometimes it's just a gift.
It'll take you hours to thank me properly. Lilah
It costs a forture to buy an old suit of armor head thing.
Thank the evil lawyer for the gift and hightail it out of there.
It's kinda gross to be leering at the woman who was practically your mother.
A battleaxe pretty much feels woodsy.
Five years is two years heavy on the or so.
Politely cough so your girl will introduce you.
History majors can be wooed over to physics.
It's good to have a killer left hook.
W.H.I.M.P.S= Weakly interactive massive particles
If you make a comment that could make you sound dumb just pretend you were kidding.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to keep mum so you avoid mouth in foot syndrome.
Bow out gracefully and go to your seat.
Two that are stupid makes the one not stand out so much.
Not knowing physics isn't a sign of being stupid.
It's a really bad sign when things go all swirly and tentacles come out trying to suck into a portal when you're giving a speech.
Yeah. Vampire. Strangling not gonna happen.
It pays to have two strong strapping men around to save you from the tentacle monsters.
Hey if this is about the jolly green demon I coulda had him killed but do I hear a thank you? Lilah
Come on if I were gonna kill the twig would I do it in a room full of people and then make a conspicious gettaway so I looked extra suspicious. Lilah
Sometimes the evil lawyer actually tells the truth.
That video tape sounds like vintage Wolfram & Hart.
It's a rare instance when the evil law firm isn't to blame.
You know Angel coming from you idle threats are so well idle. Lilah
Next time do more tha ripping the car in half.
Nearly being sucked into another portal gives you a serious case of insomnia not to mention the wiggins.
Be careful what you read in the library since it might not be safe.
Never leave without your coat especially in the daylight.
When my girl's not happy I'm not happy. Gunn

Talk comic book talk with the nerdy boy and toss him against the counter to make your point and to make him talk.
Stumbling into a life isn't necessarily a bad thing since in a strange way it can lead you to your destiny.
The story about the girl, the cat and the peanut butter is true.
We're full up on interns but the decoder ring's in the mail. Gunn
They talk about me in the chatty rooms? Angel
Quantam Cryptography is a must read for anyone seriously into physics.
Be careful who you give your phone number to.
Plasma And Fluid Turbelence In The Nutrino: Avoid these books unless you have sinister plans for them.
It's a seriously bad sign when you find the book that was used to open the portal in your favorite professor's office.
Count on it he's gonna pay. Gunn
It takes hours if you flog whip right not that you should do it.
Vengeance can get pretty ugly.
Remember that vengeance has a price and you'll have to live with the consequences.
If you lose the axe just give the vamp a kick and pick the stake up from the floor and dust him.
No kissing after slaying especially if it's the boy that you were practically a mother to.
It's not about what's right it's about what needs to be done.
I hear tht Tela Canve is nice this time of year and I'm sure the inmates will just love your lectures. See Ic an't do that Fred's a friend of mine and that little sabbatical you had planned for her not nice. Angel
Stop the guy from reading the evil book.
You know what they say about payback. Well I'm the bitch. Fred
A crossbow is also good for whacking the bastard and knocking him onto his ass.
Set things straight about the lip slip up.
Non CPR: Mouth to Mouth Kissing
Sometimes a girl just needs time to think.
It really sucks when a demon won't stay dead once you kill him.
Come on I'm holding your head. Angel
Once the head is off the thing should be dead unless it grows a new one.
Give the bastard a taste of his own medicine.
Sometimes there isn't time to find another way.
Sucked into his own portal wish I could have seen his face. Angel
Murder can put a serious crimp into a relationship.
Committing murder weighs heavy on the mind even if the guy that was killed had it coming to him.
Run in with a Vonock demon turns out they have nine lives.
Vonock demons have nine lives like a cat only less standoffish.
No more lies. Angel
Ask whatever you need to know.
Sometimes there is nothing to do but sing.
You either know something or you don't.
The bluffs at night is a pretty romantic restraining order.
Some questions can't be answered.
So I'm an idiot. What are you perfect? Loren
Some don't trust spells but sometimes you just have to go for it since nothing else is coming to mind.
It if works it's worth doing. Wes
Coming together to help amnesia girl can be a starting point to repairing the rift between friends.
Symbols on the floor don't always go well but give it a chance.
Check your sarcasm at the door Pouty Britches. Lorne
Did English go away? Wes
If you're taking a shower lock the door to avoid awkward caught in a towel moments.
You tend to be a mess at eighteen and beyond that too.
Not all of us have muscle to fall back on. Wes
Plants are beautiful and important not to mention a great place for puking.
Laughing implies side effets.
There's no need to be snipety.
It takes a lot of effort to become Head Boy.
Great so we've all got names. Cordy
It's the devil. My father said I was a sinner. That I'd come a bad end now I've come to Hell. Liam
Well Hell's a lot nicer than my place. Gunn
Finding your hair really short when you expect to to be long can be very upsetting.
Well maybe it's Motel Hell. Fred
I'm not Head Boy for nothing. Wes
You'll become Headless Boy if you don't get out of the way.
If a guy saves you from becoming a snack for a vamp and you're a hooker it wouldn't kill ya to give him a freebie.
You can never have enough duct tape.
Got any weed? Fred
People didn't have weed in the 18th century.
Just kick the two that are fighting to stop them.
Slayer is a band but it's also a girl that kills vampires and other forces of darkness.
I think I'm here in a chop that green bitch's head off capacity and I don't give a damn about no test. Gunn
Some guys are grouchy a lot.
Some guys get grouchy when they wake up with a bunch of insane white folks telling him what to do.
The day I take orders from guys like is the day I not even gonna happen.
Irony is funny in an ironic sort of way.
Some fill out more while others ain't gonna.
Feeling cold insdie is a sign of being a vampire.
A vampire isn't always a viscious animal since there are exceptions to every rule.
I'm ok it'd be cool if we could score some week. Fred
Sometims you just need a cup of ale.
Talking about blood along with your neck cleavage all hanging out can bring the vamp face on.
Signs That You're A Vampire
1. You feel cold inside.
2. Talk of blood makes your face change.
3. You have no reflection in the mirror and it's not because you're invisible.
4. Your face can change and you can feel fangs and lumpies but don't do it too long since it squeaks and the girl outside may start to wonder about you.
5. Crosses burn your flesh.
6. Vamps don't feed on corpses since they prefer fresh meat.
Demons as a rule tend not to be exploratory types.
Cars are horrors that can't be imagine when you're stuck in the 1700's.
Wouldn't a vampire be coming after us anyhow aren't we vittles? Fred
See the English is stupid lets have a different theory. Liam
Don't call a guy a pugalist.
Oh your ass better pray I don't look that word up.
It really hurts to be punched out.
Vampires aren't all the same and some can be pretty darn human.
That's right you ain't a person you're dust waiting to happen. Gunn
Some screaming can be inhuman.
It's so very wrong to take advantage of amnesia as a reason to try and kill your father.
I'm a bit tired of being bullied. Liam
Being green with horns doesn't make you evil.
You shouldn't gang up on someone because he's different.
Fathers don't they suck? Connor
Liam's Father's Advice
1. Be good.
2. Fear God.
3. Do as you're told.
4. Self righteous bastard that did his share of sinning.
Truth to tell I'm not much for fighting. I'd rather be satisfying my sinful urges with the Chase girl. Liam
I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be attacked. I didn't ask to be a freak. Hell I didn't even ask to be born. Liam
What do you want another beating? Liam
It's quite overwhelming when the memory comes flooding back.
When spookies are heard in the pipes it's a toss up between bring an axe or a plunger.
Don't judge those who stick snakes up there because different strokes for different folks.
We fight giant snakes, or demons, or giant demons. Angel
We don't fight the garden variety unless it's thirty feet tall.
Don't forget to ask about weird demony sounds.
Good if it's a haunting the longer a spector inhabits the area the harder it is to convince them to leave. Fred
In this business no is always acceptable.
If the bathroom's haunted try a priest or consecrated Draino.
Fear gives you an extra burst of energy.
Options To Impossible Haunting
1. Look into an exterminator if rats keep popping out since it could help.
2. You could always burn the place down.
Some guys go over to the dark side.
Isn't this what you like? Big brain and a tight little..Forget about that evil witch. Let's talk about me I'm good and I'm pure and science turns me on. And one day if I pray hard enough and eat all my vegetables I just might have hips. Lilah
Some theories deserve attention.
Leave the glasses on to keep the look since it can turn a certain guy on.
I'm gonna take a long bath and scrub till my skin stops twitching. Fred
Who doesn't love a bubble bath?
Sometimes you just want a quiet soak alone.
People in love should have meaningful conversations.
Murder can really screw up a relationship.
You should arrange your weapons according to how much damage they inflict.
Nonmenclature goes out the portal when a hacking's afoot. Lorne
Gloorgs are 90% pus so have a towel handy.
Sometimes you need to get help even if it's your dad that you hate who's help you need.
Even someone who's tough needs people.
Knowings different than living it. Cordy
Well if Snowball hasn't tried to eat your spine yet hit her with the catnip until we get there. Gunn
A lot of mucus isn't a good sign.
At least Dr Ego got a taste of his own portal. Lorne
A sparrow slamming into the door is a bad sign not to mention the swarm that follows.
Know who to torture but realize it may go quicker than you'd like.
Vindict on your own time I'm kinda on a clock here. Angel
Even Evil Inc can be caught by surprise.
Sneakiness is genetic in vampire offspring.
You're important to the ones that care about you.
Speaking complete sentences is something you should work on until they come to  you naturally.
It's hard not knowing your place in the world and not knowing why you're here.
Some Cracker Jacks surprises you just don't want like a giant lava rock beastie popping out of the ground.
If your walls are bleeding spritz it with a little 409.
Let the machine work its mechanical magic. Come on I'll hang my head out the window see if I can pick up the Burkle vibe. No but it sounds comforting and I can use the air. Lorne
Hey call me Kookie Pants but maybe we can save the three rounds until after the Chuck Heston Plagueathon cools off.
When people get overrun with birds, rats, and bleeding walls the Ghost Buster lines start ringing off the hook.
Increased paranormal activitiy is a really bad sign of badness coming.
Sometimes you have to pool your data.
Lilah she can be very giving if you approach her in the right way.
If Wolfram & Hart hadn't extracted it you'd be a paler shade of dead. Angel
Log all the calls down to every squishy one.
Eye of Fire: An ancient arcane symbol for fire and destruction.
Um boys I hate to be the little demon that cried apocalypsenowish but uh...Lorne
Cut off the coffee so the person doesn't vibrate into another dimension after a tenth cup since it could happen.
Hello is a good start when calling someone.
As long as you got love it can't be that bad. Waitress
Yeah getting yourself killed should really slow that thing down. Cordy
I've never been broken not even in Quor-toth. I didn't think I could be.
Sky Temple is a watering hole for the tragically hip actors, models, all the hot mamas and yammas.
Hey uh I know location's everything but um maybe we should hold off on the down payment until we know what we're dealing with or how to stop it. Lorne
If it's alive we kill it. If it's not we bury it. Angel
Sometimes the arrow just isn't big enough.
Neck wounds are always very painful but combined with being tossed off a building is a real bitch.
It's seriously bad when it starts raining fire.
Seeing the woman you love doing your son sucks worse than being stabbed and thrown off a building.
Instead of ripping his head off go beat on the doors and walls.
A person being an hour late isn't long enough to get really worried.
It was like the end of the world and all I wanted was you. Gunn
It's not always good to tangel with the demony thing that did a Cirque de Flambe.
No one likes to lose no matter the circumstances. Wes
Looking like you were hit by a truck could be the result of seeing your son doing the one you love.
Throwing sex into the equation can really complicate things especially if you say it can't happen again.
Apparently Wolfram & Hart is the safest place to be during an apocalypse.
I'm choosing a side. Wes
People make mistakes it's part of what makes you human.
The sky should not be made of fire. Cordy
Strange things happen.
It's a bit unsettling when the unstopabble demon knows your name.
A grenade may not kill the demon but it will distract it.
When you're in the sewers and on the run lose the heels or carry them.

Tapping can help some people think while it annoys others.
Just meditating on the problem yeah asking the inner Lorne for backup. Lorne
The block where Caritas is ia bit fat interdimensional happening hot spot.
Things can go from bad to worse.
Don't forget to bring a flashlight.
Sargeant Stay At Home volunteering for duty sir. Lorne
There's only one smart way to play it you see it you run like hell. Angel
While the others go off to the Evil Empire Sargeant Stay At Home makes some nice healing muffins.
When you're unsure of how high something is you tend to say believe and make a guess since people as a rule don't go around measuring things.
It is very creepy to walk through the Evil Empire that is wall to wall dead people even though they were all evil.
A bunch of dead people around is a pretty damn good reason to feeling a little goosey.
There are times when  being quick and quiet is essential.
I don't get it. Wolfram & Hart is evil. The big bad is evil. Why go all Terminator on your own team? Gunn
Some things want to eliminate the competition.
A bunch of dead bodies doesn't cause one to be overflowing with hope.
It's a bad sign when the dead guy isn't where you left him.
Just because the big bad Jack in The Boxed out of the spot where you were born doesn't make it your fault.
There are different kinds of dead.
Zombies are slow moving dimwitted things that crave human flesh. Angel
Vampires don't crave human flesh so much as the blood.
Yeah thanks for the newsflash Captain Obvious. Gunn
A zombie trying to snack on you won't turn you into a zombie.
Use a sword to break the door knob off so you can make your escape.
The only way to kill a zombie is to stop its brain activity. Cut off its head. Smash in its skull. Luckily they're slow and stupid so you have a decent chance of beating them. Unless of course there's hundreds of them. Angel
We wait then we fight. Wes
The one thing you can be srue of zombies is the fact that they want you dead.
Fight seven fights of evil lawyer zombies or sweetalk a nasty little girl you know where my heart is. Gunn
Hello photographic memory. Angel
The photographic memory can sometimes get a little fuzzy when things are really hairy.
If you see an evil lawyer zombie that you know chop off his head even if you hate him.
The answer is among you is pretty darn cryptic not to mention a bit misleading.
So what's is say about the Big Bad Wolf if he can just stride right in and suck the energy out of Evil Red Riding Hood? Gunn
Now take your new boyfriend and get the hell out of here. Angel
Nuke the blood for that fresh out of the jugular taste.
Some things make you want to run screaming out of the room.
I'm not brooding I'm researching. Angel
I work better alone. Angel
Welcome to the big leagues Angel you're a champion you don't get personal days. Lorne
There's other fish in the sea although you may have your heart set on a particular one.
When things get too hairy go to Tahitti until the badness overflow goes back to normal.
I know enough to go to Tahitti. Gwen
Some screams aren't part of a dream.
Nobody likes achey floor neck.
No one likes cryptic message messages.
Two is a coincidence while three make a pattern.
Humans don't need to be invited in but knocking and waiting is the polite thing to do.
Telling someone to go away never works.
Sleeping with a man's son when you supposedly loved him isn't the way to show you give a damn a whole lot or otherwise.
Get over it! Hmm you know I never really thought about that. Get over it! Why didn't I think about that? It's so simple! Angel
Getting only a visual isn't much to go on although it's something.
When you're a leader you need to lead.
It's hard to be prepared when you can't find any info on the beastie.
Everyone has an achille's heel. Angel
It's kinda tricky when you don't have a lead which means you've got nothing.
Long time no hand to hand. Gwen
Tell me freak to freak is the world going to end? Gwen
The evil demons can't pull off lame 'cause it gets camp.
When weirdness happens go to the weirdest person you know.
When you have a four hour drive to and from you find something to talk about.
Geez where were you when they taught stealth in Super Power School? Gwen
You protect only if it's not evil and kill it before the Beast gets to it.
Some guys just don't speak College Boy.
Right Super Hunk and Spandexia this thing takes out Meseketet and you two are gonna protect me? Manny
Be careful who you ask to give you a lap dance.
Beings of supreme power don't always appear as you expect.
The small yucky man isn't always joking and is deadly serious this time.
As far as evil plans go blotting out the sun forever doesn't suck.
Never trust the books or the bookies kid real juju takes place in the QT. Manny
While you'd assume that the Tet folks are all supposed to be might and collassal doesn't mean it's true.
Appearances can be really deceiving.
A panic room is quite a homey touch.
A good thief is a master of body language. Gwen
The Swimsuit edition will keep a guy occupied.
Extra blood and guts tends not to be someone's power.
I mean that's a lot of blood and guts in there no way all that Stephen King came out of a normal guy. Gwen
Some things you just don't want to know.
Thiefs as a rule don't share information.
A killer doesn't always have cloven feet.
We check out every lead no matter how close to home it hits.
Maybe 'cause it's nice to make you crazy for a change. Angel
Wait to point fingers until later.
Sometimes you should consider a portal as a potential option even though you haven't had the best luck with them in the past.
When conventional methods don't work it's time to think outside the box.
It's rare when a demon knocks on the door become coming in.
Advantages Of Being An Offspring Of Two Vamps
1. Stealthy
2. Fast moving
3. Great hearing
4. Can jump off buildings without a scratch.
5. You can get tossed out a five story windown without getting dead.
6. You're a fast healer.
Things get dimmer when you're about to pass out also when the sun is being blotted out of the sky.
The answer is among you is not always the most obvious choice.
Wherever the sun is gone becomes the hotspot for the undead.
Rogue warrior took off for a good reason so don't jump to conclusions let him explain himself when he gets back.
Pretty much the only victory we can claim is that we're not dead yet. Gunn
Don't go calling someone a puppet when it's your strings that are being yanked.
Sometimes you prefer a plan instead of pep.
Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
Reading about Angelus in books is quite different from seeing him in the flesh.
Flowers, plants, and trees will die if they don't get sunlight.
Angelus is the jumbo family sized bad of bad ideas. Cordy
There are different kinds of smart.
Evil just jacks up the IQ points.
Preparing For A Visit From Angelus
1. You're gonna need a cage. A strong one about 10 by 12, steel reinforced 2" bars maybe 3".
2. Add a second lock.
3. Before you do something really stupid like extracting a soul call Willow first so she can talk you out of this very bad idea or at least be there to do the ritual to put it back.
4. You must be armed at all times and don't drop your weapon.
Dark magick and unleashing unspeakable evil can give people the heebie jeebies.
Just A Dream
Great now we have to find a tooth in a haystack. Gunn
You hear that there's a sword. A sword to kill the Beast. And you wanted to turn me into Angelus by having an evil shaman cut off my head. Not that that wasn't a swell plan too. Angel
We all make mistakes sometimes even the guy with the big brain.
I don't know I just get the visions not the cliff notes. Cordy
What are those party decorations left over from some S & M bondage party? Cordy
I knew you two would get me in trouble some day. Cordy
Who boobytraps a deadend? That's just not right. Cordy
Getting impaled with a spike is a painful way of being wrong.
Don't look at me I'm not a Thomas Guide. Cordy
A messy situation can be made even messier.
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
When things start rumbling along with fire it's time to go.
You know it's a dream when everything falls neatly into place and you get the girl and your son doesn't hate you anymore.
Some guys love playing with a shiny and pretty sword but watch out for the furniture.
You know he's back when you hear the evil laugh.
When it's permanent midnight the vamps are out in full force and a lot of tourists pop up.
Unless you actually know how to fight keep your excursions outside to a minimum and go out in groups along with weapons.
Wes's Tips On Dealing With Angelus
1. Pay attention to everything he does and says.
2. He'll try to confuse you, play on your emotions.
4. If he succeeds we're so dead.
5. Don't drop your guar.
6. He's very smart and very focused and will exploit everything Angel knows.
7. He lashes out at what made him human.
8. Stay away from the bars.
9. Don't cross the red line.
Spendinging one's life dealing with something doesn't mean you'll feel ready when it arises.
Reading won't necessarily prepare you for coming face to face with the real thing such as Angelus.
Just words can get to you.
It's hard to keep track of friends and enemies when you're evil.
Go inside when there are too many vamps to fight.
Keep talking I'll sweep out the cage when I'm done. Gunn
Evil and pig can go hand in hand.
Keep tranqs handy at all times.
Black is always quite fashionable.
Kissing a girl who has a boyfriend is a seriuos no no not to mention lying about it afterwards.
People don't come with deeds.
It's smart to be scared.
Promises, promises don't make 'em if you can't keep 'em. Angelus
What's a better ride than a mustang? Angelus
Must be some confusion you took out the soul still have a brain. Angelus
When you have a brain you should use it.
Sometimes a sacrifice must be made.
Even Sid Viscious will become Mr Show And Tale with the right incentive.
Honeybuns here must have a secret stash of Higher Power dust. Lorne
Evil beings tend not to be big with the team work.
Brush up on you Freyan runes since it could come in handy.
If someone doesn't answer the door it could be one of two reasons they are out or they are dead.
It's hard coming across a slaughtered family.
There are some things you don't want to know especially when it comes to an evil vamp's thoughts.
Some last ditch plans are a total bust.
I'm always missing the fun stuff. So didyou bring me back a souvenir maybe a stray baby toe? Angelus
I showed you mine now it's time to show me yours. Angelus
You just don't have many options when you're locked up in a steel cage.
The more you piss me off the longer I'll keep you alive. Angelus
Know who to beat up when you go to the shaman.
Sometimes there's isn't a backup plan.
Keep your flamethrower filled and ready to face Fang Boy.
Now instead of just worrying about the Big Bad Rocky we got Darth Vampire living in the basement.
Chicks just love a good accent makes them all buttery in the nethery regions. Angelus
Sometimes you need to push the pause button.
Hiding out in the sewers make syou neglect your grooming habits.
Evil doesn't have to be sloppy. Angelus
Why is your thong in such a bunch counselor you're a professional? Angelus
Life can always be crappier.
And yet I'm not the monkey in the box. Lilah
Some people just can't lie.
What kind of brain fart made that witch try and let Angelus out? Gunn
I still know some people that like high ripples. Lilah
Great minds aren't foolish enough to release him.
I just want my life back. All my pretty things. I'm selfish that way. Lilah
There are many reasons we wouldn't have worked out Lilah. Wes
Use Rhinehards Compendium to find ways to make things pay.
Pandimensional markets are handy to get the books that are complete.
Even though Lilah's evil I don't see her hacking up all those people. Fred
Know your minions.
How coul you survive this long being so retarded? Angelus
Cut the Fu Mann Chu what do you know? Gunn
The Beast I knew was big into smash and slaughter. Had the brawn to be really good at too. Big picture not his strong point. But whoa flash forward now he's all rain of fire, destroying the Rahtet, blotting out the sun big moves for a guy whose head is made out of rock. Angelus
And maybe I'll sprout some wings and flutter away. There's something else out there more powerful, more viscious pulling all the strings. Ooh I don't know about you I'm just dying to find out what it is. Angelus
Just because Lilah's job was lying doesn't mean she's incapable of telling the truth.
Nothing like your first murder. Angelus
Wes On What They Need To Bring Angel Back
1. Skill
2. Perserverance
3. Luck
4. Break the Slayer out of prison
Sometimes you just aren't sorry even though you want to be.
So what now Ouijie Board? Lilah
Zilch, zip and what in the hell is succabitch doing here?
Forget about the goody goody. You wanna kill the Beast and give his boss a run for his evil the answer's downstairs in a cage. Sic Angelus on him. Kill you all in a bloody shower of violence but hey greater good. What hold hands and sing a hymn? It might be a little hard when the Beast is ripping your guts out. Lilah
There's only one bitch here and I'm looking at him. Fred
Don't judge the guy just because he banged evil lawyer succabitch for months.
It if continues to move once the head is removed that is a sign that you're not done yet.
Yeah sometimes you got to just keep on whackng. Gunn
Sometimes I hate this life. Fred
We moved up its expiration date. Gunn
Just like being at work except suits by Liberace. Lilah
Ten to one the entire hotel gets sucked into a Hell dimension. Lilah
You shut your fat mouth. Fred
I like heroes so tangled up in your own crap you can't even find the world to save it. Angelus
Don't leave home without your talisman.
Fooling The Others
1. First off start apologizing.
2. Cordy feels that he's back.
3. Singing for Lorne to clear your name.
4. Offer to stay in the cage.
Locking up the leader is sometimes what is for the best.
New Rules
1. No more back biting.
2. No more fist fighintg
3. No more vengeance.
4. Focus on one thing making it out alive.
5. Never give up.
6. We'll get through this together.
I can't believe we didn't crush you people years ago. Lilah
Past is past and done is done.
It's my inner ego maniac rebel serving coffee. Lilah
I have to go save the world. Angelus
Take the shot any shot you can get. Wes
A gun isn't very helpful against vamps unless you want to piss them off.
What happened to pedestrians? Human pedestrians? Is there no fast food left in Los Angeles? Angelus
Those evil genuises get you every time. Lilah
Divine intervention? Trust me you have more chances of winning the lottery six times in a row. I had the numbers done. Lilah
Wreaking the most damage doesn't necessarily mean highly populated area.
It's no fun to come across the dead body.
The Sanctuary Spell keeps the carnage down to a minimum.
We use whatever tools we have. Wes
But hey I'm no different than the next guy I put my victim's skin on one leg at a time. Angelus
Angelus doesn't sign autographs for hellspawn.
Chop off her head quickly after all she is dead and won't feel a thing.
If you're out of bloodroot substitute cloves for the Sanctuary Spell.
As soon as we sprinkle burnt clove dust around the perimeter, light a few candles, incant a few phrases we'll be in business.
While LA is permanent darkness it hasn't affected Stockton or Sunnydale.
A very big knife will get a girl's attention.
I don't take grocery lists from Messenger Boy. Angelus
Don't assume that the Master is a he since it could be a she since the answer is among you after all and there is a she in particular.
If you follow the recipe right it'll work.
Magick sometimes does work.
In order to get the evil vamp you need a Slayer so go and get her out of jail.
Well uh hey hate to wet the paper for you Wes but I'm kinda unavailable right now maybe you want to try back in a few decades when my parole comes up. Faith
Prison Break
1. Step away from the glass.
2. Crash through it.
3. Fight the guards off.
4. Jump out the window.
Unleashing Angelus is gas to the flames.
A smart vamp runs away at the sight of a Slayer.
Slaying a vamp after being out of commission due to a stint in the pokey is just like riding a biker.
A Slayer thrown into the mix really puts a crimp in the Master's plans.
You may just be more like your dad than you thought like a weakness for Slayers.
Scream to thank the evil vamp.
Girls are just better at the whole slaying thing although some guys are up to the task.
It can be handy to have bloodhound boy around to follow the trail of blood.
Eyes and ears pealed. Watch the periph. Hey nobody make a move until I...Faith
If you can't listen you should go home since you're no help.
Easier said the kid's got a history of not knowing what he's told. Gunn
If it comes down to you or Angelus you haven't shown me a thing to want to save your sack. Faith
Even a Slayer doesn't always know where she's going.
Find Angelus Minus Connor
1. Do it the old fashioned way.
2. Something will turn up.
3. A trail of bodies perhaps.
4. A tell tale clue.
5. Carpet fiber.
6. Or maybe a big old Welcome Sign.
When the element of surprise is out come at him from two sides.
You take low. I'll hit him high. Faith
So what are you waiting for? Come out and give me a kiss. Faith
Honey I brought home a guest for dinner let's eat. Angleus
Some girls enjoy a threesome.
Just because a girl's been in prison doesn't mean that she hasn't kept in shape.
It's ironic when the evil vamp is the one that brings back the sun.
You take the bad with the good is always what I say. Angelus
Well ding dong the Beast is dead. Lorne
It only takes one time to get pregnant.
Bizarro that a kid who was a baby not even a year ago is becoming a daddy is beyond bizarro.
If you're all bloody and feeling sticky take a shower.
Beating up on the bathroom wall is an improvement over the whole killing people phase you went through.
After I rip out your windpipe so it stops making that annoying talky sound. Angelus
Even evil boy doesn't like a voice in his head.
To hide your identity disguise your voice with a big scary one.
Some guys are more hands on types.
Destruction is sometimes its own reward.
As far as plans go I make my own. Angleus
Ask about the birds and bees so you realize something is up with the pregnancy that is not of the norm.
A gun can be your best friend.
But there's always a but. When this is over can we but a big but moratorius? Fred
Did I mention the only shots I'm good at involve Tequilla? Lorne
Don't drop your guard
If he pops a fang in here thwack him where it hurts. Gunn
Odd bird and getting birdier. Lorne
All squeaky clean let's blow. Faith
Everyone talks to themselves sometimes.
Can't beat a good book. Angelus
A sucky spell huh you'd think it'd at least go to the sidewalk. Angelus
Morning sickness doesn't always know how to tell time.
All I'm saying is he tries dancing in here and pulling a Dark Shadows again he's gonna get a dart up his evil ass. Gunn
Start with a perimeter sweep. I'll take point. Stay frosty. Faith
You may have to be just as viscious as Angelus to defeat him.
Getting a migraine is nothing to laugh about.
Evil types don't have friends and if they did the friend wouldn't be in his head.
Measure twice cut once. Gunn
Then next time Minnie will take a chunk out of his cheese. Gunn
Don't do something again if you think it was wrong.
Sometimes you just can't go back no matter how much you may want it.
Spending half the night with the smell of blood in pissholes is all part of the job.
Some demons faces can grow back.
They shoot up. The vampires feed. Use them like a filter. I've read the effects can be quite intoxicating. Wes
Stopping after someone tells you that you're hurting them and you stop is a sure sign that you're changed.
I've avoided the main arteries she'll live if that's what you call this. Wes
Sometimes smacking around doesn't do the trick.
So what torturing humans part of the new makeover. Faith
Oh you have a problem with a little torture now. Seem to recall a time when you rather enjoyed it. Wes
It's not that hard to get back in touch with that darkness.
Oh smacked in the noggin with a two by four wrapped in velvet. Yeah that's what it felt like. Lorne
Getting hit with a tranq gives you a nap not to mention the best sleep since the apocalypse.
Everyone having their necks attached is a good sign.
Put the blamestick down anyone can fall for a fake mojo charm.
If a bad ass vamp is gonna kill you it won't be as simple as using a shotgun.
Save the head trip GQ. Faith
There are two ways to make the pain stop you can hurt someone else or you can die.
Sometimes getting bit is part of the plan.
Always keep the shackles and leg irons handy.
Not the best idea to have the kid who hates his father help in the chaining process.
And speaking of sense have you been on permanent sabbatical from yours? Lorne
A sign that Cordy isn't really Cordy is her pushing you across the room and into the wall without breaking a sweat.
Dealers at Caritas dealing Orpheus were the only ones to ever get the boot.
Orphues an opiate of the mystical variety. Humans inject it. Vampires feed off them. That's what makes it so dangerous. Orpheus isn't entirely physical it's an enchanted drug. That plus the biting makes for some serious psychic psychedelia. The more you take the deeper you sink. It leads you down to Hell. And leaves you there.
You drink from the girl that injected herself with Orpheus so you share your flashback.
Just because it's your flashback doesn't mean you're in control.
You know what the definition of insanity is baby performing the same task over and over and expecting different results. Learned that in murder rehab. Faith
Way I figure I got one last job babysit the psycho til they shove a soul up your...Then I'm whatever dust in the wind. Candle in the wind. There'll be a general wind theme. Faith
I'm in Hell. This is Hell and I'm in it. Angelus
Talking to your flashback won't change anything.
You could be a little nicer in telling the Betty to scram.
Well pound snow you mook. Betty
Sometimes you need a witch
And the sneer's genetic who knew. Willo
Some just like to yammer.
You never forget the first spell you learned.
Sometimes it's as simple as breaking a jar.
Some hairdo's should be outlawed.
Bring on the pain! Angelus
When robbing a donut shop expect the guy to be wigged when you pull a guy so don't shoot and run out without the money since that's just plain dumb.
If someone's been shot at least call 911.
Getting shot causes one to be in serious pain.
Glass is crunchable.
Oh come on everybody loves fetal pigs. Willow
I think my sense of humor is trapped in a jar somewhere. Wes
Circumstances can make you a bit grumpy.
Everyone has some darkness potential.
I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world. Willow
Darkness been there. Willow
Chaining someone up in a closet is dark.
Whoops dinner by armed robbery. Angelus
When you're evil that blurry line tastes so good.
Someone should be downstairs in case the Prince of Darkness wakes up.
No one likes uninvited visitors in their head.
Ignore the huge floaty head since it's just an illusion.
Dying is a lot easier than redemption.
Do you ever think their relationship's maybe a little icky? Fred
Feel the bones good for me. Faith
Arf arf psycho. Faith
Break me off a switch son there's about to be a whuppin'. Faith
Never stop fighting. Angel
Sometimes all it takes is to get all pep talking which can lead to inspiration that's much needed.
Sometimes the girl does the heavy lifting.
Some things are just funnier in Latin.
Oh um next time you resurrect Angelus call me first ok. Willow
What put me on the short bus and send me off to clueless school. Lorne
Well congratulations you're gonna have a grandspawn. Gunn
Just one word can be quite revealing.
Squirmyness in the tummy is a sign of an evil pregnancy.
Thieves as a rule are stealthy.
Gwen's Tips
1. No acting shifty like looking around.
2. Lose the trench coat which is a dead giveaway and such a rookie mistake.
3. No on eill hibr you a second look as long as you're not shifty.
A thief knows what the risks are.
If the girl gets struck by lightning don't run away check to see if she's all right.
Two vampires hook up and for the only time in vamp history have a kid our boy Connor. And Connor grows up knocks it out with Cordelia a part demon former Higher Being and as quick as you can say Easy Bake Oven there's a gigantic bun in hers. Gunn
Having two part demon parents might explain the whoosh factor. Fred
Not gonna be long before whoosh turns to pop. Gunn
I don't skulk. Angel
Two Pressing Matters
1. Figuring out what we can about Cordelia's pregnancy.
2. Destroying the Beast Master.
As reliatble as a cheap forture cookie. Lorne
It never hurts to have some muscle on deck.
Hello the real Cordy would never tell Connor to kill his father when he was in the process of getting his soul back.
There's always a reason but it might be seriously evil.
Some people enjoy collecting stuff.
Sneaky Tips
1. Say that a girl is in danger.
2. Provide a photo of a little girl.
3. Use Mr Suave as a distraction while stealing LISA which isn't a girl at all.
It feels good to be doing good. Gunn
Sometimes all you need is to walk through the front door.
Beeping and batons are total signs of making a scene.
Gunn's Tips
1. Saying Hello in Japanese is a gesture that is appreciated.
2. Have a gift for the man.
3. Say you met him at the Zoo Benefit.
4. Know that he loves tigers and swip Gwen's jade one.
5. Just wait and you'll be allowed in.
6. Of course the owner will steal her tiger back that goes without saying.
An infant Gapnar demon the spikes grow to full size in the womb. Wes
It's like being stuck in a really bad movie with those Clockwork Orange clampie things on my eyeballs. Fred
Why imagine reality's disturbing enough. Wes
Things happen Fred when you're alienated from the people you care about you start to look other places. Wes
It's not always about holding hands. Wes
Well you watch enough Samurai moves you learn a couple things about the culture. The first is Reshiki which is a fancy way of stressing proper etiquette at all times. The other is never underestimate the value of the appropriate gift. Gunn
It's not like 18th century jade is falling off trucks all over the place.
Mention that the girl is about to be killed to get the guy to provide your distraction although he doesn't know it.
Knocking over a table causes a distraction followed by pointed out your parnter that's just grabbed the girl.
Try to avoid getting blood on your sweet new suit since blood's a bitch to get out.
It's good to let off a little steam.
No one likes a snotty little kid.
Try asking the kid if she is kidnapped and not actually in her house.
A security scar of a dead guy might have raised a few eyebrows. Gunn
L.I.S.A: It's a military acronym. Localzed Ionic Sensory Activator. It's not a weapon a covert device worn by black opps regulates body temp, heartbeat, body chemistry. Gwen
Gwen Good Thief Policy
1. I steal what I'm paid to do.
2. I don't ask too many questions.
Finish the mission if you're allowed to keep the suit.
Stop hovering since it doesn't make things easier.
Florian is a really trick language.
Green cart like vehicel eats. I am not a buckethead. Wes
We either both make it out or neither of us do. Gunn
No huffy exits before I spill the joyous news. Lorne
A Dungeons and Dragon cape isn't a fashion statement unless you're a total geek.
Give High and Spidey all the info to fall into your trap.
Do a pretend rituatl to draw out the Beast Master.
Things aren't always so clear anymore. Gunn
Don't knock the muscle buddy it makes the gils go all knockey in the knees. Gwen
Sometimes the brain over brawn approach can sometimes work best.
Having muscle doesn't mean you don't have a fully functional brain and are smart too.
Some people aren't good at the whole pep talk thing.
I'm a fighter born and raised. Gunn
I'm a freak being a thief makes me a part of something and not a part of it at the same time. Gwen
Some things are worth dying for like being able to hold hands without killing the guy.
Thanks for turning me off. Gwen
Well you've already killed me once. If it happens again you know where my battery is. Gunn
Use incense and cadles to add that touch of realism when you do your bogus ritual along with singing notes.
Don't forget your magic eightball for all those important questions.
My sweet is a bit fem for the boomy macho act.
There is nothing more annoying than an idiot who crashes and smashes and takes off.
Being close to Electra Gwen can really screw your equipment. Gunn
A guy steps out for a few hours half the place goes Super Villian. Gunn
Evidence upside my head to the contrary. Lorne
Take your clothes off for a little axing followed by a sponge bath and voila shower fresh murder.
That explains why my mojo's been gunked up Queen Bi-atch put the whammy on me. Lorne
Evil and pregnant I'm guessing it ain't cookies. Gunn
Reaching out to black markets take time.
Good and evil aren't just words.
Ironic when the yanker is talking about yanking when she's the one pulling the string.
Some tissue that smells way too pretty to be evil. Fred
A walk in the park isn't always so pleasant.
When a guy is pressed for time buffalo wings are out.
Go to the Guide for answers.
A few have come back from paradise.
Babies move sure but also evil spawn with tentacles move too in a different way.
You know I've always wondered how many chunks ya gotta hack off a vampire before he goes all dust bunny? Skip
Maybe I can have an embolism. Fred
Bind demon Skip to this dimension before he wakes up.
If a girl you rescued from a vamp thanks you don't punch her out say, "You're welcome" or "No problem."
You don't hurt an innocent girl just because the evil bitch says to.
Question instead of blindly following orders.
Sphere of the infinite agonies every second a lifetime. Should be able to whip one up in um twenty minutes. Fred
Everything you know or she starts whippin'. Angel
Nothings beats a good bluff.
Someone dying for you is a sign of major love.
No way we make our own choices. Gunn
Just because someone tells you to do something doesn't mean you have to.
The final score can't be rigged. I don't care how many players you grease that shot always comes up a question mark. Here's the thing you never know when you take it. It could be when you're duking it out with the Legion of Doom or just crossing the street deciding where to have brunch. See you just treat like it was all up to you a world out of balance 'cause you never know when it is. Gunn 
When you have no choice you have to do what you have to do.
The word annointed isn't a big and confusing word.
Blood along with the mojo is the sign of an unnatural birth not to mention the earthquake.
A son should listen to his father instead of again with the fighting.
Aim for the weak spot like where a chunk of him was ripped off for effective killing.
The "baby" coming out full grown is a total sign that something wonky is going on.
It's not natural for the mom to go into a coma after giving birth.
Some things shouldn't be given life.
Killing can be the right thing to do.
If you're naked find some clothes.
One does tend to let the housekeeping slide during an apocalyptolight. Lorne
Toing and froing can make a person on edge even edgier.
A lot of dismemberment goes on during a busy month.
Put your weapons away when you're done with them.
Are you still evilish 'cause I'm confused? Fred
Hey it never hurts to ask if you aren't sure about something.
It's rude not to say goodbye.
Miracles just can't be arranged unless of course evil is afoot.
Birth pains to explain all the major badness sure if it's an evil being that hijacks a girl and gives birth to itself.
There's nothing wrong with a little bowling.
Everyone should have a name.
Not everyone is blind to the truth.
Chlorox she bleaches away the hate. Gunn
Try Chlorox to get the blood out of a shirt.
If that fails try some club soda.
Try soaking it also and try Spray N Wash.
If a cursed vamp gets too happy it could get very ugly.
Eradicate all evil is that even possible? Angel
When she's not around I hurt. Fred
Being focused on a task can really open your eyes to the truth but of course you'll have to go on the run.
Go to the hospital to get the skinny on what that guy saw.
Questions are good instead of of doing whatever you're told.
I have a family I'm a member. Fred
Another sign that major badness is going on is if the guy's face is disfigured from her touch.
No I don't get called. I I'm not the called type. I you know take messages for my boss. He gets called. Fred
It's very bad when everyone loses their free will.
Sometimes going to someone isn't always a good idea especially when you can't really trust anyone even those nearest and dearest.
Know when to make a run for it but first reach for a weapon.
Grab your green friend so you can make your escape.
Nothing like a homicidal maniac to put a dampener on an impromptu spiritual gathering. Lorne
While bartenders are chatty when it comes to problems diner guys not so much.
Give your jacket to another girl so you can get away.
The sewers can be your friend when you're on the run.
I thought our Lady of the Perpetual Sea Breeze was the real deal until the divine Miss J walked through and right right into my ass. Which is where my heart is physiologically. Lorne
A guy always loves compliments on his mustache.
Being picked doesn't always make you lucky.
There's a book on pretty much everything.
Not a huge demand for photo books of serial killer autopsies when you're living in a utopian wonderland. Book Guy
Some people smile on the inside.
So you don't worry that it's possible for someone to send out a biological or electronic trigger that effectively overrides your own sense of ideals and values and replaces them with an alternative coercive agenda that reduces you to little more than a mindless meat puppet? Fred
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
Why should we be the only shiny happy people? Fred
Birthdays aren't celebrated in Quor-toth.
Tying a kid to a tree and running off isn't very good parenting although it can really hone your tracking skills.
Hobbits are magical since dwarves aren't crazy about magic.
It's hard to escape when the evil one can possess any human around.
A burning man is something to be afraid of especially when he's oblivious to the whole being on fire thing.
People who need people they're the luckiest people.
Don't walk on the street where you can be seen.
Don't trust the creepy little demon with the dangling boogery things.
You scared the creamcheese out of me. Boogery Demon
Keep the axe handy just in case.
Sit down any monkey business and I'll chop you down like a cherry tree. Fred
Little itty bitty demons have bladders the size of a juju.
Everyone loves open mike night.
It's not such a stretch to think a demon would live in a dirthole.
If you see a stash of hands kill the creepy little demon unless you want to lose your hands in your sleep.
A axe to the head tends to do the trick.
Turn yourself in so you get your change to get someone on your side and see the truth.
Don't forget to tell the guy to leave the building after you tell him to burn the place to the ground.
I keep shoveling pie into my hole and still feel empty. Gunn
You get a visual when she's actually in the room.
After getting shot repeatedly one needs to eat some people to recover especially if you're Miss Evil herself.
Speaking about killing a friend so casually without him being evil is a bad sign.
A bullet feels like a bee sting. Angel
A little withdrawel is expected after having your eyes open to the truth about Jasmine.
Try kissing to see if they buy you as lovers even though it's very unlikely.
Keep the hallway empty while Jasmine eats.
Don't forget to remove your clothes before you get eaten by Jasmine.
Watch out for candles by the window.
It makes it a little easier to know that it won't hurt when you cut the girl in the coma after all the blood is sorely needed and she won't miss the little you take.
Strange things happen like Cordelia giving birth to a beautiful ebony Goddess.
Just stand outside like a dummy while your daughter eats some people.
Cool isn't the right thought to have when your daughter has just told you that she eats people.
Opening your friends eyes to the truth doesn't make you a traitor.
I'll get him I've kidnapped him before. Wes
Someone that knows the truth has to live through this. Angel
Make sure you always keep the gas tank full.
There has to be a way we just need time.
Sometimes the big plan is to keep running until you come up with a better plan.
Yeah they'll be happier when they're gouging out our eyes and stompin' us until their shoes get sticky. Gunn
Fast works for me. Gunn
Even though the people are under a spell you have to be willing to fight them otherwise they will definetely kill you.
Yeah that's right it's the Big Bad Free Will Gang gassin' up. Gunn
It's really creppy to have Jasmine speaking out of people like a gang bander for instance.
Sometimes you don't have time to pick up snacks.
No eating rats!
Hearts get in the way. We don't gut ourselves, burn out everything inside that gave her power over us we're lost. Angel
Some drugs are tough to kick cold turkey.
It's not polite to point sharp wooden things unless you know you're dealing with evilies.
No offense but two weeks down here and I'd rather move back in with my mother. Lorne
Some people kill monsters professionally.
A dead guy no longer needs a weapon.
Lets go professional on this evil son of a bitch's ass. Angel
A "father" shouldn't have to ask his "daughter" for permission to do something.
Not all lives are lonely and empty horrors although many are.
Everyone wants to belong somewhere.
If everything is taken from you then nothing is left.
Some suck at sports but there are strength in numbers.
No one likes crazy talking demons that talk in riddles and in the third person.
Feeling even pain is better than nothing at all.
Give a fella brownie points for only drinking pig's blood.
You can find out things in the strangest places.
If you tear a vampire's guts out he won't go dead until you stake him.
People have names so they know who they are and the people they know since it would be hard going around to people and saying, "Hey you there!"
The sun being back doesn't mean that things are swell.
Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sometimes you need to chop up the messenger into little pieces.
And that's why when you use words like ugly ass and beastie we can sometimes do more damage than we intend to. It' ain't all about sticks and stones my young friends. Lorne
It's good to listen to the wise green demon with his life lesson because words do hurt.
Remember that green is beautiful.
Not liking what you're not hearing can become worse when the truth comes out all twisted and distorted.
Know when to get the hell out.
Sure things tend to be soft inside but being impaled doesn't always kill a person.
Open the portal by using blood on the glowy round thing but only the one with no pulse can go there.
When nothing else is handy use The Club after all it is made of metal.
You're one twisted bitch if you get off on the pain of being ripped and healed over and over again.
Never underestimate the power of an elbow in the face.
Know when to surrender after all the ones you are fighting are under a spell and aren't really responsible for what they're doing.
Losing your free will doesn't make everything all right.
If  belonging means following some bogus God and killing in her name then you're damn right we don't. Gunn
Don't get all gloaty not the worst beating we've ever taken. Gunn
If you're all knowing you shouldn't have to ask.
You can't bluff a smarty pants.
In Quor-toth people have a different concept of beauty.
Beauty is in the maggoty eye of the beholder.
The unattainable isn't always so unattainable.
It's always the hard way when you're in a hurry.
Sure all your worries are gone because you're about to be eaten by the psycho Jasmine.
You can't always take comfort in words from someone that eats people.
Taking over a girl and getting her pregnant so she can give birth to herself is very much hurting someone.
Bugsy can actually be right about what he's saying.
Some guys are not big on the talking thing and aren't thrilled about giving interviews.
Yeah well people get born for all sorts of reasons. Angel
Not killing mom implies that if she tried to do soemthing it would damage herself.
Please doesn't always work.
It's good to start questioning things.
Some things are just too good to be free.
What better way to wake everyone up than to show up at the press conference to reveal her true name.
Some names are simply impossible to pronounce.
Keep kicking until you get the door open.
Never give up. Never surrender. Gunn
Give a guy his props when he gets you out of the cell.
When the truth is revealed the people go a little crazy.
It's our right to have a choice even if some people are dumb.
Sometimes the price is just too high.
Sometimes becoming human is a work in progress.
Our faith has to be our own or we're nothing. Angel
All you can do is try to make up for things done in the past and make the the world a better place.
A little electricity is worth a short even if it doesn't work.
Some things don't bear much thinking about especially if a granddaughter kisses her grandpa.
To kill sometimes shoving a fish through her head will do the trick.
You can always be surprised and not always pleasantly.
End world well you already took care of that congratulations. Lilah
When you come back from Hell you're dying for a drink.
Some offers positively dumbfound you and make you mute.
Just the LA branch. Hi from another dimension what the hell does that mean? Lorne
Right where the slaves are full of giggly, joy, and love what a nightmare. Lilah
Getting into her stomach is too much of a price to pay since it implies that you've been eaten.
Peace comes at a price. Lilah
We ended a nefarious global domination scheme not world peace. Right? Fred
Some things can't be found and shouldn't be.
Don't be mean to the guy that was about to kill himself and don't start beating up on him since that's the last thing he needs.
The kid needs a leash if you ask me. Gunn
Consider the option from the dead lady.
Some people like sticking pins in maps and dusting off books.
It's awkward to come face to face with your dead lover whose head you cut off.
Remove your shoes to be extra stealthy.
It wouldn't hurt to take a look to see what's going on.
Whare are the odds that the humans would be the most corrupted? Wes
Go to Wolfram & Hart with your eyes open and your wits about you.
Great minds think alike.
So it's an evil limo I get that but does it mean that you don't restock the cherries? Lorne
Be on guard at all times when you enter Wolfram & Hart.
It's a good sign when you weren't blown up in the limo and being allowed to carry around weapons during the stay at Wolfram & Hart makes one feel a little more secure.
Oh you're so cynical see it's gonna work out great. Lilah
Just because we tried to kill or corrupt each and every one of you at one time or another doesn't mean we can't be trusted. Lilah
Even Wolfram & Hart is honorable in thier own way.
A gun makes on feel more secure.
No No I don't think you have to tell me what you represent young man I know. Evil! Pure evil! Which is also apparently everyone I've always wanted to meet. Lorne
Be careful when the hot chick says Wolfram & Hart has grander plans for you.
D & D= Dungeons and Dragons
Don't trust the MacGyver of Wolfram & Hart.
It's not such a stretch to find a Watcher when there's a library of every book under the sun around and usually the English accent is a giveaway.
So this is what you came back from the dead to play let's make an evil deal? Angel
When you rush out to save the day on a regular basis it's good to stay mobile.
Goodbye Mr Sunshine. Hello Gloomy Avenger. Lilah
People don't need an unwielding champion. They need a man who knows the value of compromise and how to beat the system from inside the bell of the beast. Lilah
Beast belly doesn't that usually mean you've been eaten? Angel
Dead not stupid. Lilah
Watch the head it kinda comes off kinda easy. Been a little bit busy with the being dead. Lilah
Sometimes you have to make a deal for your son even if it requires the ultimate sacrifice.
People tend to be a bit on edge when they are all rigged to blow up by a little lost boy that's lost it big time.
Some like to take their time.
I didn't feel anything. I can't feel anything. I guess I'm really your son because I'm dead too. Connor
Saying sorry doesn't really fix anything.
The greatest sacrifices are done out of love.
There's only one thing that changes and that's death. Connor
Just because a girl's in a coma doesn't mean that a girl can't look her best.
The greatest gift to your son is to give him what he always wanted a home complete with a family even if you're not part of it.


Offering a hungry vamp money is not a bad idea but it tends not to work after all what's better than blood but hey there's a first time for everything.
Staying out of dark alleys is also a good idea.
Make sure you check your jacket for tracking devices.
If you have no idea what a machine is for in your lab ask someone after all you are the big wig in the department.
Werewolves And Ghosts
1. If you're going to lie about something come up with a good one and do your homework beforehand if possible to avoid looking silly.
2. A vampire can take out a werewolf with a sterling silver pen. Maybe when they are older they slow down a bit  perhaps.
3. Don't run in the park at night since that's a prime time for werewolves not to mention other things that go bump in the night.
4. Don't go back to the van if the door is open because odds are you will just find dead bodies and get ambushed and  you're out of luck if you suck at using a gun.
5. When following a ghost remember that you can't go through things although you may end up finding something useful.
6. If someone tries to eat you for dinner don't get a case of the guilties over killing one of them.
7. Don't let the monster win by avoiding the ones you love.
8. Three nights a month locked up isn't so bad if it allows you to lead a somewhat normal life.
9. If you're going to lie about something make sure it's about someone that you have actually met before because that is a dead giveaway.
Helpful Tips In Helping Spike Become Coporeal
 1. To make the ghost feel a little better act scared and drop your things at the same time to make it more believable.
 2. Make sure that you eat and sleep otherwise you might go crazy and what would happen to the poor soul that you're trying to help. Six hours would be ideal and don't eat day old leftovers from takeout.
 3. If you see someone slicing their feelers that's a really bad sign not to mention very unattractive. Also just slicing up your face just doesn't attract the ladies.
 4. If you're trapped between the world and Hell it's not a good sign if you start seeing ghosts that no one else can see.
 5. If an empty elevator opens don't get inside. You just may not like where it takes you.
 6. It's a little rude to pop up on someone in the bathroom and start making cracks about a guy's...
 7. Be careful when doing a seance because the medium may end up dead have medics on hand just in case.
 8. Wiggley fingers on a table are pretty creepy just go in the other direction and click your heels and say, "There's no place like home."
 9. If you have a piece of glass in your eye that is hurting you pull it out. That should ease the pain somewhat. It's got to be better than walking around with a piece of glass sticking out of your eye.
10. Writing on walls isn't a sign of craziness. Sometimes you just run out of room to write and need the extra space to write out your genius.
11. If you feel a spark that is a sign that someone is trying to reach out and touch you that you can't see.
12. Don't creep up on people hum or something especially if you're a vampire that is known to be all stealthy.
13. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean that there isn't something there.
14. It is a very bad sign when someone coughs up blood because it means that an evil spirit is killing her.
15. If a seance is necessary wear a mask and cover yourself to avoid the gross factor of being drenched in blood by the dying medium.
16. Going to Hell isn't so bad when you have someone with you for company even if it's someone that you never really liked and there's this whole rivalry going on between the two of you.
Ghostie Do's And Don'ts
1. He can't drink blood. Talk about sucking when you can't even get the normal sutenance for a vamp especially when you're around other vamps that can drink blood to their heart's content.
2. He can't smoke again with the not being able to really hold things although he could probably enjoy the smell of one if someone would light one up for him to sniff.
3. He can't drink blood so he has to make do with the smell since nothing captures a vamp's attention like the ruby red.
4. He can't diddle his willy again because he's incoporeal sorta like the First but not in the evil way.
5. He can watch the others stumble around playing Agatha Christie.
6. He can go through walls which can really come in handy especially if you want to make a quick exit.
7. He can pick up a mug if he concentrates very hard.
8. He can pop into the bathroom and crack jokes so be weary when you have to go.
It's not always a good idea to leave Lorne alone with someone.
Angelus' Tips On Vamphood
Well you're new and a little dim so let me explain to you how things are now.
1. There's no belonging or deserving anymore.
2. You take what you want.
3. Have what you want.
4. But nothing is yours not even her.
5. You know you really should find a name for yourself especially if it doesn't strike the right note of terror.
6. If you want someone come and take her.
A stern warning doesn't work when you have a zero tolerance policy.
A hangover is to be expected when one does a bunch of drinking.
Some vamps just aren't all that great at the whole evil thing.
Sometimes the guy is just reaching for something behind the thermos.
Some people don't care enough to hate you.
Sometimes it's best to mind your own business.
Going out in a blaze of glory will lose it's luster if you turn up three months later in front of the girl you gave up your life for.
Sunshine is never the real name.
Enough with the cryptic Butch. Spike
Spike's Good Questions To Ask
Who or what are you?
What you want?
How fast I can snap your forearm before you answer?
If you're evil and trying to mess with your old enemy pick a new name not Doyle because that's in poor taste or at least have an Irish accent.
Don't keep the CEO in the dark.
Cost effective and the right thing to do is always pretty darn handy.
Don't mention gray areas since it makes some people very grumpy.
I get really violent when I get played. Spike
Visions striking and feeling like you ate ice cream too fast isn't a very accurate description.
Insulting the girl isn't nice although you may have a point.
Sound proof the walls or keep your arguing down to a roar.
Even a vamp can have a bad day every now and then.
Vampires don't get sick. Wes
The CEO is very relevant.
There are some things you're better off not knowing.
Sometimes throwing money around can solve problems.
Everyone deserves a little peace and quiet.
Dreams can be very strange.
Cutting into a vamp's chest very painful.
Spike refuses to be a kept boy.
Even a vamp has the right to change his mind.
It's a good idea to check in with the boss.
Some deserve the flames.
Checking on your boss is important.
Some lights are just too bright.
If you're having a dream in it won't say, "I'm not here you're dreaming."
It's rude to grab a bloke's drink since it's his booze not yours.
I don't need a babysitter so uh bugger off. Spike
I'm soft on the inside. Spike

Practice your fake visions so they look more realistic.
No need to thank me just helping the helpless.
Be careful that specimens don't escape and make sure there's an alarm or something if they do.
It's good to be observant especially when an evil bitch is out to get you.
Smearing the blood over the face of the guy you just carved with a bone saw is a serious sign of psychotism.
Golfing can get really ugly.
Save the alledged business for the courtroom.
Things work with a bit more immediacy in the real world. Wes
Sometimes a person is more likeable when all they want to do is hit people.
Rational thought it's an acquired taste. Charles
Some looney's been hatched from the bin translates to mental patient escaped the psych ward.
Make sure you mention possession first thing since that's important.
Don't go storming in with the troops until you know what's going on especially if it could involve possession.
Possesion cases need to be handled very carefully.
Is pathological idiot an actual conditon? Angel
There isn't always a demon that needs repossessiong.
You eat it you buy it.
You're wicked conspicious if you roam the streets in a hospital gown.
Monkey gibberish just may turn out to be Romanian.
Multiple personality manifestations are often assoicated with cases of possession. Wes
Don't be so quick to go all grr face because it could bite you in the ass later.
Hone your sense so you come to the realization that the psycho is a Slayer.
If you're a vamp it wouldn't kill you to learn a few languages since it could come in handy and you've got the time.
Just because the girl starts speaking Chinese doesn't mean that she's possessed by a Chinese demon especially if it's the same thing that the Slayer you killed during the Boxer Rebellion said before she died.
Dance of death. Eternal struggle. Right. Got it. Spike
Save the snacking for later or at least provide munchies for everyone and don't forget the blood.
Watch where you walk so you don't trip over the dead guy.
Work on a manly scream to raise that 82% to 84%.
Blood sorta smells metallic and coppery like a penny.
Taste a penny to get the sense of the smell but don't pick one up off the street to pop into your mouth.
Big news always comes with a conference call.
Blood doesn't smell like nickels even if it smells stronger.
When a fist goes towards your face try to duck to avoid getting smacked to the ground.
Make sure your gun is fully functional and that you know how to use it have have better aim.
One a vamp's got your scent locked in he can track you for miles.
You want to focus on what's real. Spike
Don't forget to tell the Shaman no cadavers when you need him to reattach a pair of hands and don't forget the hands.
Some feel that there's hope yet for the little ponce upon hearing the news that he doublecrossed them.
Many were innocent victims once upon a time including vampires.
Some guys just shave their head and actually have hair that can be grown back and not be prematurely bald.
Eve I mind you breathing. Get out. Angel
Some people as in human beings deserve bad things to happen to them especially if they are evil.
There's a woman behind you can mean exactly that and not have anything to do witht he vision.
Apparently Darla isn't rock bottom when it comes to groin buddies since there is always someone lower.
You won't actually lose your soul by walking into the new Wolfram & Hart offices.
And I'll let you walk out of here with your head still attached to your body. Angel
Sometimes it's best to avoid bloodshed since it's a bitch to get out of the carpet.
Sometimes irony is a bitch.
If your hands have been hacked off and reattached try video games to do your rehab.
Getting one's hands hacked off requires some time to recuperate.
Rehab mate. Working out the digits. Spike
You only feel half the pain if only one hand got hacked off instead of both.
Beware of the stupid plumber since it can make one grumpy which can endanger the breakables like the TV.
If somone has been in a coma sleep is the last thing on her mind
Snooping can lead to memories of someone dear that was lost.
It's up to you to find out who you are.
Kicking it old school shouldn't be said by Wes.
If somebody really wants to stay hidden by prepared for badness.
She's evil, you gormless tit. Spike
The above statement will stop anyone in their tracks at being called a tit.
Biting someone doesn't exactly show signs of changing.
I see fangs, I'm gonna play dentist. Angel
One that doesn't go around biting people has a better soul.
A taste test for demons is to bite because evil demons are more astringent with a sort of oakie, really...
Don't insult the guy who had good intentions by calling him braintrust.
Come on, lads no need to be gentle. We're all dead men here.
An oh crap moment is when smoke and rumbing start up.
Just keep pushing buttons until the crystal pops up.
Seabreezes are a must after giving blood for a spell especially when the spell refers to you as an unclean.
Everyone including yourself can be the one in need.
If you aren't too sure what you did with your life before Wolfram & Hart you seriously need a night of fun.
I seem to recall lots and lots of Jenga. Wes
It's funny how you lose part of your mind when you stop using it. Lawson
Don't ever work in the lab alone unless security is greatly improved to avoid a psycho from coming in and stringing you up and nearly getting your head ripped off.
Once a brooder always a brooder.
It's very rude to break into a guy's aparmtent wielding stakes and crossbows and throwing around orders.
It's handy to know how to tap out a SOS code.
If you see your friend tied up don't walk farther into the room because the one that did this will come up behind you and clock you.
Don't ever go to a free virgin blood party. Turns out it's probably a trap. Spike
One minute, I'm asking a fellow why all the virgins look like gerbils. Next minutes I'm stuck in a box in this cursed ship.
Most things are complicated nowadays.
Sub Surivival Tips
 1. Keep your head down. That way you won't get your head blown off or knocked off it someone starts firing at you.
 2. Watch each other's backs. If you keep watch of those around you, you are more likely to get out of this mess alive.
 3. Stay alert. Duh! If you aren't you're as good as dead.
 4. Follow our lead. You need to have someone in charge that has a clue about what's going on.
 5. Be positive with statements like, "We'll get out of this, all right?"
 6. You may need to work with the enemy to get to the surface since you're stuck at the bottom of the ocean.
 7. Feel free to speak freely.
 8. You don't always need to know why.
 9. Follow orders because that's the whole point.
10. Being scared is understandable as long as you keep it together.
The past can come back and seriously bite you on the ass.
Check the torpedoes before I stuff you in a tube and send you for a swim, Captain.
If you eat the Captain you can be called Captain after all the bloke's sorta inside you.
Sometimes getting the answer to a question doesn't really help.
To be most effective in terrozing the evil Nazi don't forget to put your game face on.
Hurry things up before someone gets peckish.
Well, gravy, I'll meance. You talk. Spike
Some blokes respect those who play both sides against each other.
You don't win a war by doing whatever it takes. You win by doing what's write. Lawson
Oh how things change when you go from human to vampire especially if you're soulless.
Be careful when setting papers on fire make sure you put them down before your hand goes up in flames.
Shouting, "Bloody Hell!" over and over again gives you something to do when you are being fired at.
Sometimes it takes a bit logner than you expect to be hit so don't assume that you were missed.
Sometimes you need to get sure fast.
Tie up the Nazi so he doesn't attack the one guy that can fix the problem.
Bloody brilliant. Turn the poor sod to save the ship. Then make him dash for dry land before Mr. Sunshine scorches him a new one. You're still a dick! Spike
Sometimes it's never enough even if being an evil son of a bitch doesn't keep one busy.
We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Lawson
Revenge is best served cold not frozen solid.
Don't go over to the TV if the puppet starts talking to you since it's likely a demon that will suck away your life force and put you into a coma with a creepy grin on your face a la Joker.
Sometimes it's ok to be a bad apple especially when the puppet is talking to you and telling you to touch it.
Sometimes crap just doesn't cover it when you're describing something.
Get a clue if the werewolf girl comes in all dressed up when it's her time of the month that means she totally likes you.
Telling your sister that you're a werewolf isn't exactly easy to confess.
Camping in the desert is a good excuse to use but the person might start thinking that you've turned into some new agey moon worshipping Wicca person and if you fess up she might be relieved that you're just a werewolf.
A goof up can imply one of two things: 1. You need more sleep pronto or 2. Your upgrade is fading.
If a girl asks you to breakfast say yes or no.
What Not To Do When You Get An Invite To Breakfast
Well of course I ahem ignored it, completely changed the subect, and locked her in a cage.
Angel can be rather dense but so can another guy around who will remain nameless but has an English accent and his name rhymes with Presley.
That'd be funny you know it if wasn't. Lorne
It's a bad sign when the janitor is walking around in a zombie state.
If you see a sign that says Don't it would be a good idea to step carefully since you could get turned into a puppet.
If you walk into a room where you find a guy that's hunched over with a towel on his head and tells you that you shouldn't be there run away fast.
If you see a giant egg thing start to smile run unless you want to become a puppet.
If someone gets too chatty yell the person's name to get her attention.
Your boss getting turned into a puppet is a sure sign that the problem is mystical.
Don't be afraid to speak up even if what you say is, "Maybe it's some type of puppet cancer."  Lorne
It's tricky to work the remote when you're a puppet.
Stupid piece of crap! Angel
If you can't work the remote ask someone to help.
Dive under the desk and turn off the TV if you hear someone coming but be quiet so you don't get caught.
Getting turned into a puppet gives a guy a serious case of the grouchies.
Lock the door so no one can come in  your office and so your condition remains a secret.
You're a wee little puppet man!
Apparently a vamp can get beat up by a puppet especially if you start mocking him.
Listen Santa you can keep your tempting beverages to yourself. Lorne
Cocoa is extra yummy when it has those itty bitty marshmellows.
Deformi whats? Lorne
Having horns doesn't make you deformed it just makes you unique and attractive in a exotic sort of way.
Sometimes it's best to leave and stop talking to the hump of garbage especially if your brain is on the fritz.
Say bad person when bad names are frowned upon.
If you were grouchy to someone you really should apologize especially if it's a girl you like and vice versa.
Don't get to close to the bars or the werewolf girl will try to eat you.
If you wake up with some stuffing in your mouth it's a bad sign although try to be calm until you know whether you ate the puppet or not.
Even heroes care what others think of them.
Is there a Gepetto in the house? Lorne
It's rude not to bring coffee for everyone.
The girl sending the other guy home is a total sign that she likes you Clueless Wonder.
Everything is stupid when you're a puppet.
Well, then let's take out some puppets. Angel
It's time to kick your ass all the way back to Hell. Angel
Don't look at the nest egg.
If you like the girl invite her to breakfast and find out what puppets eat since you won't be back to normal for a few days.
A big fat honking signal is a kiss to show the guy that you are interested.
It may require more kissing to make the signal more clear.
It's highly unlikely to meet a bunch of junkies and spoilt movie actors in the graduate Physics Program at UCLA.
Rodger Burkle slept in the drawer until he was three and it didn't stunt him none.
Mom threatening to move in is a way to scare you but it's all in good fun.
Never leave home without Feigenbaum because he's the Master of Chaos and he'll love LA.
Wielding a flame thrower is neither dull nor boring.
Talking about nasty little buggers can turn a fellow on.
It is kind of romantic a roaring fire snug little nest. Fred
If something is on a person's back you have two options ask him to turn around or impale him but only if he's a vamp.
In the heat of battle there isn't always time to talk only to react.
I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments. Spike
Weren't for me you'd be bug food, so stop whinging. Spike
Always like a new specimen. Fred
Curiosity killed the cat enough said.
Some people since when they are unutterably cheery.
The ex boyfriend has to mess a little with the current one 'cause the look on his face is priceless.
No secret's in the House Of Pain. Gunn
It's nice to ask for the ex's blessing especially if he's a dear friend.
And to add the necessary boiler plate, you ever hurt her I' a kill you like a chicken. Gunn
It's good to see the big picture or any picture for that matter.
Sometimes it is about what you want.
If cave men and astronauts got into a fight the cavemen would totally win.
If a sarcophagaus shows up don't touch it send it away.
No. No ebay. After that commorative plate incident I'm living clean. Fred
Don't be so quick to open things.
Mummies can be a lot more trouble than you think. Knox
Don't get too close to a thing that unexectedly shows up since a whiff of air can prove your undoing.
There are some things you shouldn't touch unless you're suited up in protective gear.
Are you saying we should start annoying other people? Spike
Some people can't stand to have competition.
You fight the good fight, but in style. Angel
A roving agent. Sort of a Double-0-7 without the pouncy tux. Spike
But that doesn't make any sense the cavemen have fire. That's what they live with in their caves. The astronauts should at least have some sort of weapon. Fred
Get a balcony, you two, huh? Lorne
Catch the girl before she stumbles down the stairs.
Worrying is a dumb and pointless exercise but sometimes we can't avoid it.
Parasitic agents are really bad especially when they cook the organs and in a day liquify.
If you are busy on a top priority and a guy comes by bugging you and won't let up shoot him in the leg to get your point across.
You make a deal and you're screwed royally!
Well I'll be damned all over again. Angel
I'm Jake La Motta over here. It's pathetic. Lorne
A good punch to the face can make the bitch sing for her very life.
Say it with a song in your heart. Angel
If nodbody think it's too ridiculous I'm going to pray. Lorne
A plane goes much higher than a helicopter.
Spike On Les Miz
Trust me halfway through the first act, you'll be drinking humans again.
I finally get you up to my bedroom and all you want to do is read. Fred
I need noise to keep me here. Fred
Some guys are cursed to like splotchy girls.
Don't read The Dread Host's Compendium Of Immortal Leeches when a girl asks you to read to her.
When is a door not a door? When it's sodding well not there. Spike
It's the entrance to the Deeper Well or Christmasland. Spike
It's important to have some fun.
Sometimes the strategy requires holding one's hand.
A slip of the tongue can get you seriously dead.
Even Angel has to admit that Spike is right sometimes.
Be weary of a God that is referred to as it.
A deal made can result in the death of someone you love.
There isn't always time for quirks.
Some people really don't like questions.
It's impossible to avoid questions since they tend to pop up often.
If you say to hell with the world actually mean it.
To hell with the world. Angel
Sometimes fighting isn't enough.
Some choices have to be made with the head and not the heart no matter how painful.
An axe doesn't always do the trick especially if it's an old one.
It's impossible to get drunk with those tiny bottles of Jack.
Stock the plane with normal sized bottles so one can drown his woes.
Thousands would have died if we saved her. She wouldn't have wanted that. Spike
Sometimes the whole greater good thing really sucks big time.
Knowing that something was the right thing doesn't take away the pain.
Thinking of something else even if it's something silly so you can forget even for a little bit your grief.
There are exceptions to every rule such as: vampires, a ghost, Buffy.
Well in the world of men a person dies you stay that way. Spike
Death doesn't have to be the end. Not in our world. Rules can be broken. All you have to do is push hard enough. Angel
Sometimes torturing is a good thing.
Do not laugh at others pain.
The infection Illyria consumed her. Took over her body. She's gone. Wesley
It really sucks beyond the telling of it when you lose someone you love.
Beat yourself up later and focus on what's important.
You can't see everything even when you're able to read people.
If he's doubting himself he won't be any good to us. Spike
Sometimes it's helpful to play a round of pinanta with Lab Boy while the others are out.
Confession is supposed to be good for the soul so fess up since it's bound to come out eventually.
Keep your footing. I need you sharp. All of you for Fred's sake. Angel
Stick together in a crisis.
Then we'll find a way to fill it back up. Angel
The thing only took over her body it's the tip of the theological. Spike
It's the soul that matters. Angel
Flash fried in a pillar of fire saving the world I got better. Spike
There's never a witch around when you need one. Wes
Rupert Giles has become a completely unreasonable the pompous ass.
No one likes to be put on hold.
Smash the phone when you get bad news.
We're on our own. Angel
It's good to know what's going on.
Don't underestimate primitives.
Actually this world isn't void of warriors no matter what some say they shall remain nameless.
It is totally cheating to play with time speeding yourself up and slowing everyone else down.
Great she's super strong and can alter time. Angel
Sometimes you just do it even if it's complicated.
It's hard to track one with no scent.
Sometimes it isn't enough.
It's always messy when you have to open them up. Dr Evil
The less invasive procedures are preferred by those who don't like the sight of blood.
Blood makes some people nauseous.
The customer's always right. Dr Evil
Everything you know or there won't be enough of you to stich back Dr Frankenstein. Gunn
I don't remember seeing stab Gunn on the agenda this morning. Angel
Sometimes your emotions drive you to hurt someone that is in part to blame for the death of a loved one.
I avoided the major organs he'll probably live. Wes
Sometimes you need to bury your grief and focus on stopping the Leather Queen who is set on unleashing Hell on Earth.
Signs That The Torture Work
1. Screams are inevitable.
2. Body fluids sometimes leak out.
3. You get a name like Bahalanesh.
You'd think I would have remembered seeing something like that parked next to the Ralphs. Angel
Sometimes a skeleton key is needed.
If there aren't any seats left you could always just stand in the back.
Guys you should scan the headlilnes here. You can't win. Knox
Sometimes you take a risk because it's right even if you could die doing it.
Keep it short and sweet.
Let's start with you walking around looking like the woman you murdered. Angel
A gunshot can spoil the moment even if the guy really deserved it.
Yeah ok but you gotta admit he had it coming. Spike
It's very important to know what the problem is.
Use the gem from the sarcophagus to stop the warping of time.
The bragging loses steam when it goes all up in piles of ash.
Surprises aren't always a good thing.
The Leather Queen still has enough juice left to be a threat.
We regroup and we take care of it. Angel
Some days seem to last an eternity.
When the CEO calls a meeting people should acutally show up unless of course everyone is occupado.
What I'm listening with beer. Spike
Instead of assigning the guy recon all the time try giving him the opportunity to save the damsel in distress.
Hate to break it to you mate but bad things always happen everwhere. Spike
Stop operating in the dark and figure out what's going on.
Saving one's ass is high on the list of priorities.
If you pay a high price for something don't let it go to waste.
Knowing exactly where you are is a particular skill for some people.
There just isn't enough booze in the world to dull the pain but you don't stop trying.
When one dozes off one tends to stay still although there may be some noises.
Some Hells appear nicer than others.
No one can fake it through the Pina Coloda song not once the chorus kicks in. Lorne
Be open to suggestions.
The wrath is bound to be quite a pickle.
Not everything is listed in the Thomas Guide.
Alternate dimensions have suns of the non frying variety.
Something ugly can actually appear quite the opposite.
Nuts and bolts you're in Hell we come to break you out. Spike
A suit can do some serious damage like putting a fist through a guy's chest and do it while he's very well dressed.
If I was gonna kick ya it wouldn't be quick. Angel
There are just some things you want to savor.
Poke the button until the doors close.
Finding a bunch of hearts on the floor is a sure sign that you need to get the hell out pronto.
You can't break a mystical lock.
Look for the lights to flash to know which car it is.
This is my house the only ideas that matter are mine. Angel
Just because you stole a human's body doesn't mena you're the slightest bit human.
It's all how you look at the glass.
Know when you need help and ask for it.
When someone's bound to get seriously hurt doing a job Spike's your man.
Drinking yourself into a coma and chasing ghosts gets you nowhere.
Sleep is vital so take the time for it.
If you're still alive start acting like it.
Reeking of frustration tends to be Scotch.
Sometimes Broody Pants can get you wound up.
Remember that Broody Pants can't get laid without going crazy which makes it funny.
Some guys like being insolent because it's fun.
Just because you don't understand a person all of the time doesn't mean you won't follow his lead and be loyal.
There are no coincidences.
Acting like mental patients is a sign of love and worry.
 A door getting ripped off the car is a pretty good reason to get scared since it's not Avon calling or Dominoes delivering a pizza.
When you're well adjusted you take even the strangest things pretty well.
Enhanced abilities isn't really something to complain about.
To avoid the loneliness one needs to keep busy.
You filthy harlot! I'm gonna tear your neck out! Spike
Some guys really get into their work.
It's the outfit. I guess I've always had a thing for older women. Connor
Whoa this place is way better than college. Connor
Somet h ings aren't up for discussion especially when it involves the son that no one remembers.
Protesting and wanting to do something alone can make one curious and out to find out what's going on.
Never underestimate making an entrance by killing all of the guards that you can find to get someone's attention.
Some urns just don't go with the decor.
Urns tend to break. Long lost enemies tend to return. I need finality to my affairs. Cybers
Sometimes you have to give in to threats since there's no other choice.
The prophecy doesn't say you can't have a little help. Angel
Always look for the loophole.
Fair is not something we worry about although maybe ya shold in some instances.
Don't let the chatty demon slow you down.
Really old demons ahve that funky old people smell.
Don't act all fatherly towards the son that has no idea who you are since it leads to kinda creeping him out.
Ugly burned demons don't grant wishes.
Being trapped in an urn isn't a day at the spa.
Get to the killing instead of chatting with the demon you're supposed to kill.
Learning to cope is a good but difficult thing to do.
Prophecies are turning out to be prety overrated. Sahjean
Getting touched on the neck makes some guys cranky.
The whole fighting thing isn't for everyone.
Some people need to lighten up and not be so serious all the time.
Being different can be a good thing.
You gotta do what you can do to protect your family. I learned that from my father. Connor
It's odd to come back to work after being trapped in Hell for the past two weeks getting your heart ripped out every day.
A lot of paperwork piles up after two weeks.
I stabbed you. I should apologize but I'm honestly not sure how. I think it'll just be awkward. Wes
After having your heart ripped out each day for the past two weeks kinda makes a jab in the gut not worth mentioning.
When all is odd you need to adjust.
Words can cause a case of vertigo.
Adapting is what people do.
When you think you know everything there isn't anything left for you to know.
The one who dies with the most toys wins eh? Spike
Using your time altering power is cheating.
Exchanging words doesn't always qualify as talking.
Don't go in Wes's office because in there he's full strength crazy.
Ever heard of the term appointment? Angel
If this is our change to get into a better grace with the head office I'd say it's not my priotity. Angel
You should know what day it is without giving it a thought unlike the date.
The words of time are irreversible.
Now, now manners. Wes
Some questions need to be asked as well as answered.
I'm not into making deals anymore. Gunn
Not making deals makes it pretty tough when you're a lawyere.
It's tough enough already making business go smoothly for a bunch of hideous, scaely evil clients. Gunn
Oops a good rule of thumb is to figure out who your client is.
Better to be shoved along with the desk up to the window instead of sent crashing through it because that just wouldn't end well.
Even though the pregnant woman isn't your client give her the chance to back out before it's too late.
At Wolfram & Hart curing cancer wouldn't be cost effective.
The thought of Illyria with friends is amusing because in her mind everyone is about as significant as a bug.
Pressure and shortness of breath during your third trimester is perfectly normal.
Manners can go a long way.
Keep your thingie on at all times.
If the walkie is getting you nowhere try the phone for better results.
You don't interrupt our work! You understand me?
Interrupting cause the boss a case of grumpiness.
You better keep your thingie on for this to work ok. Lorne
Mind melding with a potted fern is a sign that someone's blown her gaskets.
Spike and Wes are motivated go getters.
If Illyria blows big time Rand McNally will have to redraw their maps.
Make sure you know how to use a walkie talkie otherwise it's pointless.
This is my kingdom lady not yours! Angel
Pushing the white haired one out of the way to avoid him getting staked and you end up getting impaled is a sign that you care a little bit about the guy.
There isn't always time to wilt in terror.
Some have the knack for the impossible.
It's not murder if you say yes. Spike
Something weird can be helpful in a strange way.
Do a full risk analysis before acting becuase full cocked is better than half cocked at least in theory.
Full cocked isn't always all it's cracked up to be since losing another baby with the bath water would suck.
Bugger off do it yourself. Spike
If it's a delicate matter that needs to be treated with finesse Spike's not your man unless of course the B word is mentioned.
Not to be some glorified garbage collector.
If you've never heard of a certain demon that could imply that he's human tolerant and no threat.
If you don't speak the language get a book.
Yeah how do you say wank off in Italian? Spike
Can somebody please just get on the plance. Gunn
All right what is it this time ubervamps, demon Gods, devil robots? Spike
Find out what you're getting into so you're prepared.
When someone asks you what happened don't keep rushing away and have to be asked a second time just answer the question.
Put aside differences when on a dangerous mission.
It's impossible to get drunk off the tiny bottles on the plane.
Not us anyway vampire constitution not always a plus. Spike
I drank a lot of them and I still don't like you. Angel
Sending your lackeys to do your stalking for you that's really pathetic. Spike
If you're gonna spy have more than one spy for maximum results.
You totally missed out if you weren't in Italy in the 50's with Spike.
We'll see just how immortal he is when we're done with him. William
We'll carve him up like a Sunday roast make him watch as we feast on his steaming flesh. Angelus
The Immortal is very territorial.
All right take your best shot. I'll snatch your little wee sticks out of the air and spend the next fortnight shoving 'em slowing up your arses. Angelus
You don't know until you try.
A bluff can be quite effective.
Ah how about lucky we didn't kill you when you went nuclear. Lorne
Never underestimate a Sea Breeze.
It's too bad that whirley jig thing didn't suck the sass out of her. Lorne
Who could forget the Burkles the best gosh darn parents ever who you can't help but love to pieces.
A cultural misunderstanding can lead to your place being incinerated.
Entrate pura. I part my threshold I mean my apartment. Andrew
Some things sound downright dirty even if they weren't meant that way.
Only one person can go in the door at a time
Just when you think it can't get any worse it does.
Time for another pony ride. Dru
He felt like sunshine. Dru
Will you hold me under the water? Dru
Not all death is quick. Angelus
I think it's time for blood vengeance. Angelus
Good luck trying to get in with Blood Vengeance since it's not likely to be on the list.
The man has no sense of indecency. William
Nuns are Angelus's thing.
When a girl reachs a certain age she earns the right to make her own decisions and in Fred's case that would be at the age of seven.
It woudl be kinder to put a knife through Wes's heart instead on putting on a Fred act because you don't even come close.
Don't lose the bag with the head keep it in your hands at all times.
Ours is the forever love. Angel
Ok sleeping together is not a relationship. Angel
I had a relationship with her too. It is if you do it enough times. Spike
Where do you think you're going with our head Jeeves? Spike
I don't suppose we could talk about this over a nice Amaretto. Angel
Sometimes violence is the only answer.
Watch out for demons with ears coming out of his cheeks they are quite the sticky fingers.
When your partner hits you hit him back although you should save the punching for the other guys after all you are on the same side.
A person can get confused in a club what with the music and lighting.
It's bad enough to have your head stolen but your car too is really rude.
Hop on little mama. Spike
It could be worse at least this time you don't have to wear a pink helmet.
Stop holding on so tight. Spike
Honk to avoid hitting pedestrians.
Make sure you know who's in charge of the head.
Estrada means street.
Saving the arguing for later especially when time is of the essence.
Wolfram & Hart has an office in Rome that looks identical to the one in LA.
The CEO of the Rome office thinks Spike is the very meaning of handsome and hey who'd disagree.
The CEO of the Rome office believes gypsies are filthy people that she will speak of no more.
Anything you want you can get from the Rome office.
If the employees are mean you can fire them just one of the perks of being the boss.
A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone.
You don't want an office as bare as a bog.
The Italian Wesley likes the napping.
Rome is supposed to be civilized where kidnappings happen and ransoms get paid leading to everyone going home happy.
Necklace or not it still counts as saving the world.
Being run through with a sword doesn't count as saving the world even though you were evil at the time and made it her it.
Never underestimate the cut of a guy's trousers.
Don't ever pretend to be Fred again because it simply can't be done because she was one of a kind.
It's been his plan all along steal our head, keep us busy and traipse off with my girl. Our girl. Spike
The Immortal's book is said to be a life changer.
If you've been around for centuries it's long past time for an actual name because The Immortal is pretty lame name wise.
It's tacky to play keep away with the head.
A head isn't always a head since it could be a bomb.
It's not so civilized when the squeaker ruins your leather jacket.
Some things can be replaced and ten more leather jackets at home eases the sting of losing the one worn for the past thirty years.
For first timers expect a bomb but it would be nice to get a heads up.
Brute force will only get your precious heads smooshed. Yolana
Sometimes you have to put your faith in a higher power. Yolana
It's odd to hear someone from Evil Inc talking about a higher power since you would think they would be all about the lower powers or whatever since they're hand in hand with Hell.
Know when to pack it in and go home.
Oh God yeah you can't get me out of this rathole of a country fast enough. Spike
You know you've sunk low if nerd boy is actually making sense for a change.
Stop running in place because it gets you nowhere.
Buffy loves both of you but she's got to live her life. People can change you guys should try it sometime. Andrew
A nerd in Rome is quite appealing to the ladies.
Just because you're wearing the packaging doesn't make you the real thing.
Never you like this it sickens me. Wes
Lose the jacket that makes you look like a race car driver even if it's supposed to be the height of fashion.
I wasn't the one living in allies rubbing rat filth all over my face. Spike
Just face it let the girl live her own life and you both do the same and maybe one day you'll see her again and she'll make her choice.
Actually I'm doing it right now as we speak I'm moving on. Spike