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In an age of light and darkness
Zeus King of the Gods ruled the universe
He had a son Young Hercules
Half god half man young Hercules
longs to find his place in the world
The father he's never known
and what it means to be a hero
Before the man became legend
Before the legend became myth the greatest adventure of all.
The Teacher
Cheiron
Head of the academy
Full of wisdowm
Although it can sound like riddles
A centaur warrior
That really knows his stuff
A most excellent teacher
The Cadets
Hercules
Cadet at the academy
Learning to be a warrior
Never met his father
Just happens to be King of the Gods
Wanting to prove himself
Meeting some family members
Most wanting him dead
One brother Hephaestus his friend
Making his way through life
That guy that's a bit different
But a truer friend you'll never meet
Iolaus
Blonde curly hair
With pretty baby blues
Once a thief
Now he's changed his ways
Loyal to his friends
Even at the risk of his life
Doesn't know how to swim
Although he should really learn
Jason
The Prince of Corinth
About to become King
Learning how to lead
Also how to fight
Likes to play too
Bored by his duties
Etiquette lessons always a yawn
Lilith
A girl that wants to be a warrior
Came to the academy to learn
Had a brief stay with the Amazons
But came back to learn more
After a bit of a rough patch
Soon found to be an equal match
Accepted as one of the guys
Wows them when she dresses girlie
Fresh Start
Theseus
Comes in with a bad start
Nearly killing a cadet
Becomes a drill leader
A real piece of word
Who is so full of himself
Bragging about his exploits
All talk and no action
A big fat liar is he
Froze at the sign of trouble
Not such a hotshot after all
Finally came clean and began anew
Became a cadet to learn
The Innkeeper
Kora
The one that owns the inn
More to her than meets the eye
Has a secret identiy
A follower of Artemis
Quite a beauty
Her life's not really her own
Payment for Artemis saving her
Has a sister named Chloe quite a hoot
Expect the unexpected. Iolaus
No dinars. No dinner. Kora
Not having dinars is a sign that you're broke.
Why don't you keep your hooves to yourself? Hercules
No shirt. No feet. No service. Kora
When you own the place you have the right to refuse service.
A tree that grows on the stoniest ground has the strongest roots. Cheiron
Don't forget to watch your footwork.
Even Zeus has to keep his word. Strife
Don't be so quick to run off to steal a chalice just because Zeus was mentioned.
Think before you leap.
If a trap looks too easy don't do something stupid.
Save the lecture until after the danger's over.
Don't pour the liquid out of the chalice until the danger's over.
If flames pop out then run like Tartarus.
Anything that has to do with Hera is never a good thing.
A blast was had when beans were served for a week in the dining hall.
Be careful when sneaking in.
Rope the phoenix so you can get your friend loose.
Be ready to catch your friend falling out of the sky.
Duh of course a firm girp is needed when dangling from a flying phoenix.
Ask for help before you run out of rope.
Don't forget to look before you leap.
Let a guy catch his breath first after you save his butt because a thank you is sure to follow.
Kill the phoneix to get the chalice back.
Use a cart of hay to break your pal's fall.
Needles can help with the stifness of faling from the sky and through the roof.
The warrior that depends on luck is a fool. Cheiron
Selfish desires often mask themselves as good intentions. Cheiron
Balance is the key. Don't think about where you're stepping just feel the pull. Cheiron
You should keep your friends in the loop.
Warriors must learn to fight back to back. Depend on your comrade as he depends on you. Cheiron
Alone Ioalaus with you? Ok sneak into the academy barn crawl into the hayloft, close your eyes and dream on. Kora
Not all girls are impressed by money and a future king.
Some have to fight for everything while others have everything handed to them.
No, no I bet attending those royal banquets is really tough. Iolaus
Being royalty isn't all fun and games.
Try dishes that don't break so Butter Fingers doesn't keep breaking them.
Be careful who you borrow money from.
We have nothing to hide the truth is our greatest weapon. Cheiron
Be patient let justice run its course. Cheiron
You fight worse than you dress you wanna be a real God you're gonna have to do better than that. Hercules
Being chased by birds is fine but make sure you explain things.
You can't play much of a game of melonball with a watermelon since it squashes easily but it can be quite tasty.
Ares is shorter in person.
Never underestimate the power of a kick.
A nice glass of lemonade is enjoyed by mortals and Gods alike.
If something's too easy be worried.
There are no excuses to get you out of kitchen duty.
It's good to have friends that will get you out of a tight jam.
Being the world's biggest party pooper automatically qualifies you as an adult.
There's nothing more annoying than a guy who has to keep starting over when he's counting the dinars.
There are some surprises you just don't want.
The Low Wags they're the most dangerous gang of theives around.
Tuition money is something worth stealing.
Never underestimate the power of a good bluff.
Send the horses off to delay the thieves.
Don't underestimate a bunch of wannabee warriors.
You can't rush in when there are hostages involved.
Moving the hostages is smart since it makes it impossible to rush in.
When your friend is trying to tell you something don't speak and if you do make sure that you cover by pretending to talk to your captors.
Never trust a hoodlum since as a rule they tend not to be people that keep their word.
Make sure the guy stays knocked out long enough to avoid him yelling to warn the others or just put a gag in his mouth when you tie him up.
It's vital to stay alert.
Cover the guy's mouth when you snatch him.
Blowing won't blow out the flames around you especially if lamp oil was poured on the floor around you and then it was ignited.
If no one will untie your bonds gnaw your way through them.
No one likes a double crosser.
When you don't know what it is you are eating it just doesn't appeal especially if it's all gloppy.
Friends shouldn't let a girl come between them.
Don't mock your centaur teacher for he is very wise.
Check Athens for a cook.
Girls are supposed to be sweet and gentle.
No one likes a sexist pig.
Working for your passage seriously sucks since swabbing the deck is no fun especially if you're a prince.
Don't let go of the rope.
When something is forbidden to you for some it just makes it all the more tempting.
To get the key you may have to cuddle.
Some guys are just more curious than others.
Swinging on a rope is a good idea but be warned that it could break.
People should not be cargo. Hercules
Remember that the Amazon Queen is in charge although she may need some help.
If you deceive Cyane she'll feed you to the sharks.
Don't hit on an Amazon unless you want to be in for a world of hurt.
Just because you heard something doesn't make it true.
Go to the source to find out the truth.
Even Amazons can be fooled by a God.
It's handy to have someone, sneaky, underhanded, and conniving.
If no tree is handy use a net and the ropes.
Protect the Queen at all costs.
If the wood breaks in two use both hands for maximum beating potential.
Use a bucket to stop the arrow.
Even an Amazon can admi that men can be helpful.
They're Amazons Iolaus they don't look men up they conquer them.
Sometimes you just gotta keep your options open.
Amazons don't seem to be the cooking type so don't even bother asking.
Someone that likes the quiet shouldn't be planning any parties.
Mind the hair. Iolaus
Respect and responsibility are the keys to an orderly society.
The Dean Of Mean will make you work all day if you knock him over.
If you don't show up on the first day of your job you're fired.
To give the illusion of Iolaus have some boots and rig a bale of hay to be pulled down.
If Meanie trys to go up to the loft squirt him in the eye with cow's milk.
Don't sample the food even if you're a waiter.
Tips On Waiting Tables When Your Teacher Is A Customer
1. Grab a hat and call it a cute gimmick where all the waiters can wear goofy hats.
2. Hold a bunch of dishes in front of you while taking his order.
3. Slouch down and hold your nose to make your voice sound different.
4. Walk with the tray backwards to give him his food.
5. Use the tray to hide your face.
6. Duck before you're seen after the owner of the hat snatches it off your head.
7. Who are you fooling anyone? But totally appreciate the tip.
You can't blame yourself for your son's mistakes.
Sometimes it's a teacher that learns a lesson. Cheiron
If the door is chained that's a pretty good sign the place is closed.
Gods as a rule tend not to worry about mortals being inconvenienced.
Favors tend to be free of charge.
If something goes wrong Iolaus' responsible. Jason
Always have someone to put the blame on.
Wash your hands when handling food.
No one wants to be tasting large tongue all night.
Blame the little punk for stealing the money.
Satrys are really bad for business not to mention the fact that they are lousy tippers.
Watch where you're walking.
Big guy with hooves go first got it. Iolaus
Yeah parsley it's this little green garnish it makes it look festive. Jason
Big, hairy, smelly goats don't care about parsley and festive food.
You shouldn't punish someone for something they didn't know.
It sucks being on the bottom.
Don't you break that bread. Hercules
You can also trip on an orange just like you can with a bannana.
Haven't you heard of hoof and mouth disease? Hercules
Running an inn is hard work.
A melon isn't always a melon since it could be filled with dinars.
Your friends should know when your birthday is even if you're the future king.
Fighting over a table is really lame.
Things Worth Fighting For
1. Over a kingdom.
2. Fighting for a noble cause.
3. Fighting to stop outlaws.
Well if you and this table seem to be so in love my friends and I won't keep you love birds apart any longer so do you want to be alone? Hercules
I said we wouldn't fight over a table I never said we wouldn't defend ourselves. Hercules
Dakuda: It's an award for the student demonstrating the highest ideals of the Academy.
Ideals: Honor, Skill, Loyalty
1st Test of Skill: One to one combat
You must be ready for anything. You must learn to see with other senses. Cheiron
If your blade breaks it's time to yield.
Hephaestus's own special alloy is three times as strong and twice as light as Phoneican iron. Trade secret magnetic material. It's also great for fighting dragons.
I trust that you don't think that being Dakuda is about shiny weapons. A Dakuda must learn to trust his or her senses. Cheiron
2nd Test: Fighting blindfolded
A Dakuda must be adept at one to one combat under any circumstances. Cheiron
A sword is not a toy.
I mean the last thing this world needs is for them to fall into the hands of some big, ugly, creepy funning looking kind of...Iolaus
Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut.
Just because someone doesn't want to fight doesn't mean that person doesn't need the weapons or won't fight if that person needs to.
Never trust a bully.
Well I know how it feels not to be liked. Hephaestus
Ugly bullies can run in families.
Never let a simple case of jealousy wreck a friendship.
Just because a girl's blind doesn't mean that she can't dole out an ass whuppin'.
Sometimes you have no choice but to fight. Cheiron
A warrior's strength comes from within. Cheiron
Just one thing if something wants that fancy belt of yours just give it to them. Lilith
Hey birthday boy treats. Iolaus
Story Time
They thought everything was quiet and then it came again that eerie scratching sound. So the man and the maiden sped off in the chariot. When they got home they found a monster stuck in the side of the chariot. Jason
I got a scary story for you. It takes place in a forest not unlike this in fact it could be in this very path. There were two no there were three young warriors coming from Troy and they hear this noise. Kinda like that. No it was harpies half woman half bird beast swoop down and the the flesh from your bones. Yeah yeah laugh all you want I swear it's true. They went down that path. Iolaus
I don't break laws just 'cause it's convenient. Jason
It's not very good for a future King to go around breaking laws after all he will be ruling one day.
A short cut isn't always a good idea.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Centaurs aren't lowly beasts.
The ancient feud between centaurs and Amazon is best left in the past. Cheiron
Never touch an Amazon's stuff.
Knocking the Amazon Queen down during a game of ball is a move worthy of an Amazon.
If the ball is high use your head.
It's hard to talk to someone when you keep getting interrupted.
You can't actually own a person.
As guests the Amazons are under the protection of the Academy.
You can't just ignore the law even when it's wrong.
Tradition Of Champion
Combat by champtions is a test of skill on the ropes. First one to knock the opponent to the ground wins.
The rules of champions I win I get a reward. Hercules
Check the scroll since rules are rules.
Great Kings learn from their losses.
Every beginning starts with another beginnings end. Cheiron
Even an Amazon can learn a lesson from a male.
Blind Date Tips
1. If there are three girls there should be three guys.
2. When you're introduced to your date it's a good idea to actually sit down next to her.
3. Lose the fourth guy since it kinda spoils the mood but do it in a way that won't hurt his feelings because Gods have feelings too.
4. Offer to find the fourth guy a date.
5. Don't leave the girls waiting too long or they just might leave which is a downer in the realm of dating.
Getting A Girl's Attention Tips
1. Say Hello and say it right try it out a few times before you go up to the girl.
2. Tell the girl she has pretty eyes even if she doesn't.
3. Don't turn away since the girl might walk away and a big ugly guy sits in her place.
4. If you do turn away to get support from your friends make sure the girl is still sitting there to avoid complimenting a guy.
5. If you end up complimenting a guy say, "Sorry you're not his type but you do have pretty eyes."
You can't make a girl like you.
Hephaestus making a woman sounds like an incredibly bad idea. Hercules
There are just some things you shouldn't do.
Making A Girl Checklist
1. They are smart.
2. She knows herself.
3. She has a strong will like bronze.
4. Her senses are amazing and she can see and hear things men can't.
5. They have pure hearts like gold.
6. They are geneous and full of love and affection.
Blow magic dust to wake her up which will take a minute but don't leave the cave since things will not turn out the way you planned.
What girl doesn't like butterflies and flowers.
Don't bring your brother and friends on a date since it's such a bad idea especially if the girl in question has her eyes on your brother only.
Sometimes your words can come back to haunt you.
Don't mess with a pissed off God even if most of the time he's a nice guy.
Don't turn the girl you made into one with a heart like Olympian ice even if she didn't turn out the way you want since lives can be put in danger of the serious kind.
Sometimes you need to try another approach.
Say good morning when Fuducias says it first.
Kindred is centaur for clan.
Pay attention in language class.
Knocking stuff down really sends a sign of authority through the students.
Cut out on a Friday since it's the last day of the week and you won't miss anything.
When you have four feet your run twice as fast.
Two guys don't add up to a centaur when it comes to speed.
If you encounter Amazons give the sign for peace. Hands raised above the head.
Things can change a lot.
Leaders don't need to be cruel to be in charge. The best ones can also be merciful.
Say yes to the Amazon invite.
So you're an Amazon what's up with that isn't a good question to ask.
Just because a girl is an Amazon doesn't mean she can't like a guy.
Hold your horses is a bad choice of words when everyone is going nuts over a supposed centaur attack.
Centaurs don't do sneak attacks.
Being associated with a centaur doesn't make you a spy.
Find out who the enemy really is before declaring war.
Sometimes it's best to shut your big mouth.
Guys aren't all the same since there are some good ones out there.
You give up on half the world you prove them right girls can't make it. Hercules
Walking off in a huff can get you into some serious trouble of the spikey variety.
A good grip is needed when you want to avoid being kabobbed.
Going to war over land is pretty dumb.
We should maintain peace.
Don't let your anger cloud your thinking.
Giving advice is well and good but you should also heed it.
Some people are too blind to listen.
Things aren't always as they appear.
I just don't want people I care about to die. Hercules
What's wrong with this picture is that no one's looking at the whole picture. Hercules
Scorch marks indicate a setup.
It is important to find another way if possible.
You know if you want to trick someone you make them so angry they can't think straight and sure they do anything you want.
Work on your stalling tactics since it could really come in handy.
A key just hanging there is too simple so be prepared for a trap that could spell your doom.
Attack the archer not the arrows. Cheiron
I know a con when I see it and this has setup chistled all over it. Iolaus
In the trees the Amazons have the advantage.
A sword or an arrow doesn't solve every problem since it's never that easy.
Some things aren't worth asking about.
Having the heart of an Amazon is high praise indeed especially when you're a guy.
When you don't have much time use is wisely.
You need to work on your timing if you keep coming in when the two are about to kiss.
Somtimes emotions cloud reason and even a teacher forgets lessons he's taught for so long. You reminded me of them and I thank you. Cheiron
Being different isn't always bad it can be your burden or your strength. It's up to you to decide which.
A guy will never pass the physical to become an Amazon.
Sure nice people take turns but they are also not rude.
If a guy is rude tie the rope to something and for the Gods sake don't hold it in your hand unless you want to be dragged by the chariot.
You know if you'd tied the rope to a tree like I told you this wouldn't have happened. Iolaus
Well you just can't do everything you want just 'cause it's fun. Hercules
Fun is an approach to life that everyone should try.
Well we all can't be exciting. Hephaestus
Hephaestus On People
Well some people have a fire inside them. They take everything that life has offer devour like flame burns wood.
Don't forget to keep pumping while you're talking.
Hephaestus On Changing
Well I tried to change once. This fire here comes straight from the heart of the earth. It can melt you inside make you new. Well I asked it to come into my heart and make me a warrior like Hera wanted me to be. Yeah. I just asked it. Yeah didn't like it much couldn't get any work done. There's always work to do.
Sometimes change isn't a good thing.
You know I'm gonna be king someday. Well I'm just waiting for the right kingdom to come along. Iolaus
If you're pretending to be a prince make sure you have a kingdom in mind to make your fib more real.
If he makes it I'll eat my hat. I'm not gonna eat my hat. Iolaus
Some guys like sassy girls.
Fun is good and all but a person needs to sleep sometime.
Oats are a centaur thing.
When doing a drill you're supposed to go at half speed.
Don't touch the guy who's all red and on fire 'cause you'll get burned.
A rope is useless against fire and for the Gods sake let go before you get burned.
Wood catches on fire too as cloth does too.
Chain won't burn but you may end up hanging upside down and nearly set aflame.
Help get your friend down who's hanging.
You can't be what you're not so be happy with who you are.
Everyone needs a day off sometime
There's more to being a warrior than just training you gotta develop your character.
Nothing says building your character like mushroom picking.
Actually using mushroom picking as a excuse to get her out of the way while the surprise party is being planned.
A girl has to stay on top of things.
You can't have a surprise party without some major decoratons. Jason
Training hard deserves a reward.
Input is required by the farm boy as well as the prince.
Now only get the mushrooms that are non poisonous and don't eat any until Cheiron's checked them out. Hercules
How can something that tastes so good come from such a disgusting plant? Lilith
You'll always find the bigger mushrooms in the back.
Giant rocks on the leg hurts like Tartarus.
Tell the truth when someone's hurt.
A cave in with a bunch of rocks falling on ya could lead to your head being in some seriuos pain.
Where's aspirin when you need it?
When decorating for a surprise party you want to go for a different look.
It's good to get in touch with your feminine side.
Sometimes no matter what you do the person dies anyway.
Someone that can sense trouble makes a good lookout.
Not every girl wants to be a home maker since some girls need something different like being a warrior.
Being small can be an advantage like catching your opponent off guard for instance but eventually you need to learn to fight.
Don't forget extra cream pies when planning a party.
Don't forget the Borkabobs because everyone loves those.
Just because someone is a girl doesn't mean she's all that crazy about pink but it was sweet to try.
Even if you don't want to sometimes you have to leave to get help.
Don't trust strange men that pop up in a cave out of nowhere no matter how hot they may be.
Sometimes you just need to walk away while the guys argue.
Leave when things get too hairy like a fight breaks out.
Check to make sure the guy's dead before you start celebrating.
Ares you know it wouldn't have taken a brain surgeon to figure out my brother was behind all this. Hercules
Picking mushrooms can be quite dangerous.
Party preparations can really take their toll so a nice nap is in order.
The answer false doesn't work unless it's a true/false question.
In order to graduate you actually need to crack a book once in a while.
Blood isn't always thicker than water.
If a God's trying to kill you that's a serious sign that he doesn't like you not one bit.
If you can't swim you should really learn so you're not stuck on shore not able to help.
It's a good sign when your question about being dead is answered with a no.
You can't rise if you're anaware that you're the defender.
Cowards! Come on and fight me! You call yourself Gods! You sneak up and attack people without warning! You're not Gods! You're just a bunch of stinking cowards! Iolaus
You know it's said that uh a friend's never really lost if you remain true to the dreams you shared. Cherion
Go on hug him since he's your best friend after all.
Sometimes the fish is inside the boot so make sure to check.
It's a good idea to run away from the flames since no one likes to burn.
If you pull a guy out of the pond and he doesn't remember who is he is he's gotta be called something like Fish for instance.
No man is without a past. Someone will come for him or his memory will return until then I'm sure you'll take good care of him. Cheiron
A belch during a meal is a sign of enjoyment.
There is nothing wrong with making things.
Be careful of machines when you have long hair since it could get bad when it grabs you and swings you around which causes a sacrifice of some hair to escape.
Nothing ruins a meal more than when an ugly scary giant peeks into your window and scares the Tartarus out of you.
Kora's Money Maker
It's made from dried beans from Ethiopia. You grind the beans up then you boil it in water. No no because after it's boiled you throw the ground beans away and you drink the water.
You really think somebody's gonna pay to drink old bean water. Iolaus
Well you add milk first. Also add cinnamon to make it taste better.
Sometimes it's better to give a sample instead of trying to explain.
Well it was easy. Ideas come to me. I look at something and I can see what it could be. Hephaestus
Some guys just want to fight.
It's better to be hit with flour instead of flames.
You can't blame anyone when a rock gets thrown into your flame thrower and it stops working.
No I just sit here in the hot sun handing out headbands for my health.
The heat can make a guy cranky so next time try an umbrella to make yourself a little shade.
A mean guy isn't appealing especially when it was an accident and the other guy did apologize.
Throwing a guy after spinning him is uncalled for.
Pollux is always very grumpy before a competition as well as homicidal.
Accept a free dinner even with the jerk because it's for your friend and hey free meal is always a good thing.
We grew up in a village outside Sparta. Mother tried to keep us away from other people. Well Hercules can appreciate it the rest of you don't know what it's like when you tell someone that Zeus is your father. Castor
Yep kids can be cruel. Hercules
You can't change who your parents are.
All I want to do is make everybody that laughed at us when we were kids eat their words. That's why I became an athlete to rub their noses in it. Pollux
No one likes a bragger and a bully.
Let your friend know about your plans since it sucks to stand up your friends.
Finding brothers is great and all but don't totally blow off your friends.
To slow down the competition say, "Oh is that Zeus?" and point they fall for it every time.
It's pathetic to cheat when you have a bit of a lead and then you throw a rock at the guy when he keeps coming.
Being a son of Zeus doesn't make you exempt from rules or better than mere mortals.
You should care about honor.
I want you to float like a butterfly and sting like a wasp. Iolaus
Just keep moving.
Watch your footwork. Keep your fists up. Iolaus
You can win by playing the rules.
It's not who your father is it's who you are. Hercules
It's not your fault if your twin brother is a jerk.
A ruler must appear to know everything even when you don't.
No playing ball in the throne room.
Never quibble with the Sibyl.
Even a prince needs to go out and play since all work and no play makes him a dull prince indee.
Falling on the ball flattens it.
I wish I was a prince huh nobody ever gives me rocks. Hercules
A rock isn't always a rock since it could turn out to be a basilik.
Don't stick your arm in anyone's mouth.
Having green goo spit on you tends to make one lose one's appetite.
Don't spit green goo at the people that are on your side.
It's vital to remember that you can't swim so you don't end up needing saving.
Some people can only be seen when they want to be. Hercules
A basilik's venom can turn a man to ashes although it takes time to take effect.
Some people just don't know how to show their appreciation.
If you see green goo have water handy.
According to the legend there's basiliks over this rise. Hercules
As much as it pains you sometimes you have to let someone you care about especially when he's a little basilik that will one day be very big not to mention dangerous.
Bacchus the God of good times with Bacchus on your side you can kiss your cares goodbye. Orpheus
The gilded spring is said to come straight from the center of the earth. Eurydice
Eurydice On Bacchus
Bacchus believes that pleasure and freedom are what all creatures should live for. No rules. No fears. No regrets. Your academy is all training and studying. No fun. Be one of us Hercules forever.
Save the chit chat for later unless you want to keep getting knocked onto your ass.
Yeah well keep your guard up or that's not all that'll be broken ok. Lilith
Bacchus isn't a cyclops that works for Ares.
Pinning the tail on the centaur isn't a good party.
Good Party According To Hercules
1. Good food.
2. Lots of interesting people.
3. They're girls. (Don't forget to mention guys for your friend who's a girl.)
You miss out on stuff when you go to King School.
It never fails. Chicks always dig guys with horns. Iolaus
Sometimes a dance is more than a dance.
Fangs is a sign of something being wrong.
Leave a party when it gets a little too strange especially if the host has horns.
Cheiron On Bacchus
Count yourselves lucky you escaped his cult. The Bacchae live for the whims of their master. Legend has it that in moments of extreme excitement the Bacchae transform into wolves.
Next time I see that two faced Orpheus he'll be playing that lyre with his toes. Hercules
Getting bit by a bacchae makes you woozy and come sundown you'll belong to Bacchus.
Just because a girl's a baccahe doesn't mean she's not a good person.
Don't let Hercules pick the party unless you want things to be either way dull or way too strange.
Gods are never out of the picture. Hercules
Sometimes they really are friends of the band.
Use your friend of the band status to get the chicks.
With Bacchaus's golden lyre you can touch the souls of the audience.
When your friend won't go with you carry him out so he doesn't get bacchaed.
A mirror isn't always what it appears to be.
Never trust a red skinned horned God.
Ball's in your court Horn Boy. Deal with it. Orpheus
Always keep your sword nice and sharp.
The undead can only be defeated by their own. Such weapons are not easy to come by. Cheiron
A dryad won't give you a bone even if you ask.
Honesty is important in any relationship.
Ladies and Gentlemen I don't mean to alarm you but there are bacchae in the building. Hercules
While a God may be eternal his hold on people isn't.
Sometimes the girl goes with the lying creep.
Make sure that the case actually has something inside.
Sometimes following your destiny involves great sacrifice.
A gun can be a real drag when he loses the girl.
Everyone can be wrong sometime.
It's not a good sign when bacchae are afoot.
You are lower than something really low. Hercules
Work on your comebacks.
If Bacchaus doesn't get back his lyre he will get very cranky.
In general you just can't deal with a God.
Daring rescues don't always go as planned.
Go stuff a grape leaf would ya. Iolaus
Today we unite the eternal with the temporal. Eurydice and I shall be joined as one. Together we shall reign over the Bacchae Kingdom.
Smells like trouble. Iolaus
Save the hugging until you're out of the burning cave.
Don't give up on yourself. Eurydice
No the pain of this loss is more than anything I can inflict but when your sorrow fades I'll find you and take my revenge. Bacchaus
Family who needs them when most of them are out to kill you.
A guy that just lost a girl he loved doesn't make him feel very festive even if Iolaus is in the dunking booth.
When Iolaus is in the dunking booth stock up on the tickets.
A good friend will go with you to the other side.
A mortal shouldn't have to pay for a God's whims.
Charon's got a schedule to keep and he can get grumpy especially if you're still alive and you don't pronounce his name right.
Charon's not a showgirl.
Executive Officer in charge of transport a chronic division first class and I don't help the living. Charon
Name dropping can get you places.
No one wants to have their arm ripped off and beaten with the soggy end.
Some things you just don't want to know.
Offering to row is well and good but offering a friend up to rub Charon's bunions is quite another.
All bacchae are condemned to Tartarus.
The Fates can be cruel. Hercules
Hades Beef
You're telling me my brother Zeus gets to be King of all Gods. My other brohter Poseidon gets to be God of the Sea. And I get to be God of the Other Side. Hanging around for eternity with nothing but dead people. Doesn't seem fair.
Butter up Hades so you get to go to the Elysian Fields to pay your dad a visit.
A soul can't leave its place of final judgement. Hades
Sometimes people do sacricie themselves for someone else.
Such courage is rare. Perhaps people can change and become worthy of the Elysian Fields. Hades
Even a God can learn something from a mortal.
Goodbyes are tough but take comfort in the fact that the girl is now in the Elysian Fields.
Little basilisks grow into very big ones.
Sarcasm look into it.
If you can't buy it than plan a breakout.
If you can't find the keys use a sword to break the lock.
Instead of green goo the full grown basilisk breathes fire.
No one likes a lynch mob.
Breathing fire makes one quite thirsty.
What the fruit was that? Hercules
Missing someone even a basilisk isn't silly at all.
It's really low to steal a guy's boots.
Fight the bandits since they can't be reasoned with.
Five on one is a little excessive.
Forest trails aren't always as safe as they appear to be.
Even a man on a mission needs to eat.
So he's standing on Mount Olympus looking down on him and Zeus says to Ares, "You may be the God of War but you're still going bald." Lucis
Some guys are just talk.
Twins are really two parts of one person the Fates had joined them like the two halves of the moon.
The truth has to come out eventually.
When you're grieving it's understandable to be upset especially when the father is Zeus.
Meeting another brother isn't always a good thing.
Keep the psycho talking while you break through your bonds.
A psycho has no say in who deserves to live and who deserves to die.
Practice your spinning so you don't get dizzy.
It's not always the wind since it could be Nemesis with her bow and arrow.
The punishment does not always fit the crime like killing a man for stealing a little oil from Hera's temple for his sick child.
Watch out for Stregna's very long hair.
You can't hit what you can't see. Nemesis
Keep a firm grip on your sword especially if you end up hanging from a tree.
Always ask for permission to use a person's sword.
Cut Stregna's hair so she goes away but remember that it will grow back.
When the death machine is a babe you want to see her again.
Never challenge satyrs to a race unless you feel like running around naked when you lose.
It's good to keep your options open.
King Etiquette
1.It's of utmost importance to remember that an ambassador from Sidonia must always be greeted with the left hand and must never be seated facing south.
2.Respecting others customs even pirates is statesmanship the formalities are what's important.
3.Great cities have gone to war for less.
4. Pay attention because protocol makes the world go round.
Ya fell for the dummy dummy. Hercules
Becoming king is very stressful which can lead to a case of the grumpies.
No thanks creepy lady. Jason
Some guys just won't take no for an answer.
When a beautiful girl asks you to dance you can't refuse.
Planting Tips
1. If you plant too early you miss the rain, nothing grows and you go hungry.
2. If you plant too late you miss the market, nothing sells and you go poor.
A journey can be quite enlightening.
You should fight for the right to live in peace.
Sweet talk the creepy lade along with a dinar to find out where your friend went.
Run away fast from the creepy lady once you know what you need to know.
Sometimes you have to take a stand and for what you believe in. Jason
Party at my palace. Jason
Alcemene's cooking is like the Elysian Fields on earth especially her sweet apple pie and her fig tars and the lamb with the red sauce.
Talking about food makes ya hungry.
Smelling smoke can sometimes be a sign of a fire and not someone cooking.
When you need to make a dinner guest that is driving you nuts leave use the excuse of inspecting the troops if you're the prince and you don't want to be rude.
Some guys should really use a bib when they eat.
Always use the fork furtherest from the plate first.
Even a Prince can miss his friends.
I'm gonna break you in half followed by running away doesn't exactly strike terror.
Never trust a hooded man that says golly.
Be weary if the big guy runs away.
Saying, "Knot a problem," is a serious sign of boredom.
To make the little girl who lost her dog feel better give her a magic coin but realize that she'll take off with it.
Always look for clues.
Etiquette lessons are a tedious but necessary thing when you're going to be King one day.
Let the kid have your dinar.
No goat stew for psycho boy until he does what his equally psychotic mother wants unless of course she likes the new plan.
Sometimes you're a little slow on the uptake.
Sometimes you make yourself look bad all by yourself.
Ceres the Goddess of Bounty can be a bear.
Some people just can't remember their dreams
Sometimes a nightmare is more than a nightmare.
The Gods cause this presence to enter our world from your dream. It seems like the work of Morpheus. Cheiron
Physical presence in the dream world is tricky stuff people get hurt you know. Morpheus
Embrace your greatest fear. Cheiron
To destroy it would be to destroy part of yourself. Cheiron
The vortex is the only way back out.
Now concentrate on the still surface of the water. Come on and breathe as I tell you. Slowly, slowly. Cheiron
Screaming is a natural reaction when your hands have bugs crawling all over them.
Remember that it's only a dream
You're forgetting something Ares a little something called inner strength. Hercules
None of us are without our dark sides. Cheiron
Sometimes you just want to play bag ball instead of going back to sleep especially after being sucked into a nightmare.
Being called a shark isn't always meant as a compliment.
All work and no play keeps the restaurant open.
When you're going off to battle just be ready. Jason
So are you two going to buy something or are you just wasting space? Kora
If you need both hands free just use a guy's head as a stand.
Chloe's Adventures
So I walked right up to the bouncer and I'm like is this a private party? And he's all eya it is go away. So I go on come on please. And he's like no so then I go how's about we arm wrestle I win I get in. King Midas gave this to me himself solid gold. Yeah I danced with him twice. He's a cute guy if you overlook the donkey ears.
It's ok for the girl to muss up the hair but not a guy even if he's a friend.
Running A Restaurant Tips
1. There's more to it than joking around with customers.
2. You don't let six people leave without giving them a check.
3. You need to show a little more responsibility.
4. You need to provide good service.
5. Some things aren't worth the effort.
6. Don't insult the customers.
7. Don't run away the customers.
8. Math skills are a must.
Tap dance in Hera's Temple but only if you're dared.
It's not easy when your sister breezes into town and all they talk about is her it's like you don't even exist.
Hey if the guy is chopping let him do his little dance.
If they keep saying loosen up just go for it.
Go for a new looks to get some attention of your own.
Some just don't have the talent for burping.
Why don't you carve a sculpture it'll last longer? Kora
Only the owner of the palce gets to change the menu.
Tight leather pants should be against the law. Kora
Don't promise food you don't have.
Swordfish doesn't taste like chicken.
Only one thing tastes like chicken and that's chicken.
No playing with the dishes.
If you kidpnap someone you should at least tell her why.
There's a difference between being dishonest and just being bad at math. Chloe
If hitting the big guy in the guy has no affect step on his foot since that always works.
Artemis's Bow
The golden bow of Artemis Goddess of the Hunt centuries ago passed down from Olympus it has remained in our temple protected from those who would misue it. But now the Oracle has commanded this contest with the golden bow as the prize for the finest archer in the land.
Some people just suck when it comes to moving targets in archery.
Call the cheater a cheat.
If no one else can see it it's a God thing.
Calling On The Huntress
Artemis I call on you for the spirit of the Huntress.
If a man touches a follower of Artemis he must pay with his life.
Just warn the guy instead of going with the threats especially if he had no idea.
When a bird flaps his wings in fear that means someone is in the mouth of the cave.
Follower Of Artemis Pros And Cons
1. You can call upon the power of the Huntress which can come in handy when you're in a bind.
2. You get a bit homicidal about being touched by a man.
3. You have heightened senses.
4. You are able to turn invisible which can really come in handy when you don't want to be seen.
5. Your life isn't your own.
6. You can't really have any friends.
7. You can't fall in love.
Great Artemis I call upon you to receive this gift your sacred bow returned to you so that my life can return to me as promised. Kora
I offer a warning to leave my service is not a casual request. Are you certain that you no longer need my help? Then let it be so. Artemis
Artemis I was wrong I need you. Please take me back. Give me the power of the Hutnress. I serve the will of Artemis. Kora
The Feast of Persephone is my favorite holiday because I get to have big heapin' delicious stacks of fish and feta popovers! Jason
Everyone doesn't eat fish and feta popovers.
When yo make fish and feta popovers your hand stink for a week.
Coming home can give you an unpleasant surprise.
The bigger the crowd the better the feast. Alcmene
Instead of getting your bedroom you might get stuck in the barn.
Be careful who you ask about the traditions of the feast stuff.
Jason On Traditions
It's traditional to leave a few peas on your plate in the shape of a star for Persephone to take back to Hades with her in the Fall. And you have to eat at least one stalk of asparagus. It's an insult if you don't.
Sports come first then helping out in the kitchen.
You don't tackle the guy that no longer has the ball.
It's ok to be homey as well as a warrior.
If he can't take it he shouldn't play. Hercules
Hold at an angle and cut away from you. Lilith
Or you can pretend it's hanging in front of a shop and you have to cut it down before the owner sees you. Lilith
It's funny when you hunt for boar and totally miss it.
Sometimes the ladies bring home the bacon.
Don't be a big dope just be happy if mom is happy.
If a person's name is Lilith it's a pretty safe bet that she's a girl.
Never be afraid to say you're sorry.
If you're excused early there's usually a catch like having that extra time to study.
When the locks are too easily opened be weary.
There's always a way so don't panic.
It's good to snoop especially when you find out that your friend may get sent back to jail if he doesn't pass.
Jail's not funny. Hercules
You have to have a system like alphabetical order.
Most people don't make up a little song for everything.
Stop my brain is gonna explode. Iolaus
Each person learns in his or her own way.
Be sincere when you tell your friend he's not stupid.
Some want to turn everything into a wage.
If nothing was bet nothing is owed.
Don't be late or Fiddle Face will take off points. Jason
Even Fiddle Face can do something nice for a student so he learns a valuable lesson.
Spartans have little patience and some don't think much of their intellect.
Let go of the reins when you fall off the chariot and the horses are dragging you.
Aim for the creek when you're in an out of control chariot.
Some guys aren't cut out for farming or sword play.
Don't be mean to the guy especially if he's trying and he's family.
A lookalike can come in handy when a war can be stopped by him.
Girls love heroes. Iolaus
Ares Training
1. Teach him to fight.
2. Be patient with him.
3. Work on grufness.
4. Dress the part and get the mustache.
5. Work on your facial expressions.
6. Work on the voice.
We come in peace will get the attention of Strife and Discord.
You're naughty. Timor
An uncle tends to faint when he realizes that Ares looks exactly like his nephew and he was yelling at the wrong guy.
Timor Stands Up To Ares
No you leave him alone. You're the joke Ares call yourself a God. Well you're not the kid of God I'd ever want to worship. You make people suffer. You demand respon but you do nothing to earn it. You're nothing but a bully. You can't do anything worse to me than I've already done to myself.
It's never too late to talk peace and sign a treaty.
I'm Ares God of War and you're unfit to lick the soles of my sandles. Timor
It is I who decides who has a war where and with whom. This pathetic skirmish of yours of totally unathorized. Timor
Buturus is the Exterminator of Thebes.
Pulling pranks on graduating cadets requires style, planning, execution. Hercules
In other words you need to be sneaky.
Well it's gonna take more than a pig's bladder if you want to outwit the legendary Hercules on Prank Days. Lilith
It should matter if the cook knows how to cook.
Mud Man takes a bath before eating.
Sometimes the food actually resembles palace food.
The old dribble glass can save you from drinking acid.
It hurts when someone tugs you around by your ear.
He's a good cook he sure is accident prone and he dresses like an oddball. Jason
Sometimes the dummy in the bed isn't a dummy at all but the actual person.
There are some things you don't lie about like an assassination attempt.
Set a trap for the assassin and set a swarm of wasps after him.
Rig the place so he can't get away.
Use goose fat to make the rope slippery.
Rig a fake window to fool the dummy.
Never underestimate the cadets.
Tie a rope to the bed and off you go with the horse pulling the guy away but you have to catch up with him or your friend might end up in Thebes.
A princess isn't a package she's a person.
I don't understand what kind of person thinks another person makes a good stocking stuffer? Lilith
If you don't want to get married pretend to be married already.
Princess Tips
1. A tiara is for wearing on the head.
2. Don't spit on your hand and wipe it off after it's been kissed by your "husband".
3. Slow down you're not stoking a campfire.
4. If someone walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder don't toss him on his butt.
5. Get some help from an actual princess.
6. Add a wig since a Princess tends to have long hair.
Try speaking with actual words instead of your blade.
Some wars are fought on the battlefield some in throne rooms you'll learn. King Cadmus
A daughter is a lot better than a goat.
The couplets they gotta go. Hercules
Jug the annoying guy who doesn't speak like a regular person.
He's messy but he's funny well that's part of his charm. Jason
A loving wife should look after her husband. King Cadmus
Toss an apple to shut the fool up.
Clam up pestle head! Lilith
Throw a plate to knock the sword out of a boob's hand.
There is nothing wrong with a she warrior.
You shouldn't force someone to marry someone they don't love.
You must never deny a king.
Kings don't call other kings sir.
Oh sweet mystery thy name is it Lilih? Hercules
Don't forget the goofy hat when you start spouting couplets.
When you're royalty you can't have enough blenders.
All you see is not all there is. Cheiron
I can work with invisible. Iolaus
Some guys need to be taught some manners.
Hunting should be about feeding your family not showing off. Kora
Hunting for sport is wrong. Kora
Some girls run really fast especially if she's a hind.
Ok watch where you're shooting your arrows. Hercules
You might want to work on your deep scary voice thing. Hercules
The Goddess of the Hunt has certain places and certain creatures that are special to her. Kora
Well I'm glad you're not me so I wouldn't have to wear that hat. Iolaus
Some guys are really testy when you make fun of his hat.
Golden hinds are the gentlest and rarest of creatures they're almost extinct and they're Artemis's favorites. Kora
Golden hinds don't like being touched by humans.
No life should be taken casually. Kora
Artemis never misses with her bow.
Men aren't allowed in the Temple of Artemis.
To keep the hind safe make it look like you killed her by using flint to make a fire along with a horn and a tuft of fur as proof to show.
When you hear a loud noise it's usually a good idea to run.
Puce does not go with gold it never has and it never will. Leah
Some people have better taste than others.
People in general know how to wave so no practice is necessary.
A battle avoided is a battle won. Cheiron
When the prince makes up his mind about something don't say a word.
Sometimes there's no talking only smacking around.
Shooting a giant in the arm only pisses her off.
Lying is something everyone does at one time or another.
The stew in the palace's jail is actually pretty good.
Don't lock up the prince's friends even if they had a fight since that's what friends do sometimes.
Just because someone appears to be a monster doesn't make her one.
There is nothing more cowardly than mocking the person locked up unable to do anything.
Some humans can actually be trusted.
The Captain of the guard should obey the prince after all he's about to become King.
Friends fight but apologizing and a hug squares things away so take a moment.
Iolaus With Decorating Advice
1. A little imagination can go a long way.
2. Try adding a few frescoes on the walls.
3. Maybe add an urn.
4. Also a couple potted plants would really liven the place up.
Don't destroy the guy that amuses you.
Some people aren't much for talking.
Sometimes a person needs to be reminded of who they really are.
When the prince tells you to lower your weapons do it.
Galinthia On Hercules
Aclmene. Hercules you fought your poor mother like a warrior. Your cries shook the walls.
An innocent child can't be blamed for the pettiness of Hera.
Place the blame where it belongs.
Sometimes talking solves the problem.
Sometimes a fresh start is for the best.
Lose the crappy color scheme one you're crowned after all you're King now.
Ban the color puce from all of Corinth simply because it's an unflattering color.
The Gods Lesson
Hades: God of the Underworld
Gaia: Mother of the Earth
Neptune: God of the Sea
Nike: Winged Goddess of Victory
Zeus: King of the Gods
Great artists learn to see without using their eyes. Cheiron
It's not always so easy to let things go.
You want a little cheese with that whine sister put a cork in it. Sister
Curse Iolaus and Jason
Seek with the eys and ears of Artemis Goddess of the Hunt
The plants and animals of the forest
will find the one who would become King and make him a pig
Be it weed or flower whether plant he destroys will do the same to him
All things that grow vines and branches lay him low
Find the one who would be king and make him a pig
Stop laughing and start helping. Jason
Never laugh at your friend if he suddenly becomes a boar.
Don't eat the giant eye.
I swallowed an eye that's gross.
Sometimes making you sick is the whole idea of spinning you around.
Keep away from plants. Hercules
A giant eye is really gross especially if you eat it.
Undoing The Curse
And now we ask Artemis to return these boys to their rightful form
Return the eye and apologize for taking off with it.
Beware of what you seek to see. You never know what may happen when you look into the future. Sister
Strife any friend of your's is a friend I don't want to meet. Hercules
Guess you have to be pretty desperate if you're hanging out with Strife. Hercules
A bad hair day isn't all that bad since there are worse things.
Did you uh mean to wear that?
The clothes make the man so think about what you want to say when you get dressed in the morning.
I'm afraid the existence of Gods is a scientific impossibility. Pythagoras
Just because you don't believe something doesn't mean they don't exist.
Some people just don't believe in Gods.
It's a pain in the ass when a God won't reveal himself.
Magic can be another word for chemistry.
Be careful when someone tells you to bend over.
Don't throw a cup of water in Strife's face.
Tricks with furniture don't make you God. Pythagorus
Throw some logic at the God regarding losing the bet.
Some people are so annoying that you just want to smack some sense into them.
You can't force people to believe in something they just don't.
A great philosopher once said, "Gotcha!"
Shut the door to stop the blowing wind.
That wind really packs a wallop.
Fight the wind with fire.
The fire should draw the north wind up through the hole in the roof. Pythagorus
Admitting that you could be wrong is the first step towards wisdom.
If you make a mess you clean it up. Cheiron
Downsides To Being A Professional Hunter
1. Going hunting is one thing and then being a hunter well that's something else.
2. They don't see their families for weeks at a time.
3. They live like beasts.
4. They have to grub for food.
5. Not bathing.
6. They eventually become the thing they hunt.
7. There's also the smell.
There could be a very smelly reason for why everyone offers him their seat.
Uncle Flatus Reminising About Iolie
I guess your uh laundry shooting days are over. We were, we were coming back from a hunt and little Iolie here sees his father's long underwear hanging out to dry. He thinks it's a demon from Tartarus. Zing he shoots it clean through.
You know Iolaus he attacts trouble like a dog attracts fleas.
Some guys attract fleas and trouble.
Uncle Flatus's Hunting Tips
1. Be quiet.
2. Use your nose.
3. Know how to read the spore like knowing the warmth of it means the deer is close.
3. Know the way to track a deer is to think like a deer.
4. He'll be sniffing out water soon so that's where we'll catch him.
5. Know where to set a snare and don't forget the vines.
Follow at a distance to try to keep your friend from getting into trouble.
You don't want to piss of Artemis.
It's an adjustment to all of a sudden be on two legs instead of four.
A deer's mouth tastes like the bottom of a bird's nest.
Remember that deer can't talk.
Signs That You're Friend Is A Deer
1. He eats grass.
2. He sees you and runs away in a strange way.
3. He has a strange look in his eyes.
4. He uses his legs in a not very usual way.
If your friend is a deer catch him like one.
How can somebody that's so short be so heavy huh? Hercules
Deer look nervous all the time because people are always trying to kill them.
Walking in someone's hooves gives you a whole new perspective on things.
He did something wrong but he doesn't deserve to die. Jason
Having a brave and caring heart is sorely needed in the world.
It's called the Forbidden Zone no one knows what lies beneath the sand. But whatever it is no man has seen it and lived to tell the tale. Hercules
If you see two guys having a chariot race don't be a major ass by throwing the guy out and stealing the chariot.
No one likes a cocky arrogant son of a bacchae.
It's dumb to try to prove a point by nearly killing someone in the process.
Everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves even if he doesn't give a good first impression.
Sometimes the guys is as big a blowhard as he seems.
Theseus Bragging
Now this one I got in Carthage they weren't so tough. Long siege though ate nothing for days but dried camel. Now I'll tell you what was rough chasing those gorgons out of Mycenia whooee. Talk about a bug hunt.
Some guys just need a serious ass kicking to cut him down to size.
Don't tell Soldier Boy that you're still sore because he eats his wounded.
Theseus With More Bragging
So I says listen pal you better back off before I tie your tail in a knot and use your horns to make dice. Ah he is just a cow with muscles.
Some guys talk because they love to hear themselves drone on and on.
Some girls go weak in the knees at cheesey lines.
Theseus Being An Ass
Come on kid pick up the last time I saw someone parry like that they eneded up as a Macedonian shiskabob. Don't ever let your guard down.
There are reasons sometimes very good ones for rules.
Don't forget to grab some sand for your friend's hand that's about to chariot race.
Run when there's a big hungry ogre beneath your feet so save the beautiful moment until later.
Come clean about your lies.
Exposing your lies could have encouraged you to take them elsewhere. Allowing you to choose the truth may be the first step to a fresh start.
Stick a sandal in it Ares. Hercules
Some guys just sing in the shower because they won't get naked in front of a crowd.
The God of War has the talent of starting wars and ruining people's lives.
You can't kick the God of War out even if you own the place.
A crystal paper weight that glows in the hands of a half God implies badness and totally explains why Ares is there.
Sometimes you have to sing for the greater good.
Iolaus, Hercules & The Cadets
Does anybody know what it's like to be a hero?
Some shortcuts are best avoided.
Philosophy scrolls are pretty heavy.
Sand in the pants might be the least of your problems.
All travelers should steer clear of the Sand Dunes. Theseus
Don't hog the water skin when you're walking in a hot and sandy place that goes on and on.
Never come between a mother and her young.
Marco's Staff
It is not a stick but a symbol of honor the people in his village are all fishermen. When you're born they plan a tree for you. When you're old enough they cut the tree down and carve a fishing pole from the wood if they make a walking staff it's a big honor. It means they want you to go out in the world and do something more. Something they can never do as simple fishermen.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do even if you're a half God.
When your friend throws a rock that's your cue to run like Tartarus so the sand shark doesn't eat you.
When you're literally running for your life for the Gods sakes don't look bac.
Use rocks to make your way out of the dunes and keep moving.
Impaling the sand shark with a piece of wood does the trick.
To improve your skills even more practice sword play on ladders but be careful since it hurts when you get knocked down.
He who admits his mistakes becomes a wise man (or woman). Cheiron
Get actors to come to Parent's Day but make sure they know your name and what you look like.
Someone that gets sick can get better especially if it's just a cold.
Watch where you're throwing a rock.
Looking sporty doesn't make you less pretty.
Send mom to the kitchen to give tips to the cook to get her out of the way.
Steer away from war talk if you're not up on your facts.
Your plan can get seriously messed up when your best friend's mom fills in your mom which puts a crimp in your plan.
Be creative in the telling of why you get in trouble.
Next time you'll have to pay five dinars to get the fake parents to help you out.
Distract the parents by asking for help with a move and if that doesn't work throw something and then blame it on spies.
The girl has to play the supporting role since centaurs are male.
It seems that perception is in the eye of the perceiver. Cheiron Speak
If the man explodes just fess up although you may delay it.
You may as well continue to hel your friend out of a serious jam especially when his folks get arrested.
A father should make an effort to be around more and not be afraid to say the L word.
Even if you don't want her to stay it's good to realize that you should be happy about your sister finding a place where she belongs and is happy.
No more genius plans for a little while anyway.
Technically the sun's not up yet so the reports aren't late.
A great warrior raises from the ashes of defeat. Beware a lyre's enchantment. In times of crisis a son of Zeus forges on. Cheiron
If someone's in the way jump over him.
Remove the gag so the guy can answer your question.
People give ya stuff when you save a person's life.
Some people have the special talent of being able to fall asleep anywhere especially when work is involved.
Herbs are useful to make medicines and used in cooking while weeds are just annoying.
Know the difference between a weed and a herb.
A warrior should know the herbs that heal as well as he knows his weapons. Cheiron
Something sounding like thunder without a cloud in the sky is a very bad sign.
Stealth is key when you need to find out who's attacking you.
What's up with the bang bang? Hercules
Run to avoid getting hit by the bang bangs.
Watch for traps 'cause no one likes to get caught up in a net.
A God can breed major paranoia and destruction.
The thunderarrows are not only pretty lights in the sky they can also be used as serious weaons.
Being dazzled can impair your judgement.
No fireworks in the cave.
Breaking the bars to get out is a good idea along with running so you don't get blown up.
A amulet is not only a fashion accesory but a way to communicate.
Hey I've been working on this new idea it's called indoor plumbing it's great. Hephaestus
You can totally be forgiveen if you were under the influence of Ares.
Well I like Iolaus better in a cage. Cyanne
Don't challenge satyrs to a sausage eating contest.
Nobody invited you to this party so back off. Mila
Don't help unless you're invited.
When you run out of stick try kicking.
Panthon is one of the best fighters at the academy.
He leaves his left open after he swings. One little shot from below and he's down. Mila
Hey no offense but I'm not here to have fun. I'm here to fight. Mila
The Tempus Locus maneuver can even take an Amazon off guard.
Oh man I hate it when I can't see them. Iolaus
The Gods play tricks with humans that's what they do. Hercules
A big pack on the back makes you feel like a donkey.
It doesn't hurt to take a rest after all you've been carrying around a big pack.
It's not nice to fry your half brother.
Laugh at all Apollo says or he gets really cranky.
Some guys don't like to be called sir and as a bonus girls in general don't like being called mam.
Don't forget the straw and make sure you have the hummis ready.
Yeah this is the life nothing to do but bask in my own glory and worshipping nymphs orbiting around. Apollo
Where in Tartarus is my table? Apollo
You really get burned if you piss off Apollo and it doesn't take much after all he can control the sun.
God or no God you should treat people that way.
Sometimes people are too busy being scared of ya to actually like ya.
Apollo can really turn up the heat and not in a good way.
I'm starting to bake like a chicken. Iolaus
Being buried in the sand when Apollo turns up the sun causes you to feel like you're dinner cooking.
Make sure you apologize before everyone is cooked.
You can't tell me I'm not adored you pathetic little half God. Apollo
We're gonna go back to our pathetic mortal friends at our loser academy all right. Hercules
Some people hit the jackpot when it comes to families.
Oh did you forget I rise in the east. And set in the west. Apollo
You can't blame a guy for his family.
Archers are useless against Gods unless the arrows are dipped in hind's blood.
Well if you can't stand the heat you better get out of the academy. Apollo
That's the problem mortals are so fickle. Apollo
It's cheating to do your burning thing in a fight.
Even Gods can be jealous of a little half brother with friends even if he is a mortal.
Time to put you out of my misery. Apollo
If you want friends stop being a jerk and stop thinking of yourself all the time.
Keep telling yourself that you're a God so you have someone to talk to.
To be really impressive do ten more lifts.
When you're a spotter you never leave the person you're spotting for.
When the Amazon Queen goes all glowy she can send you a message using memories but be careful it packs quite a punch.
Things can always get worse.
The taller one goes high while the shorter one goes low.
The Godly aura is deadly to mortals.
Sometimes risking your life is the only way.
Pretend to have an antidote to reveal the traitor.
A warrior uses every means at his disposal. Chieron
Don't rub anything on without consulting Cheiron first especially if Iolaus made it since it may just cause a case of the itchy's.
When it's been a tough week you need to get out and enjoy yourself like going camping.
You gotta know how to haggle.
Well if Iolaus is cutting me some slack I must need a break. Hercules
Ten dinars is pretty expensive to find out where to fish so be weary.
There's always a catch.
Story Time
Ok so now they were sure the monster was asleep. Then the boy reached his hand inside the monster's cage a little further, a little further and just a touch more until he could just reach the golden key pinned underneath the monster's bloody jaw. He pulls his hand away a little more and then.... Thesuius
It's rude for a monster to come in and mess up a story just when it's getting to the good park.
Hello peacock does not taste like chicken it tastes like peacock.
If fire's out then run like Tartarus.
Watch your step.
Use your fishing skills to get your friend back.
Don't mock the monster.
Please stand clear of the door. Hercules
If you are out of weapons make some serious new ones.
When a guys says that he doesn't know it means that he doesn't know.
We either fight it now or we wait till morning and fight it then. Thesius
Check for a back door but tread lightly.
Deep breaths. Time out. Hercules
Mention the man easting monster free of charge after all you are getting ten dinars to share the location where the fishing is.
Hera's valley is rich with game and a monster that eats people.
Peacocks are sacred to Hera.
Saying sorry doesn't work when youre stepmom hates you.
No it's weird we just kinda left camp really fast. Hercules
Fish Recipe: Cover with cider, cover with cornmeal, and add special sauce
One gets angry when one is led into a trap with a man eating monster.
Because we don't get to choose who we save. Hercules
Monster bait it's not exactly what every kid dreams of being when he grows up is it? Iolaus
Quails don't talk so be very quiet.
Hey watch the plumes. Iolaus
Beware of monster breath it's quite stink!
He who knows how to make bird calls always gets to be the bird.
A thank you should be said after you save a person's life.
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