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In an age of light and darkness
Zeus King of the Gods ruled the universe
He had a son Young Hercules
Half god half man young Hercules
longs to find his place in the world
The father he's never known
and what it means to be a hero
Before the man became legend
Before the legend became myth the greatest adventure of all.
The Teacher
Cheiron
Head of the academy
Full of wisdowm
Although it can sound like riddles
A centaur warrior
That really knows his stuff
A most excellent teacher
The Cadets
Hercules
Cadet at the academy
Learning to be a warrior
Never met his father
Just happens to be King of the Gods
Wanting to prove himself
Meeting some family members
Most wanting him dead
One brother Hephaestus his friend
Making his way through life
That guy that's a bit different
But a truer friend you'll never meet
Iolaus
Blonde curly hair
With pretty baby blues
Once a thief
Now he's changed his ways
Loyal to his friends
Even at the risk of his life
Doesn't know how to swim
Although he should really learn
Jason
The Prince of Corinth
About to become King
Learning how to lead
Also how to fight
Likes to play too
Bored by his duties
Etiquette lessons always a yawn
Lilith
A girl that wants to be a warrior
Came to the academy to learn
Had a brief stay with the Amazons
But came back to learn more
After a bit of a rough patch
Soon found to be an equal match
Accepted as one of the guys
Wows them when she dresses girlie
Fresh Start
Theseus
Comes in with a bad start
Nearly killing a cadet
Becomes a drill leader
A real piece of word
Who is so full of himself
Bragging about his exploits
All talk and no action
A big fat liar is he
Froze at the sign of trouble
Not such a hotshot after all
Finally came clean and began anew
Became a cadet to learn
The Innkeeper
Kora
The one that owns the inn
More to her than meets the eye
Has a secret identiy
A follower of Artemis
Quite a beauty
Her life's not really her own
Payment for Artemis saving her
Has a sister named Chloe quite a hoot
Expect the unexpected. Iolaus
No dinars. No dinner. Kora
Not having dinars is a sign that you're broke.
Why don't you keep your hooves to yourself? Hercules
No shirt. No feet. No service. Kora
When you own the place you have the right to refuse service.
A tree that grows on the stoniest ground has the strongest roots. Cheiron
Don't forget to watch your footwork.
Even Zeus has to keep his word. Strife
Don't be so quick to run off to steal a chalice just because Zeus was mentioned.
Think before you leap.
If a trap looks too easy don't do something stupid.
Save the lecture until after the danger's over.
Don't pour the liquid out of the chalice until the danger's over.
If flames pop out then run like Tartarus.
Anything that has to do with Hera is never a good thing.
A blast was had when beans were served for a week in the dining hall.
Be careful when sneaking in.
Rope the phoenix so you can get your friend loose.
Be ready to catch your friend falling out of the sky.
Duh of course a firm girp is needed when dangling from a flying phoenix.
Ask for help before you run out of rope.
Don't forget to look before you leap.
Let a guy catch his breath first after you save his butt because a thank you is sure to follow.
Kill the phoneix to get the chalice back.
Use a cart of hay to break your pal's fall.
Needles can help with the stifness of faling from the sky and through the roof.
The warrior that depends on luck is a fool. Cheiron
Selfish desires often mask themselves as good intentions. Cheiron
Balance is the key. Don't think about where you're stepping just feel the pull. Cheiron
You should keep your friends in the loop.
Warriors must learn to fight back to back. Depend on your comrade as he depends on you. Cheiron
Alone Ioalaus with you? Ok sneak into the academy barn crawl into the hayloft, close your eyes and dream on. Kora
Not all girls are impressed by money and a future king.
Some have to fight for everything while others have everything handed to them.
No, no I bet attending those royal banquets is really tough. Iolaus
Being royalty isn't all fun and games.
Try dishes that don't break so Butter Fingers doesn't keep breaking them.
Be careful who you borrow money from.
We have nothing to hide the truth is our greatest weapon. Cheiron
Be patient let justice run its course. Cheiron
You fight worse than you dress you wanna be a real God you're gonna have to do better than that. Hercules
Being chased by birds is fine but make sure you explain things.
You can't play much of a game of melonball with a watermelon since it squashes easily but it can be quite tasty.
Ares is shorter in person.
Never underestimate the power of a kick.
A nice glass of lemonade is enjoyed by mortals and Gods alike.
If something's too easy be worried.
There are no excuses to get you out of kitchen duty.
It's good to have friends that will get you out of a tight jam.
Being the world's biggest party pooper automatically qualifies you as an adult.
There's nothing more annoying than a guy who has to keep starting over when he's counting the dinars.
There are some surprises you just don't want.
The Low Wags they're the most dangerous gang of theives around.
Tuition money is something worth stealing.
Never underestimate the power of a good bluff.
Send the horses off to delay the thieves.
Don't underestimate a bunch of wannabee warriors.
You can't rush in when there are hostages involved.
Moving the hostages is smart since it makes it impossible to rush in.
When your friend is trying to tell you something don't speak and if you do make sure that you cover by pretending to talk to your captors.
Never trust a hoodlum since as a rule they tend not to be people that keep their word.
Make sure the guy stays knocked out long enough to avoid him yelling to warn the others or just put a gag in his mouth when you tie him up.
It's vital to stay alert.
Cover the guy's mouth when you snatch him.
Blowing won't blow out the flames around you especially if lamp oil was poured on the floor around you and then it was ignited.
If no one will untie your bonds gnaw your way through them.
No one likes a double crosser.
When you don't know what it is you are eating it just doesn't appeal especially if it's all gloppy.
Friends shouldn't let a girl come between them.
Don't mock your centaur teacher for he is very wise.
Check Athens for a cook.
Girls are supposed to be sweet and gentle.
No one likes a sexist pig.
Working for your passage seriously sucks since swabbing the deck is no fun especially if you're a prince.
Don't let go of the rope.
When something is forbidden to you for some it just makes it all the more tempting.
To get the key you may have to cuddle.
Some guys are just more curious than others.
Swinging on a rope is a good idea but be warned that it could break.
People should not be cargo. Hercules
Remember that the Amazon Queen is in charge although she may need some help.
If you deceive Cyane she'll feed you to the sharks.
Don't hit on an Amazon unless you want to be in for a world of hurt.
Just because you heard something doesn't make it true.
Go to the source to find out the truth.
Even Amazons can be fooled by a God.
It's handy to have someone, sneaky, underhanded, and conniving.
If no tree is handy use a net and the ropes.
Protect the Queen at all costs.
If the wood breaks in two use both hands for maximum beating potential.
Use a bucket to stop the arrow.
Even an Amazon can admi that men can be helpful.
They're Amazons Iolaus they don't look men up they conquer them.
Sometimes you just gotta keep your options open.
Amazons don't seem to be the cooking type so don't even bother asking.
Someone that likes the quiet shouldn't be planning any parties.
Mind the hair. Iolaus
Respect and responsibility are the keys to an orderly society.
The Dean Of Mean will make you work all day if you knock him over.
If you don't show up on the first day of your job you're fired.
To give the illusion of Iolaus have some boots and rig a bale of hay to be pulled down.
If Meanie trys to go up to the loft squirt him in the eye with cow's milk.
Don't sample the food even if you're a waiter.
Tips On Waiting Tables When Your Teacher Is A Customer
1. Grab a hat and call it a cute gimmick where all the waiters can wear goofy hats.
2. Hold a bunch of dishes in front of you while taking his order.
3. Slouch down and hold your nose to make your voice sound different.
4. Walk with the tray backwards to give him his food.
5. Use the tray to hide your face.
6. Duck before you're seen after the owner of the hat snatches it off your head.
7. Who are you fooling anyone? But totally appreciate the tip.
You can't blame yourself for your son's mistakes.
Sometimes it's a teacher that learns a lesson. Cheiron
If the door is chained that's a pretty good sign the place is closed.
Gods as a rule tend not to worry about mortals being inconvenienced.
Favors tend to be free of charge.
If something goes wrong Iolaus' responsible. Jason
Always have someone to put the blame on.
Wash your hands when handling food.
No one wants to be tasting large tongue all night.
Blame the little punk for stealing the money.
Satrys are really bad for business not to mention the fact that they are lousy tippers.
Watch where you're walking.
Big guy with hooves go first got it. Iolaus
Yeah parsley it's this little green garnish it makes it look festive. Jason
Big, hairy, smelly goats don't care about parsley and festive food.
You shouldn't punish someone for something they didn't know.
It sucks being on the bottom.
Don't you break that bread. Hercules
You can also trip on an orange just like you can with a bannana.
Haven't you heard of hoof and mouth disease? Hercules
Running an inn is hard work.
A melon isn't always a melon since it could be filled with dinars.
Your friends should know when your birthday is even if you're the future king.
Fighting over a table is really lame.
Things Worth Fighting For
1. Over a kingdom.
2. Fighting for a noble cause.
3. Fighting to stop outlaws.
Well if you and this table seem to be so in love my friends and I won't keep you love birds apart any longer so do you want to be alone? Hercules
I said we wouldn't fight over a table I never said we wouldn't defend ourselves. Hercules
Dakuda: It's an award for the student demonstrating the highest ideals of the Academy.
Ideals: Honor, Skill, Loyalty
1st Test of Skill: One to one combat
You must be ready for anything. You must learn to see with other senses. Cheiron
If your blade breaks it's time to yield.
Hephaestus's own special alloy is three times as strong and twice as light as Phoneican iron. Trade secret magnetic material. It's also great for fighting dragons.
I trust that you don't think that being Dakuda is about shiny weapons. A Dakuda must learn to trust his or her senses. Cheiron
2nd Test: Fighting blindfolded
A Dakuda must be adept at one to one combat under any circumstances. Cheiron
A sword is not a toy.
I mean the last thing this world needs is for them to fall into the hands of some big, ugly, creepy funning looking kind of...Iolaus
Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut.
Just because someone doesn't want to fight doesn't mean that person doesn't need the weapons or won't fight if that person needs to.
Never trust a bully.
Well I know how it feels not to be liked. Hephaestus
Ugly bullies can run in families.
Never let a simple case of jealousy wreck a friendship.
Just because a girl's blind doesn't mean that she can't dole out an ass whuppin'.
Sometimes you have no choice but to fight. Cheiron
A warrior's strength comes from within. Cheiron
Just one thing if something wants that fancy belt of yours just give it to them. Lilith
Hey birthday boy treats. Iolaus
Story Time
They thought everything was quiet and then it came again that eerie scratching sound. So the man and the maiden sped off in the chariot. When they got home they found a monster stuck in the side of the chariot. Jason
I got a scary story for you. It takes place in a forest not unlike this in fact it could be in this very path. There were two no there were three young warriors coming from Troy and they hear this noise. Kinda like that. No it was harpies half woman half bird beast swoop down and the the flesh from your bones. Yeah yeah laugh all you want I swear it's true. They went down that path. Iolaus
I don't break laws just 'cause it's convenient. Jason
It's not very good for a future King to go around breaking laws after all he will be ruling one day.
A short cut isn't always a good idea.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Centaurs aren't lowly beasts.
The ancient feud between centaurs and Amazon is best left in the past. Cheiron
Never touch an Amazon's stuff.
Knocking the Amazon Queen down during a game of ball is a move worthy of an Amazon.
If the ball is high use your head.
It's hard to talk to someone when you keep getting interrupted.
You can't actually own a person.
As guests the Amazons are under the protection of the Academy.
You can't just ignore the law even when it's wrong.
Tradition Of Champion
Combat by champtions is a test of skill on the ropes. First one to knock the opponent to the ground wins.
The rules of champions I win I get a reward. Hercules
Check the scroll since rules are rules.
Great Kings learn from their losses.
Every beginning starts with another beginnings end. Cheiron
Even an Amazon can learn a lesson from a male.
Blind Date Tips
1. If there are three girls there should be three guys.
2. When you're introduced to your date it's a good idea to actually sit down next to her.
3. Lose the fourth guy since it kinda spoils the mood but do it in a way that won't hurt his feelings because Gods have feelings too.
4. Offer to find the fourth guy a date.
5. Don't leave the girls waiting too long or they just might leave which is a downer in the realm of dating.
Getting A Girl's Attention Tips
1. Say Hello and say it right try it out a few times before you go up to the girl.
2. Tell the girl she has pretty eyes even if she doesn't.
3. Don't turn away since the girl might walk away and a big ugly guy sits in her place.
4. If you do turn away to get support from your friends make sure the girl is still sitting there to avoid complimenting a guy.
5. If you end up complimenting a guy say, "Sorry you're not his type but you do have pretty eyes."
You can't make a girl like you.
Hephaestus making a woman sounds like an incredibly bad idea. Hercules
There are just some things you shouldn't do.
Making A Girl Checklist
1. They are smart.
2. She knows herself.
3. She has a strong will like bronze.
4. Her senses are amazing and she can see and hear things men can't.
5. They have pure hearts like gold.
6. They are geneous and full of love and affection.
Blow magic dust to wake her up which will take a minute but don't leave the cave since things will not turn out the way you planned.
What girl doesn't like butterflies and flowers.
Don't bring your brother and friends on a date since it's such a bad idea especially if the girl in question has her eyes on your brother only.
Sometimes your words can come back to haunt you.
Don't mess with a pissed off God even if most of the time he's a nice guy.
Don't turn the girl you made into one with a heart like Olympian ice even if she didn't turn out the way you want since lives can be put in danger of the serious kind.
Sometimes you need to try another approach.
Say good morning when Fuducias says it first.
Kindred is centaur for clan.
Pay attention in language class.
Knocking stuff down really sends a sign of authority through the students.
Cut out on a Friday since it's the last day of the week and you won't miss anything.
When you have four feet your run twice as fast.
Two guys don't add up to a centaur when it comes to speed.
If you encounter Amazons give the sign for peace. Hands raised above the head.
Things can change a lot.
Leaders don't need to be cruel to be in charge. The best ones can also be merciful.
Say yes to the Amazon invite.
So you're an Amazon what's up with that isn't a good question to ask.
Just because a girl is an Amazon doesn't mean she can't like a guy.
Hold your horses is a bad choice of words when everyone is going nuts over a supposed centaur attack.
Centaurs don't do sneak attacks.
Being associated with a centaur doesn't make you a spy.
Find out who the enemy really is before declaring war.
Sometimes it's best to shut your big mouth.
Guys aren't all the same since there are some good ones out there.
You give up on half the world you prove them right girls can't make it. Hercules
Walking off in a huff can get you into some serious trouble of the spikey variety.
A good grip is needed when you want to avoid being kabobbed.
Going to war over land is pretty dumb.
We should maintain peace.
Don't let your anger cloud your thinking.
Giving advice is well and good but you should also heed it.
Some people are too blind to listen.
Things aren't always as they appear.
I just don't want people I care about to die. Hercules
What's wrong with this picture is that no one's looking at the whole picture. Hercules
Scorch marks indicate a setup.
It is important to find another way if possible.
You know if you want to trick someone you make them so angry they can't think straight and sure they do anything you want.
Work on your stalling tactics since it could really come in handy.
A key just hanging there is too simple so be prepared for a trap that could spell your doom.
Attack the archer not the arrows. Cheiron
I know a con when I see it and this has setup chistled all over it. Iolaus
In the trees the Amazons have the advantage.
A sword or an arrow doesn't solve every problem since it's never that easy.
Some things aren't worth asking about.
Having the heart of an Amazon is high praise indeed especially when you're a guy.
When you don't have much time use is wisely.
You need to work on your timing if you keep coming in when the two are about to kiss.
Somtimes emotions cloud reason and even a teacher forgets lessons he's taught for so long. You reminded me of them and I thank you. Cheiron
Being different isn't always bad it can be your burden or your strength. It's up to you to decide which.
A guy will never pass the physical to become an Amazon.
Sure nice people take turns but they are also not rude.
If a guy is rude tie the rope to something and for the Gods sake don't hold it in your hand unless you want to be dragged by the chariot.
You know if you'd tied the rope to a tree like I told you this wouldn't have happened. Iolaus
Well you just can't do everything you want just 'cause it's fun. Hercules
Fun is an approach to life that everyone should try.
Well we all can't be exciting. Hephaestus
Hephaestus On People
Well some people have a fire inside them. They take everything that life has offer devour like flame burns wood.
Don't forget to keep pumping while you're talking.
Hephaestus On Changing
Well I tried to change once. This fire here comes straight from the heart of the earth. It can melt you inside make you new. Well I asked it to come into my heart and make me a warrior like Hera wanted me to be. Yeah. I just asked it. Yeah didn't like it much couldn't get any work done. There's always work to do.
Sometimes change isn't a good thing.
You know I'm gonna be king someday. Well I'm just waiting for the right kingdom to come along. Iolaus
If you're pretending to be a prince make sure you have a kingdom in mind to make your fib more real.
If he makes it I'll eat my hat. I'm not gonna eat my hat. Iolaus
Some guys like sassy girls.
Fun is good and all but a person needs to sleep sometime.
Oats are a centaur thing.
When doing a drill you're supposed to go at half speed.
Don't touch the guy who's all red and on fire 'cause you'll get burned.
A rope is useless against fire and for the Gods sake let go before you get burned.
Wood catches on fire too as cloth does too.
Chain won't burn but you may end up hanging upside down and nearly set aflame.
Help get your friend down who's hanging.
You can't be what you're not so be happy with who you are.
Everyone needs a day off sometime
There's more to being a warrior than just training you gotta develop your character.
Nothing says building your character like mushroom picking.
Actually using mushroom picking as a excuse to get her out of the way while the surprise party is being planned.
A girl has to stay on top of things.
You can't have a surprise party without some major decoratons. Jason
Training hard deserves a reward.
Input is required by the farm boy as well as the prince.
Now only get the mushrooms that are non poisonous and don't eat any until Cheiron's checked them out. Hercules
How can something that tastes so good come from such a disgusting plant? Lilith
You'll always find the bigger mushrooms in the back.
Giant rocks on the leg hurts like Tartarus.
Tell the truth when someone's hurt.
A cave in with a bunch of rocks falling on ya could lead to your head being in some seriuos pain.
Where's aspirin when you need it?
When decorating for a surprise party you want to go for a different look.
It's good to get in touch with your feminine side.
Sometimes no matter what you do the person dies anyway.
Someone that can sense trouble makes a good lookout.
Not every girl wants to be a home maker since some girls need something different like being a warrior.
Being small can be an advantage like catching your opponent off guard for instance but eventually you need to learn to fight.
Don't forget extra cream pies when planning a party.
Don't forget the Borkabobs because everyone loves those.
Just because someone is a girl doesn't mean she's all that crazy about pink but it was sweet to try.
Even if you don't want to sometimes you have to leave to get help.
Don't trust strange men that pop up in a cave out of nowhere no matter how hot they may be.
Sometimes you just need to walk away while the guys argue.
Leave when things get too hairy like a fight breaks out.
Check to make sure the guy's dead before you start celebrating.
Ares you know it wouldn't have taken a brain surgeon to figure out my brother was behind all this. Hercules
Picking mushrooms can be quite dangerous.
Party preparations can really take their toll so a nice nap is in order.
The answer false doesn't work unless it's a true/false question.
In order to graduate you actually need to crack a book once in a while.
Blood isn't always thicker than water.
If a God's trying to kill you that's a serious sign that he doesn't like you not one bit.
If you can't swim you should really learn so you're not stuck on shore not able to help.
It's a good sign when your question about being dead is answered with a no.
You can't rise if you're anaware that you're the defender.
Cowards! Come on and fight me! You call yourself Gods! You sneak up and attack people without warning! You're not Gods! You're just a bunch of stinking cowards! Iolaus
You know it's said that uh a friend's never really lost if you remain true to the dreams you shared. Cherion
Go on hug him since he's your best friend after all.
Sometimes the fish is inside the boot so make sure to check.
It's a good idea to run away from the flames since no one likes to burn.
If you pull a guy out of the pond and he doesn't remember who is he is he's gotta be called something like Fish for instance.
No man is without a past. Someone will come for him or his memory will return until then I'm sure you'll take good care of him. Cheiron
A belch during a meal is a sign of enjoyment.
There is nothing wrong with making things.
Be careful of machines when you have long hair since it could get bad when it grabs you and swings you around which causes a sacrifice of some hair to escape.
Nothing ruins a meal more than when an ugly scary giant peeks into your window and scares the Tartarus out of you.
Kora's Money Maker
It's made from dried beans from Ethiopia. You grind the beans up then you boil it in water. No no because after it's boiled you throw the ground beans away and you drink the water.
You really think somebody's gonna pay to drink old bean water. Iolaus
Well you add milk first. Also add cinnamon to make it taste better.
Sometimes it's better to give a sample instead of trying to explain.
Well it was easy. Ideas come to me. I look at something and I can see what it could be. Hephaestus
Some guys just want to fight.
It's better to be hit with flour instead of flames.
You can't blame anyone when a rock gets thrown into your flame thrower and it stops working.
No I just sit here in the hot sun handing out headbands for my health.
The heat can make a guy cranky so next time try an umbrella to make yourself a little shade.
A mean guy isn't appealing especially when it was an accident and the other guy did apologize.
Throwing a guy after spinning him is uncalled for.
Pollux is always very grumpy before a competition as well as homicidal.
Accept a free dinner even with the jerk because it's for your friend and hey free meal is always a good thing.
We grew up in a village outside Sparta. Mother tried to keep us away from other people. Well Hercules can appreciate it the rest of you don't know what it's like when you tell someone that Zeus is your father. Castor
Yep kids can be cruel. Hercules
You can't change who your parents are.
All I want to do is make everybody that laughed at us when we were kids eat their words. That's why I became an athlete to rub their noses in it. Pollux
No one likes a bragger and a bully.
Let your friend know about your plans since it sucks to stand up your friends.
Finding brothers is great and all but don't totally blow off your friends.
To slow down the competition say, "Oh is that Zeus?" and point they fall for it every time.
It's pathetic to cheat when you have a bit of a lead and then you throw a rock at the guy when he keeps coming.
Being a son of Zeus doesn't make you exempt from rules or better than mere mortals.
You should care about honor.
I want you to float like a butterfly and sting like a wasp. Iolaus
Just keep moving.
Watch your footwork. Keep your fists up. Iolaus
You can win by playing the rules.
It's not who your father is it's who you are. Hercules
It's not your fault if your twin brother is a jerk.
A ruler must appear to know everything even when you don't.
No playing ball in the throne room.
Never quibble with the Sibyl.
Even a prince needs to go out and play since all work and no play makes him a dull prince indee.
Falling on the ball flattens it.
I wish I was a prince huh nobody ever gives me rocks. Hercules
A rock isn't always a rock since it could turn out to be a basilik.
Don't stick your arm in anyone's mouth.
Having green goo spit on you tends to make one lose one's appetite.
Don't spit green goo at the people that are on your side.
It's vital to remember that you can't swim so you don't end up needing saving.
Some people can only be seen when they want to be. Hercules
A basilik's venom can turn a man to ashes although it takes time to take effect.
Some people just don't know how to show their appreciation.
If you see green goo have water handy.
According to the legend there's basiliks over this rise. Hercules
As much as it pains you sometimes you have to let someone you care about especially when he's a little basilik that will one day be very big not to mention dangerous.
Bacchus the God of good times with Bacchus on your side you can kiss your cares goodbye. Orpheus
The gilded spring is said to come straight from the center of the earth. Eurydice
Eurydice On Bacchus
Bacchus believes that pleasure and freedom are what all creatures should live for. No rules. No fears. No regrets. Your academy is all training and studying. No fun. Be one of us Hercules forever.
Save the chit chat for later unless you want to keep getting knocked onto your ass.
Yeah well keep your guard up or that's not all that'll be broken ok. Lilith
Bacchus isn't a cyclops that works for Ares.
Pinning the tail on the centaur isn't a good party.
Good Party According To Hercules
1. Good food.
2. Lots of interesting people.
3. They're girls. (Don't forget to mention guys for your friend who's a girl.)
You miss out on stuff when you go to King School.
It never fails. Chicks always dig guys with horns. Iolaus
Sometimes a dance is more than a dance.
Fangs is a sign of something being wrong.
Leave a party when it gets a little too strange especially if the host has horns.
Cheiron On Bacchus
Count yourselves lucky you escaped his cult. The Bacchae live for the whims of their master. Legend has it that in moments of extreme excitement the Bacchae transform into wolves.
Next time I see that two faced Orpheus he'll be playing that lyre with his toes. Hercules
Getting bit by a bacchae makes you woozy and come sundown you'll belong to Bacchus.
Just because a girl's a baccahe doesn't mean she's not a good person.
Don't let Hercules pick the party unless you want things to be either way dull or way too strange.
Gods are never out of the picture. Hercules
Sometimes they really are friends of the band.
Use your friend of the band status to get the chicks.
With Bacchaus's golden lyre you can touch the souls of the audience.
When your friend won't go with you carry him out so he doesn't get bacchaed.
A mirror isn't always what it appears to be.
Never trust a red skinned horned God.
Ball's in your court Horn Boy. Deal with it. Orpheus
Always keep your sword nice and sharp.
The undead can only be defeated by their own. Such weapons are not easy to come by. Cheiron
A dryad won't give you a bone even if you ask.
Honesty is important in any relationship.
Ladies and Gentlemen I don't mean to alarm you but there are bacchae in the building. Hercules
While a God may be eternal his hold on people isn't.
Sometimes the girl goes with the lying creep.
Make sure that the case actually has something inside.
Sometimes following your destiny involves great sacrifice.
A gun can be a real drag when he loses the girl.
Everyone can be wrong sometime.
It's not a good sign when bacchae are afoot.
You are lower than something really low. Hercules
Work on your comebacks.
If Bacchaus doesn't get back his lyre he will get very cranky.
In general you just can't deal with a God.
Daring rescues don't always go as planned.
Go stuff a grape leaf would ya. Iolaus
Today we unite the eternal with the temporal. Eurydice and I shall be joined as one. Together we shall reign over the Bacchae Kingdom.
Smells like trouble. Iolaus
Save the hugging until you're out of the burning cave.
Don't give up on yourself. Eurydice
No the pain of this loss is more than anything I can inflict but when your sorrow fades I'll find you and take my revenge. Bacchaus
Family who needs them when most of them are out to kill you.
A guy that just lost a girl he loved doesn't make him feel very festive even if Iolaus is in the dunking booth.
When Iolaus is in the dunking booth stock up on the tickets.
A good friend will go with you to the other side.
A mortal shouldn't have to pay for a God's whims.
Charon's got a schedule to keep and he can get grumpy especially if you're still alive and you don't pronounce his name right.
Charon's not a showgirl.
Executive Officer in charge of transport a chronic division first class and I don't help the living. Charon
Name dropping can get you places.
No one wants to have their arm ripped off and beaten with the soggy end.
Some things you just don't want to know.
Offering to row is well and good but offering a friend up to rub Charon's bunions is quite another.
All bacchae are condemned to Tartarus.
The Fates can be cruel. Hercules
Hades Beef
You're telling me my brother Zeus gets to be King of all Gods. My other brohter Poseidon gets to be God of the Sea. And I get to be God of the Other Side. Hanging around for eternity with nothing but dead people. Doesn't seem fair.
Butter up Hades so you get to go to the Elysian Fields to pay your dad a visit.
A soul can't leave its place of final judgement. Hades
Sometimes people do sacricie themselves for someone else.
Such courage is rare. Perhaps people can change and become worthy of the Elysian Fields. Hades
Even a God can learn something from a mortal.
Goodbyes are tough but take comfort in the fact that the girl is now in the Elysian Fields.
Little basilisks grow into very big ones.
Sarcasm look into it.
If you can't buy it than plan a breakout.
If you can't find the keys use a sword to break the lock.
Instead of green goo the full grown basilisk breathes fire.
No one likes a lynch mob.
Breathing fire makes one quite thirsty.
What the fruit was that? Hercules
Missing someone even a basilisk isn't silly at all.
It's really low to steal a guy's boots.
Fight the bandits since they can't be reasoned with.
Five on one is a little excessive.
Forest trails aren't always as safe as they appear to be.
Even a man on a mission needs to eat.
So he's standing on Mount Olympus looking down on him and Zeus says to Ares, "You may be the God of War but you're still going bald." Lucis
Some guys are just talk.
Twins are really two parts of one person the Fates had joined them like the two halves of the moon.
The truth has to come out eventually.
When you're grieving it's understandable to be upset especially when the father is Zeus.
Meeting another brother isn't always a good thing.
Keep the psycho talking while you break through your bonds.
A psycho has no say in who deserves to live and who deserves to die.
Practice your spinning so you don't get dizzy.
It's not always the wind since it could be Nemesis with her bow and arrow.
The punishment does not always fit the crime like killing a man for stealing a little oil from Hera's temple for his sick child.
Watch out for Stregna's very long hair.
You can't hit what you can't see. Nemesis
Keep a firm grip on your sword especially if you end up hanging from a tree.
Always ask for permission to use a person's sword.
Cut Stregna's hair so she goes away but remember that it will grow back.
When the death machine is a babe you want to see her again.
Never challenge satyrs to a race unless you feel like running around naked when you lose.
It's good to keep your options open.
King Etiquette
1.It's of utmost importance to remember that an ambassador from Sidonia must always be greeted with the left hand and must never be seated facing south.
2.Respecting others customs even pirates is statesmanship the formalities are what's important.
3.Great cities have gone to war for less.
4. Pay attention because protocol makes the world go round.
Ya fell for the dummy dummy. Hercules
Becoming king is very stressful which can lead to a case of the grumpies.
No thanks creepy lady. Jason
Some guys just won't take no for an answer.
When a beautiful girl asks you to dance you can't refuse.
Planting Tips
1. If you plant too early you miss the rain, nothing grows and you go hungry.
2. If you plant too late you miss the market, nothing sells and you go poor.
A journey can be quite enlightening.
You should fight for the right to live in peace.
Sweet talk the creepy lade along with a dinar to find out where your friend went.
Run away fast from the creepy lady once you know what you need to know.
Sometimes you have to take a stand and for what you believe in. Jason
Party at my palace. Jason
Alcemene's cooking is like the Elysian Fields on earth especially her sweet apple pie and her fig tars and the lamb with the red sauce.
Talking about food makes ya hungry.
Smelling smoke can sometimes be a sign of a fire and not someone cooking.
When you need to make a dinner guest that is driving you nuts leave use the excuse of inspecting the troops if you're the prince and you don't want to be rude.
Some guys should really use a bib when they eat.
Always use the fork furtherest from the plate first.
Even a Prince can miss his friends.
I'm gonna break you in half followed by running away doesn't exactly strike terror.
Never trust a hooded man that says golly.
Be weary if the big guy runs away.
Saying, "Knot a problem," is a serious sign of boredom.
To make the little girl who lost her dog feel better give her a magic coin but realize that she'll take off with it.
Always look for clues.
Etiquette lessons are a tedious but necessary thing when you're going to be King one day.
Let the kid have your dinar.
No goat stew for psycho boy until he does what his equally psychotic mother wants unless of course she likes the new plan.
Sometimes you're a little slow on the uptake.
Sometimes you make yourself look bad all by yourself.
Ceres the Goddess of Bounty can be a bear.
Some people just can't remember their dreams
Sometimes a nightmare is more than a nightmare.
The Gods cause this presence to enter our world from your dream. It seems like the work of Morpheus. Cheiron
Physical presence in the dream world is tricky stuff people get hurt you know. Morpheus
Embrace your greatest fear. Cheiron
To destroy it would be to destroy part of yourself. Cheiron
The vortex is the only way back out.
Now concentrate on the still surface of the water. Come on and breathe as I tell you. Slowly, slowly. Cheiron
Screaming is a natural reaction when your hands have bugs crawling all over them.
Remember that it's only a dream
You're forgetting something Ares a little something called inner strength. Hercules
None of us are without our dark sides. Cheiron
Sometimes you just want to play bag ball instead of going back to sleep especially after being sucked into a nightmare.
Being called a shark isn't always meant as a compliment.
All work and no play keeps the restaurant open.
When you're going off to battle just be ready. Jason
So are you two going to buy something or are you just wasting space? Kora
If you need both hands free just use a guy's head as a stand.
Chloe's Adventures
So I walked right up to the bouncer and I'm like is this a private party? And he's all eya it is go away. So I go on come on please. And he's like no so then I go how's about we arm wrestle I win I get in. King Midas gave this to me himself solid gold. Yeah I danced with him twice. He's a cute guy if you overlook the donkey ears.
It's ok for the girl to muss up the hair but not a guy even if he's a friend.
Running A Restaurant Tips
1. There's more to it than joking around with customers.
2. You don't let six people leave without giving them a check.
3. You need to show a little more responsibility.
4. You need to provide good service.
5. Some things aren't worth the effort.
6. Don't insult the customers.
7. Don't run away the customers.
8. Math skills are a must.
Tap dance in Hera's Temple but only if you're dared.
It's not easy when your sister breezes into town and all they talk about is her it's like you don't even exist.
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