Warrior Babes The Second



Lorne On Pylea
Talk about screwed up values. A world of only good and evil. Black and white. No gray. No music. No art. Just champions roaming the countryside fighting for justice. Bo-ring! Got a problem solve it with a sword. No one admits to having actual feelings and emotions. Let alone talks about them. Can you imagine living in a place like that?
Landok On His Cousin
The same Krevlorne Swath of the Death Wok Clan who refused the ancient tradition of hunting and gathering. Your cowardice even extended to the sacred joust.
I will not receive glory unless you perform the rituals.


Into a dimension
She was sucked
A vision of a girl
At first she was captured
A chatty cow slave
Until she had a vision
Quite a hellish place
If you're a human
An exception to the rule
Cursed with visions
She passed a painful test
From slave to princess
She left her mark
Dazzled by Groo
With his eyes
One last kiss
The Groosalug
A fierce warrior
Cow in his blood
Proves his worth
By fighting endlessly
Never does he lose
He meets a girl
A princess and cow
Falls in love deeply
Gets left behind
To rule Pylea
To make a better place
For those who are human
And so not cows
Lives in the dimension Pylea
Oh how he loves to dance
Related to Lorne
The two are brothers in fact
Dancing up a storm
Doing the Dance of Joy
When all is swell
Doing the Dance of Sorrow
When things are gloomy
Back Home
Needed to go back
Although he was reluctant
Needing some closure
Decides to take the plunge
Reunited with his family
Head was cut off
Body not mutilated
Kept on the lice pile
Goodbye to mom
With her parting words
May you burn in Tarkna
Same old mom
A big robust woman
With major facial hair
They ate the wrong son
Shamed by this runt
Beating her breast
And cursing her loins
Proud of her other son
Enjoying his constant dancing


This is a world where there are two suns and vampires don't burst into flames. However there is a pretty nasty side effect of being there. The human side comes out so the reflection can also be seen but when you let the demon out it is in its purest form so it's pretty nasty and viscious.
Human Beings
Humans are called cows and are enslaved. A Hell beastie hunts them down and they are sold at market. They use a barter system since they have no form of currency. A collar is placed around the neck and the person with the controlling device can inflict pain if the person doesn't please them. The device can also blow a person's head off which isn't good. They give you a sack to wear so they aren't a very fashionable race. Their clothes aren't all the much better either.
Pylean Philosophy
Cows are not for talking they're for doing their jobs.
Colors are pretty much frowned upon.
Constable Norwick: The guy in charge and a total hater of trash scum. He also enjoys watching a slow execution with lots of pain.
Their big form of entertainment is mutilating.
They also have no sense of humor
The Constable On Cows
Cows are not friends. They are creatures of labor. Beats of burden no more.
When executions are performed the corpses are dragged to the village square where the bodies are hung as a warning.
As it was ordained in the begginng all cows belong to you.
The Priests Of Trombley
The red robey types that run the place. They also have some connection with Wolfram & Hart which is no big surprise.
Holy Books
And if one of thy slaves offend me thou shalt smite him down. And if all of thy slaves offend thee thou shall smite them down too even unto the every last one in the land.
Prophecy Concerning The Cursed One
It is foretold in the ancient prophecies that one will come who is cursed with the visions. She will mate with the Grossalug whose demon blood shall absorb them. In other words if Cordy has sex with Groo he will receive the visions.
The Holy Books are written in Trionic. No one volume is complete without the other two. It's really one book broken up into three pieces. The rhythm of the sentence structure lets one know when to jump from book to book to book. (Has a connection with Wolfram & Hart)
Champion Of The Realm
Groosalug The Brave And Undefeated
An animal, beast to my people I was nothing more than this. Can you not see why? You are truly benificent such compassion to ingnore the flaws of my polluted birth. The strange curve of my mouth. The odd bulging of my limbs. The heart beating in the wrong place. As I matured these defects became more apparent. The Covenant soon determined there could be no mistake there was cow's blood in my veins.
On Being Part Cow
For my people to be part cow is to be less than whole. There was nothing I could do to prove my worth. I was incapable even of performing husbandly duties with any of the femailes of my tribe. Anatomically equipped to mate only with a human. I was cast from my village and cut off from my life givers forced to make my way on my own. I sought to end my suffering. I foolishly entered every contest of skill and daring that I could in an attempt to snuff out my pathetic life even at this I failed. I won every match! I vanquished every flame beast. I defeated every drakan. It seemed nothing could stop me. The Covenant had no choice but to bestow upon me Groosalug the Brave and Undefeated.
Chamipon of the Realm can't turn down a challenge even if a princess asks him to.
I challenge name of person to mortal combat. Come out and face me (you spineless coward). Use the last part to really piss the person off.
Swinging the Kreble: A great honor
A warrior is carried by two others around in a circle and two others walk around with a human. The person is given an axe to cut off the runaway slaves head.


Helpful Tips
Just In Case You Get Sucked Into Another Dimension
Or You Need To Rescue A Friend
1. If you see a book with very strange words don't read it out loud because who knows what will happen.
2. If you do get sucked in don't scream because that will draw potential bad attention to yourself especially if the place you have been sent to enslaves your species.
3. If you have to go it certainly helps to have a guide.
4. Go in a car so you end up in the same place since if you go in side by side you will end up in different places.
5. The book that you use to open the portal may only be one way so it may not come with you.
6. If you do get captured sometimes it is best to stay quiet because what is the point of getting beat on especially if you are surrounded and have no way to fight out.
7. Sometimes it can make you feel a little better to pretend that the manacles are made of a magickal alloy if you can't break them.
Angel Beast
Angel's vampire self has been sublimated somehow by this dimension. Only his human self has surfaced like being able to walk in the sun and seeing a reflection. And now for some reason he's accessed his demon and he can't find the balance he has on Earth. His demon self totally overcomes his human side. The demon in its purest form.


Hot Spots
Certain geographical areas are rife with pyschic energy. These areas tend to function as dimensional hot spots, natural gateways between worlds. Creating a portal tends to deplete the hot spot of its psychic energy. A second portal can't be opened once it has been used. When seperate entities enter a dimensional portal they tend to well seperate. If you open another portal and just jump in you could end up on opposite ends of the world.
Portals To Pylea
LA library
Parmount Studios
Fred On The Goobleygook To Open A Portal
They're not words. They're consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula. I used to think if you said them out loud and in the right order the quaking and quivering would.
Fred On Portals
It's a trionic speech craft formulation modification that has to alter the dynamics realight here.

Cordy's Title
 The venerable Monarch of Pylea. The General of the Ravenous Legions. eater of our enemies flesh. Blood of the Sacrificial Blood Rites and Sovreign Pro Council of Death.
Lay down your weapons. Silas is dead all priests have been defeated. Any guard who harms a human from this day forth shall have to answer to me.
I have a vision actually I have two visions and in one of them you get to keep your head. Take a memo.
Free the slaves and outlaw polyester.
As it is now written all citizens are created equal. Slavery and religious persecution are outlawed.
Gunn On Reconstruction
Saying people are free don't make them free. You got races that hate each other. You got some folks getting work they don't want others losing the little they had. You're looking at social confusion, economic depression, and probably some riots.


A Mother's Love
First Words
I have often prayed that I may look upon your face. You have shamed your clan and betrayed your kind. Each morning before I feed I go out into the hills where the ground is thorny and parched, beat my breats and curse the loins that gave birth to such a cretin boy child. Your father was right we ate the wrong son. (after gone) We noticed feasting and celebrating. Your brother Numfar did the Dance of Joy for three moos.
Deathwok Clan
Mother: big woman with a full on beard Father: presumed dead
Sons: one was eaten, Numfar, and Krevlorneswath
Cousin: Landok
Parting Words
I thought you were lost to us forever. But you came back. You came back the runt of my lions came back after raining such misery on our lives and managed to shame us even further. Who's supposed to do our labors now that your cow friend has freed the slaves? You know what they call me at the Hall of Drink and Change? Mother of the vile excrement. Go on misfit back to your world where no one knows its place. May you rot in Tarkna.


Blachna: Nests in Scumpits of Earth. Groo has slain many. Tracking it will be simple, killing it more difficult. Of course any warrior would present the beast's head as a token.
Chivra: Ritual of the Bereaved
Groo On Warriors
Pylean warriors are trained for such endurance. I once happened upon a herd of Burbeasts. And, as you know an engorged Burbeast will couple with anything that moves. I was forced to stand perfectly still for eleven days and nights.
Mockna: A soothing brew to relieve tension. The mud gives it body and flavor. When there is no Plockweed in the dimension since it only grows in Pylea use creeping fig and sour grass. Though it's not true mock-na it's close to the real thing.
Schlug-tee: tense neck muscles