In the modern world even a girl vamp needs a little help when it comes to getting on with her unlife. Here are some tips to help you along your eternity.
Straight guy: a guy that isn't a vamp.
It's a good idea to have a job where the boss understands you since he's a vamp too which is a bonus.
Realize that vamps get grumpy and this particular soul having one doesn't mean to be mean he's just that way at times even with those he's closest to.
Having a vampire for a boss has it's benefits since there is that special glass that allows you to see the sun without being turned into a pile of dust.
You of course don't need to live in a crypt anymore since that is so old school why not get yourself a cute little apartment. Although crypts can be fixed up to look all homey it just won't put a guy in the right mood if you brought him back to one.
If you are being ignored when girls are chatting be aware that something could be up.
Take advantage of the fact that you sort of know some of the big wigs. Talk to one of them about your grumpy boss if you can't face him yourself.
You need to put yourself out that and meet people.
When you go up to a cute guy that's sitting at the bar make sure you keep track of your drink so someone doesn't slip something into it.
Go out and bond with another girl and become pals since everyone needs those even a vamp girl.
If you wake up the next morning with a dead body in the bed don't wrap it in a bedsheet and stick it in the garbage since it'll turn up at your place of employment.
Avoid the human blood since that pokey thing will stick you and everyone will know if you've been feeding. Find out if it can distinguish between consensual feeding or just a random snacking and killing type of blood drinking.
Everyone deserves another chance especially if you happen to save the big wigs asses even though it was done accidentally.
Believe that you are worth something after all that girl did try to destroy you by framing you and going after you like that.
You should get an alarm clock that either plays the music or does the beeping thing not both at the same time since that's really annoying.
Some dogs just really hate vamps.
The boss gets first dibs on the microwave to warm up his blood but it annoys the guy that got their first.
It's a bad sign when you get totally blown off by the chicks chatting.
A stern warning doesn't work when your work has a zero tolerance policy.
Before placing an order make sure there is a return policy just in case your boss isn't happy with the results.
Check the dead guy's neck to see which side he was bitten on since it could very well clear you.
People write with a certain hand and the same goes for vamps since some are right biters and some are left biters.
The down side of putting a body down the garbage chute is the fact that it misses the dumpster which means you have to do down and put it in the dumpster.
The body will be found after all your place of employment owns the LAPD.
If you're boss says blood and you haven't given him his morning cup of blood that's all he means not that you actually have blood on you.
Desk crunches: Get fit while you sit to explain the hiding and crouching in the chair.
Never say, "What could go wrong?" since everything could go wrong.
Tell the boss to put a microwave and fridge in the office for the warmest blood and to avoid spiked blood mishaps.
Yes vamps stress eat but if you find yourself enjoying the blood too much be aware that it just may be spiked with human blood.
Writing out a To Do List can be very helpful when you have a bunch of things to do.
Think positive like: Life is peachy.
If the window is clear you can be seen if you try to listen in to a phone conversation.
Forgive and forget is the golden rule especially when it looks like you blacked out and accidentally killed someone.
Damn those Lemon Drops!
Changing your name from Harmony to Harmonita isn't a very good name change if you plan on going away to hide.
Finding out where the random blood test results go is a good idea but knocking a bunch of people and sticking them in the closet isn't.
Pretending not to hear the moaning from the closet only to knock the guy out and stick him in there is a big no no.
Sometimes talking to a person can get more results.
Locking the girl that is trying to help you out is a really bad idea.
If you do knock out and lock people in the closet make it up to them by taking them out to dinner.
Looking for fingerprints on your thermos is a good idea but get someone to help you out.
Don't attack the geek even though he has your thermos since he could be reaching for something behind your thermos.
Hone your skills enough so you know when a person is telling the truth or lying.
Work on remembering names because that can go a long way and people respond better when you actually know their name.
Get a word a day calendar to improve your vocabulary.
Channel's not tacky!
You really should be aware of those who are vamps at work.
Never mess with a girl's unicorns because you will get a serious ass kicking or dusted.
A head lock is a good idea but make sure you wear the right shoes since someone stomping on your foot could really hurt.
Try going to the boss and explaining what happened instead of bonking people on the head and locking them up in a closet.
When a vamp doesn't have a soul she has to try harder.
If you test positive for human blood you will be clear in two days but the guy will have his eye on you.
Just bring us some coffee is the boss's way of saying you're not fired.
It's a bummer when the little umbrellas run out.
Some guys make you go all tingly when you see them no matter how horribly you treated her in the past and took her for granted.
It's often best to keep things simple.
Remember that you matter.
Don't correct one of the bosses on his pronounciation since some words are said differently by some people.
If you are sitting at your desk and are asked, "Is he in?" the he they are talking about would be the big boss.
Remember to fill in Angel before you make a move on anything.
Act like we care. Good plan. You should lose the act part since it sounds better when you actually care after all the guy is the reason you have a good job and a nice place to live without being hunted into soup mix.
It's always a good idea to check with the boss before doing anything at all.
Don't say, "How was your coma?" Sure it's a sign of caring in a weird way but that's the last thing the girl wants to hear.
Torturing may be a part of the job so be willing to do one for the team if no one else will step up since you are technically evil and don't have a soul.
I don't mind torturing her for the team. Come on you hussy spill it. While saying this make with the punching.
If the person starts talking that would be the time to stop punching even though it sucks when the person gives it up so quickly.
Guarding someone can lead to a snack when the boss gives you permission to eat if the person tries to escape.
I may have blood lust but I'm happy to help with torturing especially when it's a little weasel.
Gonna torture him? Can I help? I'm really good at it. Why do you think I want to help? Because I got some kind of blood lust? Well ok that too but Fred's my friend. We went out for drinks all the once and if Poindexter here had anything to do with hurting her then I'm in for a big fat pound of flesh.
I watch out for my friends and if I have to torture as a part of it I'm ready and willing to do whatever it takes.
Smack her a good one for me. So gonna leave a mark. I'm just glad that the healing process is way faster for me just one of the benefits of being one of the undead.
At least I didn't get tossed out the window landing smack dab on the sidewalk since that would have left a way bigger mark.
Every cloud has a silver lining you just have to look for it.
It's not fair that the one previously known as Fred is super strong and can move really fast and can so kick my ass without breaking a sweat.
Come on I got a degree in tearing things up.
Knox: I never trusted that little nerd. The rumpled hair. The socks that didn't match. The cute lopsided grin. So totally playing us. I mean who did he think he was fooling besides all of us? Um shouldn't you be wearing one of those linen suits? Right. Mind if I put one on?
I can so be compassionate when it calls for it and I feel for poor Wes for losing the girls of his dreams right after they had finally gotten together.
The girl of your dreams loved you. That's more than most people ever get.
I guess even unbreakable things can break especially if it's beaten with a crowbar.
I always appreciate the urge to smash and stuff but sometimes it's not appropriate.
Got me beat. All I found was a cell phone and a cheese sandwich. It had his name written on the bag with a little smiley face in the o the big girl. Oh um I think so. Got a Rick Springfield screen saver which opens up a whole new set of questions.
Finding a cell phone is useful since it can tell you stuff like who called or missed calls or whatever.
Being Helpful: What about missed calls? Knox couldn't have erased it if he didn't have his lady phone on him.
It feels good to help out and know that I truly have a purpose in the world.
When the boss wants something done just do it even if it won't work I'll just get on it because he's the boss.
It's really hard to get a firm ETA on alternate dimension travel.
Hey just because I'm blonde doesn't make me dumb.
Whe I jump on the scary guy that's your cue to haul ass and people think I'm dumb.
Hmm so this Immortal guy is worse than Spike but I'm wondering if he just might be jealous of this guy so many a little research is in order.
