Most pretty girls that turn up in the
morgue are dead.
Forensic Attendant
1. Retrieves the body.
2. Weighs it.
3. Measures it.
4. Attatch the toe tag.
5. Charts the vitals.
6. Checks the standards: head hair, pubic hair, nail clippings.
7. Put the body in storage.
It's called the Crypt. It's where every unnatural death in the city
comes to rest waiting for an autopsy. Davis
Take a peek inside you know you want to.
Working in the morgue for the graveyard shift is ironic but it'll
look good to the medical schools.
Thirty-two dead bodies still makes you all alone not to mention a
little on edge especially when one of them talks to you.
If you hear something coming from the crypt go for the latest
addition.
If the dead body isn't there she's not dead yet.
Let me get this straight in the eight hours since you've started working
here you've decided to solve all the cases very ambitious. You know what I did today I bought socks. Davis
Working in a morgue kinda cuts into the post college slacking off.
Nothing impresses the boss like showing up on time.
There's always another body ready to go to the morgue.
Don't shake hands when you're gloved and bloody.
The morgue might not be Party Central but things will pick up.
Working in a morgue is kinda dead.
A year with a low death rate should be a good thing but the years
following going up like a skyrocket makes it bad.
There's nothing more brutal than seeing a dead child.
Sometimes the job chooses you.
Some girls just wanna learn so a lot of questions are asked.
We're all someplace for a reason just sometimes we need to accept
what that reason is. Davis
Not that I'm not cool with the whole concept of corpses speaking to
me but if you're gonna ask for my help now would be the time. Tru
Always make sure there's a vacancy where the dead guy was before.
4
Some people belong in the morgue and others don't.
I've seen a lot of strange things here very little shocks me. Davis
Surprise picking up dead bodies is part of the job description although
it should have been mentioned when the job started.
First Dead Body Advice: Don't think so much.
I memorize everything I can if they ask for help I lose the body and
the evidence. The only thing I can go on is what I remember. Tru
After thirty-nine days at the morgue you should take the day off.
Forensic Simulator Program: It helps investigators recreate a crime
scene that has been tampered with or destroyed. It can give you height, weight, sex but it takes a few hours.
A job at a morgue is not only easy but can also lead to sucking
big time.
Not as creepy as I'd thought it'd be. Meredith
When symptoms set in like shortness of breath and sweating that means
the person is running out of time.
Don't let in a guy with a murder victim because he might be trying
to remove evidence which could lead to a whole world of trouble because desperation can drive a person to murder.
If the hospital is too far away go to the morgue.
I can't work on live people they freak me out. Davis
I am perfectly capable of prepping a body solo. Tru
We don't have rooms. We have drawers. Davis
Morgue Etiquette
1. Don't lock yourself in a crypt because that's just ooky.
2. Don't ask how much a corpse goes for on the black market.
3. Don't touch the sterile instruments.
4. Don't touch the body that needs to be autopsied.
5. Don't speak to the dead bodies because they aren't gonna talk back
if you aren't someone with the calling.
Well maybe your job isn't as obvious as we thought. Perhaps someone
is supposed to die today. Davis
I can't deal with this. I'm not in the business of deciding who
is and who isn't supposed to die. Tru
People always say things happen for a reason well that reason is fate
and fate by defintion is immutable. Maybe you're just here to make sure that fate gets its way. Davis
Ah Valentines Day somehow in the morgue it seems more romantic.
Lindsay
Pick up death certificates at County Records.
Get out of the morgue once in a while so you know when you're being
played by a girl with a pretty face.
Yeah it's never easy coming to the morgue. Davis
It's easy to come to the morgue when you're dead.
Never leave your computer unattended 'cause some people will take
that as an invitation to snoop.
When your shift ends you should go home and get some sleep.
Jack On The Job Perks
1. Decent place to work.
2. Resonable on call hours.
3. Steady turnover.
So uh this is the uh sign in room hub of most of the activity not
today obviously. Davis
LFD is the only way to do your primary filing.
Just so the functionally literate wouldn't drink my soda. Tru
Don't hire someone who has a perpetual habit of being late to work
and not showing up and moving on to another job because that is not a good sign.
The one place you don't want to go on a family outing is to the morgue
because the means someone died.
It'll get easier. This doing what we do. All these people get taken
before their time sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. Tru
Digital Autopsy Capture: You scan the body with the camera for any visible signs of trauma then enter
the name and case number into the database.
Live Scan Machine: Used to log fingerprints, flat panels, and take hand depressions.
Read the manual for the whole scoop.
Warn the new guy about the vending machine and tell him where he can get food that's actually edible.
An occupational hazard of working in the morgue is talking to yourself.
When No Body Is Recovered
Well under certain circumstances a coroner's office can declare a person dead without a body it's called a
Certificate Of Persumptive Death.
You'd be surprised at how demanding dead people can be.
Well according to my research relived Wednesdays are a statistical rarity. I was gonna make it your regular
days off. Davis
Planning to fake your own death spend the day at the morgue for info under the guise of it being research
for your next movie.
Everyone eventually passes through the morgue at some point.
Avoid morgue humor when you mention the dead person as feeling worse than you do 'cause it's not funny.
It's sad when no one claims the body.
The left lung is smaller than the right to make room for the heart 'cause the heart always comes first.
Sign a notarized statement so the body can be released from the morgue.
Don't play with anything in the morgue.
Once your secret about being Death is revealed you get taken off the payroll.
