Warrior Babes The Second

The Academy

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In a time of light and darkness Zeus King of the Gods ruled the universe. He had a son young Hercules. Half God half man young Hercules longs to find his place in the world. The father he's never known and what it means to be a hero. Before the man became legend before the legend became myth came the greatest adventure of all.

Cheiron
 
Head of the Academy
Full of wisdom
Although it can sound like riddles
A centaur warrior is he
That really knows his stuff
A most excellent teacher

Expect the unexpected. Iolaus
 
Not having dinars is a sign that you're broke.
 
Why don't you keep your hooves to yourself? Hercules
 
A tree that grows on the stoniest ground has the strongest roots. Cheiron
 
Don't forget to watch your footwork.
 
Don't be so quick to run off to steal a chalice just because Zeus was mentioned.

Think before you leap.
 
If a trap looks too easy don't do something stupid.
 
Save the lecture until after the danger's over.
 
Don't pour the liquid out of the chalice even if it appears to be water.
 
If flames pop out then run like Tartarus.
 
Anything that has to do with Hera is never a good thing.
 
A blast was had when beans were served for a week in the dining hall.

Be careful when sneaking in.
 
Rope the Phoenix so you can shake your friend lose.
 
Be ready to catch your friend falling out of the sky.
 
Duh of course a firm grip is needed when you are dangling from a flying Phoenix.
 
Ask for help before you run out of rope.
 
Don't forget to look before you leap.
 
Let a guy catch his breath first after after you save his butt because a thanks is sure to follow.
 
Use a cart of hay to break your pal's fall.
 
Needles can help with the stiffness that comes with the pain of falling out of the sky and through the roof.
 
The warrior that depends on luck is a fool. Cheiron
 
Selfish desires often mask themselves as good intentions. Cheiron
 
Balance is the key. Don't think about where you're stepping just feel the pull. Cheiron
 
You should keep your friends in the loop.
 
Warriors must learn to fight back to back. Depend on your comrade as he depends on you. Cheiron
 
Not all girls are impressed by money and a future king.
 
Some have to fight for everything while others have everything handed to them.
 
No, no I bet attending those royal banquets is really tough. Iolaus
 
Being royalty isn't all fun and games.
 
Be careful who you borrow money from.
 
We have nothing to hide the truth is our greatest weapon. Cheiron
 
Be patient let justice run its course.
 
You fight worse than you dress you wanna be a real God you're gonna have to do better than that. Hercules
 
Being chased by birds is fine but make sure you explain things.
 
You can't play much of a game of melon ball with a watermelon although it can be quite tasty.
 
Ares is a lot shorter in person.
 
Never underestimate the power of a kick.
 
A nice glass of lemonade is enjoyed by all even Ares.
 
If something's too easy be worried.
 
There are no excuses to get you out of kitchen duty.
 
It's good to have friends that will get you out of a tight jam.
 
Being the world's biggest party pooper automatically qualifies a person as an adult.
 
There's nothing more annoying than a guy who has to keep starting over when he's counting the dinars.
 
The Low Wags they're the most dangerous gang of thieves around. Hercules
 
Tution money is something worth stealing if you're a thief.
 
Never underestimate the power of a good bluff.
 
Send the horses off to delay the thieves.
 
Don't underestimate a bunch of wannabee warriors.
 
You can't rush in when there are hostages involved.
 
Moving the hostages is smart since it makes it impossible to rush in.
 
When your friend is trying to tell you something don't speak and if you do make sure you cover yourself.
 
Never trust a hoodlum since as a rule they tend not to be ones that keeps their word.
 
Make sure the guy stays knocked out long enough to avoid him telling everyone that there's an intruder or put a gag in his mouth and tie him up.
 
It's vital to stay alert.
 
Cover the guy's mouth when you snatch him so he can't yell out.
 
Blowing won't blow out the flames around you especially if lamp oil was poured on the floor and then it was ignited.
 
If no one will untie your bonds gnaw your way through them.

No one likes a double crosser.
 
When you don't know what it is that you're eating it just doesn't appeal especially if it's gloppy.
 
Don't mock your centaur teacher.
 
Check Athens for a cook.
 
The girl isn't a cook she's a cadet.
 
Girls are supposed to be sweet and gentle. Iolaus
 
No one likes a sexist pig.
 
Working for your passage seriously sucks since swabbing the deck is no fun.
 
Don't let go of the rope.
 
The forbidden just makes it that much more attractive.
 
To get the key you may have to cuddle and not in a good way.
 
Some guys are just more curious than others.
 
Swinging on a rope is a good idea but be warned that it could break.
 
People should not be cargo. Hercules
 
Don't hit on an Amazon unless you want to be in for a world of hurt.
 
Just because you heard something about someone doesn't make it true.
 
Go to the source to find out the truth.
 
It's handy to have someone sneaky, underhanded and conniving.
 
If the wood breaks in two use both hands for maximum beating potential.
 
Use a bucket to stop the arrow.
 
They're Amazons Iolaus they don't look men up they conquer them. Jason
 
Always keep your options open.
 
Amazons just aren't the cooking type so don't even bother ask.
 
Someone that likes the quiet shouldn't be planning any parties.
 
Mind the hair. Iolaus
 
Respect and responsibility are the keys to an orderly society.
 
The Dean of Mean will make you work all day if you knock him down.
 
To give the illusion of Iolaus have some boots and rig a bale of hay to be pulled down.
 
If Meanie trys to go up to the loft squirt him in the eye with cow's milk but make sure it looks like an accident.
 
If your teacher comes in while you're working disguise yourself if you're forced to wait on him.
 
Slop the hogs so Meanie can't tell who it is especially if you can't come up with anything else when you're under pressure.
 
Grab a mob to use as hair and dive into the mud so you can't tell who it is.
 
Is there no trust anymore? Jason
 
Disguise Tips
 
1. Hold a bunch of dishes in front of you.
 
2. Slouch and hold your noise when you talk to make your voice sound different.
 
3. Grab a goofy hat and say that it's a cute gimmick where all the waiters wear goofy hats.
 
4. Walk with the tray backwards to give him his food.
 
5. Use the tray to hide your face.
 
6. Duck before you're seen after the owner of the hat grabs it off your head.
 
7. Who are you fooling anyway? But totally appreciate the tip your teacher ends up giving you.
 
You can't blame yourself for your son's mistakes.
 
Sometimes it's a teacher that learns a lesson. Cheiron
 
If the door is chained that's a pretty good sign the place is closed.
 
Gods as a rule tend not to worry about mortals being inconvenienced.
 
No one wants to be tasting large tongue all night.
Watch where you're walking.
 
Big guy with hooves go first got it. Iolaus
 
Yeah parsley it's this little green garnish it makes it look festive. Jason
 
You shouldn't punish someone for something they didn't know about.
 
It sucks being on the bottom.
 
Don't you break that bread. Hercules
 
You can also trip on an orange just like you can with a bannana.
 
Haven't you heard of hoof and mouth diseases? Hercules
 
Your friends should know when your birthday is even if you are the future King.
 
Fighting over a table is really lame.
 
Good Fighting Causes
 
1. Fighting over a kingdom.
 
2. Fighting for a noble cause.
 
3. Fighting to stop outlaws.
 
Well if you and this table seem to be so in love my friends and I won't keep you love birds apart any longer so do you want to be alone? Hercules
 
I said we wouldn't fight over a table. I never said we wouldn't fight to defend ourselves. Hercules
 
Dakuda: It's an award for the student demonstrating the highest ideals of the Academy.
 
Ideals: Honor, Skill, Loyalty
 
1st Test Of Skill: One to one combat
 
You must be ready for anything. You must learn to see with other senses. Cheiron
 
If your blade breaks it's time to yield.
 
Hephaestus's Secret
 
His own special alloy is three times as strong and twice as light as Phoniceian iron. Trade secret magnetic metal. It's also great for fighting dragons.
 
I trust that you don't think that being a Dakuda is about shiny weapons. A Dakuda must learn to trust his or her other sense. Cheiron
 
2nd Test: Fighting blindfolded
 
A Dakuda must be adept at one to one combat under any circumstances. Cheiron
 
A sword is not a toy.
 
I mean the last thing this world needs is for them to fall into the hands of some big, ugly, creepy, funny looking kind of...Iolaus
 
Just because someone doesn't want to fight doesn't meant that person doesn't need the weapons.
 
Never trust a bully.
 
Well I know how it feels not to be liked. Hephaestus
 
Ugly bullies can run in families.
 
Never let a simple case of jealousy wreck a friendship.
 
Just because a girl's blind doesn't mean that she can't dole out an ass whuppin'.
 
Sometimes you have no choice but to fight.
 
A warrior's strength comes from within.
 
Just one thing if someone wants that fancy belt of your's just give it to them. Lilith
 
Hey birthday boy treats. Iolaus
 
Storytime With Jason And Iolaus
 
They thought everything was quiet and then it came again that eerie scratching sound. So the maid and the maidens sped off in the chariot. When they got home they found a monster stuck in the side of the chariot.
 
I got a story for you. It takes place in a forest not unlike this in fact it could be in this very path. There were two no there were three young warriors coming from Troy and they heart this noise. Kinda like that. No it was harpies half woman half bird beast swooped down and tore the flesh from your bones. Yeah yeah laugh all you want I swear it's true. They went down that path.
 
No tresspassing means no tresspassing.
 
I don't break laws just 'cause it's convenient. Jason
 
A short cut isn't always a good idea.
 
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
 
Centaurs aren't lowly beasts.
 
The ancient fued between centuar and Amazon is best left in the past. Cheiron
 
Never touch an Amazon's stuff.
 
For a little play fill a pig's bladder with water to use as a ball.
 
If the ball is too high use your head.
 
It's hard to talk to someone when you keep getting interrupted.
 
An Amazon reply that means she so isn't interested: What's your sign? No tresspassing.
 
You can't actually own a person.
 
As guests the Amazons are under the protection of the Acadey.
 
You can't just ignore the law even when it's wrong.
 
Tradition Of Champion
 
Combat by champions is a test of skill on the ropes. First one to knock the opponent to the ground wins.
 
The rules of Champions I win I get a reward. Hercules
 
Check the scroll since rules are rules after all.
 
Great Kings learn from their losses.
 
Every beginning starts with another beginnings end. Cheiron
 
Blind Date Tips
 
1. If there are three girls there should be three guys it's all about balance.
 
2. When you're introduced to your date it's a good idea to actually sit down next to her.
 
3. Lose the fourth guy since it kinda spoils the mood but do it in a way that won't hurt his feelings.
 
4. Offer to find the fourth guy a date.
 
5. Don't leave the girls waiting too long or they just might leave which is a downer in the realm of dating.
 
Getting A Girl's Attention Tips
 
1. Say, "Hello" and say it in the right way so try practicing before you try it out on a girl.
 
2. Tell the girl she has pretty eyes even if she doesn't.
 
3. Don't turn away since the girl might walk away and a guy may be there instead.
 
4. If you do turn away to get support from your friends make sure the girl is still sitting there to avoid complimenting a guy.
 
5. If you end up complimenting a guy say, "Sorry you're not his type but you do have pretty eyes."
 
You can't make a girl like you.
 
Hephaestus making a woman sounds like an incredibly bad idea. Hercules
 
There are just some things you shouldn't do.
 
Making A Girl Checklist
 
1. She has to be smart.
 
2. She has to know herself.
 
3. She has to have a very strong will (like bronze).
 
4. Her senses are amazing.
 
5. She can see and hear things men can't.
 
6. Her heart is pure (like gold).
 
8. She is is caring, generous, and full of love and affection.
 
Blow the magic dust to wake up your girl which will take a minute.
 
What girl doesn't like butterflies and flowers.
 
Don't bring your brother and friends on a date since it's such a bad idea.
 
Sometimes your words can come back to haunt you.
 
Don't mess with a pissed off God even if most of the time he's a nice guy.
 
Don't turn the girl you made into one with a heart like Olympian ice even if she didn't turn out the way you want since lives can be put in danger of the serious kind.
 
Sometimes you need to try another approach.
 
Say good morning when Fuducias says it first.
 
Kindred is centaur for clan.
 
Pay attention in language class.
 
Knocking stuff down really sends a sign of authority.
 
Cut out on a Friday since it's the last day of the week and you won't miss anything and hey everyone loves a long weekend.
 
When you have four feet you can run twice as fast.
 
Two guys don't add up to a centaur.
 
If you encounter Amazons give the sign for peace. The hands raised above the head.
 
Things can change a lot in a fairly short time.
 
Leaders don't need to be cruel to be in change. The best ones can also be merciful.
 
Say yes when you get an Amazon invite.
 
So you're an Amazon what's up with that isn't a good question to ask.
 
Just because a girl is an Amazon doesn't mean she can't like a guy.
 
Hold your horses is a bad choice of words when everyone is going nuts over a supposed centaur attack.
 
Centaurs don't do sneak attacks.
 
Being associated with a centaur doesn't make you a spy.
 
Find out who the enemy really is before declaring war.
 
Sometimes it's best to shut your big mouth.
 
Guys aren't all the same since there are some good ones out there.
 
You give up on half the world you prove them right girls can't make it. Hercules
 
Walking off in a hugg can get you into some serious trouble fo the spikey variety.
 
A good grip is needed unless you want to become kabobbed.
 
Just so you know Quido is on the Centaur Council.
 
Soland is the head guy when it comes to the centaurs.
 
Three Options To Consider
 
1. Deluded
 
2. Lying
 
3. Being deceived
 
Going to war over land is pretty dumb.
 
We should maintain peace.

Don't let your anger cloud your thinking.
 
Giving advice is well and good but one should also heed it.
 
Some people are too blind to listen.
 
Things aren't always as they appear.
 
I just don't want people I care about to die. Hercules
 
What's wrong with this picture is that no one's looking at the whole picture.
 
Scorch marks indicate a setup.
 
It is important to find another way if possible.
 
You know if you want to trick someone you make them so angry they can't think straight and sure they's do anything you want. Iolaus
 
Work on your stalling tactics since it could really come in handy.
 
A key just hanging there is too simple so be prepared for a trap that could spell your doom.
 
Attack the archer not the arrow. Cheiron
 
I k now a con when I see it and this has setup chisled all over it. Iolaus
 
In the trees the Amazons clearly have the advantage.
 
A sword doesn't solve every problem since it's never that easy.
 
Some thigns aren't worth asking about.
 
Having the heart of an Amazon is high praise indeed.
 
When you don't have much time use it wisely.
 
You need to work on your timing.
 
Sometimes emotions cloud reason and even a teacher forgets lessons he's taught for so long. You reminded me of them and I thank you. Cheiron
 
Being different isn't always bad it can be your burden or your strength. It's up to you to decide which.
 
A guy will never pass the physical to become an Amazon.
 
Sure nice people take turns but they are also not rude.
 
If a guy is rude tie the rope to something and for the Gods sakes don't hold in in your hand unless you want to be dragged by the chariot.
 
You know if you'd tied the rope to a tree like I told you this wouldn't have happened. Iolaus
 
Fun is an approach to life that everyone should try.
 
Well we can't all be exciting. Hephaestus.
 
Hephaestus On People
 
Well some people have a fire inside them. They take everything that life has to offer devour like flame burns wood.
 
Don't forget to keep pumping while you're talking.
 
Hephaestus On When He Tried To Change
 
Well I tried to change once. This fire here comes straight from the heart of the earth. It can melt you inside make you new. Well I asked it to come into my heart and make me a warrior like Hera wanted me to be. Yeah I just asked it. Yeah didn't like it much couldn't get any work done. There's always work to do.
 
Sometimes change isn't a good thing.
 
You know I'm gonna be King someday. Well I'm just waiting for the right kingdom to come along. Iolaus
 
If you're pretending to be a Prince make sure you have a kingdom in mind to make your fib seem more realistic.
 
If he makes it I'll eat my hat. I'm not gonna eat my hat. Iolaus
 
Some guys like sassy girls.
 
Fun is good and all but a person needs to sleep sometime.
 
Oats are a centaur thing.
 
When doing a drill you're supposed to go at half speed.
 
Don't touch the guy who's all read and on fire 'cause you'll get burned.
 
A rope is useless against fire and for the Gods sakes let go before you get burned.
 
Wood catches on fire too as cloth does.
 
Chain won't burn but you may end up hanging upside down and nearly set aflame.
 
Help get your friend down who's hanging.
 
You can't be what you're not so be happy with who you are.
 
Everyone needs a day off sometime.
 
There's more to being a warrior than just training you gotta develop your character.
 
Mushroom picking doesn't build character it's just an excuse to get you out so the others can plan your surprise party although you never know it could work.
 
A girl has to stay on top of things when she's among a bunch of boys.
 
You can't have a surprise party without some major decorations. Jason
 
Training hard deserves a reward.
 
Input is required by the farm boy as well as the Prince.
 
Now only get the mushrooms that are non posionous and don't eat any until Cheiron's checked them out. Hercules
 
How can something that tastes so good come from such a disgusting plant? Lilith
 
The bigger mushrooms are always down in back.
 
Giant rockso n the leg hurts like Tartarus.
 
Tell the truth when someone's hurt.
 
A cave in with a bunch of rocks falling on ya could lead to your head hurting big time.

Where's aspirin when you need it?
 
When decorating for a surprise party you want to go for a different look otherwise what would be the point.
 
It's good to get in touch with your feminine side but don't go too overboard 'cause it could get scary.
 
Sometimes no matter what you do the person dies anyway.
 
Someone that can sense trouble makes a good lookout.
 
Not every girl wants to be a homemaker since some girls need something different like being a warrior.
 
Being small can be an advantage like catching your opponent off guard for instance but eventually you need to learn to fight.
 
Party Planning
 
Don't forget extra cream pies when planning a party.
 
Don't forget the Borkabobs because everyone loves 'em.
 
Just because someone is a girl doesn't mean she's all that crazy about pink but it was sweet to try.
 
Even if you don't want to sometimes you have to leave to get help.
 
Don't trust strange men that pop up in a cave out of nowhere.
 
Sometimes you just need to walk away while the guys argue.
 
Leave when things get too hairy like a fight breaks out.
 
Check to make sure the guy's dead before you start celebrating.
 
Ares you know it wouldn't have taken a brain surgeon to figure out my brother was behind all this. Hercules
 
Picking mushrooms can get pretty hairy especially when there's a God around.
 
Party preparations can really take their toll so a nice nap is in order afterwards.
 
The question can't be answered false when it's not a true/false question.
 
In order to graduate you actually need to crack a book once in a while.
 
Smacking a God with a paddle only damages the paddle.
 
Blood isn't always thicker than water.
 
If a God's trying to kill you that's a serious sign that he doesn't like you not one little bit.
 
If you can't swim you should really learn so you're not stuck on shore unable to help your friend.
 
It's a good sign when your question about being dead is answered with a no.
 
Iolaus On The Gods
 
Cowards! Come on and fight me! You call yourself Gods! You sneak up and attack peole without warning! You're not Gods! You're just a bunch of stinking cowards!
 
You know it's said that uh a friend's never really lost if you remain true to the dreams you shared.
 
Go on and hug him after all he's your best friend and he's not dead.
 
Sometimes the fish is inside the boot so make sure you check before chucking it.
 
It's a good idea to run away from the flames since no one likes to burn.
 
You pull a guy out of the pond and he doesn't remember who he is he's gotta be called something like Fish for instance.
 
No man is without a past. Someone will come for him or his memory will return until then I'm sure you'll take good care of him. Cheiron
 
A belch during a meal is a sign of enjoyment.
 
There is nothing wrong with making things.
 
Be careful of machines when you have long hair since it could get bad like a sacrifice of some hair.
 
Nothing ruins a meal more than when an ugly scary giant peeks into your window and scares the Tartarus out of you.
 
You really think somebody's gonna pay to drink old bean water. Jason
 
Well it was easy ideas come to me. I look at something and I can see what it could be. Hephaestus
 
Some guys just don't want to fight.
 
It's better to hit with flour instead of flames.
 
You can't blame anyone when a rock's thrown into your flame thrower after all you are trying to set people on fire.

No I just sit here in the hot sun handing out headbands for my health. Grouchy Guy
 
You drop the right name and you get service with a smile.
 
A mean guy isn't appealing especially when it was an accident and he did apologize.
 
Throwing a guy after spinning him is uncalled for.
 
Pollux is always grumpy before a competition as well as homicidal.
 
Accept a free dinner even with the jerk because it's for your friend's sake.
 
Pollux And Castor's Story
 
We grew up in a village outside Sparta. Mother tried to keep us away from other people. Well Hercules can appreciate it the rest of you don't know what it's like when you tell someone that Zeus is your father.
 
Yep kids can be cruel. Hercules
 
Grown ups can be equally as cruel.
 
You can't change what you are.
 
All I want to do is make everybody that laughed as us when we were kids eat their words. That's why I became an athlete to rub their noses in it. Pollux
 
It's good to have goals.
 
No one likes a bragger and a bully.
 
It's rude to stand someone up so let the person know beforehand that your plans have changed.
 
Finding brothers is great and all but don't totally blow off your friends.
 
To slow down the competition say, "Oh is that Zeus?" and point and they fall for it every time.
 
It's pathetic to cheat when you have a bit of a lead and then you throw a rock at the other person.
 
Being a son of Zeus doesn't make you exempt from rules or better than mere mortals.
 
You should care about honor.
 
I want you to float like a butterfly and sting like a wasp. Iolaus
 
Just keep moving.
 
Watch your footwork. Keep your fists up. Iolaus
 
You can win by playing the rules.
 
It's now who your father is it's who you are. Hercules
 
It's not your fault if your brother is a jerk.
 
A ruler must appear to know everything even if you don't.
 
No playing ball in the throne room.
 
Never quibble with the sibyl.
 
Even a prince needs to go out and play since all work and no play make him a dull prince.
 
Falling on the ball flattens it.
 
I wish I was a prince huh nobody ever gives me rocks. Hercules
 
A rock isn't always a rock since it could turn out to be a basilisk.
 
Don't stick your arm in anyone's mouth.
 
Having green goo spit on you tends to make one lose one's appetite.
 
Don't spit green goo at the people that are on your side.
 
It's vital to remember that you can't swim so you don't end up needing saving.
 
Some people can only be seen when they want to be. Hercules.
 
A basilisk's venom can turn a man to ashes although it takes t ime to take effect.
 
Some people just don't know how to show their appreciation.
 
It's not so fun to get slimed but when it's Strife that's another story.
 
Save the chitchat for later unless you want to keep getting knocked onto your ass.
 
Yeah well keep your guard up or that's not all that'll be broken. Lilith
 
Bacchus is not a cyclops that works for Ares.
 
Playing pin the tail on the centaur isn't the funnest part of a party although it could have it's place.
 
Good Party
 
1. Good food
 
2. Lots of interesting art work
 
3. They're girls.
 
4. Don't forget to mention the guys for your friend who is a girl.
 
You miss out on stuff when you go to King School.
 
It never fails. Chicks always dig guys with horns. Iolaus
 
Sometimes a dance is more than a dance.
 
Fangs is a sign of something being wrong.
 
Leave a party when it gets a little too strange especially if the host has horns.
 
Count yourselves lucky you escaped his cult. The Bacchae live for the whims of their master. Legend has it that in moments of extreme excitement the Bacchae transform into wolves. Cheiron
 
Next time I see that two faced Orpheus he'll be playing that lyre with his toes. Hercules.
 
Just because a girl is doing bad things doesn't mean a girl is a bad person.
 
Don't let Hercules pick the party unless you want things to be either way dull or way too strange.
 
Gods are never out of the picture. Hercules
 
Sometimes they really are friends of the band.
 
Use your friend in the band status to get the chicks.
 
With Bacchus's golden lyre you can touch the souls of the audience.
 
When your friend won't go with you carry him out so he doesn't get bacchaed.
 
A mirror isn't always what it appears to be.
 
Never trust a red skinned horned God.
 
Ball's in your court Horn Boy. Deal with it. Orpheus
 
Always keep your sword nice and sharp/
 
The undead can only be defeated by their own. Such weapons are not easy to come by. Cheiron
 
A dryad won't give you a bone even if you ask.
 
Honesty is important in a relationship.
 
Ladies and Gentlement I don't mean to alarm you but there are bacchae in the building.
 
While a God may be eternal his hold on people isn't.
 
Sometimes the girl goes with the lying creep.
 
Make sure that the case actually has something inside before it gets thrown off the cliff.
 
Sometimes following your destiny involves great sacrifice. Eurydice
 
A guy can be a real drag when he loses the girl.
 
Everyone can be wrong sometimes.
 
It's not a good sign when bacchae are afoot.
 
You are lower than something really low. Hercules
 
Work on your insults because it can hurt you if you don't have the perfect comeback.
 
If Bacchus doesn't get back his lyre he'll get really cranky and you don't want to see that.
 
In general you just can't deal with a God.
 
Daring rescues don't always go as planned.
 
Go stuff a grape leaf would ya. Iolaus
 
Smells like trouble. Iolaus
 
Save the hugging until you're out of the burning cave.
 
Don't give up on yourself. Eurydice
 
A guy that just lost a girl he cared about doesn't make him feel very festive even if Iolaus is in the dunking booth.
 
When Iolaus is in the dunking booth stock up on the tickets.
 
A good friend will go with you to the other side.
 
A mortal shouldn't have to pay for a God's whims.
 
Charon's got a schedule to keep and he can get really grumpy especially if you're still alive and you don't pronounce his name right.
 
Charon's not a show girl.
 
Executive officer in charge of transport a chronic division first class and I don't help the living. Charon
 
Name dropping can get you places.
 
No one wants to have their arm ripped off and beaten with the soggy end.
 
Some things you just don't want to know about.
 
Offering to row is well and good but offering a friend up to rub Charon's bunions is quite another.
 
Little basilisks grow into very big ones.
 
Sarcasm look into it.
 
If you can't buy it then plan a breakout.
 
If you can't find the keys use a sword to break the lock.
 
Instead of green goo the full grown basilisk breathes fire.
 
No one likes a lynch mob.
 
Breathing fire makes one quite thirsty.
 
What the fruit was that? Hercules
 
Missing someone even a basilisk isn't silly at all.
 
It's really low to steal a guy's boots.
 
Fight bandits since they can't be reasoned with.
 
Five on one is a little excessive.
 
Forest trails aren't always as safe as they appear.
 
Even a man on a mission needs to eat.
 
So he's standing on Mt Olympus looking down on him and Zeus says to Ares, "You may be the God of War but you're still going bald." Lucious
 
Some guys just talk.
 
Twins are really two parts of one person the Fathes had joined like the two halfs of the moon.
 
The truth has to come out some time.
 
When you're grieving it's understandable to be upset especially when the father is Zeus.
 
Meeting another brother isn't always a good thing.
 
Keep the psycho talking while you break through your bonds.
 
A psycho has no say in who deserves to live and who deserves to die.
 
Pracitce your spinning so you don't get dizzy.
 
It's not always the wind since it could be Nemesis with her bow and arrow.
 
The punishment doesn't always fit the crime like killing a man for stealing a little oil from Hera's Temple for his sick child.
 
Watch out for Stregna's very long hair.
 
You can't hit what you can't see. Nemesis
 
Keep a firm grip on your sword especially if you end up hanging from a tree.
 
Cut Stregna's hair so she goes away.
 
When the death machine is a babe you want to see her again.

Never challenge satyrs to a race unless you feel like running around naked when you lose.
 
It's good to keep your options open.
 
Etiquette Lesson
 
It's of utmost importance to remember that an ambassador from Sidonia must always be greeted with the left hand and must never be seating facing south.
 
Respecting others customs even pirates is statesmanship the formalities are what's important. Great cities have gone to war for less.
 
Pay attention because protocol makes the world go round.
 
Ya fell for the dummy, dummy. Hercules
 
Becoming King is very stressful which can lead to a case of the grumpies.
 
No thanks creepy lady. Jason
 
Some guys just won't take no for an answer.
 
When a beautiful asks you to dance you can't refuse.
 
The Trickiness To Planting
 
If you plant too early you miss the rain, nothing grows and you go hungry. If you plant too late you miss the market, nothing sells, and you go poor.
 
A journey can be quite enlightening.
 
You should fight for the right to live in peace.
 
Sweet talk the creepy lady along with a dinar to find out where your friend went.
 
Run away fast from the creepy lady.
 
Sometimes you have to take a stand and fight for what you believe in. Jason
 
Party at my palace. Jason
 
Alcmene's cooking is like the Elysian Fields on earth especially her sweet apple pie and ehr fig tars and the lamb with the red sauce.
 
Talking about food makes ya hungry.
 
Smelling smoke is sometimes a sign of a fire and not the cooking kind.
 
When you need to make a dinner guest leave use the excuse of inspecting the troops.
 
Some guys should really use a bib when they eat.
 
Always use the fork furtherst from the place first.
 
Even a Prince can miss his friends.
 
I'm gonna break you in half followed by running away doesn't exactly strike terror.
 
Never trust a hooded man that uses the word golly.
 
Be weary if the big guy runs away.
 
Saying, "Knot a problem" is a serious sign of boredom.
 
To make the little girl who lost her dog feel better give her a magic coin but realize that she'll grab it and run away with it.
 
Always look for clues.
 
Etiquette lessons are a tedious but necessary thing when you're going to be King one day.
 
Let the kid have your dinar.
 
No goat stew for psycho boy until he does what his equally psychotic mother wants unless of course she likes the new plan in which case she'll offer her's since she threw the other bowl against the wall.
 
Some people actually care about their friends.
 
Sometimes a person is a little slow on the uptake.
 
Sometimes you make yourself look bad all by yourself.
 
Ceres the Goddess of Bounty can be a bear.
 
Some people can't remember their dreams.
 
Sometimes a nightmare is more than a nightmare.
 
The Gods cause this dark presence to enter our world from your dream. It seems like the work of the God Morpheus. Cheiron
 
Physical presence in the dream world is tricky stuff people get hurt you know. Morpheus
 
Embrace your greatest fear. Cheiron
 
To destroy it would be to destroy part of yourself. Cheiron
 
The vortex is the only way back out.
 
Now concentrate on the still surface of the water. Come and breathe as I tell you. Slowly, slowly. Cheiron
 
Screaming is a natural reaction when your hands have bugs crawling all over them.
 
Remember that it's only a dream
 
Sometimes all it takes is a hug.
 
You're forgetting something Ares a little something called inner strength. Hercules
 
None of us are without our dark sides. Cheiron
 
Sometimes you just want to play bag ball instead of going back to sleep especially after being sucked in a nightmare because sleep is the last thing on your mind.
 
Being called a shark isn't necessarily always meant as a compliment.
 
When you're going off to battle just be ready. Jason
 
Cleo's Tale
 
So I walked right up to the bouncer and I'm like is this a private party? And he's all yeah it is go away. So I go on come on please. And he's like no so then I go how's about we arm wrestle I win I get in. King Midas game this to me himself solid gold. Yeah I danced with him twice. He's a cute guy if you overlook the donkey ears.
 
It's ok for the girl to muss up the hair but not another guy.
 
If they keep saying loosen up just go for it.
 
Some just don't have the talent for burping.
 
Only one thing tastes like chicken and that would be chicken.
 
If you kidnap someone tell her the reason why.
 
There's a difference between being dishonest and just being bad at math. Cleo
 
If hitting the big guy in the guy has no effect step on his foot.
 
Some people suck at moving targets.
 
Don't be afraid to call the cheater a cheat.
 
When a bird flaps his wings in fear that means someone is in the mouth of the cave.
 
The Feast of Persephone is my favorite holiday because I get to have big heapin' delicious stacks of fish and feta popovers! Jason
 
Everyone doesn't like fish and feta popovers.
 
When you make fish and feta popovers your hands stink for a week.
 
Coming home can give you an unpleasant surprise.
 
The bigger the crowd the better the beast. Alcmene
 
Instead of getting your bedroom you might get stuck in the barn.
 
Be careful who you ask about the traditions of the feast and stuff.
 
Jason On Traditions
 
It's traditional to leave a few peas on your plate in the shape of a star for Persephone to take back to Hades with her in the Fall. And you have to eat at least one stalk of asparagus. It's an insult if you don't.
 
Sports come first then helping out in the kitchen.
 
You don't tackle the guy that no longer has the ball.
 
It's ok to be homey as well as a warrior.
 
If he can't take it he shouldn't play. Hercules
 
Hold at an angle and cut away from you. Lilith
 
Or you can pretend it's hanging in front of a shop and you have to cut it down before the owner sees you. Lilith
 
It's funn when you hunt for boar and totally miss it.
 
Sometimes the ladies bring home the bacon.
 
A man doesn't always catch the boar since the women might be up the challenge.
 
Don't be a big dope just be happy if mom is happy.
 
If a person's name is Lilith it's a pretty safe bet that she's a girl.
 
Never be afraid to say you're sorry.
 
You're excused early but it comes with a catch since you have that extra time to study.
 
When the locks are too easily broken into be weary.
 
There's always a way so don't panic.
 
It's good to snoop especially when you find out that your friend may get sent back to jail if he doesn't pass.
 
Jail's not funny. Hercules
 
You have to have a system like alphabetical order or something for when you need to study for tests.
 
Stop my brain is gonna explode. Iolaus
 
Each person learns in his or her own way.
 
Be sincere when you tell your friend he's not stupid.
 
Some must make everything into a wager.
 
If nothing was bet nothing is owed.
 
Don't be late or Fiddle Face will take off points.
 
Even Fiddle Face can do something nice for a student so he learns a valuable lesson.
 
Spartans have little patience and some don't think much of their intellect.
 
Let go of the reins when you fall off the chariot and the horses are dragging you.
 
Aim for the creek when you're in an out of control chariot.
 
Some guys aren't cut out for farming or sword play.
 
Don't be mean to the guy especially if he's trying.
 
A lookalike can come in handy when a war can be stopped by him.
 
Girls love heroes. Iolaus
 
Training To Be Ares
 
1. Teach him to fight.
 
2. Be patient with him.
 
3. Work on gruffness.
 
4. Dress the part and get the mustache.
 
5. Work on your facial expressions.
 
Saying , "We come in peace" gets the attention of Strife and Discord.
 
You're naughty. Timor
 
An Uncle tends to fain when he realizes that Ares looks exactly like his nephew.
 
Timor Tells Off Ares
 
No you leave him alone. You're the joke Ares calk tiyrsekf a GId, Well you're not the kind of God I've ever want to worship. YOu make people suffer. You demand respect but you do nothing to earn it. You're nothing but a bully. You can't do anything worse to me than I've already done to myself.
 
It's never too late to talk peace and sign a treaty.
 
I'm Ares God of War and you're unfit to lick the soles of my sandals. Timor
 
It is I who decides who has a war where and with whom. This pathetic skirmish of yours is totally unauthorized. Timor
 
Pulling pranks on graduating cadets requires style, planning, execution. Hercules
 
In other words you have to be sneaky.
 
Well it's gonna take more than a pig's bladder if you want to outwit the Legendary Hercules on Prank Days. Lilith
 
It should matter if the cook knows how to cook after all that's what the cook is supposed to do.
 
Mud Man takes a bath before eating.
 
Sometimes the food actually resembles palace food.
 
The old dribble glass can save you from drinking acid.
 
It hurts when someone tugs you around by your ear.
 
He's a good cook but he sure is accident prone and he dresses like an oddball. Jason
 
Sometimes the dummy in the bed isn't a dummy at all but the actual person.
 
There are some things you don't lile about like an assassination attempt.
 
Set a trap for the assassin and set a swarm of wasps after him.
 
Rig the place so he can't get away.
 
Use goose fat to make the rope slippery.
 
Rig a fake window to fool the dummy.
 
Never underestimate the cadets.
 
Tie a rope to the bed and off you go with the horse pulling you away.

A princess isn't a package she's a person.
 
I don't understand what kind of person thinks another person makes a good stocking stuffer. Lilith
 
If you don't want to get married pretend to be married already.
 
Princess Tips
 
1. A tiara is for wearing on the head.
 
2. Don't spit on your hand and wipe it off after it's kissed by your "husband".
 
3. Slow down when you're using a fan you're not stoking a campfire after all.
 
4. Think wrist when opening a fan.
 
5. If someone comes up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder don't toss him onto his butt because that isn't very princessy.
 
6. Get some help from an actual princess.
 
7. Don't forget the wig if you have short hair because a Princess usually has long hair.
 
Try speaking actual words instead of using your blade.
 
Some wars are fought on the battlefield some in throne rooms you'll learn. King Cambas
 
A daughter is a better gift than a goat although you shouldn't give your daughter away as a gift to begin with since she's a person not a blender.
 
The couplets they gotta go. Hercules
 
Jug the annoying guy who doesn't speak like a normal person.
 
He's messy but he's funny well that's part of his charm. Jason
 
A loving wife should look after her husband. King Cambas
 
Toss an apple to shut the fool up.
 
Clam up Pestlehead! Lilith
 
Throw a place to knock the sword out of a boob's hand.
 
There is nothing wrong with a she-warrior.
 
You shouldn't force someone to marry someone they don't love.
 
You must never deny a king.
 
Kings don't call other Kings sir.
 
Oh sweet mystery thy name is Lilith. Hercules
 
Don't forget the goofy hat when you start spouting off couplets.
 
When you're royalty you can't have enough blenders.
 
All you see is not all there is. Cheiron
 
I can work with invisible. Iolaus
 
Some guys need to be taught some manners.
 
Hunting should be about feeding your family not showing off. Kora
 
Hunting for sport is wrong. Kora
 
Some girls run very fast.
 
Ok watch where you're shooting your arrows. Hercules
 
You might want to work on your deep scary voice thing. Hercules
 
The Goddess of the Hunt has certain places and certain creatures that are special to her. Kora
 
Well I'm glad you're not me so I wouldn't have to wear that hat. Iolaus
 
Some guys are really testy when you make fun of his hat.
 
Golden hinds are the gentlest and rarest of creatures they're almost extinct and they're Artemis's favorites. Kora
 
Golden hinds don't like being touched by humans so hands off.
 
No life should be taken casually. Kora
 
Artemis never misses with her bow so watch out.
 
Men aren't allowed in the Temple of Artemis in Cinnaca.
 
To keep the hind safe make it look like you killed her by using flint to make a fire along with a horn and a tuft of fur as proof.
 
When you hear a loud noise it's usually a good idea to run.
 
Puce does not go with gold it never has and it never will. Leah
 
Some people have better taste than others.
 
People in general know how to wave so no practice is necessary.
 
A battle avoided is a battle won. Cheiron
 
When the prince makes up his mind about something don't say a word.
 
Sometimes there's no talking only smacking around.
 
Shooting a giant in the arm only pisses her off.
 
Lying is something everyone does at one time or another.
 
The stew in the palace's jail is actually pretty good.
 
Just because someone appears to be a mosnter doesn't mean she is one.
 
There is nothing more cowardly than mocking the person locked up unable to do anything.
 
Some humans can actually be trusted.
 
The Captain of the guard should obey the Prince after all he's about to become the King.
 
Friends fight but apologizing and a hug squares things away and shouldn't result in the friend getting arrested for getting into a simple disagreement.
 
Iolaus's Decorating Advice
 
With a little imagination you can really fix this cave up. No really a few frescoes, an urn, couple potted plates.
 
Don't destroy the guy that amuses you.
 
Some people aren't much for talking.
 
Sometimes a person needs to be reminded of who they really are.
 
When the Prince tells you to lower your weapons do it.
 
Galinthia Remembers
 
Alcmene. Hercules you fought your poor mother like a warrior. Your cries shook the walls.
 
An innocent child can't be blamed for the pettiness of Hera.
 
Place the blame where it belongs on a jealous woman and her cheating husband.
 
Sometimes talking solves the problem without bloodshed.
 
Sometimes a fresh start is for the best.
 
Lose the crappy color scheme once you're crowned after all you're King now.
 
Ban the color puce from all of Corinth simple because it's unflattering.
 
Gods Lesson
 
Hades: God of the Underworld
 
Gaia: Mother of the Earth
 
Neptune: God of the Sea
 
Nike: Winged Goddess of Victory
 
Zeus: King of the Gods
 
Great artists learn to see without using their eyes. Cheiron
 
It's not always so easy to let things go.
 
You want a little cheese with that whine sister put a cork in it. Sister
 
Cursing Iolaus And Jason
 
Seek with the eyes and ears
of Artemis Goddess of the Hunt
The plants and animals of the forest will find
the one who would become King and make him a pig
Be it weed or flower whatever plan he
destroys will do the same to him
All things that grow vines and branches lay him low
Find the one who would be King and make him a pig
 
Stop laughing and start helping. Jason
 
Don't eat the giant eye.
 
I swallowed an eye that's gross. Jason
 
Sometimes making you sick is the whole idea of spinning you around especially when you swallowed a giant eye.
 
Keep away from plants. Hercules
 
A giant eye is eeww!
 
Undo Curse
 
And now we ask Artemis to return these boys to their rightful form
 
Return the eye and apologize for taking off with it.
 
Beware of what you seek to see. You never know what may happen when you look into the future. Sister
 
Guess you have to be pretty desperate if you're hanging out with Strife. Hercules
 
A bad hair day isn't all that bad since there are worse things.
 
Did you uh mean to wear that?
 
The clothes make the man so think before you get dressed in the morning.
 
I'm afraid that the existence of Gods is a scientific impossibility. Pythagoras
 
Some people just don't believe in Gods.
 
It's a pain in the ass when a God won't reveal himself.
 
Don't mention me I'm not important. Fatuous
 
I foresee one day all mortals will stop believing in the Gods of Olympus and when that happens we'll cease to exist. Fatuous
 
Magic can be another word for chemistry.
 
Be careful when someone tells you to bend over.
 
Don't throw a cup of water in Strife's face although it is amusing.
 
Tricks with furniture don't make you a God. Pythagoras
 
Throw some logic at the God regarding losing the bet.
 
Some people are so annoying that you just want to smack some sense into them.
 
You can't force people to believe in something they just don't.
 
A great philospher once said, "Gotcha!"
 
Shut the door to stop the blowing wind
 
That wind really packs a wallop.
 
Fight the wind with fire.
 
The fire should draw the north wind up through that hole in the roof. Pythagorus
 
Save the celebratory dancing till you've actually won.
 
Admitting That You're Wrong
 
Admitting you could be is the the first step towards wisdom. Cheiron
 
If you make a mess you clean it up Cheiron
 
Live and let live forever. Iolaus
 
Downsides To Being A Professional Hunter
 
1. Well um going hunting is one thing and then being a hunter well that's something else.
 
2. They don't see their families for weeks at a time.
 
3. They live like beasts.
 
4. They have to grub for food.
 
5. Not bathing.
 
6. They eventually become the thing they hunt.
 
7. There's also the smell.
 
There could be a very smelly reason for why everyone offers a person their seat.
 
Uncle Flatus Tale
 
I guess your uh landry shooting days are over. We were we were coming back from a hunt and little Iolie here sees his father's long underwear hanging out to dry. He thinks it's a demon from Tartarus. Zing he shoots it clean through.
 
You know Iolaus he attracts trouble like a dog attracts fleas. Hercules
 
Uncle Flatus's Hunting Tips
 
1. Be quiet.
 
2. Use your nose to smell the deer spore and judge how far away the deer is the warmer it is the closer you are.
 
3. Now the way to track a deer is to think like a deer.
 
4. He'll be sniffing out water soon so that's where we'll catch him.
 
5. Know where to set a snare and don't forget the vines.
 
Follow at a distance to try to keep your friend out of trouble.
 
You don't want to piss off Artemis.
 
It's an adjustment to all of a sudden be on two legs instead of four.
 
A deer's mouth tastes like the bottom of a bird's nest.
 
Big oops deers can't talk.
 
Signs That Your Friend Is A Deer
 
1. He eats grass.
 
2. He sees you and runs away in a strange way.
 
3. There is a strange look in his eyes.
 
4. He uses his hind legs in a new way that can actually come in handy in the future.
 
If your friend is a deer catch him like one.
 
How can somebody that's so short be so heavy huh? Hercules
 
Deer look nervous because people are always trying to kill them.
 
Walking around in someone else's hooves gives you a whole new perspecitive on things.
 
He did something wrong but he doesn't deserve to die. Jason
 
Having a brave and caring heart is sorely needed in the world.
 
It's called the Forbidden Zone no one knows what lies beneath the sand. But whatever it is no man has seen it and lived to tell the tale. Hercules
 
If you see two guys having a chariot race don't be a major ass by throwing the guy out and stealing the chariot.
 
No one likes a cocky arrogant son of a bacchae.
 
It's dumb to prove a point by nearly killing someone in the process.
 
Everyone deserves a change to prove themselves even if the person doesn't give the best first impression.
 
Sometimes the guy is as big a blow hard as he seems to be.
 
Theseus Bragging
 
Now this one I got in Carthage they weren't so tough. Long siege though ate nothing for days but dried camel. Now I'll tell you what was rought choosing those gorgons out of Mycenia whooee. Talk about a bug hunt.
 
Some guys just need a serious ass kicking to be cut down to size.
 
Don't tell Soldier Boy that you're still sore because he eats his wounded.
 
Theseus With More Bragging
 
So I says listen pal you better back off before I tie your tail in a knot and use your horns to make dice. Ah he is just a a cow with muscles.
 
Some guys talk because they love to hear themselves drone on and on.
 
Some girls go weak in the knees at cheesey lines.
 
Come on kid pick up the pace last time I saw someone parry like that they ended up as a Macedonian shiskabob. Don't every let your guard down. Theseus
 
There are reasons sometimes very good ones for rules.
 
Don't forget to grab some sand for your friend's hand that's about to chariot race.
 
Run when there's a big hungry ogre beneath your feet so save the beautiful moment for later.
 
Come clean about your lies.
 
Exposing your lies could have encouraged you to take them elsewhere. Allowing you to choose the truth may be the first step to a fresh start.
 
 
Stick a sandal in it Ares. Hercules
 
Some guys just sing in the shower because they won't get naked in front of a crowd.
 
A crystal paper weight that glows in the hands of a half God implies badness is afoot especially when the God of War turns up.
 
Sometimes you have to sing so Ares won't win and get the Kronos stone.

Some shortcuts are best avoided.
 
Philosophy scrolls are pretty heavy.
 
Sand in the pants might be the least of your problems.
 
All travelers should steer clear of the Dune Seas. Thesius
 
Don't hog the waterskin when you're walking in a hot and sandy place that goes on and on.
 
Never come between a mother and her young.
 
Marco's Staff
 
Marco's staff is not a stick but a symbol of honor the people in his village are all fishermen. When you're born they plant a tree for you. When you're old enough they cut the tree down and carve a fishing pole from the wood if the make a walking staff instead it's a big honor. It means they want you to go out in the world and do something more. Something they can never do as simple fishermen.
 
Sometimes there's nothing you can do even if you're a half God.
 
When your friend throws the rock that's your cue to run like Tartarus so the sand shark doesn't eat you.
 
When you're literally running for your life for the Gods sakes don't look back.
 
Use rocks to make your way out of the dunes and keep moving.
 
Impaling the sand shark with a piece of wood does the trick.
 
To improve on your skills even more practice sword play on ladders but be careful since it hurts when you get knocked down.
 
He who admits his mistakes becomes a wise man. Cheiron
 
Get actors to come to Parent's Day but make sure they know your name.
 
Someone that gets sick can get better especially if it's just a cold.
 
Watch where you're throwing stuff.
 
Looking sporty doesn't make you less pretty.
 
Send Mom to the kitchen to give tips to the cook to get her out of the way.
 
Steer away from war talk if you're not up on your facts.
 
Your plan can get seriously messed up when your best friend's mom fills in your mom on the whole Parent's Day thing.
 
Be creative in the way of telling how you get into trouble and pin it on someone else to make you look better.
 
Distract the parents by asking for help with a move and if that doesn't work throw something and then blame it on spies.
 
The girl has to play the supporting role since centuars are males.
 
It seems that perception is in the eye of the perceiver. Cheiron Speak
 
If the plan explodes just fess up although you may delay.
 
You may as well continue to help your friend out of a serious jam.
 
A father should make an effort to be around more.
 
Even if you don't want her to stay it's good to realize that you should be happy about your sister finding a place where she belongs even if you weren't so sure about it at first.
 
No more genius plans for a while anyway.
 
Technically if the sun isn't up yet the reports aren't late.
 
A great warrior raises from the ashes of defeat. Beware a lyre's enchantment. In times of crisis a son of Zeus forges ahead. Cheiron
 
If someone's in the way jump over him.
 
Remove the gag so the guy can answer you.
 
People give ya stuff when you save a person's life.
 
Some people have the special talent of being able to fall asleep anywhere especially when work is involved.
 
Herbs are useful to make medicines while weeds are just annoying.
 
Know the difference between a weed and a herb.
 
A warrior should know the herbs that heal as well as he knows his weapons. Cheiron
 
Something sounding like thunder without a cloud in the sky is a very bad sign.
 
Stealth is key when you need to find out who's attacking you.
 
Run to avoid getting hit by the bang bangs.
 
Watch for traps 'cause no one likes to get caught up in a net.
 
A God can breed major paranoia and destruction.
 
The thunderarrows are not only pretty lights in the sky but they can be used as serious weapons.
 
Being dazzled can impair your judgement.
 
No fireworks in the cave.
 
Breaking the bars to get out is a good idea along with running so you don't get blown up.
 
Not only a fashion accessory but a way to communicate in the form of a necklace.
 
Hey I've been working on this new idea it's called indoor plumbing it's great. Hehpaestus
 
You can totally be forgiven if you were under the influence of Ares.
 
Well I liked Iolaus better in a cage. Cyane
 
Don't challenge satyrs to a sausage eating contest.
 
Nobody invited you to this party so back off. Mila
 
Don't help unless you're invited.
 
When you run out of stick try kicking.
 
He leaves his left open after he swings. One little shot from below and he's down. Mila
 
Hey no offense but I'm not here to have fun. I'm here to fight. Mila
 
The Tempus Locus Maneuver can even take an Amazon off guard.
 
Remember that dreams can be manipulated.
 
Oh man I hate it when I can't see them. Iolaus
 
The Gods play tricks with humans that's what they do. Hercules
 
A big pack on the back makes you feel like a donkey.
 
It doesn't hurt to take a rest after all you've been carrying a big pack around.
 
It's not nice to fry your half brother.
 
Laugh at all Apollo says or he gets really cranky.
 
Some guys don't like to be called sir.
 
Don't forget the straw and make sure you don't forget the hummus.
 
Yeah this is the life nothing to do bask in my own glory and worshipping nymphs orbiting around. Apollo
 
Where in Tartarus is my table? Apollo
 
You get burned if you piss off Apollo.
 
God or no God you shouldn't treat people that way.
 
Sometimes people are too busy being scared of ya to actually like ya.
 
Apollo can really turn up the heat.
 
I'm starting to bake like a chicken. Iolaus
 
Apologize before everyone is cooked.
 
You can't tell me I'm not adored you pathetic little half God. Apollo
 
We're gonna go back to our pathetic mortal friends at our loser academy all right. Hercules
 
Some people hit the jackpot when it comes to families.
 
Oh did you forget I rise in the east. And set in the west. Apollo
 
You can't blame a guy for his family.
 
Protect the academy. Cheiron
 
Archers are useless against Gods.
 
Well if you can't stand the heat you better get out of the academy. Apollo
 
That's the problem mortals are so fickle. Apollo
 
Hello immortals can be pretty darn fickle themselves.
 
It's cheating to do your burning thing in a fight.
 
Even Gods can be jealous of a little half brother with friends.
 
Time to put you out of my misery. Apollo
 
If you want friends stop being a jerk.
 
Keep telling yourself that you're a God so you have someone to talk to. Hercules
 
To be really impressive do ten more lifts.
 
When you're a spotter you never leave the person you're spotting for.
 
Things can always get worse.
 
The taller goes high while the shorter goes low.
 
The Godly aura is deadly to mortals.
 
Sometimes risking your life is the only way.
 
Pretend to have an antidote to reveal the traitor.
 
A warrior uses every means at his disposal.
 
Don't rub anything on without consulting Cheiron especially if Iolaus made it since it just causes a case of the itchies.
 
When it's been a tough week you need to get out and enjoy yourself by having a weekend camping trip.
 
You gotta know how to haggle since it's a vital skill in life.
 
Well if Iolaus is cutting me some slack I must need a break. Hercules
 
Ten dinars is pretty expensive to find out where the fish but hey if you really dig fish.
 
Remember that there's always a catch.
 
Storytime With Thesius
 
Ok so now they were sure the monster was asleep. Then the boy reached his hand inside the monster's cage a little further a little further and just a touch more until he could just reach the golden key pinned underneath the monster's bloody jaw. He pulls his hand away a little more a little more and then...
 
A monster can really mess up a story just as it's getting to the good part.
 
Hello peacock does not taste like chicken it tastes like peacock and chicken tastes like chicken.
 
If fire's out then run like Tartarus.
 
Watch your step.
 
Use your fishing skills to get your friend back.
 
Don't mock the monster.
 
Please stand clear of the door. Hercules
 
If you are out of weapons make some serious new ones.
 
When a guy says that he doesn't know it means that he doesn't know.
 
We either fight it or we wait till morning and fight it then. Thesius
 
Check for a back door but tread lightly.
 
Deep breaths. Time out. Hercules
 
Mention the man eating monster free of charge.
 
Hera's valley is rich with game and a monster.
 
Peacocks are sacred to Hera so beware when you see one.
 
Saying sorry doesn't work when your stepmom hates you just because you exist.
 
No it's weird we just kinda left camp really fast. Hercules
 
Cook Fish
 
1. Cover with cider
 
2. Cover with cornmeal special sauce
 
One gets angry when one is led into a trap with a man eating mosnter.
 
Because we don't get to choose who we save. Hercules
 
Monster bait it's not exactly what every kid dreams of being when he grows up is it? Iolaus
 
Quails talk so be very quiet.
 
Hey watch the plumes. Iolaus
 
Beware of monster breath it's quite stinky!
 
He who knows how to make bird calls always gets to be the bird.
 
A thank you should be said after you save a person's life.

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